Communication
by zzzp2
Summary: Not everything is black and white in this game... especially the language barrier. What if you could actually TALK to the pokemon in your game? B/W, FW breaking, but in the game. So screen breaking?
1. Beginnings

**Author's note: Text in double quotes(") is actual dialogue, text in single(') quotes is the text box.**

**This is my first story, but don't let that deter you. Plus, I'm going through and revising it.**

It had finally come!

I inserted the cartridge of Pokemon Black into the back of my DSi, and pushed the power button. It turned on, displaying a rather cool intro cutscene with a guy being crowned. After this it displayed a white dragon-like Pokemon: Reshiram, the mascot of the game.

I pressed A, then new game, and a professor (a woman, I noticed) said 'Hi there!'. Or, a text box at the bottom of the screen read it. As it did in all Pokemon games.

"Yeah... just let me play already." I muttered to myself, wishing for this cutscene to get over with.

Somehow the game prepared for this, and the professor's sprite frowned.

'You mean you already know Pokemon?' The text box read, and I pressed Yes.

'Uh... Ok then... are you a boy or girl?' it asked.

I selected boy and typed in 'Kyle' for my name.

'I'm going to introduce you to your two best friends.' Two? I thought. I have two rivals in this game? Awesome!

'This young man is Cheren. He can be a little difficult, but he's a very honest person. This young woman is Bianca. She's a little flighty, so she works hard. I think you three have potential, so I'm going to give you a Pokemon.' So the rivals' names are Cheren and Bianca. Cool!

"The moment you choose your Pokemon, your journey will begin. But since you already know all of Pokemon already, let's go visit the world of Pokemon!"

Oh, Nintendo. The dev team DOES think of everything.

The screen blacked out and it showed the professor (Juniper I think) going into my house and after a second coming out...

And then the screen changed to my room, with a present on a table, and a boy next to me: Cheren.

Cheren was the first one to talk. 'Cheren: I heard from Professor Juniper. We can have a Pokemon? ... ... What's keeping Bianca?'

And lo and behold, Bianca appeared from the stairs. 'Am I a little late? So-oooo-orry!'

'Bianca, I've known for ten years that you have no sense of time, but...seriously? Today's the day we can get a Pokemon!'

I laughed at that.

Cheren's sprite looked down, towards the screen. 'Did you just hear laughter? It seemed to be coming from that wall.'

Wait, what? Did Cheren hear me?

'I didn't hear anything...' Bianca said. 'So, where are the Pokemon? They were delivered to Kyle's house, so he gets the first pick.'

'Seems fair. Ok, Kyle, you go first and take a peek at the box.'

I pressed X, opening the menu, and saved the game before walking up to the box and pressing A.

'Kyle opened the gift box!'

There was a note inside, overlayed with text. "I've brought three Pokemon, one for you and each of your friends. Settle your choices politely. Enjoy your Pokemon! -Professor Juniper"

And a magnificent opening animation played, revealing the inside of the box. There were three red and white Pokeballs there, with the sprites of the Pokemon on the top screen. I pressed on the right Pokeball, and tapped 'Pick this one!'.

'Is this the Pokeemon you want?' it read.

Yes, of course I wanted Oshawott! I pressed yes and the text box read 'Kyle chose Oshawott!'

Thank you game. As if I didn't know which Pokeball I chose.

'I call this Pokeemon. Cheren, that one's yours!'

'Hey! No fair! How come Bianca gets to choose my Pokemon? Oh well. I wanted Snivy from the start anyway.'

Bianca seemed excited. 'Everyone has a Pokemon! ...So that's that! Hey, I know! Let's have a Pokemon battle!'

Cheren pointed out that 'You shouldn't have a Pokemon battle inside a house.'

'Don't be a worrywart! These are weak, like you said. We have to let them battle. It's settled, Kyle!'

And some awesome battle music started playing, and two bands of red and blue collided on the screen, showing a close-up of my and Bianca's sprite, with a VS in between.

'You are challenged by PKMN trainer Bianca! Bianca sent out Tepig! Go, Oshawott!' the text box said.

After noting that the Pokemon moved instead of just staying still, I pressed fight and then Tackle.

'The foe's Tepig used tackle! Oshawott used Tackle!' read the text box. This went on for several turns, as I kept on Tackling Tepig until he fainted. "The Pokemon both did their best!" said Bianca upon being defeated.

And then the room got destroyed.

There were footprints everywhere, the bed was unkempt, and the room was practically turned upside down.

'Wow... Kyle, you're gonna be an awesome trainer someday, I can tell! No doubt!' Er, thanks Bianca, I thought. Haven't you noticed how you trashed my room?

Cheren sure did. 'Uh... ... Bianca, would you take a look around?'

'Wh-whoa! What happened? Pokemon are amaaaaaazing! So little, but so strong!' What? No offers to clean my room? At least an apology.

'...Oh. Um, sorry about your room, Kyle.'

"You... are completely hopeless. I'll restore your Pokemon for you." 'Cheren healed Bianca's Pokemon!' "Kyle's Pokemon needs to be fixed up too." 'Cheren healed Kyle's Pokemon!' read the text box, alternating between narration and dialogue.

Bianca jumped twice. 'Hey, Cheren! How about you battle, too? With all you know, I'm sure we can battle without turning the room into a disaster area like I did!'

I let out another laugh at that.

Cheren looked back again. 'Seriously, anybody else hearing a laugh coming from there?'

After a short pause, he turned back to face Bianca. 'I believe you're right. It should be easy for me to keep the room for getting any messier. Besides, it's not fair if you two are the only ones to have fun battling!'

He turned to face me and said 'It's decided. You'll be my opponent, in our first Pokemon battle!'

And now he battles me too?

'You are challenged by PKMN trainer Cheren! Cheren sent out Snivy! Go, Oshawott!' the textbox read, as the opening got repeated with Cheren's closeup.

I just kept Tackling Snivy until he fainted, and I got the message that 'Oshawott grew to Lv.6!' 'Kyle got $500 for winning!'

Upon defeat, Cheren said 'I made a strange blunder in my first battle, but this feeling I have... I'm finally a trainer. But first, we'd better apologize to your mother about your room.'

And with that, he walked down the stairs.

'Oh! I'd better come too!'

Finally, a chance to save. I did so again, but this time a thought nagged at me. Why had Cheren, in the game, heard me laughing?


	2. Pokedex get!

Chapter 2: Pokedex get!

Downstairs, Cheren and Bianca were explaining to 'my mom' why my room was now obliterated.

'Cleaning up? No worries. I'll take care of it later.' She reassured the two… tweens?

'Besides, shouldn't you be on your way to Professor Juniper?' What, to thank her or something?

'Yes, thank you! Please excuse us. I'll be waiting in front of the lab.'

Bianca perked up (with a little exclamation mark appearing over her head) and said 'Oh! Wait! I've Gotta go home first. Thanks for having us over!'

And with that, Cheren and Bianca rushed out of the room.

Mom walked up to me and remarked upon Pokemon battles, reminders of battles, and then healed my Apricot.

'Your Pokemon is looking great! Oh, and if you're going out, don't forget your Xtranciever!'

'Kyle obtained the Xtransciever!' read the text box.

'You're going to thank the professor too? Better get going!'

Several little blue fuzzballs with wings flew off as I stepped outside, adding a nice little touch.

I headed down to Bianca's house, as dictated by the mailbox. I didn't get why the mailbox would only read one member of the family's name, but I pushed it aside as I pressed up to head in.

Inside, a person who I assumed to be Bianca's dad did NOT want Bianca to go on a Pokemon adventure, yelling at her. When she noticed me, she ran out the door and to the lab.

I walked up to Cheren and he did…nothing? That was, until I pressed A on him, and then we all walked into the lab.

Juniper was waiting for us.

'Hi there! I've been waiting for you! Let me introduce myself again...'

Cheren pointed out that her name was Juniper, and she sPoke on about how she researched Pokemon. Apparently our Pokemon trusted us a little as well, and then she let us give our Pokemon a nickname. I hit Yes by accident, and typed out Apricot to rectify my mistake.

Then explained about Pokedexes which recorded info about Pokemon. The point being, she asked if we would go to complete the Pokedex. Just to see what would happen, I pressed no.

And she asked me again. And again and again until I said yes. She just wouldn't take no for an answer, would she?

So then we all got a Pokedex.

'You got a Pokedex!' read the annoying narrating text box.

Then she asked us to meet her at route 1 to see how to catch a Pokemon.

'S-since the professor asked us, it's OK to go on an adventure, right? I think I'd like that.'

'Of course. We can travel however we want as we complete the Pokedex.'

So was Bianca going to disobey her parents? Wow...

Everyone walked out of the lab, so I saved once more and walked off to route 1. Or at least, tried to. 'Mom' intercepted me and gave us all Town Maps. Self-explanatory: Maps of the region.

THEN I walked off to Route 1.

**A/N: Looking back, this was my shortest chapter at less than 500 words. It didn't really contain any action, but it's setting up for it. All this setup will pay off in the next chapter….**


	3. Communication

Chapter 3: Communication

Bianca wanted us all to take the first step at the same time, so we all did that, and then the Professor used her chinchilla-like Miccinco to catch a Patrat, a little rat, to teach us about catching Pokemon.

Ok, just give me some Pokeballs and let me go off, I thought.

What happened next: She gave me some pokeballs and let me go off.

From there, I walked into the tall grass, and a Lillipup appeared. Oshawott used Tackle twice, taking a Leer, and fainted it easily.

I walked through more grass and another Lillipup appeared, and this time used tackle. When it hit, a little text box popped up with the text 'Oshawott: Ow!'

I said "Huh?" at that. Was Oshawott talking?

Another text box popped up. 'Oshawott: What do you mean huh? Am I not supposed to say ow when I get hit?'

Did the game just hear me say huh?

As an idiotic test, I said "Can you hear me?" and another text box popped up. It read: 'Oshawott: Yes I can hear you. It's not like I'm deaf or anything.'

So now I was talking with a virtual character in my DS.

I closed my eyes, rubbed them, and opened them again. The message was still there. I closed my DS and re-opened it again. That was just weird.

"So now somehow I can talk to a video game?" I said out loud. It still sounded crazy.

'Oshawott: Am I in a video game?'

"Well YES!"

'Oshawott: Oh... '

This was the weirdest glitch, or whatever it was, that I had ever seen, and I just had to check it out. I got on the computer and, ignoring Oshawott's comments, looked online to see if anything like what I was experiencing has happened before.

Unfortunately, I didn't find anything, so I went back on the DS. It felt kind of weird talking to a DS, but I apologized for being away.

'Oshawott: It's OK, but I'm kind of getting bored staring at that Lillipup. Can you just press an attack?'

This kind of struck me as odd. "You can't do it yourself?"

'Oshawott: I've never actually thought to to that.'

Oshawott used Tackle, and fainted the Lillipup, ending the battle.

On the overworld again, I said "Can you hear me when you're not in a battle?"

'Oshawott: Yeah, I can hear you. You know, you should probably catch another Pokemon.'

I stepped into tall grass and a Lillipup level 4 popped out.

"That work for you?"

Oshawott pounded the Lillipup three times, lowering the health, and then I threw a Pokeball.

Luckily, it caught the Lillipup without me having to throw another ball.

"Hey Lillipup, can you hear me as well?"

'Lillipup: Uh... Yeah... Though it's a bit scary having a voice out of nowhere... '

"Do you mind being with me?"

'Lillipup: Uh... not really...I wanted to come with you, that's why I attacked you. Though being in a ball thing scares me...It's so dark... can I come out?'

That was a question I wasn't expecting.

"Uh, sure. I don't know how to let you out so I guess come out. But let me save first."

As I saved, a brown sprite appeared behind me: Lillipup.

'Lillipup: It feels so nice to be out...'

I walked forward and found out that both Cheren and Bianca both caught a Pokemon on the route, so we all tied for the contest. Oh well.

And then the Xtransciever rang.

**A/N: So there! Kyle's going to be playing through the game with talking Pokemon. What can go wrong?**

***Oshawott peeks through the hole in the fourth wall.* 'You mean I can talk now? YAY! '**

**...yeah.**

**I**

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	4. Pulling Pranks

Chapter 4 Pulling Pranks

The images on the Xtransciever looked pretty cool, being full-body sprites. The professor told us that she was in front of the Pokemon center, so guess where I went.

To a little house on a hill that looked interesting.

It turned out that it contained two musicians that played their instruments when I talked to them (Oshawott wanted to play the drums, but they wouldn't budge from their position) and the music brightened up quite a bit, to Lillipup's delight.

THEN I went to the Pokemon center.

Juniper showed me how to heal my Pokemon, which was talking to a lady. Easy!

'Hello and welcome to the Pokemon center. We can heal your Pokemon. Would you like to heal your Pokemon?' the nurse asked.

Of course I wanted to!

'Here, I'll take your Pokemon for a few seconds.'

'Oshawott: Finally! It hurts to be hurt! Heal me!'

I laughed at that, and five seconds later, my Pokemon were healed. But no, Juniper wanted more. She explained that in Black (and white), the Pokemart, or store, was inside the Pokemon center. Then she said to meet this 'Fennel' at Striaton City. Fennel? What a weird name.

When I came out of the Pokemon center, to quote a random stranger, 'something's going on in the plaza!'

I walked over and there was a large group of people. I couldn't see what they were looking at due to the screen's width, but I had a feeling that in a few seconds I would.

'Lillipup: Big crowds are scary... I think I'll go back in my Pokeball.'

"Ok, sure." I replied, eyeing the group.

Cheren spotted me and said 'Kyle, come here a sec.'. We walked over, and I could see what everyone was looking at: A bunch of guys in blue hoods, with P flags set up around the area. One guy with a brown robe was standing towards the crowd.

'My name is Ghetsis. I am here representing Team Plasma,' he began.

Plasma... I like the sound of that. We have the evil team this early in the game?

"What do you think of him?" I asked my Pokemon.

'Oshawott: He gives me the creeps.'

'Lillipup: His music gives me the creeps! Just mash the A button!'

"What?"

'Lillipup: Nothing.'

"Ooohkaay… Let's just see what he has to say." I said.

Ghetsis continued on, oblivious to me not pressing A to continue his speech. 'Today, I would like to talk to you about Pokemon liberation.'

That drew 'Huh?'s and 'What?'s from the audience, in little mini-text boxes.

'I'm sure most of you believe that we humans and Pokemon are partners and we have come to live together because we want and need each other. However... is that really the truth? Have you ever considered that perhaps we humans only assume this is the truth?'

He rambled on about how Pokemon get hurt in battles, and then asked if anyone can say for sure that what he said was false.

I said "Me!".

Apparently I said it a bit too loudly, as Ghetsis turned to face the screen and said 'Who said that? Who opposes Team Plasma?'

Seeing the opportunity for a practical joke, I said "It is I, the ruler of this world. Team plasma is an evil group, and you think you can sway innocent people with your lies? Stop the speech or else."

Ghetsis was apparently unconvinced. 'How do I know you even have power? You could be a ventroliquist.'

I smiled, though Ghetsis couldn't see it, and said "Could a ventroliquist do this?"

And I lowered the brightness on the DS.

Ghetsis looked around him, and left with a 'Farewell.', taking the P signs with him.

Luckily, he didn't hear my laughter.

The crowd dispersed after that, except for one person, also with green hair.

'Oshawott: Did you do that?'

"Well yeah! It was really funny!" I replied with a smile.

'Oshawott: Sticking with you is going to be fun, I can tell!'

Then the guy came over to me.

"Your Pokemon... Just now it was saying..."

'Oshawott: He can hear me?'

Cheren was confused. 'Slow down, you talk too fast. And what was that about Pokemon talking?'

The person just said 'Oh. Then you two can't hear them either. How sad. My name is N.'

Who names a child N?

Cheren perked up, and explained that he was Cheren and that I was Kyle. He also explained that we were sent to complete the Pokedex.

'The Pokedex? You will need to confine a lot of Pokemon in Pokeballs for that.' He said. ' I'm a trainer too, but I can't help wondering... Are Pokemon happy that way?'

'Oshawott: Well YES! What, are you one of those team plasma idiots?'

'You know, actually the creepy music is playing, so maybe.' I replied, totally not expecting what was next.

He walked up to me and battled me.

'You are challenged by PKMN trainer N! N sent out Purrloin! Go, Oshawott!' the textbox read.

When Oshawott tackled the Purrloin, N's blurb was 'More! More!'

"What was that about?"

'Oshawott: Is he listening to me or something?'

"Can you just beat him for me? He's kind of annoying."

'Oshawott: How about I get him down to a sliver of health and then train Lillipup?'

"Not a bad idea."

'The foe's Purrloin fainted! Lillipup grew to level 5! Oshawott grew to level 7! Oshawott learned Water gun! You beat PKMN trainer N!' read the text box, all at once. Thank you.

N rambled on a bit more and then left.

Cheren remarked, 'Huh... Strange guy. Listen, I'm going on up ahead. I want to battle the next gym leader in Striaton City. The way for trainers to grow is to battle Gym leaders.'

And then I could finally save.

'Lillipup: Can I come out again? The scary music is gone now, right?'

"Sure." I replied.

Then I saved, healed and went off to Route 2.


	5. On a run

**A/N: Yay for quick updates! Luckily the hole in the wall is all patched, and in case you're wondering, I AM playing along to this story. So it will match up with the game almost exactly. **

'**Lillipup: zzzp2 does not own Pokemon.'**

**Uh, Thanks?**

Chapter 5: Running is healthy

As soon as I took a few steps, the Xtransciever rang. It was 'Mom'! But she hung up after a few seconds.

And then she startled me by appearing right behind me!

She gave me some running shoes (in case there's any idiots reading this: they let me run). And then she went back into the town, probably to head back to the route to her house.

I just once more, switched Lillipup to the front of my party, and went in the tall grass.

'A wild Purrloin appeared! Go Lillipup!' read the text box. Lillipup used leer once (I pressed the wrong button) and then Tackled the Purrloin into oblivion, prompting the text box to appear again, saying 'Lillipup grew to level 6!'.

After the battle, I switched the moves around, and then noted that Lillipup had the Pickup ability, which meant that she would pick up items while walking around. Currently, she was holding an escape rope. "When did you find this?" I asked.

'Lillipup: In the Pokemon center, someone dropped it.'

Then another Purrloin appeared, so I tackled it twice to get Lillipup to level 7.

As I walked, though, some catchy music started playing, and a Trainer walked up to me and asked to battle.

Then other catchy music started playing. Namely, the battle music. He sent out a Patrat level 7. My own level 7 Lillipup defeated him in three tackles, and it grew to level 8 and learned bite.

'Oshawott: Hey! Train me too!'

"I will. I always have all my Pokemon at the same level, or around the same level. So you're next."

One Lillipup and one fainted Oshawott later, Lillipup was level 9.

"Sorry, Oshawott. There's a Pokemon center up ahead."

But unfortunately for Oshawott, Bianca popped up right before the entrance to the city, and insisted on battling. Lillipup ploughed through her team with a Tackle and two Bites, causing her to grow to level 10.

Oddly enough after the battle Bianca went in the opposite direction of Striaton. Where did she think she was going?

6 Patrats, a Purrloin and 2 trips to the Pokemon center later, Oshawott was at level 10 too.

"So, do you want to challenge the gym now?"

'Oshawott: Sure! What type is it?'

'Lillipup: A gym... Do I need to work out? I have weak muscles now...'

I laughed at that. "No, a gym is a really strong trainer who specializes in a specific type of Pokemon."

'Lillipup: Sure then I guess...'

I walked up to the gym, but there was a guy blocking it. "Are you looking for the Gym Leader? He could be in the Trainer's School." He said

"Ok then, let's go to the trainer's school."

I walked left until Lillipup ran over to a building.

"Are you sure that that is the school?" I asked Lillipup.

'Lillipup: The sign says Trainers' school. Do you think this is the gym or something?'

"Point taken."

I walked in and saw that Cheren was looking at the blackboard. And that there were no gym leaders here. I walked up to him, and he said that the gym leader was talking about Pokemon types, but then left. He also noted that I had Lillipup out of its Pokeball, which he thought was cool, and then promptly challenged me to a battle.

'You are challenged by PKMN Trainer Cheren! Cheren sent out Snivy! Go, Oshawott!' The text box read.

'Oshawott: He's only level 8! He needs to train.'

"Agreed. Use Tackle."

Tackle only did a little bit of damage, but then Snivy used Vine whip and took out two-thirds of Oshawott's health. Why didn't tackle ever do lots of damage?

I pressed Pokemon, then Oshawott, to see his stats, and there it was. His attack stat was 14, while his special attack was 17. Lillipup's attack was 18.

In effect, Water gun would do more damage than Tackle from Oshawott.

I sent out Lillipup, but this time Vine Whip got a critical hit, and her health was near halfway down.

I used Crunch and got Snivy into the yellow, but then his Oran berry restored health.

'Lillipup: Unfair!'

'Lillipup: Oh hey! An Oran Berry!'

Apparently Lillipup's pickup worked in battle. Cool!

'Oshawott: Who leaves perfectly good Oran berries on the ground?'

Two more Bites finished off Snivy, and two water guns fainted his Purrloin.

After that Cheren gave me some Oran berries, and turned back to the blackboard. Er, thanks?

Then I decided to save and head to the gym.

**I**

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	6. Dreams and Defeats

**A/N: When this chapter got posted, a day and a half after publishing, I had 3 reviews. It's funny how I regarded this as a major milestone…**

'**Oshawott: Pokemon isn't zzzp2's!'**

**Uh, thanks. At least you took the door this time. **

Chapter 6: Dreams and Defeats

I exited the trainer's school, Lillipup on my heels, and ran to the Pokemon center.

Once Lillipup was healed, I headed to the gym, where another green-headed guy was. I talked to him and he said, completely unprompted, "Yes, I am a Gym Leader of this town."

Wait, a? Are there more than one?

"You are...?" he continued. " Right. You want to challenge the Gym. In that case... What was the first Pokemon you chose? Oshawott... I see. It's weak against grass-type Pokemon. I think you need to prepare to face that type. Try training in the dreamyard. Excuse me now."

Then he walked into the gym, so I followed him in. I immediately got assaulted… by the awesome music. And a guy named Clyde. He gave me a Fresh Water (uh, thanks?) and then…let me go.

There was a curtain with a fire symbol on it, and things in the floor with either fire, water, and a leaf on it. I tried stepping on fire, but it made a sound like a buzzer. No.

Lillipup stepped on water, and it gave a ding before opening. So I need to step on the type that it is strong against? Yay for original gym puzzles!

I decided I might as well check out this dreamyard before the gym, so I walked out and headed up and to the right.

'Oshawott: Can I come out too?'

"Sure!" I said.

Now I had two Pokemon following me as walked into the dreamyard.

Mysterious music started playing as I walked in, so Lillipup went back into her Pokeball.

There was a young girl, who was just standing there, not moving. I snuck up behind her and pressed A...

And she immediately challenged me to a battle. Four water guns later, Oshawott was level 11 and learned water sport, a useless move for him.

'Lillipup: What does water sport do anyway?'

'Oshawott: It makes fire-type moves weaker against me. Useless.'

I continued on and a boy who said that he wanted to outperform gym leaders challenged me. He had two Ratpats and a Lillipup, and six bites later I crushed (no pun intended) his dreams.

I snuck by the third person and found an X defend, an item that increases Defense. When I tried to go back, I went in her line of sight, but she didn't battle me. Puzzled, I talked to her, and she gave me a Pansear, a fire-type monkey Pokemon. Uh, great?

"Hello, Pansear?" I tried.

...

...

"Pansear, can you hear me?"

...

...

"Oshawott, you can still hear me, right?"

'Oshawott: Yeah, I don't know why the Pansear isn't responding. I guess it's kind of sad...'

'Lillipup: I'm getting kind of bored... can we do the gym now?'

Oh yeah. "Sure!"

I walked left, out of the dreamyard, and healed up. I decided to check out Pansear's description, and guess what? He was apparently 'Hard of hearing'. Though it was kind of strange that it could still use attacks when I commanded it to...

So I saved, and set off to beat the gym.

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The Pansear was level 10, and he utterly creamed the Lillipups that the first trainer had with scratch as I continued past the fire curtain. Next was a blue water curtain.

I stepped on the grass symbol, and the curtain slid open with a ding.

Oshawott took care of the next trainer's Patrat, growing to level 12, while Lillipup wiped out the next Pokemon, a Coiner.

After going back to heal, I put Pansear in front, saved, and went to challenge the gym leader. The green-haired guy was there, and... split into three?

Nope, they were three different people, each with different colored hair. The red one was Chili, the blue water-type guy was Cress, and the green-haired guy from before' s name was Cilan.

When I battled him, more awesome music played, to Lillipup's delight.

Oshawott almost took out his Lillipup easily with water gun, but Cilan used the dreaded potion and Lillipup fainted him. MY Lillipup took him out, and I found out why I got the Pansear: he had a PanSAGE, the grass-type monkey Pokemon.

That and Lillipup noted that 'This music is AWESOME!'.

It was true, a gym leader's last Pokemon had new awesome music, a remix of the title screen from EVERY Pokemon game. The main theme of Pokemon, along with Kanto's battle music.

Fortunately, I got to listen to this for a while as I had a hard time defeating the PanSAGE because incinerate was very weak, and he fainted Pansear.

And then I blacked out for the first time.

I went back to the Pokemon center, gave an oran berry to Pansear, and headed out. I walked back to the gym, back through all the curtains, saved, and battled Cilan again. This time Oshawott managed to faint the Lillipup with a 'Take that!', growing to level 13, and I switched to Lillipup when PanSAGE came out so she could enjoy the music. Several Bites and an incinerate later, The PanSAGE had finally fainted.

'Lillipup: We won! Yay!'

Cilan gave me a 'trio badge' with a really cool animation, and also gave me a TM for work up, a move that increases both attack and special attack. Awesome!

'Lillipup: Can I learn Work up? Please?'

"Uh, OK. Why do you want to know it?"

'Lillipup: I don't really know, but it's makes my attack rise, which is good, right?'

"Uh, yeah, but you're not supposed to know that. I think."

After teaching Lillipup Work Up, I walked out the door. And saw a scientist. She got an ! over her head, walked over, and said "Hey there! I'm Fennel."


	7. Kicking is bad

**A/N: To Hawkpaw: The quick updates are mostly the work of me writing this in a text file, so I had already written chapter 5 when I first published this story. Which is how in a day and a half I have seven chapters. I will still try to update fast, though. Hopefully I can go one chapter per day, or maybe two days. **

***Insert disclaimer here***

**Chapter 7: Kicking is bad**

I followed Fennel into her house, and led me upstairs to a weird machine. Then she gave me a Hidden Machine. HM. For cut. Awesome!

But of course there was a catch; she wanted some Dream Mist from a Munna to use something called ... Game Sync...to collect save files of trainers?

*crack in fourth wall gets bigger*

Uh, Ok I guess...

I saved, healed up, taught cut to Pansear, and went to the dreamyard.

'This tree looks like it can be cut down! Would you like to cut it?'

Uh, no. I can't cut it. Pansear can. So, feeling sarcastic, I pressed no.

'Lillipup: Why no! I need some exercise!'

Lillipup came out of his pokeball, pushed me to the side, and cut the tree. 'Lillipup: And THAT is how you cut a tree.'

To sum up what happened after that:

A wild Bianca appeared! The Bianca used chat! The Bianca fled through the gap you made without thanking you!

'Oshawott: What... was that?'

"I have no idea."

'Just go through.'

As I walked through, I heard a cry. So I went through and saw... a pokemon saying muuun...

'Lillipup: I think it's a Munna.'

"Thank you, miss obvious."

'Lillipup: You're welcome.'

The Munna walked away, and so me and Bianca followed it and found two Plasma grunts and awesome music.

'Lillipup: Woah! These guys are awesome! Who has such awesome music?'

"Uh, Lillipup? They're from the evil team plasma."

'Who gave such mean people such cool music?'

"Nintendo."

They went on either side of the Munna, and demanded Dream Mist from the poor Munna.

When that didn't work, the idiotic grunts began... KICKING the Munna.

'Oshawott: That is just so... wrong. I'm going to go battle them.'

And before I could stop him, he was out of his pokeball, and using water gun on the grunts, to no avail. They just kept on kicking the Munna.

'Oshawott: Hello? There's a pokemon attacking you here! How do they ignore it?'

Oshawott continued water gunning them, and somehow made one of them send out a Patrat.

"You want to battle, stupid pokemon? Fine!"

'Oshawott: THERE we go.'

"Just water gun him." I instructed.

Two water guns, thirty seconds of epic music and one dumfounded plasma grunt later, the second grunt battled me. Once again, two water guns were enough to faint their weak pokemon.

After their loss, they resumed kicking the Munna. "Why is it that when I lose, I black out but when THEY lose..." I wondered out loud.

'Oshawott: This game makes no sense. Is it discrimination?'

And then there was a flash of light. And after that Ghetsis appeared, and told them to stop goofing off. Uh, thanks?

And then ANOTHER Ghetsis appeared, and they both reprimanded the grunts.

As soon as the grunts scurried off, the two Ghetsises disappeared, and a purple pokemon came out of some ruins.

'shaar!'

"What... was that?" I asked my pokemon.

'Oshawott: I have no idea.'

'Lillipup: That was an awesome cutscene!'

'Oshawott: How do you know what a cutscene is?'

'Lillipup: I don't know... it popped into my head... I like the word, though.'

'Oshawott: Here. Read this.'

"Guys, quit arguing."

'Oshawott: That wasn't arguing!'

Fennel popped up, explained that the second pokemon was a Musharna, and they left together, leaving a pokeball on the ground. Apparently from what Fennel said Musharna can make dreams into reality, so it did that to save Munna. "And nightmares too." I commented.

And the pokeball was dream mist! So Fennel went back to her house, and Bianca said possibly the best quote ever:

"Phew. How random was that?"

I looked around and as well as getting Lillipup to level 13, I found a poke ball and a potion. After that I headed to Fennel's house, and recieved a C gear. It seemed to be how you connect with other copies of black or white, and it filled up the bottom screen too. Awesome!

I looked up from my DS and saw that the battery was red. For those of you without DSes, red is bad. It means that something's running out. In this case, the battery.

"I'm sorry guys, but I have to go."

'Lillipup: Aww. Bye...'

'Oshawott: Bye.'

I saved, then turned off the game and went to do other stuff that's not pokemon.


	8. Flying in style

**A/N: To Jayvee: Then what happens when Oshawott uses water gun and it goes backwards due to gravity? And if Lillipup eats it?**

**And actually it's kind of comical. I have no intention of having it stop, as long as they use the door.**

'**Oshawott: What are you talking about? What is it?'**

**Nothing.  
><strong>

**Chapter 8: Flying in Style  
><strong>

I pressed A to select my file, and I was greeted with a crazy Lillipup.

'Lillipup: HINOWCANWEGOTOTHENEXTGYM?PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?'

'Oshawott: She found a rare candy, put in her mouth for too long, and now she has a sugar rush.'

You have got to be kidding me. Pokemon having sugar rushes?

'Lillipup: HEYTHERESSOMUCHSPACEOUTSIDE!RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!'

She ran around before running down the stairs, all in about 2 seconds.

"Uh… Let's make sure she doesn't get into any trouble."

I walked down the stairs… and saw footprints running out the door. And when I went out the door…

It became summer.

And also Lillipup was charging towards the left, knocking people over in her surge of Pidove. When I followed her, I found that there was a nice little fountain, and that Lillipup had finally calmed down and fainted. Oh well.

'Lillipup: YAYIGOTAPINEAPPLE!...cheeseis…yummy….'

'Lillipup fainted!' The text box read.

Oh boy. So now I had to do the route with Oshawott and Bob. Easy, right?

First, as soon as I turned left, two twins challenged me to a double battle, with one questioning whether one plus one was two. Luckily, they both had level 10 Coiners, and three water guns and a cut later, Oshawott was level 14.

Once the battle was over, I continued, and came across the day-care. However, this day-care took care of children too, apparently, as there was a playground to the left, and an extra building. Curious, I went in the building to find a girl who healed my Pokemon. Lillipup was now back in play, so I continued to the left…

"Kyle, stop!"

To find Cheren sneaking up behind be. Cheren being himself, he immediately challenged me to a battle.

'PKMN Trainer Cheren challenged you to a battle!'

Thank you, useless text box. Since Oshawott was out, I switched in Bob to counter his level 14 Snivie. He used a good combo of using Growth to boost Vine whip, but Bob Leered Snivie before hitting him with Cut twice before fainting due to a critical hit. So I switched in Lillipup, and bit the Snivie twice before it fainted.

Cheren's next Pokemon was a Coiner. I had Lillipup bite it once before remembering that Bite wasn't very effective against Dark-type Pokemon.

One leer, and two tackles later, 'Player defeated PKMN Trainer Cheren!'

After the battle, two plasma grunts immediately ran through, Bianca in tow. Oh noes, Team Plasma stole a little girl's Pokemon!

'Lillipup: You were sure right about them being evil!'

"I _told_ you so!"

Then Cheren ran off, so I saved, found a super potion, and ran into a Pidove (did I mention that the potion was in tall grass?) I figured I would need a good flying Pokemon, so two tackles and a Pokeball later: 'Gotcha! Pidove was caught!'

"Hello, Pidove? Can you hear me?"

'Pidove: Yay! Someone can talk to meee! I can't believe I'm in a Pokeball! What's a trainer like! I think it'll be fun!'

'Lillipup: He's an optimist.'

'Oshawott: It's a she.'

'Pidove: Yay! Friends! Where are they?'

'Lillipup: Hey, he said his first sentence without an exclamation point at the end if it!'

All of this happened as I walked to the second day-care house. I healed, headed left and found…

A cave with a hole in it… with Cheren standing next to it. "Are your Pokemon's HP fine? Then let's go!"

And I stepped in…

And Lillipup popped out to enjoy the epic music… coming from Team Plasma grunts. Seriously, Lillipup was right.

'Pidove! Wow! Those guys are so cool!'

"They're evil." I reminded her.

'Pidove: Oh, well it won't be so hard, right?'

She was definitely an optimist.

A bit farther in, Cheren teamed up with me for a double battle against the grunts.

With MORE epic music. With one problem: Pidove began… dancing?

'Lillipup: You need to use a move!'

In her dance, Pidove flapped her wings and used gust, without interrupting the flow of the dance at all.

"Wow." Was all I could say.

Several Leers and Bides later, I used gust… but it didn't affect special defense, so Gust did the same amount of damage. I switched into Bob, used Cut… 'It's a One-hit KO! Bob grew to level 12! Player defeated Team Plasma Grunt!'

'Pidove: See! No need to worry!'

And then more plasma grunts came, so this time we ACTUALLY did a double battle… against two Patrats.

One Patrat Bit Pidove, and a critical hit made it faint, so I brought in Lillipup. When the (metaphorical)dust had settled, Lillipup was level 14, but fainted.

The plasma guys left in an instant… somehow. Cheren went to return the Pokemon, and I almost did but…

'Lillipup: I want to explore!'

"Fine."

I explored, but only found a ghost gem, and the TM for Theif. THEN I went outside.

The girl gave me some Heal Balls as a present, which heal a caught Pokemon. However, they didn't heal already-caught Pokemon, so I healed, and went off to route 4.

And got spotted by a kid with a Blitzle. I quickly switched in Lillipup, as Pidoves are weak to electrics, and Bit it three times before it fainted and Pidove grew to level 11 and learned quick attack.

After going back to heal AGAIN, this time Cheren spotted me, explained that dark grass may have wild double battles, and noticed that Lillipup had a Repel. I took it, and 2 trainers and lots of graceful dancing later, Pidove was level 13, but I had to use my fresh water.

And that is how I arrived at Nacrene City: with a team of 3 level 14s.

And the gym leader's weakest Pokemon was level 20.


	9. The chapter where

**A/N: I put a little joke into this chapter. Some people might get it right away just from the title, which is:  
><strong>

Chapter 9: The chapter where...

I walked into the city, and Cheren was waiting for me. He walked along train tracks until he got to the pokemon center. He also gave me some Chesto berries and then left.

After healing Pidove, I decided to to talk to some of the people there. One of them was kind of odd, saying "Did you know that people with guilty consciences are startled by loud noises?"

As if on cue, a train horn sounded. From outside?

'Lillipup: That was an interesting fact... though creepy... let's get out of here.'

'Oshawott: Weren't those tracks defunct, though?'

'Lillipup: I don't know...'

"Agreed. Let's explore."

'Oshawott: When did I ever say something that was agreeable?'

I headed out of the center, went up, passed a little restaurant, and found myself in Pinwheel Forest.

A girl gave me the TM for Rock smash, and past her was a nurse doing nothing. When I talked to her she... battled me?

Pidove switched out so Lillipup could handle her Munna with Bite, winning the battle and making her heal the pokemon. Uh, thanks?

I continued until Preschooler Peabody saw me, and got freaked out about Pidove. "Aaaah! Bird! BIRD! It's EVIL!"

She sent out her Cottonee, a piece of cotton with a face and wings, but two Leers and two quick attacks later, it fainted. Her Petilil fell prey to a similar combo, and when the battle was over, Pidove was level 14.

"THE BIRD! ATLAS! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

Another preschooler, Atlas I assumed, came over and actually managed to faint Pidove with a Rock Blast from his Roggenrola, a rock with a shoe on it and two feet, but a Water Gun eliminated it.

"Uh, that was weird."

'Lillipup: Agreed.'

'Oshawott: Who hates birds?'

'Pidove:...discrimination...'

"Guys, let's train a bit now."

I went back to the nurse, who healed me again.

3 Pokemon later, Pidove was level 15 and knew Air Cutter. And was battling a Sawk.  
>Sawk is a strong fighting-type pokemon that I wanted to catch.<p>

"Pidove, try and not be too hard on it. I want to catch it."

Luckily, one Air Cutter barely left the Sawk from fainting.

'Dewott: I've got it! It's a ghost train!'

'Lillipup: ...'

Except that the Sawk used Rock smash, broke from the pokeball I threw, and Rock Smashed Pidove into fainting.

'Pidove: Why...me...'

After healing, I tried to go back in the tall grass, but a trainer interrupted me with his Tympole, which fainted Pidove. So I sent in Lillipup, who became level 15, and went off to heal Pidove AGAIN.

This time I headed into the dark grass, and found a Super Potion. Then, I got into a double battle with a Tymburr and a Sawk.

'Pidove: Oh, it's _you_.'

'Wild Tymburr: Sawk, you know her?'

'Pidove: It's been some time. How have you been?'

'Pidove: I've been busy being knocked out. You know, after you FAINTED me'

'Wild Tymburr: You did what?'

"Pidove, stop it."

I couldn't stop her as she pummeled the Sawk into oblivion, and Lillipup got the Tymburr, growing to level 16.

"Pidove, that was pretty mean."

'Pidove: I couldn't help it!'

'Oshawott: You know, the wild Tymburr was talking... I thought only your pokemon could.'

"I don't know, but it was kind of funny."

After the battle, I expected to see the overworld again, but I saw Lillipup in an orange tube. "Lillipup, what's going on?"

'Lillipup: I think I'm evolving!"

Useless text box: 'What? Lillipup is evolving!'

"Do you even want to evolve?"

'Lillipup: Of course I do! Press A already! And whatever you do, DON'T PRESS THE B BUTTON!'

'Oshawott: Are you always making fun of stuff?'

I didn't give Lillipup a chance to respond, and pressed the A button. Lillipup's body got cut into strips, swirled around, and got reconstructed in flashes of light, all while epic music played.

'Lilli-dier: This is AWESOME!'

Lillipup's new body got reconstructed, and in a flash of light, revealed a new body.

'Herdier: Yay! I'm a Herdier! Who do I herd?'

I facepalmed before answering "It's a name. Not a title."

'Pidove: _Lucky_! When can I evolve?'

'A wild Logarr appeared!'

"As soon as you faint this Logarr." I answered with a smile.

Two air cutters later, Pidove was level 16, but no evolution occured.

'Oshawott: My turn!'

I switched him into the front of the party, and a couple of pokemon later (including one level 17 Sawk that came back for revenge) Oshawott was level 17, learned razor shell, and what? Oshawott was evolving!

'Oshawott: Take that, Pidove!'

'Dewott: Yay! I have TWO shells now!'

Clap...Clap...Clap...

'Dewott: At least I can still clap slowly in this body.'

Clap...Clap...Clap...

'Herdier: Stop it for Arceus or Reshiram or I have no clue who's sake!'

'Pidove: Let's go with Reshira for now. But can I PLEASE evolve?'

"Yes, you can. Let me save, though."

So I saved, and then set off to get Pidove to evolve too.

**'Herdier: You know, Dewott, there was a lot of portal references in that chapter.'**

**'Dewott: Oh no. This was the part with a lot of portal references?'  
><strong>

**Hello! This is the chapter where there's a lot of portal references.** **Did you like it? Oh, and a fun fact: the real name for this chapter is:  
><strong>

** Chapter 9: The part where there's a lot of portal references**

**And this is that part. Don't forget to review! (And should I do more silly crossover chapters?)  
><strong>


	10. Interlude: Communication error

**A/N: Finally here! If you have talking Pokemon in a game, and you have someone else who has a REGULAR copy of the game, and you try to hide it, what happens? Hilarity! And with that I give you my wittiest chapter title yet:**

Interlude: Communication Error

"Ok, guys? You listening?" I whispered to my DS in the car.

'Pidove: Yeah.'

'Herdier: Yeah.'

'Dewott: Nope. I'm not listening.'

'Pidove: How did you respond to it if you didn't hear him?'

'Dewott: …'

"I'm taking that as three yeses. I'm going to have a playdate with my friend, that also has Pokemon white. But I don't want him to know that you guys talk."

'Pidove: Why not?'

"Because he'd probably freak out. So I want you all to stay quiet. Don't talk. I know it's hard, but I'd like to keep my friend sane for now."

'Dewott: Uh, sure.'

'Herdier: Wait, so we're going to have battles and not be able to talk with you? Awww…'

'Pidove: Yep! And I can't wait!'

"Well, I'm arriving now. Bye." I said as the car pulled up to Noah's house. I quickly slipped the DS into its case as it pulled up to the driveway. I jumped out, waved bye to my mom, and knocked on the door. Ok, more like thumped on the door until it opened.

Noah greeted me at the door with a "Hi Kyle!"

"Hi! How's it going!" I replied as I took my shoes off.

"Pretty good. " I replied. "And you?"

"Good. But knowing you, you probably want to play Pokemon right now, huh?"

"Yeah. You know me too well." I said as we raced up the stairs to Noah's room. It was a medium-sized room, with a desk right near the door, a bunk bed, and some drawers. I took my DS from the case, and Noah got out his DS from the shelf, and we both sat on the bed. "So, where are you in the game?" I asked.

"I'm training for the second gym."

"No way! Me too! I call a battle!"

Noah gave me an evil smile. "Oh, you're on! C gear… IR battle. There."

"No union room?" I asked.

"Actually, no. You can have battles over the C gear. Tap IR, then battle. Single, then put your DS like this. And then you battle!"

I was right, the C gear WAS how you connect with other games. I saved, and then we positioned the DSs with their cartridges facing each other, and then… 'PKMN Trainer Noah wants to battle! Noah sent out Sawk! Go, Dewott!'

"Ok, let's just try and win."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing."

Noah's Sawk was level 17, but Dewott used Razor shell twice , which fainted it, but not without Double Kick doing a sizeable amount of damage. His Ratpat Detected my first Razor Shell, and then Crunched Dewott into fainting. Herdier fainted the Ratpat, and the battle went pretty much the same way, one Pokemon fainting, then a switched-in Pokemon fainting the opponent, and at the end Noah won because he had 5 Pokemon to my 4.

"Ok, now that I've pwned you in Pokemon, can I pwn you in braw?"

"Not if I pwn you first!" I said as we raced downstairs.

An hour of of brawling, skateboarding on crates, brawling and general epicness later, we went back on the DSs.

"By the way, I've got a little surprise for you." Noah answered with his evil grin.

"What?" I asked, but got my answer when a person ran by me, IN THE GAME. My first thought was that 'The Glitch' had gotten weirder, but that was proved false when Noah explained that in the 'entralink' whatever that was, you could go INTO other people's games. So we played tag, did some missions in the entralink, and then the subject of trade came up.

"No thanks, I only have four Pokemon, and I think none of them would want t-" I stopped myself ,but unfortunately Noah heard it. If I hadn't stopped it, it probably would have been good, but I just had to stop.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You said want? Since when do Pokemon want?"

"Nothing."

Noah looked at me quizzically. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just…" I hesitated, wondering whether to tell him or not. Then I thought of something. A smile crossed my face, and I said "I'll tell you…if you beat me in another battle."

"And if I win, do I get cake, too? But fine. You're on!"

'PKMN Trainer Noah wants to battle! Noah sent out Sawk! Go, Dewott!' Thank you text box.

**Since I'm lazy, and I want to actually get this updated, the battle went pretty much the same as the last one. Except for when it was at the last Pokemon, Bob vs Ratpat…**

It was Bob vs. Ratpat. I pressed Cut, and watched as it got decimated by a Crunch by Ratpat.

'Bob: Oh, for Arceus's sake! Why do I keep getting hurt?' Appeared on my DS.

Uh, what? Did _Bob_ talk?

'Bob: Stupid Ratpat! Die!' 'Bob spontaneously learned Flamethrower! Bob used Flamethrower! The foe's Ratpat fainted! Bob forgot Flamethrower! You won against PKMN trainer Noah! Bob somehow fainted as punishment for breaking the laws of the game!'

Oops. Bob must not have heard my warning. And because of that, Noah was staring at me with the most shocked expression ever.

"Did… you see that too? The text box thing with Bob?" He asked me.

I chuckled. "Oops. And yes. Well… the thing I wanted to tell you was that my Pokemon can talk."

Noah stared at me like I was crazy. So I decided to show him. "Uh, guys? Can you say something?"

The DS remained textbox-free.

"And now my friend thinks I'm an idiot for talking to a DS." I muttered.

'Herdier: Seriously? Is that odd or something? Oh darn. I lost the contest.' Appeared. Noah was currently feeling a mix of 'That is cool' and 'What the..?'. So he decided to speak, but nothing came out.

"…"

"It's cool, yes. What is it?"

"… It's just…" He shook his head. "It's funny, that's all. I was just thinking that it would be cool to have Pokemon talk, and look what happened."

"You're taking this pretty well."

"Well, you can either freak out about something, or you can accept it. Anyway, can your Pokemon hear me now?"

'Dewott: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE'RE DEAF OR SOMETHING?'

'Pidove: He's the second person you ever met. Does that count as everyone?'

'Dewott: Of course it does!'

While Dewott and Pidove had their argument, I first had Herdier figure out a way to talk with Panseaar, and then I filled in Noah on what happened in my game. We talked with them for a bit, Noah thinking that this was totally awesome, and then the clock said 12:20.

"You know, you have to go soon. Uh, Kyle's Pokemon?"

'Herdier: Yes?'

'Dewott: Yes?'

'Pidove: Hey! You interrupted my banana eating! I was almost done! Now I have to start all over!'

Luckily, Noah didn't see that last one. He addressed me this time. "So… can you maybe… teach my Pokemon to talk somehow? It would be kind of cool."

'Herdier: Uh… Then battle again so I can talk to them.'

'Dewott: You really think you can do this?'

'Herdier: Not at all.'

We battled again, and Herdier did… something (that's the best I could describe it). Noah's DS was going crazy with messages; 'Cyrogenics module installed! Commencing audio valve! Shutting off neurotoxin!'

'Pidove: Herdier, are you obsessed with portal or something? And WTF IS HAPPENING?'

The messages continued. 'Auxillatory ranting subsided! Lemon fires extinguished! Computer hampsters finally located! Triforce merged into Quadforce! Bubble wrap confiscated! Personality core loaded! Third wall repaired! Fourth wall beyond repair! Engaging personality version negative pi! Dividing by zero! System operational! Thank you for downloading this software. Commencing in 5...4...3…1…6…19…ten million… 9,999,999,999…-1… 0!'

'Dewott Hey! Last time it was negative seventeen! ...nah, I've got no idea what the heck that was.'

"Well, that was random." I commented.

'Sawk: I feel… different… OHMYGODIJUSTTALKED!'

"And there you have it… somehow. What DID you do, Herdier?" I asked.

'Herdier: I'm not really sure. I went over and said hi, and then the battle ended, static appeared, and Sawk flashed and disappeared.'

"Well, thanks, Herdier. Wow, that sounds weird thanking a virtual character. And yes, Sawk, you did talk."

A voice floated up the stairs. "Kyle? We need to go!"

I left with a quick "bye" and headed downstairs. Noah remained up in his room, trying to explain to his Sawk that he _could_ now talk, his name was Noah and not Banana, and the concept of quantum mechanics. He was nerdy that way.

** Oh, and Hawkpaw? If I can somehow get a Pokemon out of the fourth wall room, I'll see if I can convince him to teach Shui Jun to talk. If the game doesn't break by having a future gen Pokemon in it.  
><strong>

**I**

**\|/  
><strong>


	11. Trials and Training

**A/N: So, back to regular chapters now. And we finally finish up training!**

**Chapter 11: Trials and Training**

"Ok guys, let's go back to training."

'Pidove: Yay! Training! And I can finally evolve!'

'Herdier: Yay.'

'Dewott: Oh boy.'

Obviously they weren't very excited.

"Guys, do you want to beat the gym or no?"

'A wild Tympole appeared!'

'Herdier: Where the *BEEP* did that come from?'

Pidove got fainted, so Pansear got to get some experience.

As I was running back to the Nurse, I had a battle out of nowhere… with an Audino! Three Razor Shells later, Dewott was level 18.

After defeating a trainer's Venipede and Sewaddle, Pidove was level 17, but there was still no evolution, to her dismay.

Another Audino appeared out of the blue, and though Pidove got it into the red, its Doubleslap was too much for Pidove to handle, so Herdier got to level up instead.

'Pidove: Seriously, I need to get my defense up. WHY DO I KEEP FAINTING! IF I FAINT BEFORE LEVELInG UP AGAIN…..Uh, I'll be fainted I guess? No… Yeah! THEN I'LL LEAVE THE TEAM!'

'Herdier: Really?'

I sighed. "Pidove, if you don't leave the team, you get cake."

'Pidove: Cake? Awesome! I'm staying!'

'Herdier: _…'_

'Dewott:... I really didn't think that would work.'

"Me neither, but let's level up Pidove. Once she evolves, let's tackle the gym."

'Dewott: Sounds good.'

Three timburrs were not enough to get Pidove to level 18, so I stepped in the tall grass –

'Pidove: Oh, not that Sawk again!'

Yes, 'that Sawk' had come once again.

Pidove kept using air cutter, and Dewott's Razor Shell managed to _finally _get Pidove to level 18, at the expense of Dewott fainting.

'Dewott: But as long as she shuts up after evolving I'm OK with fainting.'

…Except that after the battle I was greeted with the overworld.

'Pidove: WHAT? WHEN WILL I EVOLVE?'

"Pidove, I'm going to look it up. Try not to faint everyone with your complaining while I'm gone."

I went on the computer, and found that Pidove evolved at level… 21.

"So much for evolving soon" I commented after explaining the situation to Pidove.

'Herdier: Can we just go the gym already?'

On my way to the Nurse, the grass shook, and when I stepped in it an Audino popped out. I ran into THREE Audinos total, which got Pidove and Herdier to level 19.

So I healed up, ran around and found a fourth Audino to get Dewott to level 19 too, went back into the city, and explored the city.

From the forest I passed the café, and then headed down into two houses.

From there I got a Mystic water, which raises the power of water type moves like Dewott's already powerful Razor Shell. After giving that to Dewott, I continued looking around, but the only other places of interest were a museum and a girl who wanted to trade a Cottonee for a Petlil. So I headed into the museum.

And that guy N popped out of the door, and battled me out of the blue.

'Dewott: WHAT IS WITH HIS CREEPYNESS!'

'Herdier: Stalker. He stalks you.'

'Pidove: Is that a level 13 pidove! He hasn't trained at all!'

I sent in Pidove, who easily took out the Pidove. Herdier fainted his Tympole with one Bite, and his Timburr was the same low level as everyone else.

He talked about saving the world, power to change the world, and that being Zekrom, whatever that is.

His next sentence explained that Zekrom was a legendary, and then he left.

'Pidove: He ALWAYS gives me the creeps!'

'Pansear: I don't like him.'

Oh yeah, Pansear. I had almost forgotten yesterday.

"Herdier, can you talk with pansear? Tell him to say yes."

A few seconds passed before 'Pansear: What? Kyle WANTS? He can talk to us?' appeared.

By now I was in the pokemon center.

'Herdier: Well yeah! You know, what you need is a hearing aid.'

'Pansear: What's that?'

Everyone was healed up, so I went to the pokemart and bought two Super potions and a few great balls, just in case. The other guy that was there sold Heal balls, mail, and at the bottom, an 'Amplifier'.

"You have got to be kidding." I voiced out loud.

'Dewott: The glitch is kind of cool at times.'

"The glitch, huh. Good name. "

I bought one, gave it to Pansear, and then said "Can you hear me?"

'Pansear: Oh wow! This thing actually worked!'

'Pidove: Yeah. So now we're off to see the gym leader, the wonderful gym leader of nacrene city…'

I ignored Pidove's failed Wizard of Oz parody, and everyone else's protests, and walked into the gym to find…

A guy staring at a skeleton of a Dragonite. He immediately spotted me, and gave me a tour.

Although somehow he hadn't seen a Dragonite, so it was referred to as 'a Dragon-type pokemon'. There was also a Deoxys meteorite, and 'an ordinary old stone' found near the desert. They only displayed it because it's pretty to look at! Now, why would Game Freak even display it if it was just an ordinary rock?

'Pidove: why would the guys who made the game call attention to it it if it was just an ordinary rock?

"I have no idea."

'Pansear: Maybe it's not ordinary?'

The man interrupted our conversation with the last part of the tour. It was in back… which was actually the gym! And he was the gym leader's wife! So I stepped inside…

And got transported to the next chapter.

**A/N: I couldn't help the cake thing. It should have been in chapter 9, but Pidove was actually behaving then. So for now, cliffhanger! And Pansear speaking: His Amplifier is an item, so it might get stolen by Theif, or run out of battery and get used up, and then he won't be able to hear Kyle. **

**I**

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	12. Reading is the way

**Chapter 12: Reading is the way**

I entered the gym…

To find a library. What?

'Pidove: Who makes a gym a library?'

'Pansear: Maybe the gym leader needed a library in the museum, so somehow she made it into a puzzle for the gym. Wow, that's kind of a stretch.'

'Herdier: How do you come up with these ideas?'

'Pansear: How come you're so critical of me?'

As soon as I stepped forward, the white-haired guy from the last gym (how was he here too?) stepped up to me, and gave me another fresh water. He also explained that if you answer questions hidden in books, you can move forward. The first book was 'Nice to meet you, Pokemon!'

I took the time to have Herdier learn Rock Smash instead of Leer, and then immediately caught the eye of a trainer… with a Patrat. Seriously?

I switched out Dewott for Herdier and fainted it, and then switched Pansear into the front of the party to train.

The guy who I battled told me that the books for children were at the front of the gym, so I stepped on the ladder to the right… and found the book 'Sweets for pokemon'. Nope, not that one.

The left one _was _what I was looking for. It was about a boy who meets a pokemon for the first time in his life.

Inside the book was a secret note from Lenora. She hid four memos in the books. Each one had a question. This one's was "What was the first pokemon you met in this gym?" She also hinted that it was in the middle row.

'Pansear: If she had to make a gym out of a library, this is a pretty good way to do it.'

'Herdier: You know, something's been bothering me. Where's the music coming from?'

Dewott came out of his pokeball and pointed to the wall.

'Dewott: There's a speaker. That solve your problem?'

The next book I tried was the middle row, left shelf. The book there was 'The Biology of Patrat'. I found out that Patrat communicate by moving their tails, and that there was another note. The second question was "Flame burns inside its body, and it gives off smoke from its head while it runs… what is this book"

'Dewott: Tepig?'

'Herdier: Trains?'

'Pidove: Eggs?'

'Pansear: …Really, Pidove?'

The hint was that someone might be reading it.

I checked out the back row, and there was a scientist on a ladder. I accidentally pressed A on one of the other bookshelves, and found out that there was books you could read there!

I took a little detour, reading about Snivys, Oshawotts (did you know their shell grows from their belly button?), how to give a potion to a mischevious pokemon, connect-the-dots pokemon pictures, and more before returning to the scientist and talking to her. She was reading 'structure of a locomotive'.

But of course, before stepping off the ladder, she challenged me to a battle with her Herdier, which MY Herdier fainted easily, growing to level 20. I switched Dewott into the front of my party, and then stepped up to read the book.

The note inside this book was "If you heat it up in a pot, it'll be delicious. What is this?" With a hint of that it's in a bookshelf closer to the entrance then here, which makes no sense because the book was on the last shelf.

I went to the middle shelf, and talked to the girl there, but the book there was about Tepig. The only other book was the aforementioned "sweets for pokemon". It described Poffins (Insert nostalgia here), and yes, there was a note! The hind was a series of movements, but I kept getting lost.

'Pansear: What, really? Use logic? The only shelf left is the tepig one!'

"Thank you, Pansear, for taking all the fun out of that last part." I muttered, and went to the girl. "Can you challenge the gym leader if you win against me?"

I pressed yes… and she attacked me with her Lillipup, Lillipup, and Lillipup (And they were all at level 15. Triplets?) Dewott fainted them, growing to level 20.

In the book, there was a hidden switch, which moved the entire bookshelf aside, revealing…

'Wow! A hidden staircase!' Read the text box.

'Pidove: Wow! A hidden staircase!'

'Dewott: …'

'Herdier: …'

I ran out of the gym, healed, saved, and went down the staircase. There, was the gym leader, Lenora.

'Pidove: Well, how hard can she be?'

Her first pokemon was a Herdier level 8. I switched Pansear to Pidove, so Herdier's Leer would have no effect because of Pidove's ability. Well, there was one flaw in my battle plan. Herdier knew Take down, and it took out three quarters of Pidove's HP. One more hit and Pidove fainted.

'Pansear: Pretty hard.'

I sent out Dewott and Razor shelled the Herdier into fainting. Then I sent out MY Herdier so she could enjoy the epic music.

'Herdier: Oh yeah! Though I kind of want to wait so that I can listen to more of the music…'

'Pansear: What music?'

'Dewott: …'

'Pidove: …'

'Pansear: Hey, there's a volume thing… if I turn it up…'

'The amplifier is on full blast! The amplifier used Screech! Pansear fainted!'

'Pansear: why… is it… that every time… I try something…new… I faint…'

Meanwhile, two Rock Smashes had gotten Watchog into the red, but then the unthinkable happened.

'Pidove: No! A super potion! We're all doomed! We must run around in circles!'

'Pansear: Super Pidove Randomness, coming to a gym near you.'

A retaliate later, Herdier fainted. Dewott was sent in.

'Pidove: See! I Told you! We're all going to DIE!'

However, a Razor shell later, Dewott was level 21 and the battle was over.

'Dewott: No, you've got it wrong. The enemy pokemon are all going to die.'

I got a TM for retaliate, but then the scientist came in, interrupting her speech.

"Come quickly! Team Plasma is threatening to steal some bones!"

So we all went into the main part of the museum, and, like he said, Team plasma had stolen the head of the Dragonite! So after a little talk, I got a Dowsing machine from Bianca, and then I ran after them, along with a Brown-haired guy named Burgh, into Pinwheel forest.

'Pidove: Hey, wait a minute! I just realized something! I never got my cake!'

Oh darn.

**A/N: So there! Chapter 12! As usual review, and really that's all I have to say.**


	13. Pinwheeling into trouble

**A/N: To recap: Kyle's stuck running after team plasma idiots who stole a skull while trying to explain to a freaked out Pidove that there will be cake LATER. Huh, shouldn't be too hard.**

**And by the way, sorry for the late update. I had a lengthy explanation, but it got deleted.**

**Chapter 13: Pinwheeling into Trouble**

I ran to the left, passing the café, and found Burgh, who explained that this was Pinwheel forest, in case some idiot playing didn't know. I had the nurse heal me, and then ran off into the thick of the woods.

Cue Herdier's favorite Plasma music.

I stepped in, and found a path upwards and a path to the left. Burgh explained that there are two ways out of the forest: "the straight path, and the path that winds through the woods."

'Pidove: Then let's head down the straight road!'

"Would you please take the other way?" Burgh asked.

'Pidove: Oh, COME ON! First no cake, then this?'

Burgh walked off, and Pidove popped out of his pokeball and ran after him.

"Wait!"

'Herdier: Wait!'

'Dewott: Wait!'

'Pansear: Awkward… Let's go after him.'

'Dewott: _her_!'

I headed up, and found... myself being challenged by a Munna. Level 17. And Pansear was 15.

Two psybeams brought Pansear down to 1 HP, at which point I heard Di-dum. Di-dum. Di-dum. Di-dum.

I switched him out for Herdier who Bit the Munna into fainting.

Past him was two bridges and a girl who looked back and forth between them. I went back to the nurse, then snuck past the girl. Several more easily avoided trainers, I found Pidove. And Burgh. Who immediately sent me back.

On the way back, I got challenged by a Pidove and a Purrloin, which made Pansear grow to level 16 and yawn.

'Pansear: No, I want to learn the move yawn. Narrate correctly!'

"Who? Narrator?" I asked.

'Pidove: Yeah, a narrator? You mean the text box?'

'Pansear: Nothing. I was thinking to myself.'

'Dewott: Okaay…'

One trainer, fainted Pansear, and trip to the nurse later, I set off to go on the side path.

First I set my Dowsing machine to my Y button, and then I got ambushed by Mayo and May! Who sent out Sewaddle and Sewaddle! Who used Razor leaf and Razor leaf! Who got fainted by Tackle and Tackle!

'Pansear: Too…much…déjà vu…'

'Pidove: Don't worry, I'm confused too. Hey, is that a blimp?'

'Dewott: No, that's a cloud.'

'Pidove: So then is _that_ a blimp?'

'Dewott: No, that's another cloud.'

'Pidove: So then is that a blimp?'

'Dewott: No, that's a flag with a blue P on it on a hill with some suspiscious-looking guys next to it in hoods. Nothing important. It's not like that's Team Plasma or something.'

Past the twins was a Plasma grunt, who made a valiant effort to stop us… with his Sandile.

Three Incinerates and it was dead. He, surprisingly, let me by.

Past him was a patch of grass with a Cottonee, but I didn't want to catch it. It's amazing what changes when you view pokemon as people. Instead, I Incinerated and Cut the Cottonee into fainting, getting Pansear to level 17.I headed back to heal, and bought lots of potions, full heals. Then I went off into the forest again.

I found a hidden Big Root, and then another Grunt challenged me using her Purrloin level 16. It never stood a chance, fainting easily.

I found a Venipede in the grass, which though cool-looking I didn't catch, and a TinyMushroom. Also, there was a mossy rock. Apparently Game Freak wanted the Eeveelutions to be able to evolve again.

I went in the line of sight of a Ranger (Hilariously, his name was Forrest) and when I fainted his Herdier it got my Herdier to level 21, and then he gave me a berry. One of those sleep-preventing berries that Cheren gave me.

'Pidove: It's better than nothing!'

I saved, and then headed left. Youngster Nicholas decided that he would like his pokemon to get hurt, and so I delightedly gave that to him. I used the Fresh Water to heal Pansear, and then set off once more.

Here there were some green piles on the ground, as well as fallen logs. Curious, Herdier popped out of her pokeball and walked over to them.

'Herdier: What… is that?'

'Dewott: A pile of green stuff?'

'Herdier: Thanks. That helped a lot.'

As herdier walked up to it, though, a ranger appeared! She was hiding in the pile, and had a Pansage. Like the ranger before, she gave me a berry once I defeated her. Past her the past went under a fallen log, and you could easiy see the Plasma Grunt up there.

'Pidove: See! I told you it was a blimp!'

'Dewott: …'

'Pansear: …'

"…"

Past there was dark grass. Oh yeah, and another pop-out-of-nowhere-and-scare-us-all ranger, this time with a Panpour. Pidove took this one down using a combo of Air Cutter and Roost. This ranger gave me a Pecha berry instead, which cures poison. I used a Super Potion on Pidove and set off to fight the plasma grunt.

The grunt did a bad job of holding me there, as his Patrat got fainted by pidove.

Past him was more grass, a pokeball with a parlyz heal, and another 'ninja ranger' with a Pansear to round off the trio, who was also fainted by Pidove. Past her was the team plasma grunt with the skull! Could I possibly beat her?

Yeah, probably.

**I**

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	14. Bridging the gap

**A/N: Flameuser64: I'm not sure. Maybe the 4****2**** wall? Either that or the fifth wall sounds good. Hawkpaw: Really? I just put that in there as some Pidove randomness. I was not expecting you to think that too.**

**Anyway, here is the 'epic' fight against that plasma grunt…**

**Chapter 14: Bridging the gap**

The Plasma grunt challenged me to a fierce battle…

And sent out a patrat.

If I was in anime I would have a cartoon sweatdrop on my face right now.

"What? Seriously?"

'Pidove: A PATRAT? LEVEL 14? She thinks she can stop us like that! Oh wow! They're idiots!'

'Pansear: *rolling in pokeball laughing*'

'Herdier: That is so… funny yet pitiful… yet…oh forget it. Back to laughing.'

The next pokemon… was also a patrat. This went down quickly too, leaving the last pokemon, a sandile, to use bite.

Di-dum. Di-dum. Di-dum. Di-dum.

I just used a Super potion, and then fainted the Sandile, getting Pidove to level 21.

'Pidove: Finally! I'm level 21! I can evolve! Yay! YAHOO!'

'What? Pidove is evolving!'

Pidove got cut up, swirled around, and then 'Your Pidove evolved into Tranquill!'

'Tranquill: Yes! I'm more powerful! Now I can faint enemies better! YES!'

'Tranquill fainted from too much happiness!' Read the text box.

'Pansear: …really?'

'Herdier:…'

'Dewott:…'

After the battle, I got a Dragon Skull!

And then a guy named Gorm came, terrorized the poor grunt, and explained that the skull was not of a legendary pokemon. Yeah, because it's a Dragonite!

And then Burgh came, trash talked, and Lenora came too. And then they mysteriously vanished.

Burgh commented "They're a speedy bunch." before heading back to the gym. Lenora gave me a Moon Stone in exchange for the Skull, and then she left. So I did too, before finding myself on the main road. So I went back down, healed up, and FINALLY got out of this stupid forest.

I was greeted by some tall buildings in the distance. "That's the Castelia City skyline!" explained the person standing there. All that stood in between me and the city was a bridge. A very long bridge.

I headed left, got a Quick Claw from some random Hiker, and went on the bridge to find the camera almost straight up. I walked forward, up the stairs, and it glided down to its original position. Here there was a spiral, with trucks going beneath the walkway. I ran up the spiral and the came gradually zoomed out, which actually looked pretty cool.

'Pidove: Wow! So many blimps! Oh, I mean clouds. Sorry.'

At the end of the spiral, I could see the little house where I started from. Cool!

But more coolness was to come. As I walked forward, the camera tilted forward, and I could see the top section of the bridge.

"Wow… that is just awesome with the camera."

'Pansear: Yeah. Hey, is that a boat underneath us?'

"Yeah. Weird."

The camera panned up until it was practically over the mast of the bridge. As I kept running, it quickly switched to a really laid back, front view, before changing to a view high enough that I could see the clouds. It gradually went back to the normal view, just in time for me to enter the building.

All that took about thirty seconds, but they were thirty seconds of coolness.

And as soon as I stepped in castelia city the coolness resumed. I headed down to find a pier with a person showing me how to do a thumbs-up, and a scientist asking me which Panguy (copyright 2011 zzzp2) I wanted to evolve. I chose Pansear and he gave me a Fire stone.

'Pansear: Don't evolve me!'

'Herdier: why not?'

'Pansear: Because when I evolve I can't learn any new moves!'

"Really?"

'Pansear: Yeah.'

I went out of the pier and onto the circular street. When I went close to the rail, the camera zoomed out, to show a Pikachu poster over the Pokemon Center.

'Dewott: Isn't that not a Unova pokemon?'

'Pansear: Yeah, why is there a Pikachu there?'

There was also another pier, with a boat. I was not allowed entry onto the boat, the Royal Unova, because it was in preparation.

'Pansear: Hey! That was the boat I saw on the bridge!'

"You're right! Why was it going on the bridge when it was under preparation? Nintendo logic is weird."

'Dewott: Agreed.'

In the pokemon center, there was someone using it, but she quickly moved out of the way. A nice touch, shows that NPCs don't just stand around all day.

The next pier had some great advice from someone: "When you want to yell at someone, yell at the ocean! …When you're alone, of course."

Past that was a building: The Battle Company. Intruiged, I went inside. A guy explained that here, the workers have pokemon battles. So I went inside the elevator to the 47th floor.

I taught Pansear Rock smash, and then began battling. The first person had just a Herdier, so Pansear made it Yawn, and then Rock Smashed it repeatedly, growing to level 18. I healed, and then went to battle the next person, who had a Timburr, which pansear beat at a heavy cost: 2 of my Super Potions. I bought two more when I went to heal, and when I headed back to the company, a guy gave me Quick Balls and Timer balls. Quick Balls are good for throwing at the start of a battle, while Timer Balls are better when you have taken a lot of time.

The next person had a Cottonee and a Petlil. Pansear beat them both, growing to level 19 and learning Bite while forgetting Rock Smash. Past her was a Revive, an insanely useful tool that does exactly what it sounds like: it revives a fainted pokemon. One more trip to heal, and it was time to defeat everybody else on the 47th floor.

**A/N: Pansear is going to pointi out the things that struck me as weird when I played. I figured it would suit him. And did you know Unova is based on New York? Castelia is NYC, the Skyarrow bridge is the Brooklyn bridge, and really that's all I know of it. So keep on reviewing.**

**(And did anyone **_**actually read**_** my excuse for not updating? No one?)**


	15. 404 Dewott not found

**A/N: I think the title might spoil some stuff...  
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**Chapter 15: 404 Dewott not found  
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Now, to beat the battle company, in its own game.

First up was a scientist with a Roggenrola. Dewott fainted it in one hit with Razor shell.

The next clerk greeted me with a Basculin, a fish pokemon with a red stripe. Pansear switched out once again to Herdier.

'Herdier: I wonder if fish tastes good…'

'Tranquill: WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THE BASCULIN?'

'Herdier: No I'm not. I'm making a joke. On the fact that I'm using Bite. But you've completely ruined the joke by making me explain it. Way to go, genius. Now look for those hamsters.'

Herdier used Bite several times and defeated the Basculin, growing to level 22. Up next was….

Another basculin.

'Pansear: Hey! This one has a blue stripe!'

'Tranquill: Weird. Maybe they're different forms.'

'Dewott: Of course they are! What else would they be?'

'Tranquill: Uh… paint? No, blimps! Yeah!'

'Herdier: …'

'Pansear: ….Herdier! Look ou-'

'The foe's Basculin used Aqua Jet! Herdier fainted!' the text box read.

'Pansear: for that Aqua Jet. Oh well.'

Air Cutter from Tranquill fainted the Basculin, but the next basculin fainted Tranquill. After Dewott fainted _it_ _,_ growing to level 22 as well, (and healing)there was only one more person left on the 47th floor of the Battle company. Who had…

'Tranquill: What does a scope lens do?'

The scientist explained "when a pokemon holds a scope lens, it has a better chance of making a critical hit!"

So then I headed up to the 55th floor and picked up a Hyper potion.

'Pansear: Hey, don't Hypers heal 200 HP? I'm barely at 50 right now!'

'Tranquill: I don't know. Maybe they expect someone to get to level 30 on level 17s?'

"Uh, Pansear?"

'Pansear: Well, it's not as if the rest of the game makes sense.'

"Pansear!" I practically yelled.

'Pansear: WHAT?'

'the foe's Woobat used gust!'

"You're in a battle against a blue fuzzball with wings. Hey, that's what those things at the beginning were! Woobats!"

'Dewott: Yeah!'

Two bites got Pansear to level 20. I passed a scientist without letting it see me but the next one caught me. Only to have his Sewaddle be Incinerated.

The next one had a Pansear, a Panpour, and a Pansage. Pansear Yawned and then Cut his clone, Tranquill Air Cut the Panpour, and Pansear Incinerated his grass-type counterpart, growing to level 21. The last person in the building, was actually the chairman…. Who was a Janitor!

'Pansear: What!'

'Tranquill: Well, THAT was unexpected.'

'Dewott: Since when are chairmen janitors?'

'Pansear: But it makes sense that his pokemon is based off of a leaking trash bag. A green trash bag with eyes and sludge for arms. Named Trubbish. Weird.'

Pansear Bit the Trubbish into fainting, but then he sent out a Minccino, a white mouse with a big ears and a tail. Herdier Rock Smashed it and fainted it in one hit.

'Herdier: Take that, _Janitor_!'

The chairman explained that he disguises himself as a janitor because he wants to know the kinds of trainers that came. Then he gave me an Exp. Share. When held by someone it splits the EXP from fainted pokemon between the pokemon in battle and the one holding it. Woohoo!

Satisfied, I walked out of the battle company, saved and healed, and set off to explore the rest of the city.

To the left of the battle company was the fourth and last pier; but it had just a dancer.

But then I headed left some more and found that the FIFTH one was the last one. It had a boat, but I wasn't allowed on.

Past that was a street, and when I walked down it I arrived at a central plaza with another dancer. He challenged me with his Pansage. Easy for Pansear. Then he asked me to find two other dancers to dance together.

I took another road and found… a dancer. Yay!

Who immediately battled me with his Panpour.

Tranquill took care of him, growing to level 22, and when I beat him he went off to go join the other dancer. I headed down the road and found a café. There I got a Lemonade. When I headed down…

"Where did I put those sunglasses?"

Then the random dude walked up to me from behind a dumpster, and gave me the TM for flash. Ohkay…?

I healed up, and then went to the pier to find that dancer again, who used a Pansear.

'Dewott: As if we didn't see that coming…'

Pansear fainted it, and learned Flame Burst to replace Incinerate. The dancer walked off, and this tiem I took the road to the right of the PKMN center. It was filled with people walking, and the Game Freak building was here too. I walked down to the plaza, and got an Amulet coin for my trouble. It doubles the prize money you get from battles.

Then I headed down to the left road and to the gym.

But Cheren was there first, pushed me aside, and walked off. And then Burgh appeared with an "ah hah!", and explained that Team Plasma had shown up! Oh no!

But then he ran off to one of the docks. It turned out to be the one to the left of the Center, and Bianca was there with a purple-haired girl named Iris.

But oh no! Team plasma stole Bianca's pokemon! So we have to go rescue them!

'Dewott: If this isn't cliché I don't know what is.'

"Finding one person will be like a needle in a really big haystack" commented Burgh. Ironically, as it turned out, because a Plasma grunt appeared, and then ran off. So of course we both ran off.

At the very left, Burgh pointed towards the gym. It turns out, they were right across from it. So them being them, they battled me with their level 17 pokemon. Easy for level 22 Pansear and Herdier to take care of.

They ran off into the building, so we followed them. Inside, Ghetsis and 2 other creepy guys in robes were there. One commented "I thought it would be amusing to prepare a hideout in front of a gym", which made everyone laugh.

They gave her back her Munna, but then they just disappeared. But they left behind an item called a smoke ball, which lets you escape from any battle when held. So that's how!

'Pansear: Well that was random.'

'Tranquill: Yeah. How do they get away so fast? Maybe Dewott knows.'

…

'Tranquill: Dewott?'

…

I pressed X then pokemon; and the screen showed I only had two pokemon.

'Pansear: What?'

I thought for a few seconds before I came to a conclusion.

"Team Plasma stole my pokemon!"

**A/N: Yay, Plot twist! I've always wanted this to happen. Don't worry, Dewott and Herdier will be safe. Hopefully. Review as always, and comment on wether you like this or no.**


	16. Spooks and Scares

**A/N: This is a halloween chapter, due to it being halloween at publication date. And so, here is the next silly chapter: **

**Chapter 16: Spooks and scares**

'Pansear: WHAAAT? You think Team Plasma got them? But they're so weak!'

'Tranquill: And they ran out in a second!'

'Pansear: And you don't even have any pokeballs on your character! How is that even possible?'

'Tranquill: WERE GONNA DIE! ALL DIE-NO, FAINT. WERE ALL GONNA FAINT!'

"Guys, there's a reason I train everybody to the same level. Let's just continue playing through the game until we see Plasma again, then epicly pwn them and MAKE them give Dewott and Herdier back!"

'Pansear: That, or we could take their smoke ball, light it on fire, and BURN THEIR HIDEOUT DOWN! WITH THE SMOKE BALL!'

'Tranquill: Not now! First let's beat the gym. Just for the heck of it. It will help me vent my EXTREME PLAZMAH ANGER!'

"Hey, wait a minute. It's Halloween! I wonder if the city is decorated…" I mused, and stepped outside.

The city exhibited a profound lack of decorations.

'Tranquill: Awww…'

I walked about 3 feet to the right and walked into the gym. And stopped and did a double take.

The carpet was green with orange stripes, and the walls were red. On top of them were red stuff oozing down the sides, and venipedes and woobats flew/crawled around everywhere.

'Pansear….so the city doesn't decorate, but the gym does?'

From the Fresh Water guy I learned that the honey (which was supposed to be blood) could be walked through. Walking through walls!

Up ahead was the first honey wall, which I walked through and stepped on a switch. Two gates to either side of me slid down.

To the left was another switch. I stepped on it…

And a venipede popped out of the ground, like the ninja rangers.

'Tranquill: Aahh! Ninja… Venipede?'

"Boo!" The 'Venepede' exclaimed. "Did I surprise you? With my amazing costume? It's an embodiment of art!"

Then he challenged me to a battle with his Sewaddle and Venipede, but Tranquill easily fainted them.

I stepped on the switch and opened another gothic gate. Behind it were three switches. I pressed the left one, then the right, opening a honey wall. The last switch…

'Pansear: EEK! ANOTHER NINJA MAGIKARP! Hey, wait a minute…'

"Boo! Do you like my costume? It's so amazing. I'm the most powerful pokemon in existence!" Said the trainer. So I gave him a fright when his Sewaddle and Dwebble (an orange hermit crab) fainted. Tranquill grew to level 23 as well, learning Detect.

The trainer's excuse for why he didn't win? "But I wasn't battling! If I battled I would defeat you for sure!"

I headed back to the Center to heal, and then headed back to the spooky gym. There was another gate-lowering switch, and a honey wall. I went through, and stepped on the switch…

And someone dressed as a ghost appeared. "Boo! I am dressed as a Boo! Tremble in fear of my cameo!"

He had a Sewaddle, that was 1 hit KOed. I headed up to step on the final switch… and someone saw me, like a regular trainer. That was unexpected. He had a Venipede and Sewaddle. The switch opened the final gate, and I walked up to Burgh (who was dressed as a witch) and began the battle.

His Whirlipede (Venipede evolves into it) looked like a wheel with an eye in the middle of it. It took two Flame Bursts to defeat. His Dwebble fell actually managed to faint Pansear, but Tranquill Air Cut it and made Burgh send out his final pokemon, a Leavanny. Leavannys are pretty much a bug standing on its thin legs, with antennae and a face that really makes you think it's a girl.

'Tranquill: It looks…. Odd.'

'Pansear: Faint…it….already…'

Tranquill Air Cut it, resisting its Razor Leaves, and grew to level 24.

Burgh gave me the Insect Badge, and also a TM for the useless move Struggle Bug. I headed down, avoiding some stray Venipedes, and out of the gym… and the Xtransciever rang. Bianca asked for a battle on the gate to Route 4, out of the blue. So I healed up and went to the central plaza.

'Pansear: Do you think we can beat her?'

"No, not really" I admitted. "But if we don't we can't get Dewott and Herdier back."

So I headed up, and Bianca intercepted me at the gate. She actually remembered to ask the lady at the desk if it was OK to battle, which was a big first for her. And then she battled me.

**A/N: There's one more thing I forgot to say to everyone: Happy Halloween!**

**And the funniest thing I have ever written goes to "Boo! I am dressed as a Boo! Tremble in fear of my cameo!"**

**Review as usual. And next chapter may contain seis times nueve in the thirteenth base. It is the essential answer to everything.  
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	17. So long, and thanks for all the training

**A/N: **

**So who ever guessed (AKA no one. REVIEW!), this next chapter is the next reference chapter. It's at times like this that I wish I had listened to what my writing teacher said about cliffhangers.**

'**Herdier from Plasma-land: What did your teacher say?'**

**Where'd you come from? And I don't know, I didn't listen. But this has to do with the craziest, silliest book about a book around, The Hitchhiker's guide series. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 17: So long, Castelia, and thanks for all the training

Bianca started off with her Herdier, against Pansear. Unfortunately for her, it was level 18 vs. 23, so 3 Flame Bursts fainted it.

Next up was Munna, and I bit it twice, but then its Psybeam fainted Pansear. So Air cutter fainted IT, and then Tranquill fell asleep due to Yawn. I used one of Cheren's Chesto Berries, letting Pignite, who got sent out, use Defense Curl. Two Air Cutters got Pignite to faint and Tranquill to level 35.

Bianca ran off, once again in the opposite direction, and I followed her to heal. After healing I stepped into the incredibly sandy Route 4.

First I headed left and got an X accuracy. On my way out of the sand pile I got intercepted by a Sandile. They are little brown crocodiles, and they faint easily when exposed to Flame Burst because they're ground types.

I wandered around a bit, and found an Ultra Ball, and a Darumaka. Darumakas are little red balls with arms and legs.

I also found a house with someone who healed me.

Past that was a Great Ball, and a lady with a parasol, and two Tympoles.

Past HER was another Hyper potion, and a Scraggy tried to stop me from going even MORE past that.

'Pansear: So we're being stopped by a lizard with an oval for a head who can't keep his little patch of skin that looks like pants up? He thinks digital watches are neat, for heaven's sake.

'Tranquill: How do you know that?'

'Pansear: He's wearing one.'

Unfortunately the Scraggy ran away at this comment, violating the rules of the game when not in a safari zone/great marsh or the like.

Past THAT was more sand, and a crazy hitchhiker who asked me if he'd seen any green UFOs, and something about an "Elgyem", whatever that is. Probably a pokemon.

'Hitchhiker Ford wants to battle!' the text box read.

He had a Timburr, and Pansear fainted it with two Flame bursts. His next pokemon, a Roggenrola, fainted Pansear and Tranquill had to take over.

Past that, as my reward for trekking up so much, was TM41 Torment.

So then I had to walk ALL THE WAY BACK to the main path, Tranquill getting fainted and me blacking out for the second time, having to go all the way back to route 4…

'Tranquill: Well, there's no way it could possibly get worse than this. It's not like me saying that causes a vacuum that makes it happen or something.

And then I got challenged by Cheren.

'Pansear: …Really?'

'Tranquill: -_-' '

His first pokemon was a Pidove level 20. Pansear Bit it and Flame Bursted it into fainting, being buffeted by the raging sandstorm all the while.

Next up was a Panpour, the water-type Panguy™, so I switched Pansear out for Tranquill. Two Air Cutters later, Tranquill was up against Liepard, the evolved form of Purrloin. It looked kind of like a purple cheetah with yellow spots.

'Liepard: Oh, hey, a challenger. Excuse me, can I bore you to death with nonsense? For example, did you know that a purple flower lasts for a month and three days in cold climates? And tha-

'Tranquill: Look, that's obviously fake, and so I'm just going to faint you already.'

'Liepard: No, what I say isn't fake! Reality is just incompetent.'

'Pansear: BE QUIET!'

Two Air cutters and one Quick attack fainted the Liepard and stopped its babble of fake trivia, growing to level 26, and then it was Tranquill vs. Servine, the evolved form of Snivy. Oh yeah, except then I switched to Pansear and utterly creamed it with Flame burst.

Cheren walked off grumbling about trust between pokemon, and then the Xtransciever rang. She was waiting at the gate to Nimbasa city, which was at the end of the Route. So I headed back to heal and FINALLY got out of Castelia. For real this time.

At the end of the paved path was sand. And a lot of it. Some was almost pinkish, some wasn't. I knew from my experience that the pink sand has pokemon.

First I headed left, staying on the yellow sand. I crossed just three patches of pink grass. The upshot of this? If you stick the item I got, an ether, in a pokemon's ear-no, mouth, they get all their PP back from one move. Some crazy scientists HAD linked this to "babel" whatever it is, but no one believes them. Or so said Cheren's Liepard.

The next Backpacker I met had a Cottonee. But it was up against Pansear. Cue 1 hit KO.

'Pansear: You know… it's so dry here. I need tea or something.'

'Tranquill: Tea?'

The text box popped up. 'We apologize for the inconvenience. The best we have is something that is almost, but not quite unlike tea. Do you want it?'

'Dewott: Where'd that come from?'

'Herdier: Text box service?'

I pressed No and continued down the road, ignoring Pansear's pleas.

I headed up more and found another Backpacker spinning around, and mentioning a bag with a towel, or something like that. I was too busy pressing A.

He had a Darumaka, and though the sandstorm got Pansear down to 10 HP, he grew to level 25. And so I beat Hitchhiker Arthur.

I headed back to heal and then saved, you couldn't be too careful.

Back up the route, I found a Super Potion before heading up the road again,beating a Blitzle, and then farther up were actual cars passing above me!

"Hey! That's new!"

'Pansear: *cough*, *cough*. I don't like them. You have to pull lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground, turn it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea. Is that wort- *cough* being able to get from place to place?'

'Tranquill: Why are you coughing? This is a GAME! There's no smoke!'

I headed up the road, and found Professor Jun-uh, no. Another Hitchhiker intercepted me with a Pidove first.

After beating him hands-down, I continued, and finally saw the gate, and Professor Juniper.

**A/N: I had to leave out 42, but this was one of the most fun chapters to write. So review, for the sake of Arthur's towel!**

**(Oh yeah, and for the captured pokemon too)**

**I**

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	18. Refreshing the situation

**A/N: Fractalman: I would if I had a good opportunity to do it. Chapter 4 is definitely my favorite of them all so far, and I will have some more "screen breaking" later on. But thanks for reminding me of that.**

Chapter 18: Refreshing the situation

I stepped into the terminal and found Juniper and Cheren there. Juniper explained that someone named Elesa had called her about Electric types, and so she gave us all 10 free Ultra Balls. What that has to do with electric-types I don't know.

Then she headed off, down, back into Route 3. So I headed out of the gate.

'Pansear: …Are those Plasma Grunts?'

Yep, two plasma grunts were terrorizing an old man, who ran the day-care. So I said "Hey!"

The plasma grunts looked around. "Is that the voice that interrupted our presentation?"

"No, maybe it's a Chatot." The other responded.

"What's a Chatot?" the first asked.

I interrupted their conversation. "Yes, you two grunts. You have this person's Herdier and Dewott?"

'Dewott: Yes! Yes! Make them release me, Kyle!'

'Herdier: We're saved! I know it's cliché but we're saved! YAY!'

'Pansear: Yes! They have them! Though why would they give high-leveled pokemon to them?'

'Dewott: WHO CARES? JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS POKEBALL!'

"Yes, you do. Give them back to this man… or else…" I couldn't think of anything else to say after or else, but the Plasma Grunts battled me… with Dewott.

'Dewott: What? I'm not battling Pansear!'

'Dewott ran away from the opponent and joined Kyle's team!' Read the text box.

'Pansear: Good to have you back. Now they just need to send out Herdier…'

He sent out a Watchog.

Pansear used Flame Burst twice and fainted the Watchog, and next up was a Trubbish, who was also Flame Bursted. And finally, Herdier got sent out and rejoined the party.

The Plasma grunts ran off into the amusement park, scared, and the old man said thank you to "the voice" and gave my character a Bike.

Then Bianca appeared, and ran off to the Musical.

"YES! I GOT MY POKEMON BACK!" I couldn't help but say.

'Pansear: Woohoo!'

'Dewott: Uh… Guys? Sorry to interrupt your celebration… but we're still level 22.'

* * *

><p>After receiving the HM for Strength from a guy in the pokemon center, I headed up, and to the left to the gate.<p>

But then I got ambushed by Bianca, and dragged to the Musical Theater, where they have musicals.

For musicals you dress up a pokemon, and then make it dance. Or so the owner of the theater explained, before giving us each a Prop Case, and making me dress up Dewott.

"So… you're a boy, Dewott, right?"

'Dewott: Yep! So… can I have those glasses?'

I dragged the Glasses onto Dewott's face using the stylus.

'Pansear: Oh, oh, oh! How about that tennis racket there!'

'Tranquill: Uh, so a tennis Dewott? You'd need a tie for that.'

'Dewott: A tie? For tennis? You're getting two things mixed up. But it might look good.'

This continued for several minutes until everybody agreed on a look that looked good. So I pressed OK…

And all our efforts had gone to waste, as I was greeted with the overworld.

"WHAT?"

'Dewott: What? And we had a nice look all planned and everything… Awww.'

'Tranquill: Cheer up! It's not like someone's going to come and say we can't do the musical!'

'Pansear: Why do I get the feeling that any second now that's going to happen…'

Bianca and the owner walked off, so I went outside to find… Bianca's dad?

'Tranquill: Bianca's dad? What is he doing here?'

Bianca asked "Daddy? What are you doing here?"

He wanted to take Bianca home, but Bianca wanted to keep going on her adventure. And as they argued, sad music played.

Until someone with REALLY long hair talked about how pokemon help trainers, and that sentimental nonsense repeated in pokemon oh so many times. It actually convinced him, leaving Dad to go home (walking?). Then she explained that her name was Elesa (aha!) and that she was the gym leader.

Bianca walked off too, and to Herdier's delight, the regular Nimbasa music resumed playing, so I headed left and FINALLY got to my destination: Training.

The first pokemon I ran into was a trainer's pokemon, a Munna level 23. Behind her was a Great ball, and the next pokemon I saw was a Liepard. And the next was also a Liepard. And the next.

So I got tired of Liepards, and went onto the street to see the trainers' pokemon. First up were two whirlipedes, getting Dewott to level 23. Next was a Sigilyph, a ghost pokemon with rainbow wings and an almost cylindrical body, Razor Shelled into fainting and giving Dewott a level boost to 24.

Next was a Darumaka, or two, which got Razor shelled, and Herdier took care of a Blitzle, culminating Dewott's training to level 25, where he learned Water Pulse, and I got an Electric Guitar prop.

One more trip to heal, switching Herdier into the front of my party, and I was ready to finish the training.

**A/N: So when you get a mistaken 404 error, what do you do to fix it? You refresh the page.**

**I**

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	19. Natural conversation

Chapter 19: N-atural conversations

I figured I was done with training by now, so I headed back into nimbasa.

'Herdier: Can we go to the amusement park? It has awesome music!'

"Uh, sure…" I replied. "Wait, how do you know that?"

'Herdier: …uh, rumor?'

'Dewott: …'

I headed in past a neon blinking arch… and ran into N?

'Tranquill: AAAAHHH! RANDOM STALKER DUDE IS BACK!'

'N: Do you really think I'm a stalker?'

'Tranquill: YES I DO! Wait, what? You can hear us too?'

'Pansear: Didn't he say that he could?'

'N: Anyway, you're looking for Team Plasma,right? They ran into the amusement park. Come with me.'

'Tranquill: It's a trap! It's a trap! His creepy music is play-'

'N: Creepy music? What?'

'Dewott: …never mind her…'

He looked around before walking up to a ferris wheel, explaining that maybe we could ride the wheel to spot them. Which wasn't actually such a bad idea.

The ferris wheel rose into the sky, with a pokeball cart carrying us two.

'N: First, I must tell you… I am the king of Team Plasma.'

*insert record scratch here*

'Tranquill: See! IT WAS A TRAP! BEING PARANOID IS GOOD! NOW HOP ON THAT BLIMP TO ESCA- oh wait it's a cloud. Never mind me.'

'Dewott: WHAT?'

'Herdier: WHAT?'

'Pansear: Unexpected plot twist. Wow.

"WHAAAT?" I practically yelled.

N looked around. 'Oh dear. Not the voice again. What is it with you and summoning it?'

'Tranquill: Uh, actually he's him. The voice is our trainer.'

Now it was N's turn to be surprised. 'WHAT?'

'Pansear: WHY'D YOU TELL THE EVIL GUY? WHY?'

'N: I'm not evil! Trainers are! They make them fight with no thoughts!'

'Dewott: OBJECTION! That's because they're NPCs. And most of their pokemon like them.'

"I can attest to that," I spoke up. "Look, Ghetsis is going to betray you. He raised you with pokemon that were maltreated to make him be the only person with pokemon so he can rule the world. Do you want that to happen? "

'N: No! Ghetsis wouldn't do that!...wait, how does a random disembodied voice know about Ghetsis?'

Thank you disregarded online spoiler alerts.

"Well, then in that case I'm an all knowing random disembodied voice. And pokemon like their trainers. Ask anyone else's pokemon. You would be doing more harm than good."

'Dewott: Was that more of the sentimental nonsense Elesa was talking about?'

'Herdier: Yes, yes it was. Hey! Wait a minute! I know what we're going to do today! We're gonna have a part with a lot of Phineas and Ferb references!'

'Pansear: Uh, guys? Not now. We have el creepo N-'

'N: Hey!'

'Pansear: -talking to us and we need to try and convince him to call off Team Plasma. But if we do, then there's no plot.'

'N: May I butt in? Why do you keep making references to video games? We're not in one. This is life.'

"…"

'Herdier: …uh, yeeeaaah. Riiight. Anyway, more sentimental nonsense.'

"N, can't you just stop?"

'N: No. Pokemon are my friends, and they're being hurt. I don't know why you all look down on Team Plasma. They're just trying to help. I'm trying to help. Although yours…'

'Herdier: Yay! The ride's ending! Now we can go back to Nimbasa city music!'

'N: You sure have odd pokemon….'

By now the ferris wheel had indeed reached the end, and we both stepped off…

To find the creepy N music change to the epic Plasma music as two Grunts came.

'N: I wish we could talk more, but you're under my protection now. You're safe. Let's battle to cover our escape.'

'Dewott: Uh, what?'

'N: You're one of the people who I think could help us free the pokemon. Do you follow my logic?'

"No."

'N: What? I thought… Oh forget it. Battle time!'

N's first pokemon was a Sandile, level 22. Go, half-HP down Herdier! I used a Lemonade to heal Herdier before using Rock smash twice and fainting the Dark/Ground lizard.

'Your pokemon look happy,' commented N.

'Herdier: That's because I am! And stop referring to me in third person!'

Next up was a Scraggy.

*insert epic Dewott pwnage of Scraggy and Darumaka here*

In came Pansear to faint a Sigilyph, a spherical Pokémon, with an eye on a black line. It also had four wing-like growths around its body, and two small spikes at its base. I say it in the past tense because one Bite fainted the odd-looking ancient psychic bird… thing, getting Pansear to level 26.

The Plasma grunts were gone by the time the battle ended, and N issued a challenge to me with a great close-up sprite:

"I'll become unbeatable and defeat the Champion, like no other! I'll make all trainers free their pokemon! Just try and stop me!"

I just had to point one thing out: "Uh, N? Do you realize WHO you just issued that challenge to?"

N walked off instead of answering, leaving me to heal, and ponder what he sai-

'Tranquill: Look! The gym's in the amusement park! Let's go there!'

'Pansear: You cut off the narra- ugh, never mind. Come on.'

I headed in, got my dose of Fresh water, and set off to tackle the 4th gym.

**A/N: This chapter was the funniest ever to write. I was laughing the whole time. And by the way, I figured N should be able to talk with them too. Add a dash of Tranquill randomness and disregarded spoiler alerts, and voila. Hilarity galore.**

**So, review! NOW! Or…**

**Oh forget that. Review it. NOW!**


	20. Dewott! I know what we're gonna do NOW

**Somewhere between the fourth and fifth walls…**

'Dewott: You know, I've been thinking about it and actually a Phineas and Ferb reference part could be extremely funny.'

'Herdier: Well, if we didn't do it 3 days ago, then let's do it now. Ok, zzzp2?'

**Yes?**

'Herdier: We're going to be making a lot of Phineas and Ferb references. I know you're publishing this, so please try to play along. Kyle, if you're sneakily reading this, you too. Hopefully you aren't.'

**So in that case… Let's see what we can do about this pesky lack of humor! **

*From review-space Ashwolf and Charri protest*

**Come on! Has there been ANY humor at all? In this chapter, at least? And so, how about this for a chapter title, guys?**

Chapter 20: Hey Dewott! I know what we're gonna do NOW!

'Herdier: Great!'

**Uh, this is part of the chapter now. Back to the story! *insert Mario 'yahoo!' here***

**[-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-]**

The fourth gym was, in true amusement park style, a rollercoaster. "First you get in the car, which takes you to another platform. Then you have to step on the switch to change the car's direction!", explained the guy at the front who always explains everything.

The first car took me a little to the right. From there, I could see a switch blocked by the sightline of a trainer. I switched Dewott out of the front, and put in Herdier to train before saving and challenging the person, who commented that my fashion was a little Nuvema Townish. She sent out an emolga, a little yellow flying electric squirrel. It used shock wave, NOT spamming double team for once, and letting me get in there for a Bite. Next up was the dreaded DOUBLE TEAM. And again. And again. But luckily, I had a hidden trick: X Accuracy. I used it on Herdier and the next Bite connected. And the next.

Before the Emolga fainted, it said something quite odd: 'Emolga: You may have beat me now, but I'm going to Elesa and telling on your team! And I'm NOT using a banana this time!'

'Dewott: …Uh, you guys all heard that, right? It wasn't just me? The banana thing?'

'Herdier: Yeah… why would an Emolga even use a banana? Are there even bananas in pokemon anyway? And how's she in on it?'

'Pansear: SHUSH!'

Herdier got to level 24 from this, and replacing the weaker Bite with Crunch. Next up… was another Emolga. Joy. In came Pansear, Yawning and then repeatedly Flame Bursting it.

'Pansear: Emolga's sleeping sprite is so cute! It has its eyes closed but its mouth open!'

'Tranquill: Are you sure there's nothing cuter? What about... a Pichu? Or some cheese?(hint hint)'

'Pansear: Hmmm... Oh! A snagret! Yeah.'

'Tranquill: ...I'm staying away from that from now on.'

'Herdier: CAN YOU TO SHUT IT SO I CAN LISTEN TO THE MUSIC? Thanks.'

Pansear managed to faint the Emolga, defating the lady. I headed back to heal, and also bought 5 revives, a medicine which revives a fainted pokemon. So I headed back, took the car, and pressed the switch. It changed the path of the coaster so that instead of going to the front, it went upwards to another platform. Here there was another trainer blocking a switch. He just had a Blitzle, no INSANELY ANNOYING emolgas. One Work Up, and two Crunches later Herdier fainted it, although it was Paralyzed.

ANOTHER trip to heal (in case you can't tell, I hate using medicine), and I retraced my steps and pressed the switch. Another car came by… but someone was in it!

This Rich Boy had two Blitzles, both defeated by Herdier, who grew to level 25 as his reward. Upon defeat he stepped aside, letting me climb a hill… and go speeding down to the next stop. I used two Super Potions on Herdier to get her up to full health, and then battled the next person in a car.

She had: An EMOLGA!

'Emolga: Hi! You won't be able to face us two! …Hey? Where's Emo?'

**A bit farther up in the gym, where Elesa resides…**

An emolga walked up to Elesa, who was sitting, bored, at the head of the gym.

'Emo: Em emo em! Emolga em emo!'

"Oh, that's great. Your mission was a success. But you forgot something: A translator! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU FOR ARCEUS'S SAKE!"

'Emo: Em emolga em. (It's Reshiram's.)'

**Back to the present, where there's a (not so) fierce battle going on…**

The battle wasn't so fierce as Herdier used its classic Work Up/Crunch combo to take the Emolga down. One more rollercoaster ride (with a loop!), and one Fresh Water later, it was time to face Elesa.

And her two (one, but Emo was there too) SUPER ANNOYING EMOLGAS.

'Tranquill: Eh, shouldn't be so hard.'

After giving Herdier a Quick Claw, I approached Elesa and she said her little speech: "Ah, Kyle. How unexpected. And by unexpected I mean …seriously unexpected. What are you doing here? It's my lunch break! …But if you want a battle… so be it!"

Hir first pokemon was… the EMOLGA.

'Emo: Hi guys! I tried to tell Elesa your team, but I forgot to invent a translatinator. So, let's kick your butts! And for those whose body shapes mean you don't have any, I'll just kick you. So no below the belt, no AAAH!'

Herdier had used Crunch.

'Herdier: Does that count as legal?'

'Emo: Yes, it does. You're on!'

Emo used Volt switch and sent out… the other emolga. THAT Emolga Volt Switched out and got Emo into the red in HP. I used a Hyper Potion, then Work Up. Then a Crunch took out half of Emo's HP. Another Hyper, and a Crunch, which Critical Hit, causing Herdier to grow to level 26.

A giant electric zebra got Volt Switched in, which was the evolved form of Blitzle. Tranquill got switched in and sacrificed to heal Herdier, and Herdier got sent out and Crunched the Zebstrika, ACTUALLY FAINTING IT.

Herdier grew to level 27 after this, and the epic music began playing!

Dewott got sent in to train (he was level 25), and then Pansear got fainted. In came Herdier, to finally finish this off.

Which Herdier did, with two Crunches.

Emo's famous last words before I got the Bolt badge, and the TM for Volt Switch?

'Emo: CURSE YOU HERDIER THE HERDIER!'

**A/N: Elesa. I hate her now. I had to go through about 20 attempts to beat her, and none of them were pleasant. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this. I just couldn't resist ACTUALLY doing one.**

**So, review or I will have Elesa, with level 100s, face you. **

**Author powers rock.**


	21. Interlude: Privacy Demolition

**A/N: I think an interlude is a chapter with no actual story progression. However, it still must conform to the accepted levels of sarcasm, as stated in The Book of rules that no one ever reads. (I read it) So here is the next interlude!**

Interlude 21: Privacy Demolition

An angry Kyle got off his computer, stormed into his room, and turned on the DS.

**(Wait, what? That wasn't supposed to happen! I knew I shouldn't have given him a computer…)**

'Tranquill: Oh hi! Can we go kick the next gym's butt now?'

"No we can't," I replied. "I just read something incredibly disturbing. Either someone's stalking me, or one of you guys is publishing what's going on ONLINE. Where everyone can see it."

**(Oh. Well, let's see how this turns out…)**

'Pansear: ..!'

'Herdier: Wow. I have absolutely no clue who or why someone's doing this. Nothing at all.'

'Dewott: Was that sarcasm? No, it couldn't have been. I mean, how could Herdier know a person who's writing us all down?'

'Pansear: If arceus was in the game, I'd say Arceus, but I'm saying Reshiram instead. Maybe Reshiram?'

**(Not Reshiram, Giratina. My favorite legend.)**

"Look, your failed attempts at thinly veiled sarcasm are failing. Which one of you is publishing this on fanfiction? And does the DS even have Wi-fi?"

'Pansear: …not a direct internet browser…'

"Can you guys ANSWER me? I actually LIKE my privacy and you guys have totally blown it."

'Dewott: Except we haven't done anything. We're just seeing how this goes. There's a thing up there, (probably in the entralink) that's recording all this down!'

"Really funny."

'Tranquill: Seriously, we can't access the internet! How many times do I have to tell you!'

A slow smile spread across my face. "A hundred."

'Tranquill: Fine then! We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. (5) We didn't do it. …'

'Pansear: Will that actually convince you?'

"No. It's mainly a way to humiliate Tranquill."

'Tranquill: …didn't do it. (31) We didn't do it. (32) We didn't do it. (33) We didn't…'

"Ok, back to the main subj-"

'Tranquill: We didn't do it. (35) We didn't do it. (36)'

"-ect. Why would you even want to do this? I work HARD for digital privacy! And then someone goes and publishes the best aspect of my life online. He did a good job, I had to admit. Of stalking me."

"So my question is, once again, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? It can't be anyone else-"

(**Yes it can!)**

"-Because you're the only ones who know about yourselves. So which one of you did it?"

'Pansear: Not me.'

'Dewott: Not me.'

'Herdier: *hums to music* what? Oh, not me.'

'Tranquill: We didn't do it. (50) We didn't do it. (51) We didn't…'

" THEN WHO? Ok, if Arceus or Reshiram or-"

**Giratina.**

"Ok, thanks. If Giratina's readin- hey! Who said that?"

**Yep, I AM reading this. Now what did you want to say to me?**

"Uh, if you were recording this, to stop."

**(Nope. Not a chance. This story is way too fun for me to stop writing. And besides, how many main characters ask the author to stop writing?)**

…

…

"Hello? Can you stop?"

…

…

'Pansear: I think it's gone.'

**(Yeah, right.)**

"But… Giratina's from sinnoh. How did it manifest itself in the glitch?"

**(Author powers. ^_^)**

'Dewott: And all we know about that is it was someone named Giratina or something. And for all we know he could have been lying!'

'Pansear: NO YOU BROUGHT IT BACK UP! KYLE WI-'

"So then, again. Which one of you can change their name?"

'Tranquill: …We didn't do it. (70… almost there.) We didn't do it. (71) We didn't…'

'Pansear: Look, we didn't do it! Why don't you just ask the person on there to stop writing it!'

'Dewott: Yeah! So can you please stop yelling at us?'

"..fine."

**A/N: And that is why you never should leave your story open on a computer. Anyway, because this chapter is really short, I'm throwing in an additional chapter too. To read it: You can't! **

**It's because I'm evil. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this interlude. If you did, good for you. If you didn't, bad for you.**

**And there's one more button that everyone reading this MUST press. It's called the review button, and it's underneath this text. I want you to press it, and give me feedback. It's my master plan! MWAHA HA HA HA!. Once again, for dramatic effect! MWAHA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha… ha. **

**So anyway, review, and hopefully the next chapter will be up in two days instead of three! Yay for me, and you too!**

**Now press that review button.**

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	22. This bridge hasn't fallen yet

**A/N: IamRAWR: I update every 3 days, consistently. So in non-related news…**

**I GOT MENTIONED ON FACEBOOK! Thanks to Ashwolf.**

**One more thing: I got a PM asking me to stop writing this. Well, that gave me an idea: Keep on writing this. I'm the author, I can write all day if I wanted to. [/portal2reference thatneedstostayinchapter9]**

**One more thing: I've been forgetting to put disclaimers. So…**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laughing-related injuries that may occur as a result of reading this story._

**...Something's telling me that that's not a valid disclaimer, but that same part's also told me that eggs are plotting to take over the world. I don't listen to it really anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 22: This bridge hasn't fallen… yet

To Elesa's left was a switch, and that activated a car that brought me to the entrance of the gym. From there I headed out of the gym, to the left, healed, and headed left, out of Nimbasa.

But then Cheren popped from behind the gate and challenged me to a battle.

First up, was the ever-annoying Liepard.

'Liepard: Oh, hi. Did you know there's a bridge to the left?'

'Herdier: Wow. That's so amazing. I'm so glad you informed me, as it could really help me.'

Herdier's sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Liepard's head.

'Liepard: Glad to help you. Oh, and did you know that 1 percent of what I say is a lie?'

Herdier ignored this comment and used Crunch. It didn't do much damage, and Dewott got switched in. Dewott used two moves and brought the obnoxious feline down, growing to level 6.

Cheren wisely sent in Servine, but I, ever wiser, sent in Pansear.

Servine's first move was Leech Seed, and that combined with a Sitrus Berry made for a formidable healing combo.

'Pansear: BUT NOTHING CAN STOP THE MIGHT OF FLAME BURST! MWAHAHAHA-'

'The foe's Servine used Leaf Tornado! It's a critical hit! Pansear fainted!'

'Pansear: Hahaha… ha. Ow.'

'Dewott: You deserved that.'

Herdier came in for a Tackle, fainting… Herdier?

In came Tranquill, with a Quick Attack, growing to level 27 while poor Dewott was still 25. Age discrimination, anyone?

Next up of Cheren's was a Panpour.

After that what went up was the fainted pokemon total. Once for Tranquill, and once for Panpour.

What went down was the HP of Cheren's Tranquill, and also Dewott's HP.

And then up again came my money.

And then Elesa came in from the side.

Wait… what? She totally broke my up and down random elevator pattern!

'Dewott: …what? Where'd she come from?'

We all set off on the long journey to the bridge… but got interrupted by a random dude with spiky red hair.

'Dewott: Hey! Who dares stop us, the mighty pokemon group that needs to come up with a better name?'

'Elesa: This is Alder, the Unova region's Champion.'

*insert record scratch here*

Cheren asked why Alder would be goofing off instead of getting stronger, and Alder replied by asking what he could do after becoming Champion.

'Pansear: …On.. second… thought… (it's hard to speak while fainted) isn't… that… when… you beat…the game?'

'Dewott: Yeah! Let's see what Cheren has to say.'

Cheren replied "What else is there other than striving to get stronger?"

'Dewott: And there you have it folks, the entire concept of pokemon.'

If a sprite could muse, Alder would have been. "Becoming stronger, you say… I that alone enough of a goal? Hmmm."

'Dewott: And that's why you also have to complete the pokedex. Because it isn't enough of a goal, according to game freak.'

Alder called over two kids, and me and Cheren had a double battle against them, for the second time. After Cheren healed me, of course.

Preschoolers Sarah and Billy had… Herdier and Herdier! Go, Liepard and Herdier!

'Pansear: …now all we need is for Liepard to know surf to continue the kaleidoscope image.'

..Except both Herdiers ganged up on mine and fainted it. In came Dewott, and Razor shell! The foe's Herdier fainted! The other foe's Herdier questioned why the narrator/author/giratina is narrating as if s/he was the text box!

Dewott grew to level 27 in the midst of all this narrating, as well as the battle ending.

Alder talked more about sentimental nonsense, but Cheren being Cheren, he stubbornly insisted that "The Champion is the strongest of the strong! That's all there is to it." before leaving.

Alder just… stood there?

Farther to the left Elesa talked with the guy at the gate, and the Driftveil Drawbridge lowered with a really mighty 3D animation and a giant…

***KLANG!***

A couple of angry Klangs objected to their names being published and began assaulting the narrator, but that's another story.

Elesa had a TV gig, so she went off somewhere. Cheren walked onto the bridge grumbling about strength, leaving me, the poor little trainer, to cross it. Yay.

**About 2 steps later…**

The music was all bells, which kind of freaked Herdier out. It was at times like this that I wanted a Bik- oh wait, I already had one. I registered it to the Y button, overriding the Dowsing Machine, before hopping on, and rocking out to the catchy music.

…meaning no music. It stayed the bells even on my bike.

'Tranquill: You know, the driftveil bridge is falling down, falling down..'

'Dewott: AAAH! NURSERY RHYMES! AAaah. I'm joking.'

Tranquill continued to sing as I rode along. 'Driftveil bridge is falling down,' she sang. 'Even though there's an army of flying types supporting the weight and it's about 3 feet above the water!'

'Pansear: …that doesn't rhyme nor conform to the tune.'

'Tranquill: WHO CARES! WE'VE REACHED THE EDGE OF THE BRIDGE! NOW FOR A CHANGE IN MUSIC!'

I stepped off the brige…

And the chapter ended.

**A/N: Yep! And only one day in between too! A bit of pokemon theory was in here too. Did you like it? Review this chapter as usual, and next chapter we eat mutant ice cream cones while sliding into storage units!**

**No, really. And how do I know this?**

**Well… remember those disregarded spoiler alerts?**


	23. Icy Drifting

**A/N: Look, guys. Did you read chapter 21 at all? Towards the end? I'm not going to demolish Kyle's privacy even further by revealing his user name. Kudos to him for making an account here, though.**

**It's almost sad that I put in all these references and jokes and you don't get them. Most of you, that is.**

**But that won't make me stop writing. Flamers, try harder. So… here's chapter 23!**

Chapter 95: jodq qoweurwoer

**Uh, one sec. MISSINGNO! GET OFF MY COMPUTER! I don't care if you're skyping with 'M! Ok, I do care but it's on! You're kind of glitching it up! I don't know, buy a laptop or something. Amazon. But GET OFF!**

**There we go. …And let the next chapter commence! **

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laughing-related injuries that may occur as a result of reading this story._

Chapter 23: Icy Drifting

I stepped into Driftveil, and was assaulted. By the sheer epicness of the music. It was a mix between techno and, almost punk, with a perfect mix between the drums and main theme… and I'm probably going on a bit too far here. Let's just say it was awesome.

The actual bridge landed on a little island… that had another bridge. At the end of this one… was ANOTHER BRIDG- Nope, just the resident gym leader, Clay, talking with Cheren.

He explained that when they lowered the bridge, some Team Plasma guys escaped, and clay viewed it as our fault, though he did admit that it was a bit biased.

He walked off, but then turned around and told us that if we found them, we could challenge the gym.

'Pansear: But we'd have looked even if he hadn't asked!'

'Cheren: But really, we would have looked for Team Plasma even if he hadn't asked.'

Cheren walked off, leaving me to explore this new city. It had a central route going up and down, with a shop, some houses branching off, and a Pokemon Center. Down the road was the Cold Storage.

I first headed to heal and then checked out the shop. It sold the Bitter Herbs that are present in every game. Basically, it's a way of buying Max Revives, but they lower a pokemon's happiness when used because they're so bitter.

They also some Moomoo Milk, which I bought a dozen of, and someone gave me a Big Pearl.

Upwards from the shop was a little chapel on a hill. The inhabitants all said sentimental nonsense too, but luckily it was more happiness and friendship oriented instead of the 'pokemon are friends' nonsense that I hated by now.

And to the right of that was the gym, but someone blocked me. Typical.

'Tranquill: Hey, can we go to the Cold Storage? I want to try to make a SNOWMAN!'

'Dewott: But there's no snow…'

I headed down, crossed YET ANOTHER BRIDGE, and came face to face with a bunch of crates.

Oh yeah, and Youngster Kenneth, who sent out a Whirlipede. Go, Flame Burst!

Pansear grew to level 27, matching the rest of the team. But the battle wasn't over yet. The next pokemon was a Karrablast, a little blue beetle. Who still shared that weakness to Fire moves that all Bug types had. Bye!

There were a few gaps in the crates, and went down one to find a guy who gave me a Rocky Helmet. It pretty much does damage if you use a physical attack. Interesting concept.

A Worker was guarding a gap in a fence, through which… there was some tall grass. I stepped into it…

And got Pansear close level 28 due to the magical powers of fainting Audinos. One more step and I encountered a Herdier. It was level 22, though, and Pansear grew to level 28.

A Timburr and a trip to heal later, Cheren intercepted me, by saying that Team Plasma might be in the crate. So I stepped inside, with bad memories of the Ice Path plagueing me…

And found snow.

'Tranquill: Aha! Snow! Now to build my snowman!'

Tranquill came out of his pokeball and ran off, sliding on the ice. So… it was up to us to find him, and maybe Team Plasma as well.

I stepped forward and slid forward. "Whoa! Not another of these puzzles!"

'Pansear: Are they really that bad?'

'Dewott: Well, ice is fun, right?'

Dewott came out of his pokeball too, and slid- right into the way of a Worker, who challenged me.

One creamed Pansear and Timburr later, I slid forward some more and came across a ladder, going on top of the crates. Interesting game mechanic.

The next worker had a Panpour, and a Timburr, which gained Dewott access to level 28. Here I slid up, and to the left, before heading down and fitting neatly into a gap in the crates. Another ladder, and another worker. This time, though. He had a Gurdurr, a muscular ugly pokemon holding an I-beam. A Gurdurr holding a girder. Really, game freak?

Dewott fainted, so in came Herdier, who grew to level 28 despite the type disadvantage. A Worker guarded an Ice Heal, but I managed to slip by him. I Revived Dewott, used two of my Moomoo Milks and walked upwards.

'Herdier: Nolookoutfor-'

A '!' appeared over the worker's head, and he walked over and battled me.

'Herdier: …that guy. So, what does he have?'

He sent out… a scoop of ice cream? With a face? Named Vanillite?

'Dewott: …what? That… just is… odd.'

'Vanillite: Hey! At least I don't have GIANT HUMONGOUS WHISKERS!'

'Dewott: …I do? No I don't! DIE YOU STUPID ICE CREAM COME!'

It survived a Razor shell with about one HP and used Taunt.

'Vanillite: Come on! It's impossible for you to hit me, and someone as ugly too no less!'

'Pansear: …use tackle.'

Dewott did so and revealed the last of his pokemon: a Timburr. Dewott used Razor Shell! Dewott did it again! The worker decided that it would be wise to move out of the way! Good for him!The Klangs are now even madder at me for putting in so many exclamation points!

I slid upwards and found a Hyper Potion, and then battled a freezing Worker. He sent out a Timburr, but it used Bide. The Bide fainted Pansear, soliciting more taunting. I'm going to skip over it, and say that a Razor shell made him send out another Timburr. A Water Pulse left him with his last pokemon: another of those Vanillites. ANOTHER Water Pulse (and confusion damage) gave me the win, and I slipped to the left.

Cheren came from behind and noticed an open crate. So we went in.

Out of all the things I've seen in pokemon games, the most surprising thing ever got claimed by a ton of Plasma guys sitting in a crate freezing.

**I**

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	24. Plasmatic schematics

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laughing-related injuries that may occur as a result of reading this story. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 24: Plasmatic schematics

Inside the crate were 9 grunts huddling around one of the Seven Sages, Zinzolin, who was freezing. That was, until Cheren offered to show them the way outside. Of course, they battled us instead.

Cheren took care of one side, so I had to defeat 3 Grunts. Easy, right?

'Dewott: …you know, I'm kind of missing Tranquill's enthusiasm.'

'Herdier: Shut up and faint the Liepard!'

Dewott did shut up, and used Water Pulse, as Razor Shell was out of PP. It didn't really matter, as it fainted the Liepard and got Dewott to level 29. That was one down.

The next member had two pokemon, both as weak as the others. First was a Sandile, which fainted by Water Pulse. Next was a Watchog, which also fainted by Water Pulse, but not before getting a Super Fang off.

Dewott got switched in favor of Herdier, who relished the opportunity to listen to the music before Biting the foul Trubbish. It fainted obviously.

Cheren's sprite was still facing the first grunt. Weird. Oh yeah, and the middle one was up for me to battle. Once again, delegating the hard work to me, Game Freak.

This one had a Watchog, which went down in two Rock Smashes, and a Scraggy, which fainted Herdier. In came Dewott, who Water Pulsed the Scraggy and fainted it, coming really close to level 30.

By now Clay, as well as 4 workers, had arrived. We stepped to the side and they led the Plasma goons out. Clay thanked us, before letting us challenge the gym like he promised.

There was a pokeball on the floor, near where Zinzolin was, which contained a NeverMeltIce. Guess what type of move it increased.

And that was the scenario, crate empty, with all the action outside now, when Tranquill strolled in.

'Tranquill: So. What did I miss?'

[-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-]

Some well-placed ice blocks made a 1-way barrier to the entrance, and I hightailed it out of the Cold Storage to heal.

…only to come right back to train Pansear. And by train, I mean a kid spotter me and sent out a Joltik, a little electric bug. Flame burst fainted it. A Dwebble was next, a little rocky orange hermit crab. Flame Burst was also the way to go, and I won the battle with Pansear about a quarter of the way to level 29.

Behind the building where the Plasma dudes were hiding was a Heart scale, but a Minccino appeared to stop me. The little chinchilla pokemon that Juniper sent out in the intro.

Two bites and I was free to explore some more.

I tried summoning an Audino by doing the magical ritual of running up and down, but it didn't work, so I got bored and walked through the grass to find an Ether. And a Worker who sent out Pansage.

'Pansear: …completing the trio.'

'Dewott: …Why is it that you're always right and pointing out things before I can? WHY?'

Flame Burst caused the oh-so-familiar action of fainting to occur to both Pansage. Courtesy of Timburr, Pansear fainted too.

In came Herdier to dispatch the Timburr, with a Work Up and Crunch. Past him was some thick grass, but I didn't go in. I went to heal.

And then the Minccino from before appeared and tried to stop me. To no sucess, I might add.

Her buddy Herdier also tried to stop me, but I ran.

In the middle of the thick grass was a Protein, which raised the Attack of a pokemon. It was good, but that's not what I wanted.

'A wild Vanillite appeared!' read the text box, announcing the Vanillite that just appeared on the screen.

_That_'s what I wanted.

"Training time!"

'Tranquill: Yay, training!'

'Dewott: …it's necessary.'

'Herdier: Yeah! Let's kick Burgh's pokemon like Emo suggested!'

'Dewott: …that was almost as random as Tranquill. Good job, Herdier.'

After fainting it, I had a double battle with a Vanillite and a Herdier. Pansear and my Herdier got sent out. Herdier got to level 29 from this encounter, but at the same time damaged Herdier.

Afterwards, a wild Timburr and Timburr appeared! I accidentally healed Pansear when I meant to get Herdier, but they both Rock Threw at Pansear. They managed to faint Pansear, and Tranquill Quickly Attacked the Timburr, fainting it, and I had another trip to heal.

But this time I headed to the gym out of curiosity, not expecting what was in front: Ghetsis and lots of Grunts.

'Herdier: No! No! Not the creepy music again!'

Ghetsis threatened to capture all of Driftveil in exchange for Zinzolin... so Clay let the members captured go. After all, what could he do? Then he headed back into the gym, and Cheren walked off to train.

I headed in, got my dose of Fresh Water from the gym guy, and set off to make Clay into Aluminum. No, that's Bauxite. Make Clay into bricks, then. Or something that describes how he'd lose… wait, did that get recorded?

**I**

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	25. Quartering Clay

**A/N: I now have 25 chapters! Woohoo! **

…**Yes, I know the word count is more important. I'm just happy. It's always good to stick to something, and 25 is a good milestone.  
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_**Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laughing-related injuries that may occur as a result of reading this story. Read at your own risk!**_

Chapter 25: Quartering Clay

I got my dose of Fresh Water, and walked forward onto a lift. There were two buttons, an up, and a down. I pressed A in front of the down, and the lift slid down into a big shaft!

The shaft had several lifts, and girders separating them. It was all dug into the ground, and you could see the sediment going down farther than the eye can see or the screen could display.

'Tranquill: Ooh… scary. It's far down there!'

'Dewott: It is not scary! You're safe balancing on girders a foot wide above a gigantic drop!…Okay, maybe it is.'

The lift I was in was connected to two others, one of them being blocked by a cone. The other was blocked by a trainer. Who had a Palpitoad, a little poliwhirl wannabe with bumps on its head. Big ones. That made Tranquill's Air Cutter not do so much damage. OK, maybe it was the high Special Defense, but it sounds better. Muddy Water took out most of his health, and then the Palpitoad set up an Aqua Ring to heal his HP every turn.

We took turns, Muddy Water, Air Cutter. Uproar, Air Cutter. Muddy Water, faint.

…What? Tranquill fainted? Go, Dewott! Dewott used Razor Shell! It actually fainted the Palpitoad! Go, Drilbur! Go, Pansear! Go, angry mob of Klangs!

Pansear Flame Bursted the Drilbur, a drilling mole with steel claws, and grew to level 29, winning the battle for me. A trip to heal, and I headed down to the second level. That had another lift going up, in the sight line of a worker with a Sandile, Air Cut, and then Tranquill became confused due to Swagger.

'Tranquill: Oh hey! How'd the sandile GET ONTO ME! GET OFF!'

'Tranquill tried to peck the sandile!' read the text box. 'Tranquill hurt itself in confusion!'

'Dewott: Hey! Tranquill! Snap out of it! (and that's almost for sure going to fail)'

'Tranquill snapped out of its confusion! The foe's Sandile fainted!' read the text box.

'Pansear: …No comment.'

'Dewott: O_O'

Next up was a Drilbur. It fainted Tranquill. In came Pansear, with the 1 hit KO Flame Burst!

…make that almost KO, requiring another Crunch to faint.

'Tranquill: …I'm feeling real déjà vu. Did this just happen?'

'Pansear: No, couldn't have been two trainers with the same pokemon and tranquill fainting twice.'

Another trip to heal, and I headed back to where I was. Left from the trainer was some girders, and a lift. But blocking it was a trainer! He had a Krokorok, a brown and black lizard. The evolution of Sandile. The Desert Croc- OK, that's enough, mental pokedex.

The Krokorok led with Swagger, making Tranquill confused.

'Tranquill: What? How do these guys fit on me? This doesn't make any sense! He's way bigger than me! This is totally defying the laws of physics! Someone sue Aperture! And I don't even feel any heavier!'

'Pansear: …Wow. That totally fits the word confusion.'

Tranquill continued on her rant. 'So then WHAT THE *CENSORED* IS GOING ON HERE? …Did I just say censored?'

Tranquill managed to use Air Cutter successfully mid-rant. Twice. Before fainting, putting an end to my laughing.

In came Pansear, who Flame Bursted the Krokorok and brought on a new round of déjà vu.

This lift was connected to two others. I took the top one, bringing me up and facing another trainer with a Drilbur. The Fresh Water got used, to no effect as Pansear fainted. In came Herdier, who fainted.

A trip to heal was intercepted by a Sandile, a Palpitoad and another Sandile, all of which got Razor Shelled, getting to level 31. A random guy also gave me an Expert Belt. After this it was time to… Ugh, I still haven't figured out a good pun for Clay, which is kind of disappointing.

The elevator passed lots of fossils and sediment on the way down, stopping at a gate. The gate opened with some more angry Klangs storming off, leading down to a giant mine. Jewels came on conveyor belts and got carried up, and a couple of cones littered the place. And in the middle of it all:

Were the stairs.

But beyond that was Clay! And I walked up, saved, and pressed A with great aplomb, without considering whether it was possible to push a button with great aplomb.

Let the awesome battle music begin!

Clay sent out a Krokorok, and I sent out Tranquill.

Krokorok started out with the classic swagger, and Tranquill managed to pull off an Air Cutter despite the confusion.

Next up was Torment, which just makes Tranquill unable to use the same move twice in a row. Tranquill still managed to pull off another Air Cutter, getting Krokorok down to under half of HP. Next attack: Detect, avoiding all damage.

And then Air Cutter, but she succumbed to Swagger. Not the confusion, though, pulling off the third confused Air Cutter of the battle, and a Quick Attack finished him off. Or, would have.

DARN YOU HYPER POTIO- Quick Attack critical hit?

Clay used another Hyper Potion, and an Air Cutter and Quick Attack finished him off, getting Tranquill to a well-deserved level 28.

Next up: Excadrill, a giant metal-clawed mole wearing a metal hood. Tranquill never stood a chance against Rock Slide.

In came Dewott, who Razor shelled him once before succumbing to Rock Slides. Pansear came in to Revive Dewott, and Herdier gave him a Moomoo Milk. I also had time to Revive Pansear before Herdier fainted.

Dewott came in, and in one razor-tipped slash fainted the giant metal mole. Pansear also got to level 30. The last pokemon of Clay's?

The ground type emolga, Palpitoad.

'Dewott: …OK, that's ugly.'

It used Bulldoze, a earthquake wannabe, putting Dewott into the red.

'Pansear: You can do it! I know it's cliche but you can do it! Hit him with a Razor Shell!'

Unfortunately, the random number generator (RNG) had other ideas, as Bulldoze got a critical hit.

It was all down to Pansear….

Who revived Dewott and fainted. Dewott used Razor Shell and in one fell swoop- or swing, winning the battle for all of us.

Clay gave me the Quake Badge in that neat animation, but forgot to give me the TM, instead wanting me to head to the cave on route 6. So I headed up, past all the sediment, to find the cone gone.

'Pansear: …Why…couldn't…have…you….have…done…that…earlier?'

'Tranquill: I…could…have…eaten…it…I…was…hungry…'

'Dewott: HUNGRY?'

And that was how I exited the gym, with my pokemon arguing on the edibility of traffic cones.

**A/N: Nothing to say or see here. This isn't the author's note you're looking for. Move along, to the review button. Move along!**

**I**

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	26. LEARNING to Fly in style

Chapter 26: LEARNING to fly in style

I exited from the gym, healed, and tried to head to Route 6. Key word: Tried.

"Oh, hi, Kyle!"

Bianca ambushed me from behind, and battled me out of nowhere!

Her first pokemon was a Herdier, who Intimidated Tranquill.

'Tranquill: I'm not scare- AAAH! Don't you show me that face aga- AAH!'

'Herdier: …'

'Dewott: You know, Tranquill's being more and more random.'

'Pansear: We have a battle! It's not the time to muse over questions! Or is it… when is it not the time to do that… nowhere? Or is it…'

'Dewott: …maybe you should listen to your own advice.'

After all this discussion took place, Tranquill Air Cut the Herdier, not doing much damage.

"My pokemon can take that!" said Bianca. "I'm sure! Well, probably..."

'Dewott: Can it take a Quick Attack? (hint hint)'

Tranquill used Quick Attack! It did the same amount of damage as Air Cutter, getting Herdier down to half HP! The foe's Herdier used take down, leaving Tranquill with 3 HP and a lot of EXP due to recoil!

Dewott got sent in and Razor Shelled Pignite, the evolved Tepig. Needless to say, the bipedal fire pig fainted.

In came Pansage, and in came Pansear. In came a faint.

Bianca's last pokemon was a Musharna. Pansear stayed in and Bit it once, but Musharna Hypnotized him. Hypnosis makes the pokemon sleep, and so Pansear was now sleeping and wouldn't respond to attacks.

So in came Herdier, who was awake, who Crunched Musharna, and won the battle, while Pansear commented on my overusage of commas, which isn't such a bad thing, unless it drags on like this.

As a reward, I got the coveted HM. For Fly. Fly! Guess what this does! It lets a pokemon fly! To other cities! And the player (or the sprite) can fly ON it!

'Tranquill: Yay! Teach me it! Now!'

First, I headed up and found an ultra ball. But THEN I pressed Bag, scrolled down to the TM list and taught Tranquill fly instead of Air Cutter.

"Ok, good. Now I can use you as a beast of burden to fly me to Nuvema town! I'm so evil."

'Tranquill: Yay! I love being worked mercilessly! …wait…'

'Dewott: …?'

'Herdier: that is just wrong. Is it even possible for Tranquill to sense sarcasm?'

'Pansear: You know, I don't think so.'

I landed in front of my house, and headed to the lab, where Juniper rated my pokedex, and then gave me the TM for False Swipe. It will never faint a pokemon, leaving it at 1 HP, useful for captures.

Tranquill Flew me back to Driftveil, where I healed, and then set off onto route 6 for the second time. But then CHERE- Nope. J

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Route 6 consisted of a river, and 3 bridges crossing it. Oh yeah, and the 1-way ledges blocking me from cruising up, and forcing me to head left, across the first bridge, and into a patch of grass.

In that patch of grass lived several pokemon, one of them across from Tranquill on the battle screen. Its name was Deerling, and it was a little brown deer with a flower on its head.

It was also fainted, thanks to Tranquill getting a 1 hit KO on Fly.

Some of the other inhabitants that were strewn about fainted in a neat little trail were another Deerling, a scientist's Deerling, a little blue bug called Karrablast, a Ranger's Emolga and Deerling, and a Swadloon, a Sewadle with leaves pulled around it as a means to evolve.

At the head of that path, kicking up grass, were me and my newly leveled-up level 29 Tranquill and level 30 Herdier.

The path led past the river, and to a building blocked by a guy and his DEERLING. Aren't there enough of those out there already?

Anyway, next to the building was a Hyper Potion; and to the left of it was a quaint spot containing marshy puddles and tall grass. But before I explored that I went inside.

Inside, a scientist explained that this was the Season Research Lab. He also explained that apparently Deerling's appearance changes depending on the season, and then explained that they were busy and couldn't catch any Deerling.

'Pansear: …they want us to go capture Deerlings for them? That just sounds weird.'

'Dewott: Well, should we?'

"Uh, I think not."

'Tranquill: Why not? I LIEK DEERLINGS! BETTER THAN MUDKIPS!'

'Pansear: You spelled like wrong. And why do you not like mudkips?'

'Herdier: IT'S A MEME, OK? DON'T QUESTION IT!'

I decided I was too lazy to assist the scientists and so headed left, found an Elixer, and just happened to have a Scientist battle me. Which wasn't a big deal.

Oh wait, half my team was fainted.

Luckily, the other half, AKA Pansear fainted her Deerling, and a trip to heal later (1 way ledges are awesome when you're going the right direction) we were in the exact same spot as we were at the beginning of this sentence.

Past the scientist was a bridge, and past that was a clump of grass with a puddle, with a lady walking around it. I had to pass through it to get to the cave that Clay mentioned, but that was past the clump of grass.

So can we get past the route and get Clay's TM without doing stupid things?

…on second thought, probably not.

**I**

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	27. Seeding the rocks

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laughing-related injuries that may occur as a result of reading this story. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 27: Seeding the rocks

The patch of grass ahead of me contained a little puddle, a pokeball, and most importantly, a way forward.

I walked up to the pokeball, and pressed A…

And it JUMPED. And then BATTLED me.

'Tranquill: AAAH! Attack of the mutant pokeballs!'

The battle screen showed a Foongus, a little mushroom pokemon whose top looked like a pokeball, for reasons unknown.

'Dewott: …yes. A mutant pokeball mushroom pokemon. What now, a gear pokemon or something?'

'Pansear: There's not a gear pokemon. That's just crazy.'

Fly avoided a Bide and fainted the Foongus, and also a Ranger's Miccino and EMOLGA, winning me a berry. One more Foongus and Tranquill was level 30, on par with the rest of the team.

The ranger was in a second puddle, and from upwards the path went on a bridge.

To the north was some REALLY tall grass, but to the side was a building where they healed you. Convenient.

There was also a guy that said that in Misaltron cave, on this route, there was a pokemon called Cobalion, a legend. If you could use Surf, you could get him.

'Herdier: Nope, don't have Surf.'

'Dewott: Don't even bother trying, Tranquill.'

'Tranquill: …how did you know that I was going to eat cheese while flying across?'

'Dewott: uh, guess?'

I went through the tall grass, avoiding Deerlings, until I saw Clay. Clay (or his Krokorok) Cut down a web made by a "Galvantula" and giving me my well-deserved (in my opinion) TM, Bulldoze. And so, our fearsome party went into the cave of Chargestones. …whatever those were.

Inside the cave, it was all blue, with stray sparks around and N up fro- wait, N?

Before I could reach him, however, a Klink battled me. It was pretty much two gears with faces meshed together, eternally spinning.

'Dewott: What? THEY DO have a gear pokemon!'

'Pansear: What, did you really think you could get away with tempting fate?'

'Dewott: …yes.'

Before I could reach N, however, two people mysteriously appeared! They carried me over to N before disappearing.

'N: Ah, yes. That was the Shadow Triad, just now. Ghetsis enlisted them in Team Plasma. They prepped the Galvantula nest at the cave entrance.'

He turned to the side. 'N: Chargestone cave… I like this place.'

'Tranquill: I don't! Can you just let us go?'

'N: No, I can't! Let me finish my speech! If people didn't exist, this would be an ideal place. You have been chosen, you know. Does it surprise you I said that?'

I pressed Yes.

'Of course. Such news should be a surprise. I told Ghetsis about you and your friends.'

'Dewott: POKEMON! WE ARE POKEMON! …and friends too, I guess…'

'N: after I did, he apparently used the Triad to find out about you. Cheren is pursuing strength.'

'Pansear: Why are you bringing up Cheren now?'

'N: …just go with me here. Poor Bianca has faced the sad truth that not everyone can become stronger. And you are more of a neutral presence. Which is apparently a good thing. Team Plasma will be waiting for you ahead. Ghetsis wants to see what kind of Trainer you are.'

'Dewott: And not you?'

'N: No, I also am. But it sounds better and more sinister when I say Ghetsis does. And sinister is a piece of the puzzle of doing something.'

'Dewott: You're better than Kyle at nonsense!'

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" I asked.

'Herdier: It's a compliment. Compliment!'

N walked off, leaving me alone in the cave.

The cave consisted of big blue rocks that sparked, and smaller ones that floated and could be pushed. Of course, I didn't know that, and approached one of the smaller rocks with curiosity.

But then Bianca showed up and told me that if you push the rock towards a big one, it would move. An interesting puzzle.

But then Juniper appeared, changing the music to her upbeat one. She explained that she studied Klink, and then gave me the Lucky Egg, an item that increases EXP by 1.5. Woohoo!

…and then they just stood there, leaving me to go through the cave without them.

The first moveable rock was pushed to the side, letting me head upwards. But the RNG had other plans: a wild Ferroseed appeared. Ferroseed looked pretty much like a metal ball with eyes that had green spikes on it.

"I want to catch it!" I decided. "Ferroseed?"

'Ferroseed: Yes? Wait a minute… wot's going on? There's a voice in the sky!'

"Wot? With an O? Is this supposed to be an accent?"

'Ferroseed: Wot's an accent?'

'Dewott: It's how you talk. So do you want to come with us?'

'Tranquill: Yeah! Come! We can be friends!'

'Ferroseed: …uh, ohkay. Wot are you going to do-OW! Why'd you do that? Take this!'

Tranquill had used Quick Attack, and Ferroseed responded with Pin Missile. One Quick Ball got thrown, but Ferroseed popped out and nearly fainted Tranquill. A Moomoo Milk and a Fly later, Ferroseed had most of his health down. Another Quick Ball, and Ferroseed was caught!

"Ferroseed, do you have a name? Or can I call you... um, thorn?"

'Ferroseed: Wot? Why Thorn? I'm Ferroseed! Wot would make you want to call me that?'

"Ok then, Ferroseed it is."

Ferroseed was level 24, a Grass and Steel type, and knew Curse, Metal Claw, Pin Missile, and Gyro ball. Gyro ball did more damage the slower the pokemon using it is, making it an awesome move for Ferroseed's 10 speed, and Curse lowered speed to increase Attack and Defense. The other two were just normal moves. Overall, Ferroseed looked like a great addition, although it was level 24. The only bad thing about it was the fact that it couldn't run from battles, but a given Smoke Ball solved that.

I headed out of the cave, back to the healing house, and then back into the cave.

Up from there was a Joltik, and an item blocked by a floating stone. I pushed it to the right, and it revealed a gap in the ledge. The item turned out to be a Parlyz heal, which heals paralysis.

There were two routes: the top route, and the bottom. The top route had a Heal Ball, and the bottom had a Scientist. Below him were two floating stones blocking a Revive.

'Ferroseed: Wot's a Revive?'

'Pansear: Have you ever gone outside the cave?'

'Ferroseed: …no. But I want to. That's why I trust Trainer!'

"My name's Kyle!"

The Scientist had just a Klink, and a combo of Ferroseed's ability, Iron Barbs, which damages the opponent when Ferroseed's attacked, and Pin Missle fainted it, getting Ferroseed its first victory.

Past the scientist were more floating rocks, an Ace Trainer, and somewhere in the depths of the cave was Team Plasma. With the almighty Ferroseed at his side, can Kyle beat them?

Well, not until the next chapter.

**A/N: And yes, my avatar has updated with Ferroseed. And I will be updating it anytime someone evolves/joins the team. Do you like how I portrayed Ferroseed? **

**And don't forget to hit that button below!**

**I**

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	28. Grinding the rocks

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for choking, heart attacks, riots over the fact that this fic is going on far too long, or any other laughing-reated injuries that may result from the reading of this. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 28: Grinding the rocks

We continued on our trek through the cave, Pansear explaining everything to Ferroseed, who asked questions on everything. From items to what types pokemon were, the questions barely stopped.

Even in a battle, Ferroseed was still asking questions.

'Ferroseed: Wot type is an Archen?'

'Pansear: It's a flying type. Just about every single bird-looking one is.'

'Ferroseed: So why's it blue? And yellow and red and looks like a dodo?'

'Dewott: …and you don't wonder why you look like a metal seed?'

'Ferroseed: No, wot's wrong with that?'

The Archen nearly fainted the switched-in Tranquill with Acrobatics, but took a Quickattack pretty well. Herdier got in a Crunch before Reviving Tranquill. Tranquill used a Potion on Ferroseed before getting one last Quick Attack off came Pansear, who finally managed to beat the Archen.

'Ferroseed: Wot's bad about having half your team fainted?'

Oh yeah. That. Was I willing to go back down to the healing house?

Yes.

I walked out of the cave and began the trek down to the house.

'Tranquill: Yay! Next time, can I walk out on my hands? And see the world upside down? I heard it in a song!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? You have wings! And this… I thought the world was like the cave. It's awesome! Wot's that green stuff?'

'Pansear: No! That's tall grass! You cant-'

Ferrothorn took one step into the REALLY tall grass, and was confronted on the battle screen by a Deerling.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Oh… the grass has pokemon? Oh… '

Ferrothorn's Gyro Ball did about half damage, and a Super Potion and Gyro ball later it was fainted.

"Hey, Ferroseed? Let's do some grinding out here!" I said.

'Tranquill: May I suggest a montage?'

'Dewott: …what?

'Pansear: …'

'Ferroseed: Wot's a montage?'

'Pansear: *facepalms*'

'Ferroseed: Wot's a facepalm?'

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**The closest you can get to a montage in a fanfic later… (whatever that is)**

Several Deerlings, Karrablasts, Foonguses, and lots of senseless violence of the pokemon type later, Ferroseed was level 30, everyone who WAS 30 31, and everyone was happy. Until I said that we had to go back in the cave again.

'Tranquill: WHAAAAT? YOU WANT ME TO GO IN THE CAVE OF DOOM?'

'Pansear: Is this really worth getting freaked out about?'

'Tranquill: OF COURSE IT IS! IT CONTAINS ELECTRIC TICKS AND GEARS WITH FACES!

'Dewott: …and no mention of the metal seeds?'

I had gone up to the entrance by now.

'Tranquill: Oh yeah. AND METAL SEEDS TOO! THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING ME IN THAT CAV-'

'Ferroseed: Wot's up with Tranquill? We're in the cave!'

'Tranquil: WHAAAT? (Darth Vader style) -'

'Dewott: How does that go on for so long?'

**Once again the same thing the narrator used last time to get out of the cave later…**

We were at the same place that we were before the grinding happened.

I pushed two rocks aside and headed down some stairs, pushed a rock, and Juniper and Bianca came over. They were almost done collecting data, and apparently Klink didn't exist more than 100 years ago.

'Ferroseed: …Yeah! Mom said the Klinks came late, and so they are kind of shy. But that's gone by now, thankfully!'

'Dewott: …Yeah! Ferroseed just said a full sentence without the word Wot!'

'Ferroseed: …wot?'

…they just stayed there like last time; and I headed down, towards a bridge. Before I could get on, however, the Shadow Triad, with their third member now, appeared.

'Ferroseed: Wot? How did they appear?'

'Dewott: …don't question game mechanics.'

The carried me across the bridge before vanishing. Uh… ohkay?

Above me there was a Hyper Potion, and below me was a moveable rock blocking some stairs. Also blocking it was a Scientist, with a Klink. To the very left of the stairs was an Iron, which increases the defense of a pokemon, and that was it for this floor.

When I reached the lower floor, the thing I (Herdier, actually) noticed was the music. It was lower in key, and sounded more sinister, if that was possible.

The next thing I noticed was that two guys gave me Nuggets, able to be sold for money.

The left route had nothing but a way back, and so I headed back to the Nugget Bros. and headed up. What was up there… were Plasma Grunts!

Oh yes, and a Timer ball, which wasn't so useful, but the Doctor was. He agreed to heal everyone- but only if we could beat him in a battle. He had a Swadloon, but it was no match for the power of Ferroseed's Gyro Ball.

Like he agreed, he healed everyone.

So now… it was time. To face the stupid Plasma Grunts. Nah, doesn't have that epic feel.

'Ferroseed: Wot's Team Plasma?'

'Dewott: They are a bunch of people who don't like putting pokemon in pokeballs. So they steal pokemon to do that.'

'Ferroseed: Oh, so they're evil?'

"YES!"

The grunt's Scraggy, Sandile and Watchog also got fainted by Ferroseed, who grew to level 31. As I headed back to heal… a Tynamo appeared!

The electric eel-like pokemon has a 2 percent chance of appearing, and I had finally found one.

…but then I pressed run by mistake.

"WHAT? Darn! I wanted one!"

'Ferroseed: Wot's a Tynamo?'

"It's that thing I ran from! That you were battling! That I wanted to catch!"

'Herdier: …let's just wait. Don't get worked up about it. You can catch another whenever you want! And besides, downstairs you have a much higher chance of finding another!'

"Ok. Thanks, Herdier. But… when did you get so good at motivational speeches?"

**A/N:**

**So, have a happy December!**

**And in two days for B/W there's a movie Victini event over wi-fi. Make sure to get it!**

**And to review, too. Review!**

**I**

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	29. Getting away from the rocks

**A/N:We are almost at 30 chapters! Once again, thanks everyone for sticking with this and continuing to review (hint hint). Next up: An interlude. I won't give too much away, but three letters should sum things up: PDW. ^_^**

_Zzzp2 is still not responsible, however much you may want him to be, for any choking, heart attacks, or laughing-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 29: Getting away from the rocks

Team Plasma really needs better pokemon.

I mean, they give idiots level 28 Scraggys and expect them to win against EV trained trainer pokemon.

And on top of that, they steal pokemon! Which is the exact opposite of Team Plasma's goal!

The Scraggy was obviously no match for Ferroseed, powering through him with ease.

The next Grunt had a Trubbish.

'Tranquill: OK, stinky trash bag, PREPARE TO DIE! TAKE MY FLY!'

'Dewott: …that motto needs work. Take my fly? Air Cutter would fit better.'

'Tranquill: Cut me some slack, OK? I made that up on the spot!'

The newly sent out Liepard also took Tranquill's Fly, fainting in one hit. Tranquill grew to level 31 from this.

'Oh no. Oh no. Plasmaaa!' said the grunt.

'Pansear: …that's worse than Space!'

'Ferroseed: Wot's Space?'

'Pansear: A core. Don't ask, it's a complicated reference you probably won't get.'

A trip to heal, and it was time. To face more Plasma grunts! (woohoo.)

The next grunt… had two Trubbishes. The one after that… had a Watchog and Sandile.

When Tranquill fainted the Sandile, however, she got displayed in that oh so familiar orange tube.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Tranquill is evolving!'

Tranquill got cut up into swirly bits, and reformed into a more… birdly bird. She had a bit of a tuft of fur at the top of its head, and it had brown covering her belly.

'Ferroseed: Congratulations, Tranquill! You evolved into Unfezant!'

'Unfezant: …you know what? I think I looked better as a Tranquill. But now my name means I'm not fazed by anything! YIPPI- AAH A JOLTIK!'

'Pansear: …I saw that coming.'

'Ferroseed: Me too! Wot's wrong when tra-Unfezant's so predictable?'

'Unfezant: Nothing's wrong with me! NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY!'

I found a Thunderstone before heading back and healing. Also, I switched Herdier in front of the party, so she could take down a Grunt's Liepard

I now had a choice: head downstairs, or continue facing the Grunts. Note that the cave is designed so that if you go down you have to come back up and face the Grunts.

I battled a Grunt with a Sandile and Watchog, and Herdier grew to level 32.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Herdier is evolving too?'

'Unfezant: I don't know. …wait, is that a beard?'

Yes, Herdier's evolution, Stoutland, had two giant tufts of fur drooping down to ground level, almost like a giant mustache.

'Stoutland: Ok, I'm also regretting evolution. I'M A GIRL! GIRLS DON'T HAVE MUSTACHES! ENABLE FREAK OUT MODE!'

'Pansear: It's OK, calm down. You're a pokemon. Pokemon have weird body forms, and stereotypes of their own. If you didn't have one, it would be weirder. So just accept it, OK?'

'Stoutland: …Ok. Thanks.'

I headed up the stairs and left, to a Doctor. The Doctor was actually a Scientist with a Klink. No problem for Pansear!

Down was a guy with a Whimsicott, a giant brown thing with a giant cottonball on its back, and also a Grass type. Flame Burst. Next up was a Tirtouga, a blue turtle. Feroseed got this one, but not without taking a lot of damage. As my reward for beating him, I got a Magnet. It upped the power of electric-type moves.

To the RIGHT, was… an emolga?

'Emo: Hi, Kyle! Random cameo appearance! '

'Pansear: …Random is right. Cameo, though? Really?'

Emo continued talking. 'Emo: Anyway, you're probably wondering why I'm here. Well, I found out something that could help you, and as much as I hate you I have a sense that you have to save the world in the future. For some reason. So, I have this tip: There's this weird guy N, and he's coming to-'

N's sprite walked up from behind. 'Weird? What is with pokemon not liking me?'

'Emo: Aaah! What is with no one liking my speeches?'

Emo ran behind my sprite, and N walked up.

'N: You made it through the cave? Trainers have taken the purity of here and turned it gray… That is unforgiveable!'

'Stoutland: …it wasn't that pure to begin with. And why is that unforgiveable?'

'N: I will separate pokemon and people, and black and white will be clearly distinct!'

'Pansear: …Sequel alert.'

'N: Only then will Pokemon become perfect beings!'

'Unfezant: BUT WE'RE NOT PERFECT! AND NEVER HAVE BEEN! LISTEN TO ME NOW, RANDOM FREAK N! WE DO NOT NEED SEPERATION! IF YOU WANT TO MAKE POKEMON HAPPY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BACK OFF! WE LIKE BATTLES! WE LIKE THEM! AND IF THERE'S NO TRAINERS, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT? WHY DO YOU THINK WE ATTACK HUMANS? TO GET CAPTURED! LISTEN TO ME!'

'Emo: …you almost rivaled my speech. Maybe you're better than I thought…'

N seemed taken aback by this. 'N: … … …but that is my dream, a dream I must fulfill. It is other pokemon's dreams too. Maybe not yours, but you are… in the… minority… ...My friends, let's battle so I can ask you something…'

N battled me with his new Plasma entry. His first pokemon was a Boldore, which fainted Pansear. Dewott came in and Water Pulsed the Boldore, fainting it. Next up was a Joltik, and in came Stoutland,

'N: …Joltik… do you? …what do you…?'

Two Crunches fainted the Joltik, and next up was a Ferroseed. Tranquill used two Flys, and a Quick Attack finished him off.

N's last pokemon was a Klink, who got Crunched by Stoutland.

'N: …Why? Is it impossible for me to win while feeling …bad… about being a trainer?'

Then Bianca and the professor showed up, seeing N for the first time. N, unfortunately, walked off with no comment.

Juniper went back to collect some more data, and Bianca followed, leaving me free to head out to Misaltron.

'Emo: Oh! Oh! I'm coming too to help drive you crazy! If you can withstand me, you can withstand N's nonsense!'

'Stoutland: …oh. This could be a long trip…'

Ok, I headed out to misaltron as free as you could be with a crazy Emolga following you.

**A/N: This chapter was both fun and moving. N begins to question his beliefs, and I had a fun time writing that. Emo makes a cameo, and we finish the Rocks arc! Yay!**

**Next up: Another of those interludes. What is in store for our (mostly) sane group?**

…**REVIEWS!**

**I**

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	30. Interlude: I dream, therefore I am

**A/N: A quick new chapter! Yep, the PDW is the Pokemon Dream World. What (mis)adventures will we have? Will we get a new teammate? How will the other pokemon see it?**

**I don't exactly know, but you all get to find out in this interlude. Enjoy!**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, injuries from trying to get into the dreamwold and sleepwalking, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Interlude 30: I'm dreaming, therefore I am.

"So, guys? Before we head into Nimbasa, there's something I want to try." I spoke up.

'Unfezant: …Can it wait? I'm kind of tired. Or is that low on HP..? I can't tell.'

"Well, that's good. It's the dream world. You know what that is, right? It's a website that you can send a pokemon from the game to, and then you can take items from there down to here. And pokemon too!"

'Emo: …so Unfezant is going to go to sleep online? What about privacy! Do you have a firewall?'

"Wrong type. So anyway… If I press Online on the C gear, then game sync…"

I did so, and was greeted by a Musharna picture sleeping as the DS connected to wi-fi.

'Dewott: …WAIT! How are we going to see it?'

'Stoutland: Yeah! I'm curious too!'

"Well, can't you guys use the DS's camera?"

'Dewott: …not on our own. We can see the screen, though.'

'Emo: Hey! Guys! Use the Xtransciever!'

'Dewott: The what?'

'Emo: …really? Well, I guess I just have to educate you losers. The Xtransciever can be used to video chat with other games. It's on the C gear under Wireless. Happy?'

'Tranquill: Yes!'

"Ok, while you guys argued I got it all set up, entered the code, connected the account and everything."

'Dewott: …do we really argue that slow?'

'Stoutland: Apparently.'

"Now… who will go? Unfezant?"

'Unfezant: Yes?'

"Just in case this crashes the server, I do not want you to talk while dreaming. Just in case."

'Unfezant: …so now I fall asleep?'

"Yeah, pretty much. Bye!" I said with a fake cheeriness as I selected Unfezant, and a hand took her, put her on a bed, and covered her with a sheet that fell out of nowhere. After a save, I pressed Wireless on the bottom screen, where the C gear was, and then Xtransciever.

"Can you all see that?"

'Emo: Yep! Wow, you look… not as good as I imagined.'

'Herdier: DO NOT INSULT HIM!'

'Dewott: Da!'

'Emo: You know russian?'

'Dewott: …a little. I was just reading a russian dictionary.'

'Emo: …you read dictionaries? Why not The Economist or something GOOD?'

'Dewott: …because we didn't have the economist in the Nacrene Gym Library.'

"Ok, guys? Stop arguing and tell me whether you can see the screen now."

'Dewott: Yep!'

'Stoutland: Yes.'

'Emo: Of course, duh!'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Ah, yes.'

'Pansear: Yep. Now let's see Tranquill dream in a giant SQL java flash whatever thing!'

The website was arranged with a map of the world in the center, with various buttons adorning the bottom. The one I was interested, however, was the purple Dream World button.

I scrolled down to click it, and was greeted with a rotating wheel; a loading screen.

Once this was done, I skipped the introductory video, mashed the mouse to get through Fennel's explanation, and saw a little island. It had a few trees, a little pond, a dome house, and Unfezant. Unfezant was just… floating there. When I put my mouse over her, a little pop up with three dots, HGSS style, popped up over her head. There were two arrows on either side of the screen, to be used to go to other places on the island.

'Emo: Unfezant looks so cute! …and kind of weird. Who drew this?'

'Dewott: …I think… morimoto? No… Ken Surigama or something? Sugimori. Yeah.'

I pressed right and saw the Share Shelf. The basic premise was that you could put items, and they would be traded by others. A neat gimmick.

I didn't have any items to put, so I pressed right again and saw the Dream Bridge. It was a rainbow bridge that wound through the clouds and to another island with a tree.

'Stoutland: So to get there you go on Rainbow Road? Are there any Latikus to catch you if you fall off?'

'Pansear: We've had more than enough references to everything already. And Tranquill's dreaming this?'

'Emo: Unfezant. But yep! What clicheness!'

I clicked there, pressed Yes, and after a loading screen, the screen showed a castle. The camera displayed the words 'You arrive at the Island of Dreams and decide to explore the Spooky Manor.' While doing a dramatic zoom in…

And then cool half-spooky music began playing.

I apparently was in a hallway, with two ways to go: up, and right. I pressed right, arriving in another hallway. Left led back to the beginning, and from there up led to another hallway, with a clock and chandelure chandelier. Or, it looked like a Chandelure without the arm flames. And top flame.

Up from there was a sparkly fireplace. I clicked it, and… there was a Lum Berry?

'Emo: Who hides berries in fireplaces?'

'Pansear: Who makes manors on floating islands?'

Right led to a deck, and up from there led to a T-junction. Up was another hallway… and then I just got fed up and pressed Return to your Home.

"I know, but I wanted to explore another area. Serebii don't fail me now…"

'Ferroseed: Wot? Serebii?'

"A pokemon website. Don't ask."

This time the Rainbow Road led me to the Pleasant Forest.

An up, a left, a right, a down, and two ups later, I came across a Mareep, an electric sheep with a ball for a tail. This Mareep wanted me… to find a Finneon?

'Ferroseed: Wot? Why can't he do it?'

A loading screen later, I was greeted by an underwater view. It was quite beautiful, with seaweed to the right and the ocean floor strecting far ahead, with a few sunbeams streaking down.

"Maybe because he would shock everyone here? I have no idea, Ferroseed, but it's Nintendo logic. Don't question it."

Ferroseed asked 'Why?' but I was focused on the task ahead: going through the underwater maze, like the areas, and finding Finneon. Oh yes, and did I mention there was a minute thirty seconds to do this?

At two ups, something shook. I clicked on it… and found a Tentacool. 'Too bad!' the text box read, colored like a sheet of parchment. 'It was a different pokemon!'

"So they have false alarms? Well, at least it doesn't take away from the time." I noted out loud.

Right was another amazing view, with the ocean peeking out between the gaps in a big rock. I headed right, then down, then right again before something else shook: an Octillery. Octillerys were red octopus pokemon, looking nothing like the fish-like Finneon.

Two left and 3 up, something else shook. I clicked on it, and a little blue fish popped out. I had found Finneon!

My score was 36500, and I got to befriend the Mareep too. I knew from Serebii that if I went far enough, I could head to the Tree of Dreams and get him in my game, and I needed an electric-type.

Two arrow clicks later, I found an Igglybuff who wanted me to scoop ice cream, or something. I had to use up my Razz berry here, to make the ice cream, and to sum it up: I epically failed.

'Emo: Wow! That was some great comic relief there!'

'Pansear: It's OK. You just don't get to befriend Igglybuff. Oh well.'

'Stoutland: …what Pansear said.'

'Ferroseed: Wot's so bad about not stacking ice cream that a pokemon wouldn't want to join you?'

"Once again, Nintendo logic."

Three ups later, I saw a loading screen. When it stopped, clouds parted to reveal a HUGE tree, with purple… mossy stuff hanging down and a little hole at the bottom, near the roots. The camera then panned down from the top to the bottom, with bubbles containing pokemon coming down as well. There were two Victinis, a ton of other non-Unova Pokemon, and the hollow at the base was sparkly, like it had an item.

'Emo: Ooh, sparkly! Click it!'

When I did, a text box popped up. 'Make a wish? You'll need one Berry.'

I pressed Yes, and my item list came up.

But it was empty, no berries in sight.

'Pansear: …so you went to all that trouble for nothing? Awww…'

'Dewott: It's OK. As you said, you just don't get to see Mareep. And I'm kind of itching to get to Misaltron, so let's wake Tranquill up and head over. Please?'

"…can it wait? I kind of like the dream world."

'Emo: No. We need more bad comic relief around here. RELEASE THE UNFEZANT!'

"Fine. I just can't help but think this was rushed, though…"

I pressed Return to your Home, and clicked the little power button in the top left corner. This prepared Tra-uh, Unfezant for awakening. On the DS, I stopped the Xtransciever, and Game Synced once more to wake up Unfezant.

'Unfeant: Oh. Hey guys! I had the WEIRDEST dream. It was like there was a floating island, and a rainbow bridge, and a Mareep in a forest, and it was AWESOME! Too bad it's just a dream…'

"Yeah," I said. "Too bad…"

**A/N: Sorry, no Mareep. Kyle lost his berry with Igglybuff. That actually happened to me the first time I visited the DW!**

**Yes, the Xtransciever DOES show your face if you have a DSi or 3DS. And only a Porygon-lution could see through the camera directly. Maybe it still couldn't. **

**So, glad you all liked it! And make sure to REVIEW!**

**I**

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	31. Seven leads to heaven

**A/N: To 'random person': I agree, randomness is funny, but only in moderate amounts. Unfezant already supplies most of my randomness needs, and I don't need more.**

**And anyone can have tons of randomness in a fic and make it funny. Not everyone can still keep it funny with little amounts of it. I can see that you're enjoying what amount I have, and I intend to keep it that way. **

…**OK, the ranting against anonymous reviewers is done. No hard feelings. And so, here's the next chapter!**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or other laugher-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 31: Seven leads to Heaven

With Unfezant awoken from the dreamworld, I found myself confronted with more epic music. "Is there any non-awesome music in this game at all?" I asked.

'Stoutland: Probably not.'

Ferroseed was having some other questions as well: 'Wot's that white on the ground? Whoa, a giant… red… thing! Wot's that? That grey… barrier… a… fence, right? Yeah! The outside world is so much fun!'

'Dewott: Fun? And that's the Pokemon Center. We can use it to heal ourselves! Or, Kyle can put us in a machine to heal us.'

I did so, headed back outside, and walked upwards. But then two people came out from the left. The guy perked up, and ran over to me. 'Oh! Hey! Kyle, right? Let me see your Pokedex for a moment.'

'Unfezant: AAAAH! CREEPER!'

'Dewott: Since when has anyone in the game ever done something bad to us?'

'Unfezant: …'

He realized that he was being rude, and introduced himself as Cedrick Juniper, Professor Juniper's father! He then upgraded my pokedex to see different forms of pokemon.

'Pansear: Does he have the tools to do it?'

'Unfezant: I GOT IT! He carries them all in a 200 pound briefcase! Everywhere he goes! That must be it!'

'Dewott: …'

'Stoutland: …'

'Emo: Stupidest thing ever said. I congratulate you, Tranquill, on being more random then my friend Victini.'

"Who? You know a Victini?" I perked up. Victini had been released, but I was too late to get the Liberty Pass.

'Emo: You know, the word gullible is written on the fence. Of course I don't!'

The woman came down, and asked who I was. Cedrick explained that her name was Skyla, and that she was the gym leader. Cedrick left to Chargestone, but not without Skyla mentioning that Kanto and Sinnoh aren't exactly close to Unova.

Skyla said that as she flew her cargo plane she saw a pokemon on top of the Celestial Tower, and she was sure that it was a sick pokemon! Even though the odds of a sick pokemon making it to the top were incredibly narrow, and she had no way of telling whether it was sick, she left.

Leaving me to explore the city.

'Ferroseed: Wot's that to the left? Big… clear… things? And a grey road?'

'Pansear: Those are greenhouses. They grow crops, and the road is a runway for the planes. And is that a pokeball?'

'Emo: Nope, it's a Foongus. In a pokeball. …probably.'

I walked over, and fond that the pokeball contained the TM for Sky Drop. I didn't know what the move did, so I continued looking. However, there wasn't anything else on the runway, and the gym, at the top of it, was closed.

So, to Route 7 we went!

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Route 7 was split into two paths: Up was a little bridge that passed over REALLY tall grass, which you couldn't ride a bike in, and to the left there was a little side path, free of grass.

The side path contained two people: A Trainer, and a person who gave me the TM for Charge Beam, an Electric attack that sometimes raised Special attack. In short, use it over and over and it will increase in power.

Me being lazy, I walked on the bridge. When I stopped, it played a wobbly animation… and then I fell into the grass!

Emo somehow stayed on the bridge (she was following me, remember?).

'Emo: Ha ha! Pokemon don't have a wobbly sprite and so can't fa- WHAA!'

'Pansear: In case you don't know, the RNG just loves irony SO MUCH that if you say something like that, it's bound to happen.'

"Ok, then what do you think, a master ball is going to just fall out of the sky?"

'Pansear: …it doesn't work that way.'

"Well then, Geeksear, how DOES it work?"

'Pansear: …Geeksear?'

I got out of the grass without any battles to find another ramp… and some shaking grass. This contained the ever-helpful Audino, who helped get both Pansear and Ferroseed to level 32.

The ramp led to a guy at the end, who introduced a new type of battle; Rotation Battles. In these, it's 3 vs 3 pokemon. Only the ones in front can attack. The gimmick is: You can rotate the field, and switch the front pokemon.

I sent out Dewott, Ferroseed, and Stoutland first, and he sent out Swoobat, Liepard, and Watchog. A Swoobat is basically a fluffy evolution of Woobat.

I switched in Ferroseed, and his Watchog's attack missed. Then Stoutland hit Swoobat with Rock smash while he used Calm Mind.

'Stoutland: My head is spinning!'

'Watchog: Me too! But Trainer won't listen and keeps doing Rotation battles!'

"Yeah. That must be bad, not being able to understand each other…."

'Watchog: Yeah, you have no idea.' Replied the Watchog, not realizing who he was talking to.

A Crunch fainted Swoobat, Rock Smash got Watchog, and Dewott came in for a Razor shell, winning the battle and getting him to level 33. He also learned Aqua Jet, which always goes first.

Up from there was a path, and a ramp to the left of it. The ramp led to a little cottage where someone healed me, and so I headed back to take the path up to the Celestial Tower-

'Oh! A Pokedex! So that is the reason for your journey! Let's battle!'

I quote Random Trainer 395, who challenged me out of the blue with her Miccino. All it was good for was good training for Tranquill.

Two more Rangers and everyone was both level 33, and ready to take on the Celestial Tower and its army of life-sucking candles.

**A/N: Yep, insane Victini gets a random cameo. By the way: As for the chapter title, in japan the Celestial tower is called the Tower of Heaven, and this is Route 7. **

**So, next we take on the Celestial tower, which contains my second favorite music in black and white. (First is the credits.)**

**As usual, remember to REVIEW! There's a button, that wants to be clicked. There's an arrow pointing to it. Do it. **

**I**

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	32. Tower of life eating candles

**A/N: By the way, the disclaimer isn't the same in every chapter. Read it too, for added laughs! **

**(Not that this fic needs any more…)**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any bets made about whether you would read this, life drainage from finding a Litwick, or any losses/injuries that may result from reading this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 32: Tower of life-eating candles

The first thing I noticed upon entering the tower… was Herdier.

What Herdier noticed upon entering the tower was the music. It had a slight aura of danger, in a melancholy tune famous to anyone who watches the bad Pokemon TV show.

The first floor had two people in front of several gravestones, and a stair spiraled up to the left, leading to the next floor.

'Dewott: Wow! I generally leave it to Herdier but this music is AWESOME!'

'Pansear: Yes, but we have to get to the top for plot purposes! Come on!'

'Emo: This place gives me the creeps! I'm outta here!'

Emo ran out the door, leaving us to climb the tower alone.

'Stoutland: Hey! Scaredy-squirrel! …nah, cat's better.;

When I walked on the stair, the camera followed me and made the room seem to spin as I climbed upward…

The second floor had a couple of Trainers standing behind upright gravestones. The first one has an Elgyem, a floating green alien, who had a giant head. It was literally, a Little Green Man, an LGM.

"Ha ha. Yay for random puns."

'Ferroseed: Wot pun? It's not like pokemon are named with puns in mind!'

'Dewott: Uh, yes they are.'

Ferroseed fainted it, and his next pokemon: a Sigilyph with Gyro Ball. His last pokemon was a Solosis: A little white blob surrounded with green gel. However, it didn't last against Ferroseed's mighty Gyro Ball.

There was a pokeball to the right, but before I could get it, I was intercepted by a Litwick.

Litwicks are little blobs of wax with a face, and a ghostly purple flame on its head. They apparently led people places, while sucking their life force. Spooky.

And that is what would happen, if not for the fact that this was a game.

But this game had the glitch.

'Litwick: Hey! Guys! Can you follow me for a sec? I know a shortcut!'

"Nope." I said, as I pressed Run.

The pokeball was a Hyper Potion, and two people blocked me from getting the useful TM for Will-O-wisp. After this, though, I headed up the stairs, once again admiring the amazing 3D engine of the game.

The third floor was inhabited by more Psychics. The first one had a Yamask, a black floating pokemon with three tendrils. The first two resembled arms, and it had a mask on its third.

It let Ferroseed grow to level 34, and Pansear came in to fight his second pokemon: A Golett. It's pretty much a blue glowing rock with arms, legs, and a head, and straps covering the main body.

It was a ground and ghost type, and so was weak to Pansear's Bite, and Stoutland came in for the faint, also growing to level 34.

There was a pokeball on the floor nearby, but before I went to pick it up, a Litwick appeared, and once again invited me to follow him. I ran, as usual, before picking up a Spell Tag.

…and then a Psychic saw me from behind and battled me.

'Ferroseed: She couldn't see over a pokeball? Wot madness is this?'

'Pansear: Nintendo logic. I've said it once, I'll say it again ten million times.'

She had a Musharna, and Tranquill got her with her Fly. Past one more Psychic was a Nurse at the bottom of the stairs. She had a Gothita, a little cute black psychic pokemon. It got Unfezant up to level 34, and ready to face her next pokemon: An Alomomola; a heart-shaped fish pokemon.

After beating her, she healed up everyone, and preparing me for the next floors ahead.

A litwick that tried to block the stairs later, I arrived at the fourth floor. Here, there were only two trainers, one with a Stoutland. Past him was a Revive, and a trip to heal later, there was… nope, not a trainer. A Litwick.

'Litwick: No! Please don't hurt me! Pleeease!'

'Pansear: …now why would we hurt you?'

'Litwick: Everyone does! And it hurts me because I just have too much empathy and I don't like taking energy fro…uh…. did I just say that out loud?'

'Dewott: …yes, you did.'

'Litwick: *BEEP*! The bullies are going to come! AAAH! PANICPANICPANIC!'

'What am I going t- YEAH! Can you PLEASE catch me? I promise not to eat anybody! Promise! PLEEEAS-OW!'

I had hit him with a Quick Ball while he spoke, and after 3 clicks, he was caught!

'Litwick: Thank you! Thank you so much! Are you going to the top of the tower? I want to say bye to Elgyem. Please? And thank you!'

"Yeah, because of the power of the plot. You go and say bye while I go and do this cutscene with Skyla."

'Litwick: Again, thank you!'

'Tranquill: Yeah! Here we ar- WHOA! LOOK AT ALL THE BLIMPS!'

The top of the tower was above the clouds, and as a result sunlight could shine down. You could also see the cloud layer, a solid belt obscuring the ground. Skyla was on a little ledge with a bell on it, and so I walked up.

'Skyla: Oh, you came! Thank you! I was right. What I saw was a hurt pokemon.'

'Ferroseed: Wot? That was a good guess.'

Skyla continued talking. 'Don't worry! It's fine now! I gave it a Max Revive, and it flew away!'

'Pansear: …if it was sick, would a Max Revive help?'

'Dewott: Maybe it was poisoned?'

'Stoutland: Or burned?'

'Tranquill: Or damaged from jumping on blimps?'

"…nah, poisoned."

Skyla talked about her great eyesight, and then asked me to ring the bell. Apparently, the character of the person ringing it is reflected in its sound. So I walked up, and pressed A. It chimed, with a deep sound, causing Skyla to reintroduce herself as the Flying Gym Leader, and then she walked down the stairs.

But me, being lazy, Flew off, and away from the Murderous Litwicks.

'Litwick: Hey! Wait up!'

Oh yeah. And now we had a non-murderous one, with us, due to bullying problems.

"You know, it's quite the scenario; one pokemon carrying five others and a human. How do they do that?" I mused.

'Pansear: I told you, Nintendo logic!'

**A/N: Kyle can haz Litwick! Yay!**

**So Emo's gone, and we finally have a complete team! Yippie!**

**But, remember to REVIEW!**

**I**

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	33. Shooting in style

**A/N: To random person: Once again, I am not using the Victini (except for that one cameo). I've said it and said it again: NO. **

**To just about everyone who thought the Litwick was evil: He promised not to eat their spirits, remember? **

**And to those of you who just want me to get on with the chapter:**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 33: Shooting in style

The only thing stopping me from tackling the gym head-on was the voices. One of them belonged to a literall hothead, the other to a less literal one.

And they both said the same thing:

'Litwick: Please train me!'

'Pansear: Please train him!'

'Litwick: Yeah! I want to become more strong! Please!'

'Ferroseed: …more strong? Wot?'

"…Ok. Let's train more."

I headed back up to Route 7, gave a Exp. Share to Litwick, and began training.

Litwick's moves were Will-o-Wisp, Flame Burst, Imprison, and Hex. Will-o-Wisp burns a pokemon, Flame burst just damages, Imprison doesn't let the opponent use any moves that they know, and Hex does double the damage if the opponent has a status, like burned.

In all, only Imprison could be improved; Litwick came with a good moveset already.

I headed through the tall grass, finding pokemon and defeating them. Flame Burst took care of Foonguses, and Will-o-wisp helped with the high HP of Audinos and Zebstrikas. And so training happened.

11** pokemon and 3 level ups later… **

Litwick was level 31, I had an ext- wait, level 31? Shouldn't it be 35?

'Litwick: What? Train me more!'

"I kind of got tired. Is it OK if I just let you gain experience by EXP share in the gym?"

'Dewott: …so we get to see the gym now? YES!'

'Unfezant: GOTHEREGOTHEREGOTHERENOW!'

I began to head up the long runway, while still talking.

'Litwick: I don't know…'

"Look, we're here an- IS THAT A CANNON AHEAD?"

'Ferroseed: Wot's a cannon?'

'Pansear: …Way to ruin the moment.'

This gym was mostly metal, with a few girders and stuff lying around. Up ahead was yes, a cannon. With a n arrow pointing into it.

After giving me a Fresh Water, Clyde the Gym Guy explained it: 'To proceed in this Gym, you climb in the cannons to move forward. The cannons go up, down, left, and right. You can get in them from anywhere!'

'Litwick: So we get to fly? AWESOME! Thanks for coming here! Thank you!'

Litwick popped out of his pokeball, and ran up into the cannon. The door opened, and Litwick walked in. It then lowered, and fired Litwick up off-screen.

'Litwick: WHEE! That was fun! You should try it!'

When I did it, it also got accompanied by some awesome camera changes. When I landed, I saw a cannon to the left, and a fence to the right. Litwick came back in the pokeball, too.

'Dewott: My turn!'

Dewott popped out, and headed in the cannon. It spun to let Dewott in, and fired him into a little alcove that let you head into the same cannon, but from the other side.

'Dewott: Whee! Cannons! They're a blast!'

'Stoutland: I totally agree, Yellow Toad. I call next cannon!'

Blocking the stairway to the cannon was a Worker, whose two Tranquills were taken down by Dewott. The stairs led up to a right-facing cannon.

'Stoutland: Ok, my turn!'

The cannon fired Stoutland normally despite the pokedex saying that she weighed 134 lbs.

'Ferroseed: Wait! Can I go?'

"Sure!"

Ferroseed's sprite appeared in front of me, hopped into the cannon… and I could only watch as he fell right in front of the first cannon.

'Ferroseed: WOT? Oh, come on! I don't weigh nearly as much as Stoutland!'

'Litwick: …maybe you hit a ring? Or used Gyro Ball? Or… I have no clue.'

'Stoutland: Maybe a battle will make him reappear? Switch him into the front of your party and battle that guy there!'

'Ferroseed: I'm a SHE!'

He had a Ducklett, a blue duck, who was up against… Ferroseed!

'Ferroseed: It worked!'

'Stoutland: Yeah!'

Upon fainting his next pokemon, a Sigilyph, Litwick grew to level 32.

The cannon above the guy had two entrances: one from the bottom, one from the side. I went in the bottom and blasted over to the left of another cannon. This one blasted me to the right, the logic being that I would head over to the left, battling another trainer on the way.

I gave Ferroseed an Ether to get Gyro Ball back up and running, switched Dewott in front, and battled his Unfezant. It had a pink head, though, and two things that look like ribbons running down his head.

'Unfezant: What… OK, if boy Unfezants look like that, I am incredibly glad I'm a girl.'

The cannon shot me over to another stairway, a Worker guarding it. He had a Swoobat, and was overpowered easily by Unfezant.

His cannon shot me through… a green ring?

'Litwick: Yay! Rings! Forget the cannon, the ring just made everything enjoyable!'

'Unfezant: Yeah! The rings are BETTER than the cannons! GO RINGS!'

'Pansear: …facepalm.'

The next cannon shot through a purple ring and a white one to the corner of the gym.

'Unfezant! Rings! They're a blast!'

'Litwick: Yeah!'

This next cannon shot all the way across the gym… only for the character to land on the wall and slide down, anime style.

'Dewott: …ouch.'

"I am so incredibly glad that this is a game."

'Stoutland: Now imagine what happens when something heavier gets shot there. The wall breaks. Does Skyla have insurance?'

"She better!"

The last cannon shot through a red hoop, making me land exactly in front of Skyla. There was a cannon behind her, too.

'Pansear: What's that do?'

It turns out… It shot me to the ENTRANCE!

I took the time to heal instead of raging, and also headed to Driftveil to pick up more Moomoo Milks. Once that was done, I headed back to the gym, and went ALL THE WAY back through the gym to Skyla.

Oh and by the way: Remember that cannon that went right and up? If you went right, you faced off with a Trainer. More grumbles came, as I went to heal, and then did the gym for a THIRD TIME.

At least Litwick and Unfezant were happy.

**A/N: The training cut-off came when I got bored of grinding ^_^**

**I**

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	34. The Sky N the clouds, er, Blimps

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 34: The Sky N the Clouds, er, blimps

When I talked to Skyla, she said that she waiting for me, and that the cannons were her pride and joy.

'Unfezant: Figures. THEY'RE SO MUCH FUN! BETTER THEN BLIMPS!'

'This time, let's try something else!' she said. That something else being a battle.

And so, the battle began. With the customary sideways pillars of water and lava carrying our pictures on it.

Skyla's first pokemon was a Swoobat, and so Pansear came in for the type advantage with Bite. Or, two.

"DARN YOU HYPER POTIONS!"

The Swoobat fainted Pansear, and so Tranquill flew in for a Quick Attack. Her next pokemon… was an Unfezant. Her Unfezant used a combination of Razor Wind and Air Slash to finish her off, and so in came Litwick.

'Litwick: Yay! Time to get some experience!'

Unfezant's response was to use Air Slash and take out about half of Litwick's HP.

'Unfezant: You won't be taking me down so easily!'

'Litwick: Ow! You meanie!'

'Dewott: …meanie?'

'Unfezant: Meanie? That's kind of… mean. Oh, the irony.'

'Litwick: Now, where was I? Oh yeah. TAKE THIS! FLAME BURST OF DOOM!'

'Stoutland: Doom? You might have overdid it there.'

Not only did this take out Unfezant, it also got Litwick to level 34. However, Litwick had to switch out for Ferroseed, because Skyla's last pokemon was a Water-Flying Swanna, a swan.

'Stoutland: OH…YEAH! EPIC…MUSIC…GO!'

'Swanna: Music? Oh. I've got to (try to) tell Cliff to stop leaving his radio on.'

'Ferroseed: …not that, the battle music. The awesome music playing. By the way, Wot's a radio?'

'Swanna: I'll tell you as soon as I Air Slash you… there. Now, a radio is a- OW!'

'Dewott: I see. Sneak attacks. Not bad. Now a Moomoo Milk, and another Gyro Ball…'

A Moomoo Milk healed, and BubbleBeam didn't do nearly as much damage as Air Slash. And so, Ferroseed used Gyro Ball… getting about half damage. One more Gyro ball would do it…

If Swanna hadn't Air Slashed Ferroseed into fainting.

'Dewott: It's all up to me now, in the most of clichéd quotes!'

'Litwick: Yeah! Go Dewott!'

And Dewott clocked himself in water, and rushed at Swanna in an Aqua Jet… that didn't faint her.

The next one, though, caused Swanna to faint, the badge to be earned, and the epic music to stop.

The badge was in the shape of a wing, and for some reason it was called the Jet Badge. She also gave me the TM for Acrobatics, which is a Flying move that deals double damage if a pokemon wasn't holding an item.

She also revealed that Team Plasma was heading for the next city, Icirrus.

And so, with our next target in sight, badge in hand (or designated memory space), and full of excitement, we left the gym.

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I headed outside, and the Misaltron music played for a second before being replaced with N's theme.

'Stoutland: What…th- oh, N…the…Creeper..is…here.'

'N: Yes, I'm here. I've been thinking about what you said. They say that they use battles to get to know each other better, but what Trainers really use battles for is to compete…'

'Dewott: Yeah! That's the point of the game! …But if it's a wireless battle, it does actually get to know someone better, though. It's good to have a common interest!'

'N: Am I the only one who finds this terribly painful? They hurt each other's pokemon!'

"Yes, but normally they don't have the glitch."

'Whatever.' Replied N. 'I'm going to talk to your pokemon. I've been living with pokemon since I was-'

"Yes, yes, and I've been talking to them since I started. And you know what? You know what they will say. If you want to see one of the new pokemon, talk to the newly caught Litwick."

'Litwick: What?'

"This creeper wants to talk to you."

'N: Hey, Litwick. Would you tell me what kind of trainer Kyle is?'

'Litwick: A nice one! He rescued me from the bullies and gave me a chance to become stronger and he's so-'

'OK, OK, got it. This Litwick trusts you for some reason. That's… good! If every person and pokemon cared about one another like you two do-'

'Pansear: Us…six!'

'Dewott: Yeah!'

'Stoutland: What…did…you…forget…about…us?'

'Ferroseed: Wot's …with …all …the… commotion?'

'N: Well, if every one cared like you ALL do, I could watch over the future of people and pokemon without…having to…liberate them. Ghetsis is using Team Plasma to search for some special stones—The Light Stone and the Dark Stone. These stones hold the essence of two legendary pokemon. It is said that when they lost their physical form, they fell into a slumber and were transformed. Now they wait for the hero's arrival.'

"And you're telling me this because…"

'N: Because I shall resurrect a legendary Dragon from one of the stones, and become its friend. That will show the world that I am the new hero. Everyone will follow what I…say…'

N's sprite looked downward, and shook his head side to side in a gesture known to mankind as No.

'My vision is to change the world without using force. Trying to do so will just make others resist. If people resist, the ones that will be hurt are the innocent pokemon used… by …foolish trainers.'

'Litwick: …wow. He's great at speeches.'

'Unfezant: Yeah! He could become rich by selling ice-cream cones at 10000 poke and people would listen. Especially if he had the dragon and stood on a blimp! Because everyone would listen!'

'N: Unfezant, you don't understand. You, Kyle, do. Pokemon are not just tools for people to use! As a result… Pokemon trainers who care about one another, like you, will be… separated. And that… …that does break my heart…a little.'

He then walked off, mysterious as ever.

'Litwick: Well… that was random. But I kind of pity him. He seems sad, like he destroyed a world or something.'

"Well, if we don't beat him in the final battle of the game, he will!"

**I**

**\|/**


	35. Twisting the waters

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for annoying latin chanting, choking, heart attacks, or any laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 35: Twisting the waters

'Stoutland: So, N just ambushed us out of nowhere after the gym, and our (mostly) merry band has to head to route 8 (the mappers were very creative in route names), all the while listening to me recap what's just happened. Wow.'

'Unfezant: Nothing out of the ordinary!'

'Litwick: …yeah… Wow. But I like him.'

"Have you said that? Like at all before?" I said sarcastically hoping to end the vast amounts of sarcasm being sarcastically spoken while I ventured down the runway to the Center.

'Litwick: …I don't know… have I? …or have I thanked so much and confused myself… or maybe I just ate too may cupcakes! No, that's not it…'

A heal later, I headed out onto Route 7 for the last time. This wasn't actually the last, though, the next time having something to do with Tornadoes and Thundores on clouds, but that's another story, er, chapter.

I walked on the walkways, passing the healing house, and heading out into places unknown… right after this Xtransciever call.

It was Mom, just checking in, commenting on how far I was, the like.

After that, I took a few more steps to the right to look at the terrain.

The path went up, and had two bridges, each above grass. Both of them led in a circle, with a clown walking on them. And to the bottom was a pokeball. Must get!

On my first step into the grass, I ran into a Cubshoo, a little blue and white bear with a drip of blue… snot coming from its nose.

The next battle I had was a double battle against a Zebstrika and a Watchog. Unfezant grew to level 35 from this, and only one more battle happened before I found the pokeball: The TM for X-Scissor.

On my way back, I got spotted by the clown, who had an EMOL-

'Pansear: Why does the battle screen display the ground?'

'Dewott: Because it doesn't have one programmed for a walkway?'

'Ferroseed: And wot's wrong with that anyway?'

He had an emolga, and a Sigilyph, both of which got Dewott to level 35, and Litwick too.

'Litwick: Yay! I'm caught up! And I'm a lot stronger too! Due to your… magic belt of strength? How does that work, anyway? But thank you!'

"Uh… you're welcome?"

I switched Ferroseed into the front of the party, healed, and successfully avoided murderous clown #2. I walked up a bit, and the caption informed me that I was now in Twist Mountain. There were stairs leading up a cliff, but before I could climb up them, a wild CHEREN appeared! The CHEREN used Battle!

Cheren now had 4 pokemon, the first of which was Unfezant, up against Ferroseed. Two Gyro Balls took care of him, getting Ferroseed to level 35, and Stoutland came in to combat the fierce foe… of Simipour. Who was fiece enough to faint Stoutland. So in came Unfezant to do the job.

Cheren's Servine came in against Litwick, who Flame Bursted Servine into oblivia. Sorry, oblivion; growing to level 36, the only ember of the party to do so.

'Pansear: Hey, no fair! I'm still at level 32!'

And Cheren's last pokrmon was the ever-annoying Liepard.

…who didn't have a chance to be annoying under the mighty power of Razor Shell, winning the battle for everybody.

After the battle, Alder commented that it was a fine bat- ALDER?

Alder was on the clifftop, and jumped down.

'Cheren: If it isn't Alder. I'm weak, so I lost! …and honestly, it bothers me when you call it a fine battle despite that.'

'Litwick: Maybe he was rooting for us?'

Alder said to accept the compliment, before talking about Marshal and Power, and then giving me the HM for Surf. Yeah!

'Dewott: Yeah!'

'Stoutland: Yeah! Can't we begin getting a legend now?'

"Nope, first Cheren has to leave."

'Cheren: What? OK, voice in the sky that no one else hears, can you use a SLIGHTLY less condescending tone? But Kyle? Next time, I will win!'

He then walked off, letting me save, heal, and discuss what to do.

'Pansear: Well, do you want to get the legend?'

"Yes! And there's als… oh. Well, we have two Fire pokemon here; and the desirable Axew lives in the cave. Meaning… I kind of need to replace someone. '

'Dewott: It's a good thing to discuss, but we were talking about legends. And surfing. So what does that have to do with it?'

'Ferroseed: Replacing? Wot?'

I continued on, ignoring Ferroseed. "Axews, a pokemon which I want, live where the legend, Cobalion, is. Remember that old guy talking about him? So… I kind of want to replace you, Pansear. But… but when pokemon have personalities, it really changes your view of them. And so I'm torn. It's like ditching a friend because you now have a stronger one. No matter what, we are heading over there. And so I'm bringing this up because I want to resolve it before we actually get there. So now that that's done, can we go get on with the resolving?"

'Unfezant: Wow. Forget N, Kyle could sell ANYTHING if he wanted.'

**I**

**\|/**


	36. Why do I have a weak defense?

Chapter 36: Why do I have such a weak defense?

'Dewott: Wait. So before we begin trying to convince Pansear to leave the team, can we teach me surf? My feet are frozen.'

'Stoutland: And water is going to help how?'

'Dewott: ….. the water is hot? Just teach it to me, please.'

"OK. Now back to the argument thingy. Well, first of all, Pansear, are you OK with leaving?"

'Pansear: … … .. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …what? No!'

"Didn't think so. Well… if I give you a poffin? Kidding. Why not?"

'Pansear: Well, you're… friends. Wow, that sounds cliché. But yes. And the way the game's designed it makes you want to keep playing. So it makes me want to keep going, to find out the climax. Isn't that why we all do stuff? To see what comes next? That and not giving up my spot on the team to a little dragon wannabe. Has my little, or giant, speech convinced you?'

'Unfezant: Wow. YES!'

'Litwick: Yeah! Pansear should stay!'

'Pansear: …Wow. And I thought I had a bad reason to stay.'

'Dewott: …while that was a good speech, you realize that Kyle has the final decision?'

'Pansear: Well, yeah! Why else would I try to convince him?'

"I don't know, if I had a veto? Nice speech, by the way. I don't know, though. I really want an axew…"

'Unfezant: YEAH! I HAD AN IDEA!'

'Ferroseed: Then wot is it?'

'Unfezant: How about we just don't get an axew! Then everyone's happy ,and we can stop this silly argument and catch a legendary pokemon, and store it in a computer for whenever!'

'Stoutland: Wow. Did Unfezant just come up with a good idea?'

"Yeah! It's a new record or something."

'Ferroseed: I can't help but think that this should have dragged on a bit more…'

'Pansear: Look, don't question things that you like.'

'Ferroseed: Why?'

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I taught Dewott Surf, overriding Razor Shell, and then flew to Driftveil, and caught a legendary pokemon.

What follows is the long version of the sentence above.

I taught Dewott Surf, getting rid of Razor Shell, and then flew to Driftveil City, and caught a legendary pokemon.

What follows is a longer version of the sentence above. It spans paragraphs, time, and just happens to be the rest of the chapter.

Driftveil was the closest way to the old man, and therefore the legendary Cobalion, and so Tranquill flew over there. To the left was route 6, with the stream and bridges. Except now I could go on the stream.

"Excuse me for a second. "

'Ferroseed: Uh, wot for?'

"You'll see in 3..."

I pressed up and the sprite of my character faced the stream. If you could walk on water, you could go, avoiding the patch of grass, and head to the next bridge. And there was a pokeball too, which I intended to get.

"2..."

'Dewott: The suspense is ki- fainting me.'

I pressed A, and the text box came up. It read 'The water is a deep blue… would you like to surf on it?'

"One…now!"

I pressed A, and the text box changed to 'Dewott used Surf!'. The sprite faced the screen, and held out a pokeball.

"Dewott!" I said excitedly. "Use Surf!". And then I collapsed into giggles.

'Unfezant: Yeah! You can do it! Dewott! Use surf!'

A blue band appeared lengthwise on the screen, and Dewott's sprite slid in from the right, paused, and headed to the left. Then a blackish-purple circle appeared on the water, and the sprite jumped onto it.

'Litwick: …That was way less awesome then I thought, but it was still awesome!'

'Dewott: My…back…'

The music began playing an upbeat tune.

'Litwick: I take that back. With the music, it was AWESOME!'

'Stoutland: Yeah! Music solves anything! (mood-wise)'

I pressed up and left, and jumped off of the black thing, assumed to be Dewott, and grabbed the pokeball: the TM for Poison Jab. A physical attack that can poison a pokemon; good to have in my arsenal.

One more surf and I was on the second bridge, a patch of grass blocking my path. I ran from a lone Karrablast, ran past the season house of lazy researchers, and went up. From there I crossed the stream to get to the healing house, healed, and jumped back on the Surfing Dewott.

'Dewott: Ow. Hey, it's not hurting as much now!'

'Pansear: That's great. However, seeing as the sprite you're riding on looks more like a Whiscash, I'm not too worried.'

'Dewott: Wait, the sprite is WHA- AAAH WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BODY! IT DIDN'T SAY THIS ON THE LABEL!'

'Litwick: …it didn't have a label.'

'Dewott: DON'T INTERRUPT MY RANTING! Now where was I? Oh yeah. AAAAHHHHHH!'

I tried to head to the right, but the screen rippled, and I got propelled into a battle with a Basculin. You know, those fish pokemon that the fisher in the desert had.

And Ferroseed got sent out… onto a blue platform. And didn't sink.

'Ferroseed: So I'm standing on water? Wot kind of battle is thi- ohh, that 'Tendo Logic, right?'

'Litwick: …yeah… water. I don't want to battle on water platforms! Water is scary!'

"I know type matchups, but that's taking it a bit too far, Litwick.'

'Litwick: But my parents SAID so! And that they had a bad defense, but they were judges.'

"If you have water sprayed on, you don't die. You just make it into steam or something… I don't know.'

I ran, went on the grass to avoid some rocks, and continued heading right, downstream. There was a patch of ground, which I landed on, and to the right of that, a cave entrance.

"Well, we're at the legendary… uh…"

I stepped inside, and the caption told me that this was Misaltron cave.

"Misaltron cave. If the old man's right, which they usually are in RPGs, Cobalion's here. "

'Unfezant: Now let's go imprison a super awesome pokemon in a ball, take it away from its resting spot, and make it fight! Woohoo!'

**I**

**\|/**


	37. Jingle bells can wake Cobalion

'Pansear: OK. Now that all that's worked out, we have a problem.'

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Dewott: Christmas is approaching, and aside from the party, we've done NOTHING! NOTHING!'

'Pansear: And we came in late, too! (I knew we should have used the Particle Messaging System).'

'Litwick: Party?'

'Pansear: You weren't there. So me and Dewott propose a Christmas part.'

'Stoutland: What about non-christians?'

'Litwick: We throw a party and invite those 'reader' guys you keep talking about?'

'Stoutland: …No. They can't get in here unless there's a gigantic roleplay on a forum. Which isn't a bad idea, but it's complicated. So can we just go with a giant Christmas reference chapter?'

'Unfezant: …I still want the party…'

'Dewott: … … …Look. A blimp. '

'Unfezant: A blimp! Yay! I'm happy. Let's do this chapter!'

'Pansear: …what. The.'

'Stoutland: O_O'

'Dewott: That's randomness taken to the extreme. So we've got 4/5 pokemon support. Let's do this!'

…

…

'Stoutland: Uh, zzzp2? You're supposed to start.'

**Oh. Sorry.**

Chapter 37: Jingle bells will wake Cobalion

Misaltron cave was dark.

I know that sounded incredibly obvious, but in Chargestone I could see everywhere. In most pokemon games there's a REALLY dark cave, somewhere. That requires the use of Flash to see.

This was that cave.

However, most of the challenge was made redundant by teaching Flash to Litwick, lighting up the place.

'Litwick: …So what Flash does is it makes my flame give off light?'

'Pansear: It didn't before?'

'Litwick: Well, no. It's a ghost flame! …Or something like that. I don't really know.'

When Litwick used Flash, it enlarged the circle of light around me to a pretty big size. I couldn't see stuff at a mediocre distance, but it was enough for navigation.

To the right was a Strength rock, in the other direction. Conveniently making a 1-way road.

'Unfezant: If I didn't know better, I'd say someone made this place just to make you go around!'

'Dewott: Then you don't know better?'

The only way available was down, and that was blocked by a Boldore. Boldores have a blue, triangular rock body, with red crystals all over. Two rocks acted as legs, and their pure Rock typing made them have a lot of weaknesses.

Which Stoutland exploited with Crunch.

Farther down, I could see a Strength rock, but a Woobat distracted us with a battle.

'Woobat: Oy, you look so tired. It's dark out! Please, come in t-

'Stoutland: …no. This isn't the 1900s. What the heck are you thinking?'

'Woobat: …children these days..'

'Stoutland: I AM NOT A CHILD!'

A crunch got the random Woobat out of our way, and I headed down to get a full view of the strength rock. I pressed A on it… and then realized I didn't have anyone who knew Strength.

Stoutland to the rescue!

'Stoutland: OK. So by doing this, I'm forgetting how to tackle and learning how to tackle harder?'

"Uh, yes."

With Stoutland's Strength, I got the boulder in the hole, and I could now pass it by standing on it. The path led farther down into the cave, where I could see a Hiker standing there.

He had a Drilbur, a steel-clawed mole that I described before, and a Gurdurr.

'Drilbur: Can we get on with the battle? Trainer's making cookies.'

'Ferroseed: Cookies? Wot are those?'

"There's only lava cookies in pokemon, which restore status ailments, but that's beside the point."

'Pansear: What's beside the point? Ah, nevermind.'

Upon defeating the Hiker, he offered me a Lava Cookie as a present, and I gave it to Ferroseed.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Oh, the cookie. It's… wot's the word? Good? Yeah, good. I like it!'

Another Strength rock got pushed, another Boldore battled, and another level-up occurred before I headed upwards.

And a Woobat appeared.

'Woobat: Can't you just come? Please? You made me use my only reviv- AAAH!'

'Dewott: And that is why you don't annoy higher-leveled pokemon. '

A Hiker had a Boldore, and Dewott Surfed and 1-hit KOed him. Or would have, if not for the Boldore having the ability Sturdy, enabling him to have 1 HP when 1-hit KOed.

But an Aqua Jet solved that problem.

To the right of the Hiker was a Max Repel, and also another Boldore which got Litwick to level 37. And after that, the Woobat appeared again.

'Woobat: Good thing Cynthia gave me a Reviver Seed. Anyway, you've denied my hospitality. Why? I Curse you, young Dewott. If you faint me, you'll lose your arms and have to walk on all fours for life!'

'Pansear: …that's called evolution. It happens naturally.'

'Woobat: No! Everyone I've cursed has changed radically! And you expect me to believe? What do they teach people nowadays? Back in my day, we didn't go around fainting others for fun. We went to Colorado and saw improv! And we didn't go fainting our friends. What has the world come to?'

'Dewott: A new generation more in touch with game mechanics. Bye, and don't come back please.'

To the left of the Hiker was that Strength rock I saw earlier, and I pushed it down, making a shortcut. And down from there: Were stairs going up.

On the second floor were more rocks waiting to be pushed here, starting with the one a bit to the right. I pushed it, and then climbed up some stairs on a little ledge to the right. Up from there was another boulder, and beyond that was the TM for Rock Slide. It does a bit of Rock-type damage and is a good TM to have. On my way back to the boulder, I ran into a little cyclone… and came out with a Dragon Gem?

'Ferroseed: Wot's that?'

"I don't know, actually. A new item?"

The boulder led to some more stairs… which led to the 'Guidance Chamber'. Which didn't need flash!

'Unfezant: Oh, I can see now! I feel so happy!'

'Ferroseed: Why? It's just light?'

'Unfezant: I'm happy now, I'm happy now, because there's light all the way!'

'Dewott: She's… singing?'

I headed right, and an old man spotted me. He told me about Cobalion, Terrakion, and Virizion. They helped protect pokemon from a raging forest. Because of them, the war that started the fire was ended. However, they learned that humans couldn't be good, so they cut themselves off from people and disappeared. They faded into myth…

And he had found that one of them lived in the cave. If humans approach, though, they would attack. So they convinently needed someone to show them that the world has changed.

In short, I got to catch Cobalion.

'Unfezant: Oh what fun it is to listen to an old man ramble away!'

I found a Dusk Stone beside him, and then continued up on the path, past the old man. A passing Boldore Rock Slided Dewott, fainting him, so Unfezant got put in first place. While singing.

'Unfezant: Jingle bells, jingle bells, I'm singing all the way! Until we catch Cobalion and show him our good way! Oh, jingl-'

'Cobalion: STOP IT!'

'Pansear: !'

'Cobalion: I can't believe you came! It's annoying! Do you know what you just did? YOU JUST MESSED UP MY HIGH SCORE! Virizion's gonna kill me for all the bandwidth!'

"…uh, high score?"

'Cobalion: Yeah! Oh, do you have a pokegear by any chance?'

"…no, why?"

'Cobalion: DAMMIT! I TOLD Virizion to set up Virizion Wireless in Johto!

**I  
><strong>

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	38. Cave aged Cell Coverage

Chapter 38: Cave-aged cell coverage

'Cobalion: DAMMIT! I TOLD Virizion to set up Virizion Wireless in Johto!'

'Ferroseed: …Virizion Wireless? Wot's that?'

'Cobalion: …you don't know it? It's a phone company my friend Virizion set up to alleviate boredom one day. And because it's here, the only thing it's used for is Xtranscievers, and even then very few people use them. And somehow, IT MAKES A PROFIT! I just don't understand it!'

'Litwick: Whoa, calm down!'

'Cobalion: …although, Rotom DID make some good games for it… eh, probably it's good overall. It's good for waiting out the technology burst.'

"..Wait, you mean the stock crash?"

'Cobalion: Yeah. The reason I went into hiding is pretty much that people weren't making as much good stuff anymore. And the rise of smartphones meant that people were taking our picture, and I like privacy. Plus, I already had this… space here, and I figured I might as well wait it out until new stuff is being made again.'

"Well… is it worth doing a big speech about how technology has improved and privacy controls enforced or can you just come? I'm going to catch you either way."

'Cobalion: …I choose option 3: a BATTLE! …but wait a second. Let me get my speakers set up…'

Cobalion's sprite headed to the wall, where a desk and computer sat. It stood there for a few seconds before heading back to its original position, putting a speaker along the way.

'Pansear: …so you have your own battle music? That you made?'

'Cobalion: Yeah! Now do all your saving stuff and BATTLE ME ALREADY!'

I walked up to Cobalion, saved, and pressed A to initiate the battle. The screen flashed twice before a green… sword thing CUT the blackness…and then the screen shattered.

Glass flew everywhere… and then got replaced with the battle screen.

'Cobalion: I've been DYING to test out that swordbot! It worked!'

The music's bass pounded heavily as I noticed the level of Cobalion: 42. That was… high. Especially compared to Unfezant's 35.

"Wow." Was all I could say.

'Cobalion: Wait for the mail loop of the music to start! I got SM64 soundfonts!'

'Ferroseed: Essem Wots?'

The main track began playing with an almost clanging sound, like SM64's metal cap music.

'Cobalion: Like it?'

"Yes, totally! Now we begin attacking each other!"

Cobalion started off with Retaliate, a solid move that took out a quarter of Unfezant's HP. She Flew up, avoiding a 'Sacred Sword' attack, and hit for about a sixth of HP.

'Unfezant: Ow! The speakers are hurting my ears!'

Cobalion retaliated with… helping hand?

'Cobalion: What? Does clapping skip my turn? I haven't had a battle in AGES…'

'Dewott: No, clapping is using Helping Hand, a move which is only good in double battles. A new invention.'

'Cobalion: So now I use a Swor-'

'Stoutland:Is the music slowing down or is it just me?'

'Cobalion: What? Dammed lag spikes! And now autospeed is going to speed it up in compensation, ruining the part! Dammit!'

Unfezant's Fly got Cobalion down to half of HP, while the music sped up, adding a piano track as well. After a little bit it slowed down, keeping the piano. Another Fly and a Quick Attack got Cobalion into red HP.

'Pansear: Ok! Begin pelting the super-awesome legendary pokemon with balls!'

'Cobalion: Wait, WHAT?'

I threw a Dusk Ball, which Cobalion got out of right away.

'Cobalion: Hey! That was a headshot! Doesn't count!'

"So does this?" I asked, throwing an Ultra Ball.

'Cobalion: Yep, but I get to use my IRON HEAD!'

This managed to faint Unfezant, so Stoutland got sent in, a Moomoo milk restoring HP.

'Cobalion: But you've left yourself open! SACRED SWOOORD!'

A blue line cleaved through Stoutland, leaving her with 17 HP.

'Cobalion: Oh yes, did I mention it was a fighting-type move? Probably no- hey, where's that other music coming from?'

'Stoutland: That's the in a pinch music. And it plays when I have red HP. Like now. So when Kyle uses a Moomoo milk and restores my HP (hint hint) like…so…. The music resumes.'

'Cobalion: But what happens if I critical hit? SACRED SWOOORD! Take that!'

Of course, this critical hit and Stoutland fainted. So in came Pansear. And another Ultra Ball, which shook once…twice…three times… and burst.

'Cobalion: Ow! That was hard to get out of- oh wait, new tweet? Oh! Ha ha. Nice green screening. Aaand send reply. Ok, back to the battle.'

'Stoutland: You know, I think it's illegal to text and battle.'

'Cobalion: No it's not. And it's not like I'm driving.'

My next ball was a Timer Ball.

'Ferroseed: Wot's a Timer Ball?'

'Pansear: Don't you remember- oh, you weren't there. It is easier to catch a pokemon in a battle that's gone on for a long time. Like now!'

The ball opened right away, opening Pansear up for a fainting Sacred Sword. I sent in Litwick next, because due to him being a ghost type, Sacred Sword wouldn't hit her.

'Cobalion: DAMMIT! Why do I keep using Helping Hand by mistake? I need a TM. Or maybe just cam-foil. Nah, wouldn't work.'

My next Ultra Ball shook once…twice…thrice… and caught?

'Litwick: Yay! We got a legendary Cobalion!'

'Cobalion: Ugh! You win. Good job, by the way. And don't name me anything; my name is Cobalion. Oh wait, aren't I going to go to the PC?'

'Pansear: Yep…goodbye!'

'Cobalion: Wait! Nonono! I've got to tell the others to open the gates! …I wonder if I can hack the PC system inside it…'

And those were Cobalion's last words before being transported to the PC system.

When I was greeted with the overworld, the old man from before came up. 'It seems that thanks to you, Cobalion has sensed a change in the world. And therefore, I can now try catching Virizion and Terrakion, as the obstacles separating them from people were gone.

And by using an Escape rope, I finally got out of Misaltron cave. Oh, and with a geeky legend too.

**A/N: I had SO MUCH FUN writing Cobalion. References galore, and really, just making him a geek was enough to make me laugh. And ever wondered where the different legend music comes from? Speakers!**

**I**

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	39. Snowed in Samurais

**A/N:It's almost timefor an interlude, and I feel like doing this here! But what happens? **

**Well, you'll find out in about two seconds, depending on how fast you read.**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any advertising, choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may occur from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Interlude 39: The Language of Life,er, anime

'Samurott: So. What now?'

'Litwick: What do you mean what now?'

'Samurott: I think Kyle's gone, and we can't push his sprite. Meaning effectively, we're stuck.'

'Unfezant: Throw a party?'

'Pansear: And invite who? No.'

'Litwick: Hey, guys. I found this X button on the ground here!'

'Pansear: WTF? Where did that come from?'

'Samurott: Try pressing it and see if it opens the menu or something. Worst case, the game crashes.'

'Litwick: Ok, pressing… now!'

A box shot up, going over the C gear on the lower screen of the closed DS.

'Litwick: Yay! It worked! But what's that?'

'Stoutland: It's… the menu? To quote Pansear, WTF?'

'Unfezant: Maybe the button fell off the DS and got shot by the digital converter?'

'Litwick: Convertinator. But who cares! Wait, I want to try something.'

'Stoutland: …what.'

'Litwick: Well what do you think, some arrow keys are going to be here too?'

If sprites could facepalm, everyone but Unfezant and Litwick would be.

'Samurott: Do you really think that's going to work?'

'Litwick: Yes!'

'Pansear: Have you ever thought of just… you know, jumping on the floating menu box?'

'Litwick: …well, that could work…'

Litwick popped out of his pokeball, walked down… and jumped onto the bottom screen, on the Options button. How this is even possible is still unknown to date.

'Litwick: I did it! Now wha- whoa! It shook!'

The screen changed to the black and blue Options menu, with Litwick still on.

'Ferroseed: Wot the… How is that even remotely possible?'

'Pansear: Who cares as long as it is?'

'Ferroseed: Me.'

'Samurott: Me.'

'Stoutland: Me. But not enough to not enjoy Litwick's antics.'

'Litwick: I HEARD that! Anyway, come up here! You can almost see out of Twist Mountain!'

'Unfezant: Really?'

Unfezant came out of her pokeball, flew up, tore a hole in it Paper Mario style, and hovered near Litwick.

'Stoutland: What? No fair; you fly!'

Stoutland jumped up the hole, followed by Samurott, Pansear, and Ferroseed. Who jumped up… and tore another hole falling down into the snow pile.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Oh, come ON!'

'Pansear: Uh… no Xtransciever… no cameras… eh, sorry, Ferroseed. At least you don't have to watch out for the close button.'

'Samurott: NO! Now it's going to close! … … …or not… … … nope, we're safe.'

'Litwick: Hey! You all made it- WHAAA!'

'Pansear: No! Litwick, I know it's impossible due to the very nature of this fic, but try not to fall on anything important!'

'Litwick: Ow. So what does tr..an…sla…tor do? Translator?'

'Pansear: I don't pan? Wa-pan, saer?'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Pansear, you OK?'

'Pansear: Sea- NO, I'm sear!'

'Stoutland: Stoutland stout… What! Stout land land stout too!'

'Ferroseed: Uh, wot? Stoutland too? This is NOT funny.'

'Litwick: LITWICK! Wick lit lit wick… litwick lit.'

'Samurott: Samur too? Rott...'

'Ferroseed: Seriously. Guys. Stop it.'

'Pansear: Pan, Pansear pan quit Pansear.'

'Litwick: Lit!'

Litwick's sprite jumped towards the lower-right corner, towards the QUIT button, aiming for the letter.

It's a general law in media that if a plan is discussed, and shown to the reader, it's going to fail. The inverse also holds, namely, that if a plan isn't discussed it generally is successful. This applies just about everywhere, and continued to survive when Litwick landed about a centimeter to the left, on the CONFIRM button.

'Samurott: …sam…'

'Litwick: Lit? Lit Litwick bad wick?'

'Unfezant: You're fez fezant fall!'

'Ferroseed: Fall? Wot?'

The options screen faded, causing three pokemon to land in a snowdrift below them. One of them flew down, due in part to being a flying type, and one of them collided with a certain metal seed, took damage courtesy of Iron Barbs, and then fell into a snowdrift.

'Ferroseed: So wot's with the pokespeak- er, anime pokespeak- uh, saying your name speak or… Did something happen up there?'

'Unfezant: Finally! Fez unfez options unfezant fez fezant unfez un fezant Litwick fezant fez…'

'Ferroseed: I don't speak Unfezant. Except with dubbing or subtitles. I get the joke, now stop.'

'Stoutland: Stoutland not land stout land land translator land!'

'Samurott: Samurott, sam, sam! Samurott murott, rot.'

'Ferroseed: Guys, I don't get it. Did you say something about a translator? Oh…. So a translator… and options… oh,oh,oh! The options shorted out the amplifier? No, no translator. Did it turn off the translator?'

'Litwick: Lit! Litwick lit litwick wick lit lit?'

'Ferroseed: Yes. What were you saying?'

'Litwick: Lit wick: Lit! Litwick lit litwick wick lit lit? Litwick?'

'Ferroseed: That helps. A lot. Thanks.'

'Unfezant: Unfez X fez!'

'Lit: Lit? Wick, lit litwick!'

'Stoutland: ?'

'Dewott: ?'

'Ferroseed: Get a cross? What will that do, make you be reborn without language difficulties? And how is it anyway that I'm no- ohnodontsayit! … … …I can still talk normal, right?'

'Unfezant: Unfez! Unfezant button fez!'

'Ferroseed: Place a button on the cross? Maybe add a redstone torch or something.'

'Unfezant: FEZ! Unfezant zant fez!'

'Ferroseed: Ugh. I give up! Kyle! I know you aren't here but I really need some help!'

"What?" asked Kyle, having opened the DS a second ago. "What with?"

'Ferroseed: Pikaspeak! Uh, saying name speak! No… anime speaking? Or… look, somebody say something!'

'Stoutland: Stout?'

"…really, Stoutland?"

**A/N: This was HILARIOUS to write! I love interludes.  
><strong>

**And there's a part 2!**

**And remember to review!**

**And not use the word and as much as I do!**

**I**

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	40. Interlude: The Language of life,er,anime

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any advertising, choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may occur from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Interlude 40: The Language of Life,er, anime

'Samurott: So. What now?'

'Litwick: What do you mean what now?'

'Samurott: I think Kyle's gone, and we can't push his sprite. Meaning effectively, we're stuck.'

'Unfezant: Throw a party?'

'Pansear: And invite who? No.'

'Litwick: Hey, guys. I found this X button on the ground here!'

'Pansear: WTF? Where did that come from?'

'Samurott: Try pressing it and see if it opens the menu or something. Worst case, the game crashes.'

'Litwick: Ok, pressing… now!'

A box shot up, going over the C gear on the lower screen of the closed DS.

'Litwick: Yay! It worked! But what's that?'

'Stoutland: It's… the menu? To quote Pansear, WTF?'

'Unfezant: Maybe the button fell off the DS and got shot by the digital converter?'

'Litwick: Convertinator. But who cares! Wait, I want to try something.'

'Stoutland: …what.'

'Litwick: Well what do you think, some arrow keys are going to be here too?'

If sprites could facepalm, everyone but Unfezant and Litwick would be.

'Samurott: Do you really think that's going to work?'

'Litwick: Yes!'

'Pansear: Have you ever thought of just… you know, jumping on the floating menu box?'

'Litwick: …well, that could work…'

Litwick popped out of his pokeball, walked down… and jumped onto the bottom screen, on the Options button. How this is even possible is still unknown to date.

'Litwick: I did it! Now wha- whoa! It shook!'

The screen changed to the black and blue Options menu, with Litwick still on.

'Ferroseed: Wot the… How is that even remotely possible?'

'Pansear: Who cares as long as it is?'

'Ferroseed: Me.'

'Samurott: Me.'

'Stoutland: Me. But not enough to not enjoy Litwick's antics.'

'Litwick: I HEARD that! Anyway, come up here! You can almost see out of Twist Mountain!'

'Unfezant: Really?'

Unfezant came out of her pokeball, flew up, tore a hole in it Paper Mario style, and hovered near Litwick.

'Stoutland: What? No fair; you fly!'

Stoutland jumped up the hole, followed by Samurott, Pansear, and Ferroseed. Who jumped up… and tore another hole falling down into the snow pile.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Oh, come ON!'

'Pansear: Uh… no Xtransciever… no cameras… eh, sorry, Ferroseed. At least you don't have to watch out for the close button.'

'Samurott: NO! Now it's going to close! … … …or not… … … nope, we're safe.'

'Litwick: Hey! You all made it- WHAAA!'

'Pansear: No! Litwick, I know it's impossible due to the very nature of this fic, but try not to fall on anything important!'

'Litwick: Ow. So what does tr..an…sla…tor do? Translator?'

'Pansear: I don't pan? Wa-pan, saer?'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Pansear, you OK?'

'Pansear: Sea- NO, I'm sear!'

'Stoutland: Stoutland stout… What! Stout land land stout too!'

'Ferroseed: Uh, wot? Stoutland too? This is NOT funny.'

'Litwick: LITWICK! Wick lit lit wick… litwick lit.'

'Samurott: Samur too? Rott...'

'Ferroseed: Seriously. Guys. Stop it.'

'Pansear: Pan, Pansear pan quit Pansear.'

'Litwick: Lit!'

Litwick's sprite jumped towards the lower-right corner, towards the QUIT button, aiming for the letter.

It's a general law in media that if a plan is discussed, and shown to the reader, it's going to fail. The inverse also holds, namely, that if a plan isn't discussed it generally is successful. This applies just about everywhere, and continued to survive when Litwick landed about a centimeter to the left, on the CONFIRM button.

'Samurott: …sam…'

'Litwick: Lit? Lit Litwick bad wick?'

'Unfezant: You're fez fezant fall!'

'Ferroseed: Fall? Wot?'

The options screen faded, causing three pokemon to land in a snowdrift below them. One of them flew down, due in part to being a flying type, and one of them collided with a certain metal seed, took damage courtesy of Iron Barbs, and then fell into a snowdrift.

'Ferroseed: So wot's with the pokespeak- er, anime pokespeak- uh, saying your name speak or… Did something happen up there?'

'Unfezant: Finally! Fez unfez options unfezant fez fezant unfez un fezant Litwick fezant fez…'

'Ferroseed: I don't speak Unfezant. Except with dubbing or subtitles. I get the joke, now stop.'

'Stoutland: Stoutland not land stout land land translator land!'

'Samurott: Samurott, sam, sam! Samurott murott, rot.'

'Ferroseed: Guys, I don't get it. Did you say something about a translator? Oh…. So a translator… and options… oh,oh,oh! The options shorted out the amplifier? No, no translator. Did it turn off the translator?'

'Litwick: Lit! Litwick lit litwick wick lit lit?'

'Ferroseed: Yes. What were you saying?'

'Litwick: Lit wick: Lit! Litwick lit litwick wick lit lit? Litwick?'

'Ferroseed: That helps. A lot. Thanks.'

'Unfezant: Unfez X fez!'

'Lit: Lit? Wick, lit litwick!'

'Stoutland: ?'

'Dewott: ?'

'Ferroseed: Get a cross? What will that do, make you be reborn without language difficulties? And how is it anyway that I'm no- ohnodontsayit! … … …I can still talk normal, right?'

'Unfezant: Unfez! Unfezant button fez!'

'Ferroseed: Place a button on the cross? Maybe add a redstone torch or something.'

'Unfezant: FEZ! Unfezant zant fez!'

'Ferroseed: Ugh. I give up! Kyle! I know you aren't here but I really need some help!'

"What?" asked Kyle, having opened the DS a second ago. "What with?"

'Ferroseed: Pikaspeak! Uh, saying name speak! No… anime speaking? Or… look, somebody say something!'

'Stoutland: Stout?'

"…really, Stoutland?"

**I**

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	41. Halflude: Language of anime part 2

**A/N: Nothing to say here except that I have nothing to say here.**

Interlude 40.5: The Language of Anime, Part 2

"So. Why exactly is Stoutland saying Stout?"

'Ferroseed: I don't really know wot's with it! Litwick found an X button, jumped up there, and then everyone started talking funny!'

"Everyone?"

'Litwick: Lit! Litwick wick wick lit. Litwick lit!'

'Ferroseed: Yes, everyone seems to have this running joke! I just don't understand it!'

'Litwick: liiiiiit! Litwick. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. LIT!'

"So now they're using pokespeak?"

'Ferroseed: No, well… yes, I mean, but they're joking (hopefully), and it's driving me CRAZY!'

'Unfezant: Unfez! Zant fez Options fez! Unfezant fezant fez!'

"…if they're using pokespeak, why are they putting words in there randomly?"

'Pansear: Pan sear Pansear 3rd Per-sear!'

'Ferroseed: That's why I think they're joking!'

'Pansear: Pan panSEAR. Pansear Pan Options pan sear Pansear pan pan!'

"Options? And… didn't you say an X button? You think they got into the options menu?"

'Ferroseed: You know, that's not such a farfetch'd idea.'

"But how is that even possible?"

'Litwick: Lit! Wick!'

'Ferroseed: How is us talking possible? Wotever it is, just- '

Ferroseed was interrupted by the menu springing up. 'Wot?'

"What? Did you do that?"

'Litwick: Litwick wick! Lit did!'

'Ferroseed: Litwick did that?'

'Samurott: Sam! Samurott translate sam murott!'

'Ferroseed: I'm going to guess that you're telling me to eat a sandwich. If that's not right, say something.'

'Samurott: SaMuRott?'

'Ferroseed: No. You want me to… faint a sandY witch?'

'Samurott: Sam! Kyle, sam samurott!'

"You want me to do something?"

'Ferroseed: Try pressing the options thing!'

Kyle did so, and saw nothing out of the ordinary, save for two 'holes' in the top screen showing the overworld. Text speed medium, Battle style switch, translator off, everything in order.

"There's nothing wrong."

'Ferroseed: There! You don't see it?'

"See wha- wait. Since when is there a translator option?"

'Ferroseed: So they weren't joking? Just press it.'

Two stylus taps later, everyone else was freed from their digital muzzles.

'Litwick: Ooohh…. My wax...'

'Pansear: Muzzles? Really?'

**It's the best analogy I could come up with. You come up with a better one.**

'Pansear: Uh… … nah, you win.'

'Litwick: Who are you talking to?'

'Pansear: …this Drilbur over here.'

'Ferroseed: Guys, what happened?'

Simultaneously, four messages appeared onscreen.

'Samurott: Litwick's fault.'

'Pansear: Litwick's jumping's fault.'

'Stoutland: the X button's fault for showing up.'

'Litwick: It is me, but stop clogging up the screen with dialogue!'

'Unfezant: Yeah! Both things!'

'Stoutland: But if you hadn't said that, the screen would have had a space.'

"Guys, quiet. All of you. What happened?" Kyle said, in what he hoped was a stern tone.

'Pansear: You fail at being stern. But Litwick found an X button here, as the plot obviously demands, and pressed it. Then she jumped up, landed on the options menu, and switched the translator option which I'm not sure why it's even needed off, then instead of quit landed on confirm.'

'Ferroseed: Note to litwick: Stop jumping on the menus. I don't know wot you were thinking, but they seem touch sensitive.'

'Samurott: That's my and Stoutland's job, the sarcasm!'

"You have jobs?"

'Samurott: No, it's a metaphor.'

"And did you know this is sarcasm?"

'Stoutland: Now you two stop. I'm not cold, but maybe some others are.'

'Samurott: Well, I wasn't cold, but now that you mention it…'

'Unfezant: I'm not cold! I'm as hot as I can be! So let's head into that cave there to wa- cool down!'

"The cave up or to the right?"

'Unfezant: Up!'

"Very well. Into the cave we go."

'Litwick: Does anyone else have a weird sense saying that this should go on longer?'

'Pansear: Sometimes I have that, but no. Let's continue exploring!'

'Unfezant: Yeah!'

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After a heal to cure Samurott of a mysterious tiny bit of damage, we set off for the cave. It went up, left… and to another cave, going both left and right.

'Litwick: Left!'

'Stoutland: Right!'

'Unfezant: Just go left!'

'Samurott: I choose right, because it's right! (And I like making puns)'

'Ferroseed: Wot's all the ruckus about?'

"I'm going left."

When I did, an angry snowflake with a couple dotted chains hanging from its mouth confronted me.

"What?"

'Unfezant: AAAH! ANGRY CYROGONAL MULTI-FACETED FROZEN SNOWFLAKES! FORGET ATTACK OF THE POKEBALLS, IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE SNOWFLAKES! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!'

'Cyrogonal: What? No no- don't run away! Please! Everyone seems to be afraid of me but please stay!'

'Stoutland: Uh… nothing, really. Other than maybe fainting you for Exp.'

'Cyrogonal: Can I come with yo- oharceusit'sspring! Never mind- I'll melt if I go out there.'

"Uh, what?"

'Cyrogonal: Uh… can you just faint me? So that I can know that I've done something in my life?'

'Pansear: An angry snowflake wants to be fainted. I'm saying this out loud to show how silly that is.'

'Cyrogonal: And I want to be of use for something. Just faint me. Please.'

'Stoutland: …very well.

Stoutland Crunched the Cyrogonal twice, fainting it. Farther left, a one-way ledge obscured the way, leading to a door.

'Samurott: See! I knew right was the way!'

"Ok, you told me so."

The right way… was split into two paths: up and down. I took down, went up some stairs… and saw an Ace Trainer. Or, he saw me and tried to battle. He had a Krokorok, a Palpitoad, and a Klang: A klink with another big gear spinning with one of the first two. All taken down by Stoutland.

To the left of THAT was the great TM90: Substitute!

'Litwick: What does it do?'

'Ferroseed: Wot does it do?'

"It makes a substitute, which takes damage for you. "

'Litwick: Cool! Teach me please!'

"Uh… you sure?"

'Litwick: Yeah! It covers a weak defense by having someone else cover for you! It works both in courts and in battles!'

"Very well, young Litwick. You're learning the ways of the force- er, game mechanics."

Litwick forgot Flash to make room for it, and we set off to the right.

'Pansear: No! Don't! Watchoutforthe-'

The sprite hopped over a one-way ledge as I eased up on the right button.

'Pansear: …ledge.'

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	42. Cubchoos and Plasma and Icirrus, oh my!

Chapter 42: Cubchoos and Plasma and Icirrus. Oh my!

'Pansear: Figures. Why Oz and not… I don't know, Zelda?'

**It's more of a classic. I think Now go off and…do stuff.**

'Litwick: OMG it's god!'

**No, I'm the author. Zzzp2.**

'Litwick: Sorry, author! Can I have your autograph?'

**No; I don't have one. And this is a part of the chapter now. Let's see…**

Chapter 42: Cubchoos and Boldores and Icirrus. Oh my!

TAKE TWO

'Ferroseed: Wot's TAKE TWO mean?'

"Where does it say that?"

**Ferroseed! It means that this is the second try. That you messed up.**

"Hey, you never left!"

**Well, obviously. I can't.**

"What?"

**Never mind…**

Chapter 42: Cubchoos and Boldores and Icirrus. Oh my!

TAKE THREE

'Ferroseed: So wot's so bad about the ledge you jumped over?'

"It's one-way. Meaning I have to head down here."

'Ferroseed: Wos there anything worth going back for?'

'Litwick: I don't know, maybe there was a potion or something.'

'Samurott: Yeah, and a Bulbasaur too.'

A thought struck me.

"Bulbapedia!"

'Unfezant: Yeah! (What's that?)'

'Ferroseed: I don't know. Wot's Bulbapedia?'

"A pokemon wiki. I can look up the page and see the items. Don't faint yourselves for thirty seconds."

I closed the DS, and moved the mouse around on my computer to deactivate the screensaver. I typed in 'bulbapedia' on the address bar, overriding , and pressed enter.

Wait, fanfiction?

The page loaded with Bulbapedia's home before I could press the X button, and I searched for Twist Mountain. When the page came up, I scrolled down, seeing if there was anything of interest. Mon stones… Nuggets… ooh, Rare candy! And… that was about it on the list of interesting items.

I walked over to the DS, opened it-

'Unfezant: What did you find? Are there any bananas here? Or apples? Or gummis? Or candy? Or SOMETHING?'

And got an immediate answer from Unfezant.

"There's rare candies, but nothing worth going back for."

'Ferroseed: Why are you hungry anyway?'

'Unfezant: I think I've gone to PMD mechanics…'

"PMD?"

'Samurott: No, that's your imagination. And Mystery Dungeon. I think.'

'Pansear: Yeah, it could be Partial Muscle Destruction. No. Come on, let's head down the path. I don't know about you but I'm sick of here.'

'Litwick: I kinda like the icy rock, but I'm OK with leaving of you don't like it.'

'Unfezant: Have I mentioned I hate the place?'

"I don't think so, but let's get out of here." I said, pressing up to head out of the hall and into another. This one curved right, and down. At the bottom was a 4-way crossing, with Cheren on the right.

'Unfezant: Hey, Cheren's there!'

I pressed right two steps, and the screen panned over to see a Plasma Grunt.

'Unfezant: And a Plasm- hey! I know him!'

"You do?"

'Unfezant: Yeah, he's the 24th grunt we faced! I remember it really well… but not the 25th or 23rd.'

I walked over some more, and the Grunt took a step back. 'Grunt: Huh. Pretty strong… But you're only strong because you Trainers are controlling Pokemon!'

Cheren retorted by asking 'If you want to set them free… If that's what you want, you should start with your own. But taking people's pokemon by force is not right.'

'Litwick: Yes! Go Cheren! Win the argument!'

Another Grunt came in through the light-filled door that I hadn't noticed until now. 'Hey, there you are! We found that thing we were looking for. We should head to the tower now!'

He turned to face us. 'Get this! Team Plasma has obtained the power to change the world and end people's control over pokemon.'

'That's right!' chimed in the second Grunt. 'We use force in order to right the wrongs of the world. As a result,Team Plasma will get you. And your little pokemon too.'

'Stoutland: And who exactly are you calling LITTLE?'

'Yo- wait, did you just talk? I think the cold's getting to me. Come on.'

The screen darkened and lit up, and when it did the Grunts were gone.

'Cheren: Those guys… I don't know what they found, but they go the extra mile to gain power and cause trouble. What a bothersome bunch…'

He turned to face me. 'Kyle… I'm going to stay here for a while. I want to think a little bit about what the Champion asked me… What do I want to do with my power after I get strong? And why do I want to be strong in the first place?'

'Pansear: Sure, NOW you ask that.'

The camera panned back over to me, and I walked around Cheren and through the door.

After battling a Woobat, that was.

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I emerged in a grassy route, with some stairs to the north, spring emerging, and Cedrick in front of me.

'Litwick: Hey. I've got a feeling we're not in Twist Mountain anymore.

"Gee, what gives you that idea?"

'Litwick: The subtitle. And the guy.'

'The guy' walked towards me and said 'Cedrick: Hello, Kyle! How is Stoutland!'

'Samurott: Stalker. In two ways.'

'Unfezant: Maybe there's a tornado-like plasma pokemon in the pokedex that tracks it?'

"Or maybe he just happened to be there." I put out, pressing A to advance his dialogue.

'Ah! This Stoutland has really taken a shine to you.'

'Stoutland: Obviously. Can you let us go?'

'Cedrick: Say, I just had a thought—have you heard of Dragonspiral Tower?'

I pressed No.

'Eh… I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. Ok. Give this story a listen. Dragonspiral Tower is said to be the Unova region's oldest building. Stories say it's the place where legendary Pokémon came to life or where they remain in deep slumber. I know it's just past Icirrus City, but that's all I know about it. That's all anyone knows, because no one has ever been inside. My daughter has wanted to investigate that tower for a long time. "What! There's something I don't know?" That kind of feeling is pure adventure. And I'm not too old for some adventuring. Away I go to have a look at Dragonspiral Tower! Catch you later!'

He walked up the stairs, and I followed suit. Right was a pokemon center, where I healed and saved, in preparation for this city's gym.

**I  
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	43. Sliding into Seventh

**A/N: That Reviewer Guy: I'm trying to do these so that if you don't get them, they're still funny. The Hitchhiker chapter did have some bad ones, and I'm redoing it along with the rest of the story, but thanks for pointing it out.**

**Another thing is that as of now I now have 15,000+ hits, AND 150 reviews! While some people may think this is a little, for me it's a lot. It's a sign of dedication. One that people actually like this. Though they probably don't like my speeches, so here's the next chapter.**

Chapter 43: Sliding into Seventh

Icirrus City was structured like a big L, with the bottom part leading to a route. Houses adorned the I-like section, with the gym and path to Dragonspiral Tower up at the top.

From the pokemon center I headed up, and passed a bunch of people dancing… or, spinning around. This added a clapping track to the otherwise calm music, and I stopped for a few seconds before continuing my exploration.

Up from there were two houses. The right one contained a few random NPCs, and the left one contained two people, a Munna, and a Krokorok.

'Welcome to the Pokemon Fan Club.' Said the one closest to the entrance.

'Ferroseed: Wot's that?'

"In every game, there's a fan club. They check the happiness, and the leader brags about their pokemon."

'Munna: Yeah, that's pretty much it, voice dude. If you have any questions, or know of a way to escape his speeches, please let me know.' the Munna spoke up.

"Thanks, but I don't think we have any questions. Now what does this guy have to say…"

'Samurott: No questions. '

'Stoutland: OHMYARC- uh, RESHIRAM! This is the guy who has long speeches, according to the Munna!'

"Fine, I'll save then."

'Litwick: What does saving have to do with that?'

"Nothing, but it's a good excuse."

I saved, walked up to him, and pressed A.

'Ahem! I am the chairman who loves Pokemon the most among Pokefans in the entire world! You can see my Krokorok here has been raised with the utmost care, and love, distinguishing it from other Krokoroks by sheer love! You can see how it's…'

I stopped reading and began to mash the A button. A, A, A, A, A, A, Yes.

"Wait, what did I just say yes to?"

'Litwick: Uh oh.'

The screen changed to the Pokemon screen, with the text box urging me to Choose a Pokemon.

'Unfezant: Pick me! I don't know what it's for but pick me!'

"Anyone else want to do it?"

…

"Ok, Unfezant. Prepare to be in a life of work or something."

'Pansear: I thought you didn't know what it was.'

"I didn't. I was joking." I said as I selected Unfezant.

'Oh!' said the chairman. 'This Unfezant was level 10 when you met, but now it's level 35!'

'Stoutland: THAT's what he has to say about it? Pure levels?'

'Unfezant: Yeah! I'm level 35, which means awesome!'

'Litwick: So what happens when you level up?'

'Unfezant: Level 36 is awesome too! Every level is awesome for me!'

'Samurott: …'

'Stoutland: uh…'

Luckily, the Chairman interrupted. 'You raised it well. You must be affectionate.'

He then gave us the long-saught after EXP. SHARE!

'Kyle obtained an Exp. Share!' read the ever-narrating text box.

'Ferroseed: Wot's so important about it that it has to be capitalized?'

'Pansear: Ugh. When held, it shares EXP as if you're in a bat- hey, you know about this! I have one!'

"Then why can you hear me?"

'Pansear: Because I ca-OHKRABBYWHYDYOUREMEMBER?'

'Litwick: What?'

'Stoutland: Pansear has an Amplifier, and when it's off, he can't hear. And through questioning it the game remembered the added mechanics. Way to go Kyle, by the way.'

"Look, it's not my fault. If you want to not have the EXP. Share, I can do that. One sec…"

I opened the pokemon menu for the second time in the minute, and switched Pansear's item with the Amplifier. "Pansear?" I asked.

'Pansear: Yes?'

"Do you want to have an Exp. share or an amplifier?"

'Pansear: …I'll go with Amplifier. We can use switch-training or something.'

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Unfezant: CAN WE JUST GO TO THE GYM NOW?'

'Litwick: Me too!'

"OK, gym it is."

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The seventh gym was Ice-type, in a underground slidey puzzle like the Cold Storage. There was some unaccessible dark grass on top of the gym, but because it was unacessible I didn't pay it much thought. After getting a Fresh Water from Clyde, I slid up… to head right into a curve and spin out onto a tile.

'Unfezant: What the Arceus?'

'Litwick: Ewww, that was slidey!'

"Of course it was. It's ice!" I said, pressing right and sliding onto a little landmass.

'Litwick: No, the post thingy! An- hey, are those gears under the ice? Cool! And that's a switch over there? What happens if I press it?'

Litwick popped out of his pokeball, and headed up, towards a big orange button.

'Stoutland: No! There's a guy in the wa-'

An ! appeared over a Fighter's head, and the screen shifted to the battle screen.

'Pansear: With no hint of ice? What kind of a game is this to not have an icy background?'

'Samurott: Let it pass; game freak has a great game with a few inconsistencies.'

Two Crunches fainted his Cubchoo, and Pansear came in to faint a Cyrogonal and another Cubchoo, growing to level 35.

'Pansear: FINALLY!'

"Yes, finally. Now Litwick?"

'Liwick: Yes?'

"PRESS DA BUTTON!" I said, in my best epic voice I could do.

And Samurott and Unfezant burst out laughing.

'Unfezant: Hahaha! That's HILARIOUS! I think my wings hurt! Bwahahaha!'

'Stoutland: Oh my… Arceus…you…fail…so…much…hahaha…owmysword…'

'Litwick: So… can I press the button?'

"Nope, because I did it!" I said, pressing up to step on the button.

The half-visible gears turned, spinning the post towards me.

'Litwick: Not again…'

'Ferroseed: Wot's so bad about it?'

'Litwick: The spinniness!'

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Litwick: It's so spinny that I feel kinda sick and it's bad an-'

'Ferroseed: And it's done.'

'Litwick: What?'

I entered a battle with a Cyrogonal, while Litwick and Ferroseed argued.

'Ferroseed: Yeah, we're on the other side now!'

The music changed to the low HP remix, and Litwick continued arguing.

'Litwick: No we're not! If we had moved, I would have noticed!'

'Ferroseed: Well, you do seem to be missing a lot of wot's going around you.'

Stoutland fainted, and Unfezant came in for a Quick Attack win.

'Litwick: No I'm not! Stop insulting me!'

'Ferrosed: Stop talking and look around. It's always good.'

To the right were some stairs, leading to an ice bridge. I slid along, JUMPED OVER A BLACK PIT OF DOOM, and slid to another area.

'Litwick: But we're in the same plac- AAAH! How'd everything change?'

"I'm sorry to say this, but he so told you so."

I

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	44. The plot Begins

Chapter 44: The plot begins

'Samurott: What? This is the GYM battle. And the Plasma plot's been going on for some time now. Better chapter title.'

**Fine.**

Chapter 44: The plot begins…next chapter

'Samurott: …'

'Litwick: What?'

'Samurott: Look at the chapter title! It just sucks!'

'Litwick: Where? What?'

'Samurott: Look. Right there.'

'Litwick: All I see is a wall. What are you looking at anyway?'

'Samurott: Oh Arceus…'

Chapter 44: The plot begins

TAKE TWO

'Litwick: So you're telling me that while I proved to Ferroseed that I am right about absolutely everything-'

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Litwick: -that you did stuff without me in this ice gym? What kind of a world is this?'

'Stoutland: One that has a lot of polygons, and has tons of interesting game mechanics, and one that should be studied instead of arguing with people.'

'Litwick: How do you even come up with that stuff?'

'Stoutland: …'

"So then, Litwick, you might want to pay attention. As in, you're in a battle.'

'Litwick: What? Oh, that Cubchoo. Then why is Unfezant battling it?'

"Because I succeded in getting you to pay attention."

'Litwick: Oh no! That's so bad so now I have to go not pay attention again!'

'Stoutland: You fail at sarcasm.'

A Fly took out the Cubchoo, and I headed right, colliding with a row of blocks. Up collided with another block, and I headed to the right, stopping on one of the non-slippery sides of a post.

One step to the right was a Battle Girl with a Cubchoo and a Vanillish, a mutant ice cream cone bigger than a Vanillite. It had two more eyes underneath the mouth, and two chunks of ice in the 'ice cream' served as hands. The first was defeated by Flying, while an Ice Bean knocked Unfezant out.

'Unfezant: …darn…I…wanted…to…try…eating…him…'

'Ferroseed: The mutant ice cream is a her.'

'Unfezant: …her…sorry.'

Pansear came in and Flame Bursted the Vanillish, growing to level 36. This meant he was caught up with the rest of the team, save Unfezant.

Down and right led to a little outcropping, with a way to spin on the post. I did so, then went upward and stepped on a switch. This turned the post, which enabled me to go up, left, and spin off of it to the next section.

'Litwick: Ooh, an ice bridge! Me try!'

Litwick popped out of his pokeball, and slid across the ice, into a depression, OVER THE DARKNESS… and offscreen.

So I slid after him.

Halfway across the bridge, in midair… the screen changed to the battle screen.

'Litwick: Sorry! But she wouldn't let me past!'

'Samurott: Just be happy that I'm battling instead of you.'

Two Surfs took out a Vanillish, and two more surfs took out another, winning the battle.

To the left and up was another post, and I slid on it to the left. Up and right made me spin the other direction, onto a little outcropping. What the game wanted me to do was to go up, battle someone, and press the switch.

What I did was press the wrong key and head right through a rock.

'Pansear: What?'

'Stoutland: Glitch!'

'Samurott: Awesome!'

"We get to skip him? Cool. And awesome at the same time!"

'Pansear: And see there? Glitch. I'm telling you, they need to debug more.'

'Stoutland: Appreciate what it is! I've told you!'

The method of skipping entailed going up, then to the left to press the switch. This turned the post, and I slid down onto a tile. Then left and down set me up to spin again. From there I could access a gap in the rocks, and stairs beckoned to the gym leader.

'Ferroseed: Whoa! Wot are those spiky things?'

"They're icicles. Which means… that the camera is mounted on the ceiling! Or they're really big icicles. But it's a nice touch."

I saved, and pressed A on him. 'You appear ready to face a Gym Leader. Then… Bring it!'

The screen flashed, the pillars of lava and water collided, and I began the match against Brycen.

'Samurott: Another Vanillish? Level 37? Maybe we should have trained.'

"Or at least let Litwick or Pansear battle."

'Samurott: Nah, I can handle this.'

'Litwick: Ok! Go Samurott!'

A surf and an Aqua Jet took down the annoying ice cream cone, taking two weak Mirror Shots. Or would have, if not for a Hyper Potion. Or two.

'Ferroseed: How many does he have?'

"He better not have a third."

He didn't, enabling Samurott to faint Vanillish once and for all. Brycen's next pokemon was a Beartic, big white bear with icicles hanging down from his chin. Oh yeah, and he was level 39.

'Pansear: What? Oh no. The level cap's gone up, meaning after here we're gonna face trainers with level 40s!'

"I don't know. The gym leader is supposed to be a challenge, and-"

I was interrupted by a spiky text box covering the screen. It read: 'Beartic: Shut yer' yappin! I'm waiting for ye', and if you won't do anything, I will!'

'Samurott: Oh Gear Shift.'

Beartic used Slash, and knocked Samurott's 40-ish HP to 0.

'Litwick: Wow, he's strong!'

'Beartic: Of course I am! 'Else how would I fight ye' all?'

'Litwick: By losing?'

'Beartic: But I don't lose!'

'Litwick: But how about to Flame Burst?'

Litwick used Flame Burst, getting Beartic's HP down to the yellow. Before Litwick could do anything, though, Beartic used Brine, a water move, and fainted Litwick.

'Litwick: Oh, Gear Shift.'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Can I go and put an end to this?'

"Sure. "

Ferroseed came out of his quick ball with a flash, and just as quickly Beartic began laughing.

'Beartic: Oh ho! What, a wee ball 'o metal's gonna defeat me?'

'Ferroseed: A WOT?'

Ferroseed somehow got the power/courage/game mechanics to change, and a little red plus appeared on him for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with emoticons, this is a ticked-off symbol.

I looked down at the text box, and saw that Beartic was using Swagger. This caused the opponent to be confused, but their attack was raised. Which isn't good when the opponent hits hard with Gyro Ball.

'Ferroseed: I AM NOT A BALL OF METAL! CAN A BALL OF METAL CURSE. THEN. GYRO. BALL. YOU. INTO. FAINTING?'

Ferroseed tried to use Gyro Ball, but Beartic used Icicle Crash, a new move, getting Ferroseed's health down to 2.

'Ferroseed: CAN ONE?'

Ferroseed used Gyro ball! But Ferroseed is confused! Ferroseed hurt herself( herself?) In her confusion! Ferroseed fainted!

'Pansear: I guess it's all up to me or something. Do we have any revives?'

I pressed Bag, then Status Restore. We had one. But who to use it on?

I chose Ferroseed.

Beartic got a brine off, but Pansear used Fire Blast. Finishing him off for good.

'Beartic: A wee lad like yourself… How'd ye beat me?'

'Ferroseed: Maybe he's not so weak as you thot. Good job, Pansear!'

'Samurott: Wait… Beartic… do…a….Vader…No.'

'Litwick: Shouldn't the animation be done now?'

Beartic barely had time to say 'What?' before he fell through the floor. 'Beartic fainted!' read the text box.

'Pansear: I'm sure it's a plot-related event, but I feel thirsty. Did you use the Fresh Water?'

"Yeah…"

The text box popped up. 'We still have that not-exactly tea. Would you like it?'

'Pansear: Wha- oh. Yes.'

'Here you go! And thank you for shopping at Porygon delivery syste-'

It was cut off by Pansear.

'Panser: THIS IS LEMONADE!'

'What? Oh… that does explain it. I apologize for the inconv-'

'Samurott: Quiet! We've done the Hitchhiker part!'

'Oh. Well, if you need any drinks, we're here.'

A second passed as Pansear realized the music that was playing.

'Pansear: You realize you made me miss both a level up, and Ferroseed fainting a Cyrogonal, right?'

'Well, that's not my fault. Bye.'

As soon as the text box disappeared, the battle screen disappeared too. In that magnificent animation, I got a white spyky badge: The Freeze badge. He also gave me a TM for Frost Breath, a move which always gets a Critical hit.

"So, we got the Freeze Badge!"

'Litwick: …yay….can…we…heal?'

I noticed something to the left, and headed over.

"Sure. Hey, is this a slide?"

I pressed left, and watched as I slid down in a great display of 3D graphics, dropping off at the entrance.

'Pansear: Cool.'

I headed outside, to find Cheren and Bianca standing there.

'Cheren: Kyle, I've been talking with Bianca, and I'm wondering… since we left Nuvema town, has something about me… changed?'

"Yes, you've started to focus less on strength."

He continued. 'Thinking about what I want to do… Thinking about what I should do… It felt like there was nothing… have I really become stronger? Or is it just my pokemon that have?'

'Litwick: Too many questions!'

Litwick was saved by Brycen coming out of the gym. 'Who are you?'

'Bianca: Who? Us? I'm Bianca, and this is Cheren…'

'Brycen: I know you are there! Why don't you show yourselves!'

A realization hit me. "The Plasma ninjas!"

The music changed to Plasma's creepy one as my suspiscions were confirmed. Three dudes popped out of the shadows, causing !s to appear.

'Litwick: Aah! Who are they!'

'Stoutland: The Plasma ninjas. They do creepy stuff.'

'…' The left one said. 'Impressive, Gym Leader of Icirrus City. We, the Shadow Triad, are beings of the shadows… and not easily noticed.'

'Our mission was to speak only with Kyle, but so be it.' The right one said. 'Ghetsis has a message for you: Come to Dragonspiral Tower. It is there that our lord N waits for you. …Now, our mission is complete.'

'Brycen: Dragonspiral Tower? What's going on?'

'Pansear: Plot event, in 3,2,1…'

A large spiky text box appeared. Its contents:

**BOOM!**

Cheren and Brycen headed north, towards the tower, to investigate, while I headed to the pokemon center to heal. Once that was done, I headed up. Bianca came up as I neared the entrance, as well as Cedrick. He reintroduced himself, and explained the situation. Some Plasma dudes- quite a large group- broke through the tower wall and went inside. Bianca asked what Dragonspiral tower was, and I mashed A. Legend pokemon, blah blah Plasma, blah blah, don't worry! Blah blah bodyguard blah blah I got an Old Gateau blah done.

'Samurott: Old gateau from Sinnoh's Old Chateau? Yay. Now let's go continue the plot!'

'Stoutland: And beat the Plasma dudes!'

'Unfezant: And I can finally have my cake!'

**A/N: Wow. When you have an hour of writing time, you get long chapters. And yes, the plot has started now. Happy, Samurott?**

'Stoutland: huh?'

'Samurott: He named the chapter 'The Plot Begins'. I mean, seriously!'

'Stoutland: Calm down. While it's bad, he can change it. I think.'

'Samurott: But he isn't! And the title will stay like that and I want to change it by force using Plasma's meth- OW! WTFAPINEAPPLE?'

'Pansear: Whoever threw that, thank you for (hopefully) knocking some sense into Samurott.'

**Did he just say using Plasma's methods?**

'Samurott: No…I said to eat furry chickens…'

'Litwick: Though who threw it? This is a closed space, right? Or was it a quantum data array… I can't remember the book…'

**I blame a reviewer. Note to everyone: Please do not throw fruit.**

'Litwick: Is that even needed? It could cause whoever's doing it to keep doing it!'

**You know what? This has gone too long. End of chapter.**

**\|/**


	45. Barricade Barrage

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughing-related injuries that may result from the reading of this. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 45: Barricade Barrage

I headed through the shadow that marked an area change from the top of Icirrus city. When I did, the music changed to Celestial Tower's bittersweet theme, and I arrived in a clearing. Past that was a bridge, blocked by a Plasma Grunt. I tried going onto the bridge, but-

'Team Plasma: HEY!' appeared onscreen.

The grunt walked over. 'I'm guarding this bridge, and no one's going up without my say so!'

'Ferroseed: Are you going to battle us?'

As if on cue, a Grunt ran up from below. 'Sorry I'm late! Lord N needs us!' he said, then ran up, offscreen.

'Hey! I didn't say you could go! Get back here!' yelled the first one, chasing after the other grunt.

'Unfezant: Yeah! Chase him, Grunt #2!'

"That was… odd."

'Samurott: Though, it did take care of the guard…'

'Stoutland: Deus ex machina. I'm telling you.'

'Litwick: Twose eggs machine? What?'

'Stoutland: Deus ex machina, god in the machine. When a problem is solved by something inexpliciably coming from somewhere.'

'Litwick: So the porygon drink dude was one?'

'Stoutland: Yes…'

'Litwick: Because I think there's been a lot of these late- oh look, the pillars are knocked over! Who would do such a thing?'

'Ferroseed: Team Plasma? And wot happened to the deus thi-'

'Litwick: Yes! Plasma! Let us go after them, led by Commander Litwick! Onward!'

'Stoutland: …led by? Commander?'

'Pansear: Let him do his roleplaying.'

I walked forward, and the camera panned up to show a gaping hole blown open in the tower.

'Litwick: Whoa! The path lies forward! Let us be off!'

'Pansear: We're already off.'

'Litwick: Then let us continue being off!'

I took a few more steps, and a white blur slammed into me, then stopped.

'Emo: Ow! Move it, yo- oh, it's you. I'm heading up to see the dragon dude there. You might want to come check it out. Anyway, see you later!'

Emo ran a little to the left and into the tower.

'Samurott: Ohkaay. What the heck?'

"And we're not even in the tower yet!"

'Unfezant: Then let's go in, obviously! We have to go see Emo's dragon dude for a party!'

I stepped in.

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The inside of Dragonspiral tower was more along the lines of a swimming pool, with a green path around the side of a body of blue water. The path led up, right, and was blocked in part by a stream of little text bubbles.

"Whoa."

'Ferroseed: Wot's that?'

"What's what?"

'Ferroseed: There, in the corner.'

'Unfezant: It's a constant stream of text bubbles, DUH.'

"But from the, um, reads of it, it seems like they're struggling."

'Samurott: Then let's go check it out!'

The path led right, up to the wall, and up. A wall separated another section from it, and blocking the upper path were a bunch of Plasma grunts.

I took another step and saw what the grunts were facing: a group of turquoise pokemon.

'Team Plasma: Come on, you stupid pokemon! Let us through!'

'?: We have told you negative already. You are not worthy. Please hold your position until reinforcements arrive and master Golurk can dole proper Judgement.' said the leftmost pokemon.

"Golurk?"

'#421, name = "?".' Said another.

'421: You have addressed me. Name now equals 421. Thanks.' Said the first.

Another one spoke up. '?: Person approaching. Begin scan?'

'Samurott: Wait, WHAT?'

'421: #329, scan authorized.'

'329: Beginning.'

A second passed before a text box belonging to someone non-Plasmic popped up.

'329: Scan complete. Possible matches: {Random NPC in Castelia city, Hero[15]}'

'Litwick: WHAAAT? HERO?'

'?: Wow. Possibility of error?'

'329: 0.001 percent, #401.'

'401: Then send back to Castelia and maintain blockade.'

'421: ! (overlook matches[2]), #401.'

'401: You think = hero[15] ? What about you, #520?'

'520: *nods*'

It is worth mentioning at this point that the Plasma grunts are still trying to get through the blockade of as-of-yet unrevealed pokemon. However, the pokemon are more plot-related and so the Plasma grunts take a backseat.

'Pansear: Look, those are Goletts.'

'Stoutland: So what are they doing? And why do they think Kyle's some sort of her- oh, wait. They mean the protagonist, don't they?'

"Maybe… but they're still an odd bunch."

'329: Please refrain from insulting us. Us != odd. We are programmed this way.'

"So can you let me through?"

'329: False. If (let you through){ will run through} .'

520 turned to face up, and 329. 520 walked forward in place, then 329 walked forward in place. And then the group of Goletts retreated as one.

'Samurott: They're… retreating?'

'Team Plasma: Hey, they're going back!'

'Press forward! Plasmaaaa!'

The plasma members walked forward too… only for something white to fall REALLY FAST and push those at the front lines of both parties back.

'Litwick: Hey! That water balloon got my pokeball wet!'

'Pansear: The sprite doesn't have pokeballs on it.'

'Litwick: Explain why I feel wet then.'

'Pansear: …'

From the effects of this water balloon thing, both parties were scattered randomly on the little area that they had. This, unfortunately, had the effect of creating a gap in the Goletts' blockade.

'Hey, an opening! Charge!'

'520: O_O'

The Plasma grunts rushed forward. Some bumped into the Goletts, some rushed into the gap, and all of them made it past. The Goletts all turned upwards, looking at where the grunts went.

'Stoutland: That's gotta hurt.

'401: …Ow. Mission Failed…'

'520: x_x'

'329: Wait! We have NPC hero! Mission = Fission Mailed! Mission can be completed!'

'421: How?'

'329: We send hero_name[15] up to go defeat !'

'520: !'

'421: What, #520?'

520 looked up, then down, then towards 421.

If the game had the memory, I'm sure 421 would have his face turn red.

'421: YOU WANT TO GO WITH HIM? DO YOU HAVE A VIRUS? WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY WILL DO?'

'Pansear: The game's rated E. I think. I'm sure nothing bad is going to happen.'

"Wait. He wants to come… and we have six pokemo- oh, not this again."

'Litwick: So now he wants to come?'

'520: *nods*'

'Litwick: So then Plasma… and dragon…. And…Aah! These plot points are too difficult to understand!'

**A/N: 421 is named in honor of TK-421, the only stormtrooper to be called by designation. 329 is Torterra's national dex no., 401 is 104 backwards, and 520… well, he doesn't talk. And is a reference to something, backwards. You figure it out.**

**Random note: Aside from B/W, there have been 15 pokemon games, counting pairs as two. **


	46. Legendary Climbing

**A/N: **

**Reviewer dude: Only 421's number was from Star Wars. I actually referenced Metal Gear too (Snake), the chapter name was inspired by Donkey Kong games, and 104 (401 backwards)... I'm not sure where it came from. The plot points comment comes from Super Paper Mario, and 329 = Torterra = my first ever starter. I still won't say what 520 is, but think about silent green-headed people. And NO, it is not Pikachu. Personally I dislike them.**

**So no, it's not just a Star Wars reference, but glad you all liked that chapter. Don't worry, the hilarity will continue.**

Chapter 46: Legendary Climbing

'Litwick: Agh! So the Golett wants to come, while there's a dragon on top of the tower, and emo got past the blockade thing BEFORE they came, so either the Plasma people are really slow, or the writer dude's being lazy and not fixing plot holes… or… UGH! Why is everything so complicated!'

'Stoutland: Because it is? I cope by just focusing on one thing at a time, and you're kind of another thing I have to pay attention to. So can you stop with the overthinking and come over here?'

'Litwick: What for?'

'Samurott: We're trying to figure out whether to or not to let 520 come with us.'

'Litwick: I think he's plot important, so I vote yes.'

'Ferroseed: Wo- oh. Sorry.'

'Pansear: You know that means I might have to go?'

'Litwick: Oh… so then… or… AGH! This seems like it's choosing between a plot event or a friend.'

"It is!"

'421: Please stay on topic. # = 100% . I cannot convince him otherwise.'

This text box remained largely ignored.

'Litwick: So why can't we do both? I don't know, have someone walk behind Kyle or someth- hey, I got that 'over too fast' feeling again.'

"That still doesn't solve anything. We still would have to choose who would go."

…

'Pansear: You're all expecting me to go, right?'

'Litwick: …no, why him?'

'Samurott: Sorry, but pretty much.'

'Pansear: Oh, come on!'

"I can give you the Old Gateau."

'329: while(memes exist){ I hate them}. Why? And hasn't there been enough already?'

'Pansear: Not fooled. I'm not like Unfezant.'

'Unfezant: HEY! I take offense to that remark, but not that much.'

"Unfezant, if you got the old Gateau, would you be willing to leave the team?"

'Unfezant: Sure! I get cake! (Pansear, what did I sign up for?)'

'Pansear: You shall now walk behind Kyle for the rest of the game.'

'Unfezant: Oh. That's not so bad. Cake, please?'

I pressed X,Bag, Medicine, Old Gateau, and give.

'Unfezant: Dananana! I got the CAKE! Nomnomnomnom…'

'520: …'

'Ferroseed: She's always like this, don't worry. So now I think you can join the team!'

'520: :D'

Unfezant popped out of her pokeball, and walked behind me, while 520 walked over in front and disappeared.

'Samurott: No. No good enough. Needs more fanfare or something.'

'401: Hee hee. Projecting.

The screen blackened, then showed Unfezant's sprite. The music changed to the evolution music too.

"What?"

'Unfezant: So… why is it showing me?'

Unfezant, in a flash of light, turned into a pokeball, bounced once, and shot into the air.

'Litwick: Okay, what?'

The screen changed to a red bar, with Unfezant sliding down to theright, and what I assumed to be a Golett heading up to the left of it. While this happened, two pokeballs flew up in the red bar, spun around, and fell back.

A realization hit me. "I think this is the trade animation!"

A pokeball fell down from the sky, and opened to show a Golett. 'You got a Golett!' read the text box.

And then the screen changed back to the overworld as if nothing happened.

'421: I did not give permission. Please refrain from repeating this incident.'

'401: I wanted to! And it's fun!'

'421: You are showing excessive levels of emotion. Please seek counseling.'

'401: Please don't channel Cyrus.'

While this exchange went on, I headed up, past the Goletts, and up some stairs, Unfezant in tow.

'329: (hero[15] has left) = true; just saying.'

'421: What?'

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As soon as I went up the stairs, the screen shook wildly. 'Is… is something… going wild at the top of the tower?' narrated the text box.

'Litwick: It sounds like something's going wild at the top of the tower. Let's continue checking it out!'

'Ferroseed: Is it emo's dragon pokemon?'

The second floor had a split: left or right. Which to go… I chose right.

'Cheren: Kyle!'

The screen panned over to Cheren, on a ledge leading to the next room. 'You can walk on the fallen columns, too. I'm going after Team Plasma!'

The screen panned back over , showing wrecked pillars lying on the ground. Debris strewn about the green floor just added to the effect.

'520: ! … :('

520 popped out of his pokeball, and began running all over the place.

'520: D;'

'Ferroseed: Wot is i- OH! Wot's with the wreckage?

'Unfezant: Wreckage? Yay!'

Unfezant popped out of her pokeball too, and ran forward, smacking into 520.

'520: D;'

'Unfezant: Sorry. There's wreckage! Play!'

Unfezant sped upwards… running right up what I assumed to be a wall. Unfezant stood on the top edge of the once-mighty pillar and looked.

I headed left, up and looked as well. And saw a Strength rock. Stoutland pushed it aside, clearing the way to where Cheren once stood.

'Unfezant: Hey, wait for me!'

Unfezant came through the path, followed by 508.

'Pansear: Wait! Pokeball below!'

I headed down, and found a Stardust. "Cool. Now let's head to the next room."

The next room was a circular tower, with a stairway leading from the edge to to the middle. In the middle was a bunch of jumping platforms: one-way jumps that go over a gap.

'520: …'

'Litwick: There's no destruction here?'

'Stoutland: Again, the game writer being lazy. I think. Or maybe they forgot to destroy some things to we couldn't go up. But N wanted us to come, so they didn't destroy it? Yeah.'

A jump down lead to three paths. I could see the top path led in a circle, so I took the middle path. It left, up, and right to a Shiny Stone, then back to the beginning. I took the bottom path this time, heading to a set of other stairs leading up. The door was positioned right over the door I came in, and had light coming from it.

I headed through… to find Brycen and Cheren battling some Grunts.

'520: ! … D:'

I tool another step and the camera shifted over to Cheren.

'Brycen: Kyle! We'll hold them from here! You go on ahead!'

"Well, that's nice of them."

Past them the path led down, blocked by several Plasma Grunts.

'520: D:'

520 popped out of… its pokeball, and ran up to the grunt.

'Samurott: Golett dude, no!'

The screen flashed and changed to the battle screen: level 32 Golett versus level 34 Watchog.

'Samurott: See? That's what happens when you do that!'

'520: *nods*'

On its own, 520 started off with Iron Defense, then used Magnitude, a ground-type move. It didn't do much damage because the Watchog used Psych up. Psych up copies the opponent's stat changes, in effect causing Watchog to use Iron Defense too. If Golett had used either Mega Punch or DynamicPunch, Psych up would have done nothing, and it would be boosted by Golett's ability, Iron Fist.

'520: … *nods*'

520's next move was DynamicPunch, which was both super effective and boosted by Iron Fist. A Mega Punch fainted the annoying Watchog, winning the battle.

'520: :D'

'Pansear: …did you seriously just take the narrator's advice?'

'Stoutland: You know, if he had a special move it could have just bypassed the Defense entirely. '

"Hmm… what do we have for TMs?"

I pressed Bag, then the TM pocket. Charge Beam…Acrobatics…Rock Slide… ooh, Poison Jab! Flash Cannon… yeah. "Hey… 520? Or can I just call you Golett? Anyway, want to learn Flash Cannon?"

'520: ? … *nods*'

I booted up the TM… to find that only Ferroseed could learn it.

"Okay, never mind. Charge Beam?"

NOBODY could learn Charge Beam on my team. Aside from Frost Breath, those were the only special TMs I had.

"So, that didn't work out. Ok then. On to the next Grunt!"

'Unfezant: Yeh! Fwn fose shashma buntsh! (nom nom nom)'

'Litwick: How big is that cake, anyway?'

The next Grunt had a Liepard. As usual, 520 started with Iron Defense, before I realized his HP was about one quarter and gave him a Moomoo Milk. The Liepard used Assurance, taking his full HP down to 30.

'Stoutland: How about I take over?'

"Knock him out."

'520: ! …'

One Rock Smash got a sizeable chunk of HP down before Stoutland fainted, so Samurott came in, fainting it. Some steps led up to another Grunt with a Scraggy, who got Samurott and Golett up to 37 and 33, respectively. One more Grunt with a blocked the way with two Liepards , both of which were taken care of by Ferroseed.

The last Grunt in the tower (at least, I hoped) had a Watchog, a Krokorok, and a Scraggy. Golett took out the Krokorok, and Litwick and Pansear fainted the other two. Golett grew to level 34 from this.

To the right of some stairs was a Dragon Fang, and at the top of those stairs… was a door.

'Pansear: Cue plot event.'

I entered the door… to find a circular floor. No Plasma members to be found.

"Ah well. Left or right?"

'Litwick: Left!'

'Samurott: Left.'

"Ok, then. Left"

'Unfezant: hey! I fonted shoo o to duh rife!'

Left led to a one-way ledge, so I headed the other way. At the end there was a bridge crossing to another ring. Left gave me a Star Piece, and access to the third ring. From there I went right, up, right, past a one-way ledge, down, and left to some stairs.

'Stoutland: Ok…Pansear…your…plot…event…will…happen…now…'

The stairs led to ANOTHER room. I headed up… and the screen shook, and a pokemon cried. 'It's shocking!' read a spiky text box. 'It sounds like something is on a rampage at the top of the tower!'

'520: …! D:'

'Litwick: Scary…'

"Yeah. Is emo's dragon dude playing jump rope?"

I headed up, found a Max Elixir, and headed left to find one of the Seven Sages.

'Giallo: It's finally time. Our Lord N will become the hero!'

He then noticed me. 'What? Someone made it clear up here? Now! Stop that Trainer! For our lord N!'

'Litwick: Hey…N…told us…to…come!'

'Samurott: They can't hear you.'

'Litwick: Oh…gear…shift'

Four Plasma Grunts surrounded me, cutting off every point of escape.

'Giallo: Everyone who isn't Team Plasma is an enemy! Use all your powers to take them out!'

Cue four battles, right after one another.

In order: The pokemon faced were a Watchog, Watchog, Krokorok, Trubbish, Liepard, and a Watchog. The level-ups gotten, in order, were Golett.

Once I beat all of them… they let me through. Even Giallo had no comment, no efforts to stop me. So, unobstructed, I climbed some stairs hopefully for the last time.

I emerged in a little room, with no music at all. There was a path to the right, and a one tile wide gap upward. I chose up.

But before that could happen Emo shot up from the stairs.

'Emo: pant…pant… oh. It's you. How'd you get up here before me? (Darn circular room.)'

Emo walked towards the path I was going to go.

'Anyway, my friend's right over here- whoa!'

I walked over, and the screen panned over to show N, and a ton of broken pillars before turning black.

In a split second, the camera detatched itself from the ceiling and descended to my height (about). The camera scrolled up from the floor, showing N, a gaping hole in the wall, and some black legs.

'520: …!'

'Litwick: Eek…'

'Emo: Hey! Zekrom! It's me, Emo!'

The camera panned up to reveal a vaguely humanoid shape, with wings jutting from the shoulders, and red eyes. Evil red eyes.

And then it switched to the overworld, with Zekrom looking a lot less menacing due to the power of chibi.

'520: … D:'

Golett popped out of his pokeball and ran off to investigate the hole, while N turned back to me.

'N: What do you think, Kyle? How do you like the powerful form of the Pokemon who appears before and fights beside the hero that will lead the way to a new world?'

He turned back, facing Zekrom.

'Now, Zekrom and I will head to the Pokemon league and defeat the Champion! This will be the last of the Pokemon battles that hurt pokemon so. A world for pokemon alone… it's finally going to be a reality.'

'Zekrom: Wait. Um… squirrel thing? Can I have those cookies?'

Emo stepped out from behind a pillar.

'Emo: Wait, you don't remember me?'

'Zekrom: No… why would I remember a little pipqueak?'

'Emo: HEY? YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY COO- WHERE DID MY COOKIES GO?'

'Zekrom: Mmulf. Fesh ookesh ar dewishus! Em, yoo fond shom?'

'Emo: HEY! YOU SUPER AWESOME LEGENDARY POKEMON STOLE MY COOKIES! PREPARE TO DIE!'

'Samurott: …'

'N: …maybe while I fly.'

Zekrom's sprite changed to a floating one, and he flew up.

'Emo: HEY! GET BACK HERE! I NEED TO GET MY COOKIES BACK!'

N turned to me. 'If you want to stop me, you must become a hero as well! You, emolga, will have to work a lot harder to defeat the Champion and get your cookies. Because when Zekrom's counterpart, Reshiram, recognizes you, we will finally be even, and then you can try to stop us! Well, what will you do?

'My prediction… you will meet Reshiram. Will you be the one who interferes with my formula?'

'Zekrom: …N… tee Emoga's ekeing hafuc iff my efitashon. Can we go are edy?'

'N: I must give this so-called 'backstory' thing. Ghetsis believes it's the right thing to do. Anyway. If you want to protect the bonds between people and pokemon, you must search for Reshiram! I'm sure it is waiting for you in the form of the Light Ston-'

'Zekrom:*gulp* N! I'm going. Are you going to come?'

'N: Fine!'

Zekrom swooped down, picked up N, and flew off just as Cheren and Brycen came up.

'Emo: That Magikarp! He just ran off with my cookies!'

**A/N: Emo = fun. Emoticon talk = fun. Cookies = hilarity.**

**And has anyone else hesitated to faint pokemon after giving them characterization? Darn empathy…**

**I**

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	47. Draconic Discussion

Chapter 47: Draconic Discussion

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Cheren and Brycen, newly arrived at the scene, took the time to look around.

'Cheren: Kyle, did you see what flew off just now?'

'Brycen: How could this happen?'

'Cheren: Why? That was that guy N, right? Why was he with the legendary pokemon?'

'Emo: BECAUSE THEY STEAL COOKIES!'

'Cheren: He couldn't really be the hero, could he?'

'Samurott: No, Kyle's the protagonist. Hero?'

Cheren continued. 'Also, did I hear him tell you to search for the other legendary pokemon?'

'Brycen: Calm down! First we go back! It's more important to decide what to do next than analyze what just happened.'

Cheren and Brycen walked down as the screen faded to black… and an ! appeared over 520's head.

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(Please note that I did not view this. However, for your reading pleaure, please enjoy this.)

'Emo: …did they… just… walk into air and disappear?'

'520: …*slowly nods*

'Emo: Ugh. What's going on today? First THE MAGIKARP and the cookies, now this? I couldn't even get an insult in! And I have to walk all the way down!'

'520: ?'

'Emo: What. I'm not going to bother explaining myself to a little robot dude like you. What do you run, MS-DOS? Or Golett Laxed Applications Disk OS?'

While Emo was talking, 520 ran out to the giant crack in the wall

'520: …? ! :D'

'Emo: Wha- were you even listening to my rant? Get back here!'

Emo ran over to where 520 was.

'Emo: Wh- whoa. That's steep. I'm NOT going down there, if that's what you're thinking.'

'520: *shakes he-*! … :D'

'Emo: What's up with your evil fac- oh. I just gave the idea, didn't I?'

'520: *nods head*'

520 ran behind Emo, and kicked her into the air before stepping off the floor.

'Emo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!'

'520: :DDD'

Both pokemon continued falling.

'Emo: Look! You know that we're going to fall right into the first floor, right? And collide it and end up in a Mystery Zone? Wai- what are you doing? Now is not the time to fight!'

'520: *shakes head*'

'Emo: Then why are you using Mega Punch? Look, the ceiling's about to come. We're both about to faint! FAINT! IN A MYSTERY ZONE! Any last words?'

'520: :D'

**Somewhere on the first floor of Dragonspiral Tower, **a bunch of Goletts were gathering. One Golett stepped forward. He was a bit nervous, and the turnout just increased that. Taking a deep breath, he said:

'?: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the 2nd annual Golettian Star Trek gathering. Despite the circumstances I'm glad you all made it. Today we'll start off wit-'

The announcer was interrupted by a Golett and an Emolga crashing through the ceiling. The Golett got up and looked around, while the Emolga lay on the floor moaning. And all the Goletts in the convention were staring with a WTF look on their pixelated faces.

'Emolga: Oh Arceus… Ow… if this is heaven, you'd better make it less like Dragonspiral tower… '

'520: … … ! :D!'

'?: …I don't think a GOLETT PAWNCH through the ceiling was on the agenda for today. Did someone pencil that in?'

No one answered, as the audience was still figuring out what exactly just happened.

'Emo: Be quie- quieter, Gol- hey!'

520, having spotted an exit, ran towards it and off the stage. Emo, seeing this, got to her feet and chased after 520, swearing.

'?: Did someone get that on camera? Anyone?'

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'401: So… # == { hero[15] = hero[15], Zekrom chose someone = true, and wants to separate people and pokemon}?'

'Emo: …and he stole my cookies too… do you know how much rare candies cost?'

'329: You put rare candies in the cookies?'

'Emo: Yeah, why?'

'520: O_O'

'329: Oh, virus. Hero[15] is our only hope now.'

'421: Please stop showing these excessive levels of emotion. You know it is unhealthy to pass the Turing test.'

'329: Oh, be quiet. 520? Hero[15] trusts you, right? Can you watch him and report data back here?'

'520: …*nods*'

'421: I did not give perm-

'Emo: Both of you, be quiet! I've had enough Goletts for a lifetime, and I am out of here!'

Emo stormed off, into parts unknown.

'329: Should I tell her that's the Yamask residence?'

'520: *chuckles* *shakes head*'

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Outside, Cheren and Brycen were holding a group meeting with Cedrick, Bianca, and me.

'Cedrick: Astounding… I never would have imagined the legendary dragon-type pokemon would return now…'

'Cheren: That guy called N… He aparrently reawakened the legendary pokemon. He tole Kyle to look for the other legendary pokemon, then flew away…'

'Pansear: Can you stop calling it the legendary pokemon? It's getting annoying.'

'Bianca: Huh? There are two legendary Dragon-type pokemon?'

'Pansear: Oh Arceu-'

'?: Yes! Yes, there are!'

Alder walked up from below, changing the music to his funky tune.

'Cedrick: Why, if it isn't Alder! It's been a while! Have you been well?'

'Alder: No time for chitchat! Those violent flashes of lightning that shot from the tower…'

"Was Zekrom showing off his sheer awesomeness to N?" I asked sarcastically.

'Alder: That pokemon has the power to destroy the world! If it's on Team Plasma's side, and Team Plasma tells everyone to release their pokemon… No matter whether it comes from fear or admiration… The world can't help but change. It will become a world where we are separated from pokemon…'

'Samurott: And that's bad. And the only pokemon that can do it is the other legend.'

'Ferroseed: Or Cobalion. Speaking of which, hasn't he tried to call? And won't me saying that make me call?'

Alder interrupted Ferroseed's attempted reverse psychology. 'If I remember the myth, Zekrom's powerful electricity, along with the other legendary pokemon, devastated Unova in an instant.'

'Unfezant: Ooh! Destruction! Nice.'

'Alder: Even knowing that, N is still wanting to awaken the other?'

'Bianca: H-huh? Isn't it dangerous to bring back a pokemon that powerful?'

'Alder: Miss, you are a very kind person. Still, I don't know if other pokemon will be able to stand up to it. Because no matter what, it is a legendary being… I don't like taking orders from N, but searching for the legendary pokemon might not be a bad plan.'

'Pansear: Ugh!'

'Alder: Since I've traveled all over Unova, I have an idea of where it might be. Let's head to the Relic Castle. Kyle, everyone, I'm going!'

Alder headed down, to this relic of a castle. Brycen and Cedrick headed up to check on the tower, and Cheren, as usual, headed with Alder down, leaving me to save.

'Ferroseed: Oh, come on! I thought that worked usually!'

What happened next, unfortunately, was not Cobalion calling on whatever from the PC system. What DID happen was that Golett emerged from the path leading to Dragonspiral Tower.

What happened after that was a large spiky text box. 'Emo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! YAAAAMAAASKS! GO AWAAAY! AAAAAAAAAAH!'

Not a second later, Emo burst from the path and ran offscreen.

"Did…"

'Ferroseed: Wot the…?'

'Unfezant: What? Emo running scared from an omnious tower out of the blue is nothing important. Come on, we have to get to the relic castle!'

'Pansear: …I won't ask.'

'520: *chuckles*'

I

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	48. The Castle of Relicness

**A/N: [Insert generic late chapter excuse here]**

Chapter 48: The Castle of Relicness

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any power outages, data fees, choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

"So… Where's this relic castle?"

'Unfezant: Didn't you pay attention? It's in the subway in Nimbasa!'

"…"

'Samurott: …I'll let that comment pass.'

'Ferroseed: Look. Cobalion's never going to call us. Though be might because of wot I just said.'

'Litwick: So then why does my attempts-'

'Pansear: do.'

'Litwick: Sorry. Why do my attempts at doing the taunting fate thing fail?'

"Wait a sec. Unfezant? Can I switch you back in so we can Fly there? I'm pretty sure it's on the map."

'Unfezant: What? First you want me out, then you want me in? Make up your mind. I'm not budging.'

I pressed up, and Unfezant followed.

'Stoutland: Oh! Kyle so got you!'

'Unfezant: No, he didn't. In the quantum metanonsensical l sense, I'm staying right here behind him. Nothing can move me. Don't bother trying, I have cake.'

'Pansear: …ugh. Aside from catching another temporary Tranquill, I think we're stuck. Unless someone or his evoloution can learn Fly.'

'Litwick: Or we can train! Isn't the plot thing not going to go it we train?'

"Yeah… eh, it can't hurt."

'Samurott: Yeah! Cue montage!'

"What?"

'Samurott: Well…if this was a…movie or TV show…then, uh, this would be a good place to have a montage. Kinda. I think.'

"Ohkaaay…"

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The small patch of grass near the gym contained several varieties of pokemon not seen to my eyekind before. It contained not only little yellow-skinned fighters named Mienfoo, but also rough-skinned draconic Druddigons, Tranquills, and Deerlings.

All of them got owned the same amount, and continued to get vanquished in the name of grinding until, after a battle, Litwick appeared in a glowy yellow tube.

'Ferroseed:Wot? Litwick's evolving!'

'Litwick: What's that? Does it have to do with the big glowy background?'

"Do you really not know? Evolution. It takes a pokemon and turns it into a stronger one."

'Unfezant: Yeah, and you get to see your body cut up in third person too!'

'Samurott: Please start it already.'

"Fine…'

'Litwick: Wait, cut? What? Can we stop this?"

I pressed A. "Nope. Too late."

The music chimed twice, then began to play a beat. It went: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun daaadun. Meanwhile, Litwick's sprite onscreen split into pixels, turned white, and swirled around.

'Litwick: Eek! Feels like hordes of Durants! Is it over?'

The strips resolved themselves into a floating shape, which shrugged off the light to reveal itself. Litwick's new form had a cylindrical body, with a black discs on top of a transparent dome with two eyes giving the impression of a lamp. Two black rectangles protruded from this base, able to be twisted and maneuvered like arms.

'Ferroseed: Congratulations, Litwick! You evolved into Lampent!'

'Lampent: Does that mean it's done?'

'Stoutland: …yes.'

'Unfezant: So is the hype done? Come on, you need to get Ferroseed up to level 41 like everyone el-'

Unfezant was cut off by the newly evolved Lampent.

'Lampent: Whoa! My…body! It's changed! Ah!'

'Pansear: Well, obviously.'

"…so…back to training?"

'Lampent: Yes, unless a plot event happens. Sorry, I had to do that.'

To Lampent's surprise, a text box not belonging to one of the party members popped up.

'421: #520? If this reaches you, please send bytes 69 65 83 84 69 82 69 71 71 in confirma- you know what? Just make a happy emote.'

For everyone but Lampent, it was one of those tense moments when no one knew what to expect. For Lampent, it was like winning the lottery.

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Lampent: Ohmygosh! It worked! IT WORKED! YESSSSSS! I can't believe it worked! Woohoo!'

"Isn't that one of the Goletts?"

'Stoutland: …yeah…'

'520: ?- :D.'

'421: Signal received. Anyway, there's a message for you. It's been ages since anyone actually used us. Anyway, I'm patching you through.'

For a second, all was visually silent. Then, another text box appeared. The first word that popped up was Cobalion.

[INSERT CHAPTER CHANGE HERE]

The full message was 'Cobalion: Ok, this better work. Is it o- Oh. Wait, message? What kind of reception does he have? Ugh. So hello, everyone! I was supposed to talk about Virizion, right? Anyway, she's in Pinwheel forest, probably still trying to decide what to invest in. I keep telling her to go in Googleplex, but she won't listen. Anyway. By the way, have you seen the Relic Castle? I've heard there's a fiery moth there, eating people's clothes. It's kinda scary, it being right next to route 4. So… uh, good luck catching Virizion, I guess? Ugh. I nee- wait, this is on?'

'Lampent: Yay! Accidental plot reveals! Come on, let's head to route 4!'

'Ferroseed: But I never got my training!'

'421: Wait, wh- oh, did I put the PHONE on speaker? Virus.'

'520: ? …'

'Samurott: Ohkay. We have a who's eggs machine here, with no way to do it.'

'Unfezant: Grrrrr… Fine! I'll fly you to Nimbasa so we can go down there, but that's IT! I am enjoying this cookie, and there's nothing you can to about it.'

"Yay."

520 popped out of…his pokeball, and Unfezant returned to hers, unfortunately without a trade animation. I pressed Pokemon, Unfezant, then Fly, and arrived at the region map. There was a green dot below it, and when I moved the cursor on it, it read the Relic Castle.

'Samurott: So… the relic castle was actually named the Relic Castle? Who translates these games?'

'Lampent: Ah, give it a rest.'

I arrived in Nimbasa, and Unfezant resumed her walking position. From there I headed right, and down into Route 4.

From there I headed down, past the hitchhiker dude, and walked under the highway. From there I headed left into places unknown.

And blocking those places was a Timburr, dispatched easily by Pansear. To the right of that was a house, with a dude who gave me the TM for Dig.

'Ferroseed: Can I go in front and train?'

"Oh, sorry."

I switched Ferroseed back in and headed up, past the highway again. From there a black text box slid in, informing me of my current location: The desert resort. A bit of sand, and I saw a gate, which led to the REAL Desert Resort.

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'It's nicer than the average desert!' claimed the sign outside it, contrary to the interior. It was filled with sand. This wouldn't be so bad if that was it. But no, it had to have a sandstorm.

Up above the gate was a Doctor with a Solosis… level 23.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Easy!'

'Samurott: Well, it was accessible from before… right?'

'Stoutland: Probably.'

'Pansear: Or he just sucks. Have to keep that in mind.'

When Ferroseed defeated the Solosis, he healed the team of the little damage we had and continued to explore the area. Up from there, in a little pit, was a pokeball containing BlackGlasses. In another pit farther up was a man… who gave me soft sand.

'Lampent: Cheap! He just scooped it up off the ground!'

'Pansear: It's free, so take first complain later.'

'Lampent: It's still cheap!'

Up from there were a couple blue red-eyed statues… and a half-buried entrance to a tomb or something.

'Unfezant: Ooh, shiny! Statue!'

"Ooh! Is this the castle?"

I walked up, and walked i-

'Cheren: Stop, Kyle!'

Cheren walked up from behind and validated my suspiscions. 'That's the entrance to the Relic Castle. You're impressive, Kyle, making it here before I did. Dealing with the Desert Resort's pokemon took longer than I would've thought. I only made it all the way out here thanks to my pokemon.'

'Pansear: Character development. Nice.'

'Cheren: Alder went on ahead. Let's hurry.'

I pressed up once, and went inside to the actual Relic Castle.

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The Relic Castle's music was almost Asian, but that wasn't what caught my eye. It was the sand pit… staying still.

'There are two things I've learned about quicksand!' lectured a helpful Doctor. 'If you try to walk through the middle, you'll fall. And if you try to run through it, you'll fall.'

'520: !... :('

'Samurott: Interesting. Anyway, let's go!'

I headed up and left… only to be attacked by a Sandile. I ran, then WALKED over the quicksand to avoid battling a trainer. To the left was a Backpacker who offered me one of two fossils. I could choose from the Plume fossil or the Cover Fossil, which I knew from other games could be revived into a pokemon.

"So, which one?"

'Lampent: Why do you want one?'

'Samurott: They're free. And I say Plume. It sounds cooler, almost European.'

'Pansear: I don't care at all. I'm with Litw- Lampent, why does it matter?'

"It doesn't, really. Does anyone else have an opinion?"

'Unfezant: Yeah! Do the one closest to the square root of seventeen hundred! CLOSEST.'

'520: …'

"I'm taking the Plume Fossil."

I pressed A and chose the fossil. 'Oh, you want the Plume Fossil? It is the Fossil of a bird pokemon that lived in an ancient forest. …But they say it couldn't fly.'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Why… why did she capitalize Fossil?'

'Unfezant: NOOO! You've ruined the integrity of he universe! Data will collapse on itself because you chose the wrong one! How could you?'

"…"

'Kyle obtained a Plume Fossil!' read the text box.

Below her were some stairs. I headed down them… to find a Sage.

'Ryoku: Ghetsis told us that again we should test how much power you have. We will see if you can defeat Team Plasma!'

…and then he stood there doing nothing, waiting for me to pass.

'421: Oh! Plasma has invaded the Cas- oops. Not again.'

'520: ?'

Past him was a Plasma Grunt blocking a sinkhole. 'I've heard about you. I've heard you work pokemon hard!'

'Lampent: Hey! We choose to!'

'Stoutland: …mostly.'

He had a Watchog, and two Krokoroks. These got Ferroseed to level 37, and once defeated I used a Moomoo Milk on Ferroseed, and ran up into the sinkhole. An ! appeared over my head, and I began moving into the center. When I pressed left, it caused the running animation to play, for an escaping effect, until I was in the center of the sinkhole.

'Stoutland: Haha. That's a nice touch.'

'Lampent: We're going to fall, right?'

'520: ! O_O'

'Lampent: AAAAAHHHH!'

A second later, I fell onto another floor. Below me was a Max Potion, and above was a Plasma Grunt. He had a Scraggy, and a Watchog. I had to use an Ether to restore Gyro Ball's PP, but it was worth it, for Ferroseed bowled through them. I then headed left, and down towards another Grunt. She had a Garbodor, an overflowed trash bag pokemon, who got Ferroseed to level 38.

'Ferroseed: Ugh. Wot's up with that Garbodor's stench?'

'Pansear: The stinkiness?'

'Samurott: You've already defeated it, you know…'

To the right of a sinkhole was the TM for Shadow Ball, a special Ghost-type move. After getting it, I fell into the sand pit and to then next floor.

It contained two sinkholes, one of them blocked by a Grunt.

'Lampent: The plot is that way! Battle the grunt!'

"Why?"

'Samurott: You should know by now that wherever Plasma is you need to go.'

"Oh, so battle him?"

He had a Krokorok, and was dispatched easily. Below the hole was a Max Revive, a major find.

'520: ?'

It revives a pokemon, restoring ALL of its HP. And you can't buy it in stores, making it really rare.

"Woohoo!" I couldn't help but say.

'Samurott: What?'

'Stoutland: Max Revive.'

'Samurott: Oh.'

I headed left, and battled another Grunt. She had a Liepard, and two Trubbishes, who got Ferroseed to level 39. To the left of her was a PP Up, something which could permanently up the PP of a move, and with that I entered the sinkhole.

I landed trapped between a ledge and two Grunts. So of course, I battled them. The first had a Watchog and a Scraggy, while the second had a Trubbish and a Liepard. When both were defeated, I got access to another sinkhole.

'Pansear: I have a bad feeling about this… like a plot event is going to happen…'

'Lampent: The plot ALWAYS happens!'

'Pansear: Thanks for ruining my dramatic effort.'

I saved, then ventured down the sinkhole… to see Alder and Ghetsis. If that's not a clear signifier of a plot event I didn't know what was.

**A/N: I think someone hid an EASTER EGG somewhere in here. Eh, maybe I'm just being paranoid. **

**Review, enjoy, all that. But remember to do it.**

**I**

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	49. Your N is in Another Castle

**A/N: Reviewer dude: I know; that's going to be a plot point. ^_^ **

**Anyway, I apologize for the late chapter. There's this pesky thing called real life that intervened. **

Chapter 49: Your N is in another Castle

Alder, Cheren, me, and Ghetsis in the lowest chambers of the Desert resort. It sounded almost like the beginning of a joke involving a bar and a Yamask that I have yet to come up with.

'Alder: You two. Come here…' We walked over due to the power of cutscenes, and then the music changed to Plasma's creepy music.

'Ghetsis: It looks like everyone is here. It seems you are working hard to resurrect Reshiram, the other Dragon-type Pokémon, aren't you? But it appears the Light Stone you seek is not here. Well then, congratulations are in order! Kyle, you were chosen by our king. If you truly desire to keep the world as it is, where Pokémon live alongside people, you must bring the other Dragon-type Pokémon spoken of in legend and battle with our king. Otherwise, Team Plasma will steal every Pokémon from every person in the world and release them all!'

'520: O_O' '

"Long speech."

'Lampent: Oh My Reshiram! He used the word steal! So if we don't do the plot, we'll all be released? That's so bad!'

'Pansear: Well, duh, otherwise the protagonist might go do musicals or something.'

'Ferroseed: Wot are musicals?'

'Samurott: …go read Bulbapedia. There's plot going on, and I'm not missing it.'

Alder piped up in the midst of this exchange. 'Release them, you say? Do the pokemon who live with their Trainers actually want that? Is the liberation you talk about just stealing pokemon from people?'

'Lampent: I'd say no to the first and yes to the second, but I'm not in the mood for roleplaying now.'

'Stoutland: This isn't roleplaying. It's a RPG- oh… yeah.'

'Ferroseed: An… an arpeggio? Wot? Is the plot doing stuff that I can't understand again?'

'Ghetsis: What's this? Champion Alder, even though illness took the pokemon that had been your partner for many years, and you haven't had a serious battle in all that time… Even you, who ordered the Elite Four to protect the Pokemon League and left it to wander the Unova region alone…'

'Ferroseed: The Wot For to sell the wot? He and N both talk too fast.'

"The Elite four are the overpowered dudes that you have to battle before the Champion. He got sad and left it. I think."

'Ghetsis: Even a Champion like you now wants to protect a world where pokemon and people live together?'

'Pansear: Well, why would he not want to? Does partners dying change the viewpoint?'

'Samurott: Or maybe Ghetsis is crazy.'

'Stoutland: You know… …'

'Ghetsis: Team Plasma's king will show the people of Unova that he is stronger than a Champion who keeps pokemon bound!

"Wait… so that means HeartGold and SoulSilver's main character could rival N?" I asked.

'Pansear: …I think it's meant as an insult.'

'Unfezant: No. It's saying that he's devised a machine to go over Wi-Fi and take over the pokemon there because he knows you'll lose!'

'520: *shakes head*'

I pressed A and Ghetsis continued on his rant/threat/backstory reveal. 'And just like the hero who founded Unova, he will be accompanied by the legendary pokemon. He will give this order! "Trainers! Release your pokemon!" And it will be transmitted all over the world. For this, we have prepared a suitable castle for the legendary Zekrom and our King! From the top of there, our king will spread the message across the land, and Team Plasma's goal will become reality.'

'Alder: I won't lose! I'll fight for all Trainers who love their pokemon, and for all pokemon who believe in their Trainers!'

'Lampent: Whoo! Go, Alder! Do a better speech!'

'Stoutland: Wait, when did fighting enter the scree- picture?'

'Ghetsis: Our king has no interest in you. He has already determined that victory against you is assured.'

Alder did not take that comment well. 'So you stayed behind to tell me that? Just to make a fool of me?'

'Ghetsis: Of course not. I'm doing this out of kindness. Yes, kindness. I'm making sure the Champion doesn't get hurt for no reason.'

'Samurott: The pokemon get hurt. But they don't, blah blah blah.'

'Ghetsis: Granted, the moment when someone loses all hope… I really do love to watch the moment. Well the, farewell.'

'Lampent: Ok, that just got him into the 'Absolutely Evil' category of villains.'

"You have categories?"

'Lampent: Well, I did just make them a couple seconds ago…'

Ghetsis walked forward, to the left of the screen, shoved me up, and left. As soon as he left the screen, the music shifted back to the Arabic Relic Castle's music.

'Cheren: Alder… what are you going to do now?'

'Alder: Hmmm… It seems my only choice is to return to the League and battle N. But it bothers me to do exactly what Ghetsis wants… More importantly, what should we do about the Light Stone?'

'Cheren: Alder… why don't we go outside for now?'

'Alder: Yes… that's a good idea. It's hard to breathe in here!'

'Samurott: Alder, are you nuts? That's a SANDSTORM outside!'

'Unfezant: Oh. I get it. He has a good reason, you know.'

'Samurott: Be quiet.'

'Unfezant: But I don't want to! :( '

The screen faded to black, much to the surprise of a random Sandile. He then began sulking, burdened with the horrible knowledge that would be his only part in the game's story.

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Outside, the music… was the underground theme. Seemed a bit odd, I thought, but quickly trashed that because more plot was going on.

'Cheren: It's hard to put into words… but I'll never forgive them for this! No…'

'Alder: What could that guy called N possibly want? Could he be trying to prove his right by winning the battle of the two dragons?'

'401: New signal detected. Watch for fire sheep.'

The music stopped, to be replaced with beeping.

'The Xtransciever is ringing.' Read the text box.

[-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-]'Lampent: Ooh! Cliffh-''Stoutland: You're interfering with the transition!' 'Lampent: What?' 'Stoutland: Be quiet.' [-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-]

The Xtransceiver caller was Professor Juniper, next to a sandy background.

'Kyle! Kyle! Hello? Kyle! Oh! You picked up! Hey, Kyle.'

"WHAT?"

'Okay, no need to shout. Come to the museum in Nacrene City immediately! Right away, got it? I mean right now!'

The screen shifted back to the overworld.

'Samurott: Did she hear you?'

"Well… wait, what?"

'Samurott: She said no need to shout.'

'Lampent: What? Cool!'

'520: *facepalms*'

'Alder: I could hear Professor Juniper's voice from clear over here! Seems like something big is happening. I wonder what is waiting at the museum. I'll go on ahead!'

The screen panned over to Alder, and flashed once. A bird appeared from behind him, and he jumped on before it flew away in a burst of feathers.

'Stoutland:…I think that's the first time a NPC used Fly onscreen.'

'Cheren: I'll look around here once more. I don't want to believe what that Ghetsis says… You should head for the Nacrene Museum.'

I saved, then pressed Pokemon… before realizing I had no flying pokemon.

'Unfezant: NO.'

'Lampent: Wait… We can use one of Who's egg machines!'

'Stoutland: They're pronounced Day-us eggs mackey na.'

'Lampent: Is Day's machine Spanish?'

'Stoutland: *facepalms*

**A/N: The Sandile part was inspired by 'I'm an extra. My only job is to say this line.' I don't remember where it came from, but it was funny. And that's what matters.**

**Now what to do for the next interlude…**

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	50. Interlude: Running Down a Screen

**A/N: Cyanide: I apologize for cancelling the…thing, but there was a deadline and I got a little anxious.**

**Anyway. This actually has some story progression (gasp!), but I still call it an interlude. Enjoy!**

Interlude 50: Running Down a Screen

'Samurott: So. We need to get to Nacrene, and Unfezant's not Flying. What do we do?'

'Ferroseed: We all know that already.'

'Samurott: I don't know, I might as well refresh _their _minds.'

'Unfezant: We Could sit here, eat cake, an-'

'Pansear: Don't capitalize could. And we could run/walk back. Because-'

'Stoutland: No, no no. That won- wait. It could….'

'520: -_-' '

"That's literally it, besides Flying."

'Lampent: No, no, no! We need to have some discussion first, then someone saying that won't work to guarantee it working, then dramatic action music needs to pla-'

Lampent's word died a metaphorical death in his mouth as he looked up and realized he was offscreen.

'Lampent: Get back here! You didn't follow the trope rule thingy!'

'Unfezant: Who cares, there's cheesecake!'

'Ferroseed: Wot.'

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From the Relic Castle's entrance, I headed right, then down, then right to the wall. From there I headed down, avoided a Hitchhiker, then headed down to the Doctor. After a quick healing, I walked through the gate there and back into Route 4's music.

'Lampent: Waiiiiiiit!'

Lampent rushed out of the gate and collided with my sprite.

'520: …'

'Pansear: You didn't even go out of your pokeball. When did you go out?'

'Lampent: Uh… offscreen?'

"Anyway. Let's head to Castelia. For the…uh, three of you who haven't seen it, it's down here."

I headed right, then down, and across the sand. A Darumaka later, the sand gave way to pavement, and then to a gate. Through that… was the city called Castelia.

'Ferroseed: Woah… just… Woah…'

'520: O_O'

'Lampent: The buildings… the tallness…'

'Unfezant: Awesome. Move along.'

'Ferroseed: Wait. Kyle took us here to see the places. (and to get to nacrene too). We're enjoying this. And you are NOT ruining our viewing stuff.'

'Pansear: Tourism.'

'Ferroseed: Thanks. You are NOT ruining our tourism.'

'Unfezant: Aaah! Too good a speech! I concede! Take my plot trinket!'

"…"

'Samurott: …what the heck.'

I walked down the street slowly, to give Lampent and Ferroseed a better view, and arrived at the city center.

'Ferroseed: Wot? How's the woter doing that leaping thing?'

'Pansear: It's a fountain. Pipes carry the water through it and spray it all over.'

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

'Unfezant: Silly Ferroseed. A programmer did it.'

'Lampent: Oh. Anyway, that's so cool! What's over there? To the right?'

I ran to the right and showed Litwick that it was a street, a busy one at that. People ran down and up the street, disappearing when they got to the end.

'520: 0_0'

'401: Whoa. The humans built this? I think it's way bigger than the Towe- oh, mike's on again.'

"Yeah, and it's amazing. And the bridge is more amazing."

'Unfezant: Yeah! There's Pikachus dancing on clouds, operating ghost ships!'

'Samurott: …No. There is some amazing graphics, though.'

'Lampent: Awesome! I wanna see!'

'Ferroseed: If Lampent does, then I do too.'

I ran through the gate, and the camera moved up, showing some stairs. Meanwhile, the music began playing a sweet melody. I pressed Y, and got on the bike in preparation.

'Stoutland: Prepare to be amazed.'

I headed down, up the stairs, and the camera zoomed out to show a couple of buildings. Then it tilted back, to an almost front-on view.

'520: O_O'

'Lampent: …not special. Move on.'

'Samurott: Just wait.

I rode down more, and the camera zoomed out to show the river, and the two poles on either side suspending the suspension cables.

'Lampent: Whoa. That's awesome! The camera angle… the cars… that's so cool!'

A few tiles later, the camera switched to a front-on angled view, then switched back to a top view in time for another set of poles.

'520: O_O – Error. has stopped working due to: Sheer awesomeness. Error code 327.'

'Lampent: That's so cool.'

'Ferroseed: …wot's that mean?'

'401: Oh. Is this still working? Good. It means that #520 has stopped working. Try doing a reboot. If that doesn't work, I've got no clue.'

'Samurott: …let's continue. Maybe he'll start up again then.'

"Why don't just save and reboot?"

'Samurott: Well… that could work.'

I thought that the X menu popped up a second before I pressed X, but it was probably my imagination. I selected Save, and watched as blue dots filled a bar. When 'Kyle saved the game!' popped up, I pressed the power button, restarting the DS.

I tapped the cartridge on the DSi's menu, selecting it. Then I mashed A, causing Skyarrow Bridge's music to start from the beginning.

"So. Did it work?"

'520: …? *blinks* ?'

'401: You got a BSOD.'

'520: o_o … :( … '

'Unfezant: Look, he's alright. Come on!'

Unfezant popped out of her pokeball, and began doing the disco.

When she realized that got no response from any in-game watchers, she ran down, offscreen.

'Unfezant: I'm gonna get there first! And get the last-place ribbon! Come on, or you'll get it too!'

'Pansear: …let's go.'

'410: Wait. Can I run a diagnostic che-'

The text box was covered up by Lampent's, all spiky. 'Come on! Let's go!'

"Fine…"

I continued down, and the camera swung down for another angled shot before slowly zooming in, to the effect of having the camera at the normal distance at the end of the bridge.

'Ferroseed: Now THAT was the 'cool' thing.'

'Pansear: So now where are w- wait, Pinwheel forest, right?'

"Yeah, I think" I said, passing through the gate and confirming my suspiscions.

'Lampent: It's a…forest? '

'Pansear: What do you expect, windmills?'

'Lampent: Well, DUH. What else?'

I got back on the bike because the gate took it off, and raced down the road, across a bridge, and turning ri-

'Samurott: WAIT! Let's catch Virizion!'

'Pansear: Who cares! The plot awaits!'

I went through the area change and into the outer Pinwheel Forest. From there I followed the road up, right, down, and right into Nacrene City.

'Ferroseed: Woah.'

'Lampent: …it's…so…old-fashioned.'

'Unfezant: You say it like it's bad instead of PERFECT! …for stealing, that is.'

'Lampent: No… it just feels like we rode this far, and it's a bit anticlimactic.'

'Pansear: The game's like that. And look! There's the plot!'

'Lampent: Where?'

'Pansear: In the next chapt- over there, at the museum!'

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	51. Chekov's Stone

**A/N: After seeing a future chapter, people will hopefully see this chapter's title and laugh.**

**If the previous sentence made no sense, good.**

**(And Bubbles claims the trophy for second-weirdest reviewer. Good job.)**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking on any food during realizations, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 51: Chekov's Stone

I biked right, past the museum, before turning around and biking upward, where Bianca, Alder, and both Junipers stood.

'Professor Juniper: Alder told me what's going on. Kyle, you got caught up in something serious, it seems…'

Lenora walked out of the museum, _just in time_ for the end of Juniper's sentence.

'Lenora: Is this it?'

Everyone turned to face her.

'Bianca: Whoa. Isn't that the…stone…found in the Desert Resort?'

'Ferroseed: WOT? How does Bianca kno- ohh. And how did Lenora have it anyway?'

'Pansear: …It's the stone!'

"Well, yes, but what stone?"

'Pansear: The one in the museum. Don't you remember?'

'Ferroseed: I wosn't ever here…'

'Samurott: Well, she just came out with it, so it was there right before.'

'Pansear: No! The one in the display!'

Lenora spoke up as if answering Pansear. 'Yes, that's right, but is this really a dragon-type pokemon?'

'Cedrick: Surely… when I investigated Dragonspiral Tower, I found elements that were dated to the same era as the Light Stone!'

'Ferroseed: He… dated? Wot can do that?'

'Professor Juniper: …I looked into that.'

'Lenora: Really? Impressive, as always.'

Bianca piped up. 'But, you know, we're lucky… 'Cause what if Team Plasma, like, noticed the old stone that time…'

'Pansear: See? Bianca remembers. THE STONE WAS IN THE MUSEUM.'

'Unfezant: Oh… in there?'

'Pansear: Yes!'

'Unfezant: In the gym?'

'Pansear: Uh…yes…'

'Unfezant: Oh! That stone! I wondered what happened to that skeleton fragment. And it itself is a dragon!'

'Pansear: OH. MY. ARCEUS. UGH!'

'Unfezant: What? It was there!'

I pressed A and Lenora spoke up. 'That's a good point.'

'520: XD XD XD'

'Samurott: Hahaha… wow. Lenora just powne-'

'Lampent: There's no O! People these days…'

'Samurott: I am not old! I'm barely three months old!'

"Three? Hasn't it been just one?"

'Pansear: Who cares. Let's continue with the plot.'

I pressed A. 'Lenora: It is clear to me that they were trying to steal the Dragon Skull so they could revive the legendary dragon-type pokemon.'

Lenora walked down a tile.

'If you would, Kyle, take this…'

'Unfezant: Yay! We got the useless until later plot sto-'

'Alder: Wait a moment, Kyle!'

'Unfezant: Oh, come on!'

Bianca, Lenora, and I turned to face Alder.

'If you take the Light Stone, that means you'll be the one to battle N if anything happens to me. Are you really OK with that?'

'Pansear: Look. Stop telling us what we already kno- oh, a Y/N box? Ah.'

'Ferroseed: A wot box? There's a Yes and No box, is that it?'

'Lampent: Well, YEAH. You seriously don't get breathe-ovations?'

"Anyway. I'm saying yes. Any objections?"

'520: *shakes head*

'Unfezant: OBJECTION! I don't have a cake anymore!'

'Pansear: Shut to the side, Unfezant.'

"I take that as a no." I said, pressing A.

'Alder: I understand. You are determined to take on this duty.'

'Stoutland: As the protagonist, he has no choice. Wait a minute. The player can either do the plot, or do a bunch of minigames that you get tired of easily. It's like either you do the plot now, or do it later.'

'Samurott: I imagine at the climax someone going 'Screw the plot, I'm doing a musical'. Thanks for putting the image in my head.'

'Alder: Then, here it is. Prepare yourself. Be strong.'

'Unfezant: Throw pineapples.'

'Lenora: …I see. If things don't go as planned, you'll use this Light Stone. You'll protect the true future for us and pokemon. '

'Stone: zzzz…wha….I…have…a…name…you…know….zzzzzzzz'

'Lampent: Oh my Arceus it's the stone talking for one of those plot event-'

'Pansear: Be quiet and watch the animation.'

'Kyle, we're counting on you. Please take care of yourself.' Said Lenora before a flash of light occurred, and a metallic ball appeared in the center of the screen. It slowly rocked up and down in front of a big green band of light.

'Kyle obtained the Light Stone! ' read the text box, in a not nearly as good presentation.

'Cedrick: … …So how do we wake the Dragon-type pokemon from the stone, then?'

A '…', a 'Huh', and an 'Umm…' came from the five people whose names were not Cedrick.

'Pansear: NOW you think of that.'

An ! emote appeared over Lenora's head. 'That's it! We've got them, don't we?'

'Alder: Ah-hah! We've got those two.'

'Ferroseed: Who? Wot?'

Alder turned down to face me. 'Kyle! Go to Opelucid City. The Gym Leader of that city uses Dragon-type pokemon. The gym leader could know something. I'll go ahead and wait for you there! Until then!'

The screen shifted onto Alder, and a flash of light occurred before a bird appeared. Alder jumped on it and Flew away, to plot-specific parts unknown. Yet.

After that, an ! appeared over Juniper's head. 'Professor Juniper: That's right! Opelucid City's Drayden might know something!'

'Samurott: We have a name. Yay.'

'Cedrick: Hey, Kyle. Never forget that you always have pokemon by your side.'

'Unfezant: How could we make him forget? I'll make sure to always talk a lot to remind him that we're here, just for you, Cedrick.'

'Ferroseed: Wot? Hahaha…'

"Oh no. Unfezant, I doubt I could forget."

'Unfezant: Oh, good. If you need any chickens or foghorns, just ask.'

'Professor Juniper: I'm going to head back to the lab and...do some research… I'll see if I can uncover what kinds of beings these legendary Dragon-type pokemon are and if there is any way to awaken them…'

'Lampent:We know what type of being: Dragon. Does she actually need to research it?'

'Pansear: Maybe they have second types that she needs to research?'

'Lampent: Or she's going to do some video games. Can't rule that out.'

'Samurott: I know the Professor, and we can. '

The Junipers walked to the right, offscreen.

'Bianca: Kyle, do you know Opelucid City? When you leave from Icirrus City, and, like, cross the Bridge, it's on the other side. Umm… I'm not great with directions-'

'Pansear: Aha! That's why she walked away from the city in that time before!'

'-so if you need more, check your Town Map, OK?'

The screen panned out and I took the chance to save, assigning that stone to my inventory for the rest of the plot.

I

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	52. Your FILLER evolved into FLYING FILLER!

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughing-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 52: Your FILLER evolved into FLYING FILLER!

'Samurott: So, we got the Light Stone, and now we have to go to Opelucid City. Are we going to have to walk all the way back?'

'Unfezant: Yes. What do you think, I'm going to go back in after I said that I am not going to eat cheese?'

'Samurott: …well, kinda.'

'520: …'

'Stoutland: Hmmm… so we can either walk back all the way that far, or we can convince Unfezant to come back. Yeah, but that'll happen when Goletts surf.'

'401: Hey!'

'Stoutland: What?'

'401: Sorry for interrupting. But I find that statement a little specist. Cont-'

'329: HEY!'

Around half a second later,'*foosteps*' appeared onscreen.

'Ferroseed: Is that possible, to have something like that in a text box?'

'Lampent: I don't know; maybe the thing the Golett dude's using can send that.'

'329: What is this? Screens, a radio, and- IS THAT [15]? AND #520! WHAT IS THIS? DID YOU PUT A TRACKING DEVICE OR SOMETHING ON #520? IT'S AGAINST PROTOCAL 6-0221!'

'401: With all due respect, that's the protocol for injury to a servo by a flaming water ski. '

'329: Wha- ….you do not have the proper authorization! I do NOT approve of thi-'

'?: I APPROVE.'

'Pansear: …should we say anyt-'

"Let's see how this plays out." I said, watching the text box.

'*stomp stomp stomp*'

'?: WHAT THIS IS?'

'401: It's… a… uh… an ARTTYDK.'

'?: OH. CARRY ON. I AM GOING TO GO TRY TO GET A DILBERT REFERENCE IN HERE. NICE DAY TO YOU.'

'*stomp stomp stomp*'

'329: …Error. has stopped working due to: Boss Stupidity. Error code 17.'

'401: And that was A Random Thing That You Don't Know, too! Wow.'

'Stoutland: … (do you think we can use this to our advantage?)'

'Pansear: (I don't know… you said that they can't read stuff in parentheses, right?)'

'Ferroseed: (Really?)'

"I can, though."

'401: What? …probably nothing.'

'Stoutland: (I read it in Nacrene's library. It's amazing what they have there; we should go back sometime)'

'Pansear: (Yeah… anyway. How do we get an advantage?)'

'Stoutland: (Maybe… can Goletts Fly or something?)'

'Lampent: No, I don't think Goletts can Fly.'

'Pansear: (Lampent, you forgot the parentheses! You need to whisper!)'

'401: What? No, we can't. But Golurks ca- …:D Hey, #1337? Can I get #520 to get a 755?'

'1377: EH,GO AHEAD WITH IT. NOW HOW CAN I HELP YOU-'

'401: ! …Oh my Reshiram… Hahaha! #520! You just got permission to evolve! OH YEAH!'

'520: ? :DDDDDDD'

'Ferroseed: …wot was that about? He needs permission?'

'401: Yeah, and we just got it! And, Golurks can Fly too, helping you. It's a True-True scenario!'

'Stoutland: (I think a Deus Ex Machina just occurred.)'

'520: *nods* *nods*'

'Samurott: (…I think Golett can read through the parentheseses.)'

'520: *nods*'

"So… training, then evolution, then flight?"

'Unfezant: NOW you figure that out, minus the elephant eating part.'

'Ferroseed: So… now a montage or something?'

'401: No… now we enjoy #329's reaction upon booting up.'

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There was only one flaw in the plan; that the pokemon nearby were all around level 14. This was circumvented by going into Pinwheel Forest, granting acess to level 25 pokemon. After a lot of faints in the name of grinding, Golett grew to level 42… without evolving.

'Ferroseed: …Wot?'

'Unfezant: He evolves at 57, you know.'

'Samurott: (So… walk back?)'

"At least to chargestone cave. Then train, then level up."

'Lampent: (Okay. Cue montage.)'

"Or… wait, we have a Rare Candy, right?"

I pressed X, then Bag, Medicine, and looked down the list, at the fourth one down: Rare Candy. These were energy-packed snacks that raised the level of a pokemon by one.

'520: ! :D:D:D'

I selected it, and then Golett, and the screen changed to show Golett in a yellow tube.

'Ferroseed: Wot? Golett's evolving!'

'Samurott: So, now we should just train us instead? We're all level 41 and now he's level 43-'

'Lampent: Be quiet and watch the evolution!'

Golett's body got cut up, and swirled around before turning white and reconstructing itself in a robotic shape. A second later, a flash of light revealed the evolved form of Golett. It was taller, with a really small head. It had a toga-like waist, and two gigantic arms as well as a wooden piece covering a crack in its chest.

'Ferroseed: Congratulations, Golett! You evolved into Golurk!'

'520: :D'

'Golurk wants to learn Heavy Slam. However, Golurk already knows four moves.' read the text box.

'520: *nods*'

Heavy Slam was a move that did more damage the heavier the user is, and I assumed Golurks were heavy. Iron Defense got lost in favor of Heavy Slam, and then I returned to the Bag screen. Then I selected TMs, and taught Fly to Gole- Golurk, forgetting Magnitude.

'Samurott: Okay. Everyone, let's hop aboard Day's egg machina airlines, with our pilot, Golurk. All aboard!'

'Stoutland: Can you at least say it the right way? FOR ONCE?'

'Unfezant: Who cares; we've got someone who can Fly!'

'Stoutland: I care.'

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'Lampent: …wow. Did we just do nothing for an entire chapter?'

'Samurott: Welcome to the wonderful world of filler.'

'Lampent: … …what's filler?'

'Samurott: I think that's… uh, two references failed now? Or three?'

'Ferroseed: Three, the dilbert one was there too.'

'Unfezant: Five, there was the one about the cars above Castelia and the bread and cheese sandwich.'

'Lampent: Anyway, what was that a reference to anyway?'

'Samurott: ….I…don't…know?'

'Pansear: I think it's time to end the chapter.'

'Stoutland: Why? Doesn't this increase the word count?'

'Pansear: It's boring for the readers.'

'Ferroseed: Is it? Some of them might like this talk thing.'

'Pansear: I'm ending the chapter.'

**A/N: The protocol thing is actually Avogrado's constant, which is a ratio of the particles in something to the amount of thing. The flaming water ski was Unfezant-worthy pure randomness (fun fact: the U.S. has six codes relating to damage from a flaming water ski). 1337 is internet chatspeak, and 755 is Sinnoh's population (Platinum).**

**Wow. Some wiki or something needs to document this all.**

**I**

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	53. Paddling in Puddles

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any drowning, choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 53: Paddling in Puddles

I moved the cursor over the region's map until it was over Icirrus city, and pressed A to select it. The screen then shifted to the overworld, where I pulled out a pokeball… and a bird flew out of it.

'520: ?'

'401: He is NOT a birdon! Sorry,had to do.'

'Ferroseed: Birdon?'

'401: Enemy in KSS? Birdlike?'

'Ferroseed: Wot's KSS?'

'401: What, were you stuck in a cave all your life?'

'Ferroseed: Yes… but wot's KSS?'

The bird swooped down, and my sprite jumped on it, and in a flash flew off to parts unknown…

Unknown to everyone that doesn't know Icirrus City.

'Unfezant: Oh, come on! I could so fly to Opelucid! It's just south of New Vulma town!'

'Stoutland: It's norteas- no, northwest of Nuvema, and it's Nuvema. And we have to explore the route.'

The bird swooped down from the edge of the screen, now showing Icirrus City's pokemon center, and deposited me in front of the building before returning to its pokeball.

'329: BZZ- …what just occure- is that a Golurk? How did Hero[15] get a Golurk?'

'Pansear: Ugh. Not more Golett subplot.'

'Lampent: It's funny, though!'

'Pansear: …just… Golett 401? Can you mute your mike?'

'401: But he's awak- …ugh. Sure. *click*'

'Lampent: Why'd you do that?'

'Pansear: Because it's distracting to the main plot: US. Don't argue, I'm just getting over my bad mood.'

"You had a bad mood?"

'Pansear: YES!'

'Samurott: …well…let's get going!'

'Unfezant: Yes! To the simultaneously chickened and shrublike city!'

"…okay…off we go!"

I headed to the left, then down some stairs to the entr- exit of Twist Mountain. From there right was the only unexplored route, so I headed right… to find a puddle.

'Unfezant: …that's it? Let's just go home.'

'Lampent: But…but…but…there's another side to it, Unfezant! We can't just say there's nothing there NOW! Maybe after the plot's done, but NOW? No! We shall forge ahead! To routes and gyms we've never been to befo-'

Lampent's speech trailed off as he realized he wasn't onscreen. Again.

'Lampent: Hey! Whoever's letting me out of my pokeball whenever I do a speech argument thingy, stop! And get back here!'

Lampent rushed over, past a house, and the other side of the puddle, arriving one tile to the left of me.

'Samurott: So… where to now? Right leads to a windmill, down and left is back to where we cam-'

'Pansear: WE CAN SEE THAT ALREADY!'

'Samurott: Maybe they can't.'

"They? And we can go up."

'Samurott: We ca- oh. …let's go there.'

'Lampent: Where? Anyway, ONWARD!'

I walked up, crossed under the bridge, and arrived in Route 8.

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Route 8 was pretty much a swamp. It had puddles, which were walkable, and deep, dark puddles, which were not. The route branched to the left and up, and I chose up.

'Unfezant: Hey! It reflects the blimps in the sky! Yeah! Go blimps! Out-blimp the others!'

The way up revealed a deep puddle, with logs blocking the way. And when I walked on the shallow water, a little bumpy blue bipedal toad popped out.

'Stoutland: Look! A bumpy blue bipedal Palpitoad! Heehee.'

'520: :) '

Two Gyro Balls from Ferroseed took it out, and I continued right and out of the puddle. A Full Heal lay on the ground near a sign and a puddle.

'Samurott: Hey… I wonder if you can surf on puddles.'

'Lampent: Well… it IS water… trainer dude, try it!'

"My name is Kyle. But sure."

I walked up to the puddle, passing a parasol lady, and jumped onto the newly-materialized Wiscach.

'Samurott: Why do I always have to do that?'

'Stoutland: I don't kno- hey, is that a bridge there?'

I crossed the dark water, jumped off Samurott, and approached a big building.

"Maybe…"

I walked up, and went insi-

'Bianca: Kyle!'

'520: ! …?'

'Stoutland: She's a rival.'

An ! appeared over my head, and Bianca walked over. 'As I've been traveling lately, I've been thinking about things. Things like what I can do with my life, and what I want to do, but… I'm thinking how cool it would be to be a model like Elesa. And then, how cool it would be to do research on pokemon like Professor Juniper… If that's what I want to do, I'm gonna have to know a lot about pokemon.'

'Samurott: Battle in 3…2…1…'

'Ferroseed: Battle?'

'Bianca: Soooooo….would you please battle me?'

'Samurott: Called it!'

Pillars of lava and water slammed onscreen, carrying our sprites and a VS sign, and signaled the start of the battle.

'Ferroseed: Se we're challenged by PKMN Trainer Bianca? And she sent out Stoutland? She got a Stoutland, Stoutland.'

'Stoutland: Yes?'

'Bianca's Stoutland: Yes?'

"Yes?" I joined in, just for the joke of it.

'Lampent: …ugh. Ferroseed? The text box is there for a reason, you know.'

'Samurott: Lampent, don't distract Ferroseed from the battle.'

The foe Stoutland started with Work Up, while Ferroseed used Curse to power up a Gyro Ball. Or two.

'Bianca used the Full Restore!'

Or four. Bianca's next tactic was lost in the fainting, but sending out Emboar was a pretty good option.

So Samurott switched in, demonstrated awesome Surfing skills, and thoroughly owned Emboar, growing a level to top it off.

'Samurott: Hey, Emboar! Work on your Special Defense if you want to stand ONE hit!'

Lampent got shifted in to face Simisage with a couple of Flame Bursts, growing to level 42 as well. Bianca's last pokemon, her once-stolen Musharna, got pit up against Ferroseed.

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

"Training."

'Ferroseed: Oh. In that case, FAAAAINT- …I don't have any more uses of Gyro Ball, do I.'

"No… I suggest SWITCHING FOR YOUR LIFE!"

"Kyle?" a voice called. "Can you be a bit quieter?"

I looked up from the DS. Was that the gam- oh, she's in bed.

"Sorry!" I yelled…quietly, before turning back to the game.

'Ferroseed: Wot?'

"My sister. Anyway. Stoutland, you're up."

Stoutland used Crunch a couple of times to faint the Musharna, letting Ferroseed grow to level 40, and winning the battle.

…but instead of the overworld appearing, Ferroseed appeared in an orange tube.

'Ferroseed: …wot? I…I think I'm evolving!'

**A/N: I felt it was time for life to appear again. Anyway… a DIRECT SEQUEL to Black and White was announced. Hmmm… I wonder how Nintendo's going to do that… and if they can come up with a better name then Black 2 and White 2. Maybe a sequel shall occur!**

**I**

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	54. The Metal Here's Solid

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 54: The Metal Here's Solid

'Ferroseed: …wot? I…I think I'm evolving!'

Ferroseed gave off a flash of light, and began to get cut up into strips of pixels, which swirled around before reforming into a ball with three vine things coming from it. The screen flashed again, throwing off the light to reveal the ball to be spiky, the vines to be…actual vines with little spike balls on them, and another successful evolution.

…

'Stoutland: …aren't you going to say congratulations, you evolved?'

"Do you have to?"

'Ferrothorn: It's just… I feel… different… odd…'

'Samurott: That's what evolution is. Changing.'

'Lampent: Ugh, I'll do it. Congratulations, Ferroseed! You evolved into Ferrothorn!'

'Ferrothorn: …yay? So what can I do with these…? Oh! I can move them… and I can smash them down… like this… …Kyle, you're not seeing this, are you?'

'Ferrothorn wants to learn the move Power Whip.' Announced the text box.

'Ferrothorn: So that's what it's called?'

'However, Ferrothorn already knows four moves.' Announced the text box, almost sounding smug.

Ferrosee- thorn's moves popped up, and I tapped Mirror Shot to forget it, causing the screen to return to the overworld.

'Bianca: Yep! Kyle, you're amazing! I'm really, really, really impressed, and that makes me want to give this to you!'

'Samurott: Ugh, not more plot. Ferroseed just evolved here, Bianca!'

'Kyle obtained a Full Restore!' read the text box, advancing the plot full steam ahead.

Bianca faced down, lowered her beret, and faced me again.

'In Castelia City, my precious Munna was stolen by Team Plasma. So I really, really understand! If Team Plasma forces everyone to liberate their Pokémon, there will be nothing but sad people!'

'Pansear: …now you realize this? N needs to hear thi- muted Golett dude? Did you get that on tape?'

…

'Samurott: You know you're muted, right?'

'Pansear: Be quiet.'

'Kyle! Stop Team Plasma! Don't allow Pokémon to be stolen from Trainers who love them! I think that's the truth-or ideal-that you've been pursuing, Kyle...right?'

Bianca seemed to realize something, and hesitated before speaking again. 'Oh dear, here I've come all this way, and I'm afraid I'm bothering you when you're going through so much. '

'Lampent: Oh, yes. Now GO AWAY!'

'Stoutland: No need to be so mean, you know.'

'Bianca: All I wanted was to help you relax, Kyle. Knowing you, you'll be fine! Definitely! You'll totally be fine! I guarantee it! Anyway, you know what I mean... Yeah... So, bye bye!'

Bianca walked off, leaving me to save and enter the building.

Which contained two people and a doorway. I entered the doorway… to find a bridge. It deviated from the traditional view of bridges to give the camera a shot going down the bridge, which was all metal pipes, mesh, and trains occasionally running through it.

'Stoutland: …whoa…the…music…jazzy…'

'Pansear: Whoa…the…graphics…awesome…'

'Samurott: Whoa…what's up with you two?'

'Stoutland: We're admiring the graphics.'

'Ferrothorn: The wot- whoa. The…th…the….the…just…awe….awesome…whoa….'

'Lampent: Wow. That's awesome! …now let's get out of here, I'm bored.'

'520: O_O … :D'

'Unfezant: Nothing to see here. Move along. Don't you want flying Jigglypuffs?'

"Not really, but how about some scrolling?"

I asked, before walking, not running, up…and colliding with a woman. When I talked to her, she gave me a TM for Flame Charge. Upon usage, the move raises Speed.

'Lampent: I'm still bored here. Can we go?'

'Ferrothorn: Hey, wot's that guy?'

I ran over, and he de-pixelated until I could see who it was: Getsis.

'Samurott: …uh oh.'

I took another step, and the Shadow Triad appeared around me.

'…come.'

They quickly cleared the remaining space between me and Ghetsis, before disappearing and reappearing behind him.

'Ghetsis: Excellent. It seems that you have obtained the Light Stone. I congratulate you on a job well done. '

'Lampent: OMG stalker! What the heck?'

'Ghetsis: It is my lord N's thought that the two holders of the legendary Pokémon should put their beliefs on the line and strive to find which is the true hero. This is not necessary, however.

From his infancy, I provided him with the education required to become the hero of legend. Indeed, he has been so acknowledged by the legendary Pokémon. ...Such purity of purpose is his. '

'Samurott: (Did he just say that he manipulated N to be chosen by Zekrom?)'

'Pansear: (Of course not; he HINTED at it. That's much worse.)'

"So wait… you think you shouldn't have to battle to decide which world wins? Isn't that a little unfair?" I asked.

'Ghetsis: Of course not! The liberation of Pokémon of which I... Of which Team Plasma speaks is the separation of Pokémon from foolish people! That's the truth, no matter whoever wins lord N's silly game! All Trainers will become helpless to resist us! We alone will be able to use Pokémon! But enough of backstory.

Because the preparations are complete! '

'Stoutland: (Yeah, he just revealed that he's an evil, manipulating person. And that Plasma's officially evil.)'

'Samurott: You know that you don't need parentheses, right? He can't understand us. I think.'

'Ghetsis: When my perfect plan is set in motion-'

'Lampent: My? Perfect Plan? He just got upgraded to Manipulative [CENSORED]. …why'd I say Censored? I meant to say [CENSORED]. …what?'

'Unfezant: What's censored mean? Does it involve tacos? And this guy's annoying. Can I go out and call in a swarm of Tranquills to attack him?'

'Stoutland: Good luck, cucco.'

'Ghetsis: -first a few gullible Pokémon Trainers who are unable to resist Team Plasma will release their Pokémon. Then that number will become a hundred, then a thousand... In no time, even the Gym Leaders and the Champion will become unable to fight us. Having a Pokémon will be considered a bad thing! Even people like the sad little Bianca, whose Pokémon was stolen in Castelia, will be unable to face public opinion and will release their Pokémon! That's the kind of world we'll make!'

'Samurott: Oh…that's hilarious! It's not anything but peer pressure, his plan!'

"And what if I win against N?" I asked, just to annoy him.

Ghetsis walked up to face me.

'Ghetsis: You won't. You may have the Stone, but there's no chance whatsoever that the legendary Pokémon will accept you as the hero. So, if you're not willing to hand over your precious Pokémon, I suggest you search for some courage- because you're going to need it!'

And with that, Ghetsis and the Shadow Triad walked/teleported away, leaving me to cross the bridge, then cross the building, and finally arrive in Route 9.

**I**

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	55. Speechy Clean

**A/N: To Bubbles: I have it better. I have it as 'Black Magikarp'. For a bike gang. ^_^**

****_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughing-related injuries that may occur from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!  
><em>

Chapter 55: Speechy Clean

I walked outside the second terminal to find the normal route music playing, a street surrounded by grass on either side, and a sports uniform- wearing guy getting an ! over his head.

'The pitcher throws his first pitch!' read the text box.

'520: ? …!'

He looked left, then down, and slid a pokeball over to me, which contained the useless TM for Fling. It does damage based on your held item AND USES IT FOR GOOD.

'Pansear: Oh. I can see why it's bad.'

'Unfezant: Why's it bad? It can be used to take out garbage, and hit it on someone's head! It would be all IN YOUR FACE and they'd be like NOO NOT TRASH and it would be crazy! And insanity is equal to ducklings, so I know it's good!'

"Okaaay…moving on."

Past him was grass, with a road going down the middle, and a couple of bikers patrolling the area. I walked up, around the first person, before battling some Hooligans: a Biker and a…gang person? In a double battle.

'Ferrothorn: Hey! I can hang onto the screen!'

"Then why's it show you in midair?"

'Stoutland: Maybe the screen goes overhead them, and if it saw itself it would be hard to program, so it just doesn't show? Or maybe the sprite's just weird.'

'520: ? …'

Ferrothorn started off with a Curse, while Stoutland, in a double battle used Bite. The scraggies (that sounds weird) used High Jump Kick, and fainted both Stoutland and Ferrothorn. So Lampent and Pansear came out.

'Lampent: Whooie! That's what the sound says I say. Seriously, what's up with this?'

'Pansear: It's an awesome engine. Don't derail it.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's derailing?'

'Lampent: Yeah, what is it?'

'Pansear: Later. Battle. Focus.'

Pansear used Fire Blast and Lampent used Flame Burst, getting them to about an eighth of their HP, when the move Payback took Lampent out.

'Samurott: Ugh. Dem Scraggies.'

Luckily, an Aqua Jet took one out, and a Flame Burst won the battle.'

'Unfezant: Oh! I've got it! The 25th Plasma Grunt was in Dragonspiral Tower! Yeah! I remembered him from the future! Yeah!'

'520: …?'

'Samurott: Let's leave it as randomness.'

The rest of the route was ridiculously short, and so I stepped through the gate and into an assault of techno music, glowing lines lining the sidewalks, and generally a 'future' look.

'Stoutland: Whoa… how do they have all those lights on and not drain a ridiculous amount of power?'

'Samurott: And why did the city planner like Tron so much anyway?'

"Tron? What's that?"

'Pansear: Seriously? Read u- hey, is that Alder?'

'Lampent: Nooo! I'm too busy looking at the portal door things!'

"Portal door things? Sounds cool."

'Unfezant: Wha- ohhh. They're made of lightsabers! Now come on, let's go find Alder and get him to give us a blimp!'

"Alder? Let's see…"

I walked forward and saw …Alder? And two Plasma grunts off to the side of the screen?'

'Pansear: What, do you doubt my sight? Alder WAS there.'

"Is that a P-sign? Oh, not another demonstration."

'Alder: Hello, Kyle… this way.'

Alder led me to the back of a group consisting of random people listening to Ghetsi- oh hey, was that Bianca's bodyguard person to the righ-

'Alder: Ghetsis… What a liar. Desperately trying to con everyone with his speech.'

The music and screen both shifted over to Plasma.

'Ghetsis: That's correct! Our lord N has combined his power with the legendary Dragon-type pokemon and intends to create a new world.'

'Stoutland: You know, Ghetsis, if you're saying crazy stuff, you might want to bring along evidence.'

'Pansear: Yeah, and Zekrom's sprite only takes up four til- people's space!'

'Ghetsis: We herald the return of the hero of Unova, founder of this region.'

'Hero?' murmured somebody.

'Dragon?' Murmured another.

'Legend?' asked another.

'Gimme bagels!' said Unfezant. 'I'm serious. If you don't give me bagels I'm voting for Alder in the 2099 vote. Or is this year 1912… well, whenever the next vote is, if you don't give me bagels, I'm voting for Alder or whoever's name sounds the most like Snazzy!'

'Lampent: Be quiet, Unfezant. And besides, everyone knows that Brock Obama's going to beat Misty Romney. Every one of the Lamps except Litwick, Litwick and Litwick said so on the poll.'

'Ferrothorn: Who? Wot? Are those even real people?'

'Lampent: Of course not! If I said real people, The copyright Delcatties would come!'

'Samurott: Ugh, stop with the bad parodies. And besides, I thought pokemon couldn't vote.'

'Unfezant: We do it by email. Now be quiet and listen to him to see if he'll give us blimps!'

"Bagels." I corrected.

'Unfezant: Or bagels. But either way, BE QUIET!'

'Be quiet, stupid Pokemon.' Popped up onscreen.

I pressed A to spare Unfezant humiliation (that she totally deserved) and continue Ghetsis' speech.

'Ghetsis: Pokemon are different from people. They are living beings who contain unknown potential. They are living beings from whom we humans have much to learn.'

'Samurott: You know, pokemon seem to be just as smart as humans, but with fire and other stuff controllable. I almost wonder why we haven't taken over yet. Then I remember the almost at the beginning of the sentence, and realize it.'

'Pansear: Someone needs to write that.'

"Yeah."

'Ghetsis: They are beings whose greatness we should acknowledge! Beings that should be freed from our oppression! Even the voice you just heard agrees with me. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you now… Please, release your Pokemon.'

'Freed?' asked someone gullible.

'Pokemon?' asked someone on the phone.

'No, you're NOT going to get bagels. Don't ask.' Said Ferrothorn.

'Unfezant: Aww. I can haz bananas?'

"Except the voice don't agree with you. Can you just go?"

'Ghetsis: I have no more to say. Thank you one and all for your attention.'

The Plasma Grunts packed up the flags before walking down the street and out of view. After a bit more chatter, everyone dispersed… but two obviously plot-important people. One of which was already involved in the plot.

**I**

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	56. Drayden's Drawnout Draconic Discussion

Chapter 56: Drayden's Drawn-out Draconic Discussion

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

'Iris: What was that about? That speech was off-the-charts strange!'

'?: The cooperation of people and pokemon is how Unova came to exist to begin with. If a pokemon really didn't want anything to do with humans, it would simply leave… Capturing a pokemon in a Poke Ball doesn't mean you've captured its heart.' Said a white-haired person.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Iris? It was ? before! …Oh. Who's Iris?'

'Pansear: Someone from Casteli-'

'Lampent: Oh! She and that guy next to her are those two that Alder talked about!'

'Pansear: I wasn't done explaining!'

The screen shifted over to me and Alder.

'Alder: Let's go, Kyle!'

'Stoutland: Yeah. Let's go on the quest to walk up to them!'

We walked up to them.

'Alder: It's been a while, Iris and Drayden.'

'Iris: Oh! Mr. Alder! …And the guy who helped out that time.'

"She doesn't remember my name?"

'Drayden: What's wrong? Why does the wandering Champion who left the Pokemon League need from us?'

'Pansear: What's wrong? Why did he just give us a random infodump? And who does that?'

'Unfezant: Pachurisi?'

'Lampent: Pachee-what? And people do it all the time, don't they?'

"Not really, outside of games."

'Alder: Basically, my request is this. Tell us about the legendary Dragon-type pokemon!'

"And when they're asked to." I added.

'Iris: Are you talking about Zekrom? Or Reshiram? What's the sudden interest?'

"A guy awoke one so we have to awake the other to fight him."

'Drayden: Hmmm… Moments ago, a person named Ghetsis was here. He said a Trainer named N has reawakened Zekrom… Is this the person that you speak of?'

'Alder: Yes! He sent Kyle to go look for the other one!'

'Samurott: …I'm just now realizing how silly the plot is.'

'Lampent: Be quiet, there's more plot on!'

'Drayden: Let me check that I have this straight. This N, or what have you, presumes to set the two Dragon-type pokemon against each other in battle to test his convictions?'

'Light Stone: …I…do…rematch?…..'

'Iris: Oh, no! The Dragon-type pokemon get along so well!'

'Alder: That's right, Iris. The ones who make pokemon battle are the Trainers… And it's so the Trainers and the Pokemon can get to know each other better.'

Alder turned to face me. 'I'm going to the Pokemon League. No, I guess in this case I should say I'm "returning" to the Pokemon League! Of course, I'll defeat N! I'll teach him about the beauty of this world, where Pokemon and Trainers live together in harmony!'

'Stoutland: Whoa, whoa, whoa. N's the main antagonist. You cannot hope to defeat him unless you get Kyurem.'

"Who?"

'Stoutland: Nevermind.'

'Alder: Also, Kyle, I'll be waiting for you. Once you've obtained the Opelucid Badge, come to the League! The Opelucid Gym Leader is tough. Take care!'

Alder walked down and right, down the street and offscreen.

'Samurott: No Flying? Come on. We need more NPC Flying.

'Lampent: With Snivies.'

'Unfezant: Finally! Someone agrees!'

'Lampent: No… I just found that if you add 'with snivies' to the end of a sentence, it's made funnier with snivies. Try it, Samurott!'

'Iris: Awww… He's gone. Is he OK? He looked kinda scary.'

'Drayden: Don't worry, Iris. He is the strongest Trainer in all of Unova.'

Drayden turned to me. 'Well, Kyle, is it? Come to my home. As Alder asked, I'll tell you everything I can about the legendary Dragon-type pokemon. Iris, child, please show the way.'

Drayden walked offscreen, while Iris walked up to me.

'Iris: you bet! If it's Opelucid City, I can take you anywhere. As for the story of Zekrom and Reshiram, we'll tell you all we know about it! This way!'

Iris walked to the right, bringing the pokemon center and a…handheld piano…thing player into view, adding another synth into the music.

'Stoutland: Yeah! Way to go! Play the BGM off, keyboard guy!'

'Ferrothorn: …wot?'

'Stoutland: Reference. But the music is awesome.'

'Ferrothorn: Oh.

'Iris: That way!'

Iris walked upwards, leaving me to save, then go in the pokemon center to heal.

'Pansear: So now what?'

"Now, we go hear lots of backstory."

'Lampent: With snivies.'

I walked out of the pokemon center, and down the road to Iris. When I reached her, she hopped excitedly. 'Just a little farther!'

Iris walked up, and I followed to a building with a door blocked with a sheet of glass.

'Iris: This is it!'

Iris walked to the sheet of glass… and broke it. Then she stepped through. And then the sheet of glass reappeared.

"What? That is insanely cool."

'Lampent: See! Lightsabers!'

I walked upwards, and the glass fragmented from the center out, and allowed me to enter the building. It was rather plain, with black carpeting and a blue light lining the walls.

'Drayden: I'll explain. What you are holding is the Light Stone.'

"…It's in my bag."

'Drayden: Ahem. What you have with you is the Light Stone. Reshiram, who will likely awaken from the Light Stone, and Zekrom, who is already awake, were once the same Pokémon.'

'Lampent: Wait, whaaat? No way!'

"Well, that's going to be the third game. I think some hackers or somebody found a 'god stone' in the game, so maybe that's the main pokemon?"

'Stoutland: Lampent, please save disbelief until the end of this period where you're still unsure of the fact that you're in a game. Thank you.'

'Iris: That single Dragon Pokémon, along with twin heroes, brought a new region into being.'

'Samurott: What, did it use Draco Meteor repeatedly until a region formed?'

'Iris: It called down meteors, and made homes and places for everyone. And people and Pokémon had happy lives!'

'Lampent: Oh, come on! When I do it, it never works, but when he does it, it works with snivies? Heehee.'

'Drayden: One day, however... The twin heroes, the older brother who sought the truth, and the younger brother who sought ideals, began to argue about how to decide which one of them was right... The single Dragon-type Pokémon that had been with them all that time split its body into two. One sided with the older brother, and the other with the younger brother.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot are ideals and truth?'

'Lampent: How did it split? Isn't that, like, impossible?'

'Stoutland: It's a legend. Don't question it.'

'Lampent: What's a legend? The pokemon, or the legend of the legends?'

'Stoutland: …both? Ugh.'

'Iris: In its pursuit of ideals, the black Dragon-type Pokémon, sought ideals and to usher in a new and better world... Its name was Zekrom. And the other, the white Dragon-type Pokémon sought truth, and to usher in a new world-a world of good… Its name was Reshiram.'

'Ferrothorn: Yeah, wot ARE truth and ideals anyway?'

'Drayden: Because the two of them were once the same entity, their battle raged endlessly and neither one could be declared the winner. They simply exhausted themselves.'

'Samurott: They didn't fight in an actual battle, did they? Wouldn't that have almost destroyed the region? …nah, it's a game. It wouldn't.'

'Drayden: The twin heroes proclaimed that there was no one side that was right and ceased the conflict.'

'Pansear: Oh. That's good. Anything else happen?'

'Iris: Well... The two heroes' sons started the battle again!'

'Lampent: With snivies?'

'Pansear: …really. [NOTREALLYBAD BUTSTILLCENSORED]s.'

'Iris: And an instant later, Reshiram and Zekrom wrecked Unova with fire and lightning! Then, they disappeared! But, but... If people work with Pokémon in the right way, we don't have to worry anymore about the world being destroyed. I mean, Reshiram and Zekrom worked hard for everyone and made a new region! So, it should be all right, I think.'

'Drayden: True. Pokémon cannot speak.'

'Samurott: Hey!'

'Pansear: Hey!'

'Lampent: Hey!'

'Unfezant: Whey!'

'520: …?'

'Drayden: People may hurt Pokémon even more by imposing their selfish thoughts on them. But, no matter what, Pokémon and people believe in each other, need each other, and will continue to live together...'

'Iris: Yeah! So I'm never gonna forgive Team Plasma for trying to separate Pokémon and us!'

'Samurott: Yeah! Black is a story of cooperation, and destroying friendship! Therefore Team Plasma is evil.'

'Pansear: We knew that already. I mean they STOLE you guys.'

'Stoutland: That wasn't so bad, really. It just seemed like a second and then I saw the battle screen. But that's off topic.'

'Drayden: Sorry. We got a little off topic at the end. That is everything we know. Unfortunately, we don't know how to wake up the legendary Pokémon...'

'Samurott: …so we came here just to listen to backstory?'

'Lampent: With snivies.'

'Samurott: Be quiet.'

Drayden took a second before talking again.

'Drayden:I made a promise to Alder. You must win the Gym Badge from the Opelucid Pokémon Gym. I, as the Opelucid Gym Leader, await your challenge at the Pokemon Gym!'

**A/N: I interpreted Truth as the world we live in, and Ideals as an ideal world. Maybe in an ideal world people live in harmony with pokemon, but the truth is our world now.**


	57. Giga Dragon Gym

**A/N: Yes, Drayden did really say that pokemon can't speak. Hilarity followed.**

**Also, Ashley Eon said a wonderful explanation of Truth and Ideals that I'm going to post here (it still doesn't explain how truth is technology and ideals are old-fashioned. Maybe moore's law is the truth?)**

'**I think of Truth as how things are without exaggeration or wishful thinking. Ideals are what we wish to happen, and want to be real. Truth kind of wants Ideals to get its head out of the clouds, and Ideals wants Truth to realize that things can change...'**

**And on a completely random note, I just found that Drayden's eves are yellow. Yeah.**

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injuries that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 57: Giga Dragon Gym

Drayden, having just revealed in a rather nondescript way that he was the Opelucid City gym leader, walked out of the building.

'Samurott: So the exposition's over? Good. Now we need to go challenge the gym. '

'Ferroseed: …so wot type is the gym?'

'Pansear: A building-type. Or maybe steel. Call me crazy, but I have a hunch the gym is Dragon.'

'Lampent: Okay…you're crazy?'

'Pansear: *facepalms before realizing that he doesn't actually know how those little asterisks are pronounced and going into a very deep logical conundrum spanning at least two lines but in the game probably about five or something because the text box holds thirty six characters or was it thirty eight no wait pixels are a better measurement-*'

'Lampent: You notice them?'

'Samurott: PAY ATTENTION TO MY YELLING TO SNAP OUT OF IT!'

'Pansear: *wait, wha- …what did I have to snap out of?*'

'Ferroseed: Wot are those little stars?'

"They're asterisks, things that show an action."

'Pansear: *What st- …I have asterisks surrounding my speech. Joy. How does that even work?*'

'Samurott: Maybe Lampent has an asterisk button too?'

'Lampent: No, that's back at the Tower. No one but me, Litwick, and Litwick saw them. No one ever looks up!'

'Stoutland: But that's beside the point. We need to tackle the gym. All in favor of it say something. All not in favor mope because we're doing it.'

'Unfezant: Aww. Am I allowed a compensation blimp from Drayden?'

"No. Now come on." I said, walking out the fragmenting glass door.

/* * * *\

l********l

\* * * */

After walking through the glass door, I came down to a split: left or right.

I chose left and came to a road going up, and a road leading out of the city.

'Unfezant: Left! To the shopping mall! We need to buy some cheese!'

'Stoutlant: …do I even need to argue?'

I headed up, passed another glass-for-a-door building, and came to a greyed-out building that looked like a Lucario head.

'Stoutland: Yep, that's the gym.'

'Lampent: But what's it supposed to be?'

"Who cares as long as it's a gym?" I asked, before heading inside… and the camera panning up to reveal what I thought were little black teardrops were dragon heads.

"YOU ARE IN A GYM NOW" said the music, a second later.

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A note: For the 0.0001 percent of you who did not get that, the music did not say that. The music was the gym music that plays in all gyms. If you hear that in the game, you are in a gym. If you hear that in real life, a music player or computer is playing it. If no music player is playing it, you are hallucinating and should see a doctor.

The gym, at first sight, contained black walkways. After getting a Fresh Water from Clyde, he explained that the gym is shaped like two dragons. The path changes when you step on the switches on the dragons' arms. Then the dragons' necks move!

'Stoutland: It's three!'

I walked up, to go on the path… and someone spotted me. 'The Dragon Gy-'

'Lampent: Whoa, Pansear! You're psychic!' got plastered above that.

'Pansear: I'm fire. And it doesn't take much to guess.'

He had a Fraxure, a pokemon that looked like a Dewott with a tail and paint. And a green napkin covering his face and arms, a couple of green scales in back, and two GIANT tusks poking out of its mouth.

'Ferrothorn: Wot's with the tusks? They look…out of place.'

'Fraxure: You insulted my tusks? SHAME ON YOU! I SHALL HIT YOU FOR THIS INSOLENCE!'

He started off with Dragon Claw, which wasn't very effective AND because of Iron Barbs did almost the same amount of damage to Fraxure. My move was Curse, preparing for the next turn.

The next turn went the same way, but with Ferrothorn using Gyro Ball and one-hit KOing the Fraxure.

'Fraxure: NOOOOO! I haven't shown you the joy of losing to an opponent that's obviously far superior to you? NOOO- actually… …YAAAAY!'

And then I returned to the overworld.

'Samurott: Weird guy. I hope not every pokemon we run into has characterization.'

The path led to a windy path up, which despite the turns, was navigated by pressing up. That led to an one-way ledge, and beyond that, a way to jump onto a hand-thing farther up the what-I-assumed-to-be-a-dragon.

But as always, a Trainer blocked it.

With a blue and black blind dinosaur.

Imagine a pig's body. Give the pig a long, stretchy neck. Make the neck black and furry. Make it so furry the lizard head you put on the neck cannot see. Paint the pig blue. You just got a pretty good Deino model.

'Deino: What? Are you food?'

'Ferrothorn: NO. I am NOT.'

'Samurott: …I just had to say that, didn't I.'

'Deino used Crunch! Ferrothorn avoided the attack! Ferrothorn used Curse!'

'Deino: Come back, food!'

Deino's next attack was Dragon Pulse… which still wasn't very effective. So Ferrothorn used Power Whip twice to faint the dining dino.

'Deino: Hey! Can you give back my- OW! Bad…leaves…don't…whip…me…'

'Deino fainted!'

'Lampent: I think I like the Fraxure's person-ality better.'

I ran to the left, and jumped off the triangle mark on the walkway onto the hand of the dragon.

Which rose.

And made the dragon's neck move.

So I walked on it, and reached a walkway on the left, which lead to a path to bounce on the left arm of the dragon.

Which was blocked by a trainer with two Fraxures.

This Fraxure was smarter, and used Taunt to disable Curse before Dragon Dancing. It still wasn't very effective when he used Dragon Claw, and a couple of Power Whips fainted it.

'Lampent: When do **I**get a turn?'

"When Ferrothorn gets to level 42."

The second Fraxure was fainted in a similar way, getting Ferrothorn to level 41, and I jumped down onto the dragon's left hand, raising it and making the head rise straight up to a new level. So I ran up the neck to find a platform leading right.

'Pansear: Wait a minute. The outside of the building is CIRCULAR. These is a SQUARE walls. What the heck?'

'Samurott: I don't know. Maybe they forgot. I hope they fix it if they remake this game.'

The walkway, suspended on air, made its way right, then down, and from there it somehow got into the next chapter.

**A/N: Yes, that's right. I'm replacing a scene break with a portal door here. The gym didn't have a portal door (having no door), so that got the pokeball transition.**

**Review and all that please.**

**I**

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	58. Merrily Trolling Along

Chapter 58: Merrily Trolling Along

…and emerged from the previous chapter into this one as if nothing ever happened.

The walkway from the dragon's head went right, down, and to a trainer with a Fraxure. It started off with a Dragon Dance, and then its Dragon claw got Ferrothorn to 3 HP. 3. Out of 121.

But then Gyro Ball fainted the Fraxure and all was well in the world.

'Samurott: You know, if that person had more pokemon, I could have sworn that this could have been dramatic.'

'Lampent: With snivies.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Dramatic?

"Well, at least I can give him a Hyper." I said, pressing X, bag, Medicine, and giving Ferrothorn my last Moomoo Milk.

From there I continued to the left, down, and jumped onto the right arm of another dragon. The arm lowered, making it lead to… nothing. And the only way was to jump down the dragon's back.

'Pansear: And then we get ambushed by a-'

'Thanks for coming! I happily welcome you!' said a random worker on the dragon's back.'

'520: (.)_(.) O_O'

'Pansear: AAAAAH RANDOMTRAINER!'

This person had a Druddigon, which looked like a dragon whose body is blue, whose wings were chewed on and look like black leaves, and whose head was all bumpy and red. And red scales covered the tail and arms. In all, a very tough but ugly-looking pokemon.

'Unfezant: Eeeew! That cheese is UGLY!'

'Druddigon: Hey! I am not ugly! *sniff*…you're mean.'

'Unfezant: Nonono! Not you, overgrown bread mold. You, cheese. You're ugly.

Druddigon used Chip away, which did very little damage. Ferrothorn powered up with Curse before using Gyro Ball and Power Whip to faint the Druddigon and get to level 42.

'Pansear: Did he just say 'my heart aches'? Golett, how'd that get into this game?'

'Lampent: Ferrothorn's level 42! My turn!'

The menu seemed to spring up before I pressed X, but that was me. I then pressed Pokemon, and switched Pansear in front.

'Stoutland: Before you ask, Pansear and I are level 41.'

'Lampent: But that's so FAIR! …wait…'

Past the dragon was a walkway leading to the left hand, tilting the dragon's head to the right and letting me go to a walkway, and from there to some stairs. Which led down to…

'Samurott: How many of these trainers are there here?'

'Lampent: Maybe there's a league of them, all for hire with snivies?'

The first pokemon was a Deino, which Pansear fainted with a Fire Blast and a couple Cuts. The next pokemon was a Fraxure. Cut here did about one sixth of the Fraxure's HP, and a Dragon Claw fainted Pansear.

'Pansear: …insert…funny…ugh…quote…here…'

'Stoutland: I'm sure we can find a book of them at the We-Have-Every-Book-Ever(But-Only-If-You-Need-To-Read-The-Book-For-A-Joke-Because-Then-We-Don't-Have-It) Nacrene Library.'

Stoutland came in with Work Up, while Fraxure used Dragon dance to power up too. Because nothing but ice and dragon is super effective to dragon, Stoutland went for the Same Type Attack Bonus with Strength and got a 1 hit KO. And grew to level 42.

'Lampent: Me go! Me go!'

"Fine, you can go." I said, sending Lampent out against a Druddigon.

Lampent first sent in a substitute… which then got Crunched into oblivion. So the Lampent used Will-o-wisp, but got Crunched and got down to 11 HP.

So Lampent used Hex.

And did about half of HP damage.

'Lampent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-'

'Samurott: Save the references for later.'

'Lampent: That's…a…reference?'

So then Samurott came in, did awesome surfing skills, and fainted the Druddigon, winning the battle.

This allowed me to go down, and drop onto the right…no…left hand of a dragon facing down, making the head go down. So what did I do?

I walked ALL THE WAY BACK UP to the staircase, then ALL THE WAY BACK DOWN to the arm, moving the head to the left.

'Samurott: I swear, Nintendo-'

'Pansear: Game Freak.'

'Samurott: Game Freak. But they seem like they're trying to annoy us.'

"Really? Of course not. They wouldn't make us just go back and do stuff again just for no reason. That would be mean." I said sarcastically.

This time, the head led to a trainer with a Deino and a Druddigon. Stoutland took them both down with Strength, despite fainting due to the Druddigon's ability, Rough Skin, working like Iron Barbs.

'Samurott: You know, half the team's fainted. I suggest retreat.'

"Well, I don't think that's an option now." I said, jumping on the arm. This made the head go straight up, and led to another dragon. I headed up… to find myself BEHIND that worker person.

'Pansear: Yay…to…conserve…space….'

I headed a bit down the tail and ran right… to find a trainer advancing quickly into the center of the screen.

She had two Fraxures, and the first one was taken down by Ferrothorn. The second one was defeated by Samurott, enabling me to continue on the path upwards… which made me jump on a dragon's hand, clearing the path upwards…

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Is that…'

'Samurott: What? Drayden said he's the Leader. Why does that surprise you?'

'Ferrothorn: No… it's… that portal behind him! I think it leads to the beginning! So let's heal then challenge him!'

"So then. Let's retreat!" I said, stepping into the portal and landing on the grey spot in the beginning.

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So then I ran down to the pokemon center and ran in.

/* * * *\

l********l

\* * * */

Then I healed.

'Pansear: Wait a minute. The Pokemon Center doesn't have portal doors.'

'Samurott: Why are you bringing this up?'

'520: *points*'

Samurott: Oh.'

Then I ran back to the gym and went in.

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And ran right, up the first dragon, and onto a walkway and then onto a hand. Then I ran up and down onto the other hand. Then I ran up onto a walkway and onto another hand. Then I went on the other hand. Then I went down stairs. Then I went onto an arm. Then I went onto the arm again. Then I went onto the other arm. Then I accidentally went onto the tail of the dragon and jumped onto the arm twice. Then I jumped on the other arm. Then I jumped onto an arm of another dragon.

AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO DRAYDEN.

"Yeah, I think that's certainly annoying." I said.

* * *

><p>'Stoutland: Wait a minute. Did we just go through a chapter involving floating dragons AND NOT QUESTION HOW THEY WORK? What has befallen us?'<p>

'Unfezant: WE MUST REPENT WITH SOME SNIVIES!'

**I**

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	59. A Draconic Duel

**Bubbles: You can't do a story on a phone. *some form of death music***

**Ashwolf: Maybe once per generation there's a trolling gym. Probably less.**

**I'm just wondering. Does anyone else suffer from a lack of crazy ideas but too many good ones?**

Chapter 59: A Draconic Duel

I stood before Drayden, ready to challenge him for the last thing needed to get to the elite four thing and beat this thing in a hopeless attempt at dramatic tension.

'Welcome.' Said Drayden, after I pressed A on him. 'Thank you for coming. I am Opelucid Pokemon Gym's leader, Drayden.'

'Stoutland: Okay, this is starting to get ridiculous. We know who you are, Drayden.'

'Unfezant: Maybe he has a chronic ontilogical memory quantum disorder?'

'Stoutland: …should I bother pointing out what's wrong with that?'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's wrong with it? I don't think it's wrong.'

'Stoutland: That's because you only know the word memory!'

'Ferrothorn: …yes, but wot's wrong with it?'

'Drayden: As the mayor, I've given everything to developing the city. As a Trainer, I've simply been pursuing greater strength. But what I'm searching for now is a young trainer who can show me a bright future.'

"Hey, it's like Volkner!"

'Drayden: Slightly. Perhaps you can show me that future, the way Iris has?'

The screen flashed twice, the music started up, pillars of lava and water collided, and a gym battle began for the last time in the game.

Drayden started with a Fraxure, right off the bat, against Pansear. Pansear used Fire Blast! The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Dance! Pansear used Fire Blast! The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Dance! Pansear used Fire Blast! The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Dance! Pansear used Fire Blast! The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Dance! Pansear used Fire Blast! The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Dance! Pansear used Fire Blast!

'Samurott: For the record, that was five times.'

The foe's Fraxure used Dragon Tail! It missed!

'Fraxure: Nooo! I got the aiming right, the birds all set up, and I was RIGHT THERE! NOOO!'

'Pansear: If it makes you feel better, I jumped over that slow tail of yours.'

'Fraxure: SLOW? FAAAAINT!'

'Samurott: Yeah. That seriously sounds bad.'

'Pansear: I have two words for you.'

"Are they epic?"

'Pansear: Probably. They are Fire Blast.'

Fraxure used Dragon Tail! Pansear fainted! Pansear's epicness fell to insanely low levels!

'Pansear:…why…'

'Lampent: It's simple. Armok hates you.'

'Pansear: …who…?'

'Lampent: I don't know. I just made it up. Though it's probably a reference.'

'Stoutland: Stop talking and listen to the music. One more faint and we won't ever hear this again.'

I switched in Stoutland to face the tusked dragon, when the unthinkable happened.

Drayden used a HYPER POTION.

'Fraxure: Yes! Ha! Take that! I'm doing a Dance now! Yeah!'

Luckily, Stoutland's Strength took out over half of Fraxure's HP, and because the Fraxure used Dragon Dance and not Dragon Tail on the next turn, Stoutland managed to faint the little reptile.

'Lampent: Yes! Ha! Take that! I'm doing a GLOAT now! Yeah!'

'Samurott: Yes! Ha! You got the parody down!'

"Drayden. Yes! Ha! I'm sending in a Druddigon now!" I said, saying what I thought Drayden would say in this scenario.

'520: *facepalms*'

'Pansear: …why…'

'520: *points*'

'Pansear: Oh…the…humor…yeah…that's…ruined…totally…'

I tapped the screen and Drayden sent out a Druddigon. Stoutland started with Strength, but it did a third and not half of its HP like the Fraxure.

'Druddigon: Ha! Take this! Night Slash!'

'Lampent: …that just sounds so corny.'

'Stoutland: Be quiet, Lampent. Enjoy the music.'

'Lampent: How do you enjoy music when there's awesome going on?'

'Stoutland: …somehow?'

The Night Slash did about the same about of damage, and next turn the same thing happened. And on the next turn the same thing happened, except Druddigon fainted.

'Stoutland: No! Don't press the Keep Battling button! Then this music is lost FOREVER!'

"There's youtube." I reminded Stoutland.

'Stoutland: Oh. Go ahead. EPICNESS HERE!'

I pressed Keep Battling instead of Switch Pokemon, but it didn't matter too much. Because in both cases, epicness appeared. And here it did.

'Stoutland: YESYESYES! No one talk. This is too epic.'

'Now is the moment of truth! This really gets my blood pumping!' said Drayden, sending out a Haxorus.

Haxor…I are, in appearance, big green metal anteaters on two legs. The legs themselves are black with the standard yellow-green plates, giving the appearance of a black stripe, and the feet are just black. The tail stretches out behind, and is plated too, as well as the next, leading up to some hatchet-like tusks running along the side of its head.

And of course, it had the word HAX in its name. Meaning: Utter pwnage.

'Haxorus: HELLO MY NAME IS ALL-DEVOUR1NG SOUL 3ATER OF D00M WHAT IS YOURS?' popped up in a big spiky text box.

'Stoutland: And we're going to battle you? Awesome!'

'Lampent: Whoa! He would make an awesome boss! And I'm Lampent!'

'Haxorus: HELLO LAMPENT. WHILE I WOULD L0VE TO CHAT I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGED TO STOMP YOU INTO SPACE BITS ON TEH GROUND. SO I AM AFRAID I HAVE TO FAINT YOU. HOWEVAH I CAN TRY LOWERING YOUR CAR INSURANCEH. I CAN PROBABLY GET YOU ABOUT 15% OR LESS.'

'Stoutland: I don't even have a car. But TIME TO KICK HAX SAURUS REAR!'

I took my hands off the DS to watch. It was Stoutland's battle now.

Stoutland started off with Strength, which did a bit less then half HP… but then Dragon Tail eliminated the 27 HP she had left.

'Haxorus: SEE TEHS IS WHY YOU NEED CAR INSURANCE. WHO IS NEXT TO BE UB3R PWN3Z0RS?'

'Ferrothorn: Wot are you saying? Anyway, can I battle?'

I tapped Ferrothorn, sending him out. He started with Curse, as Haxorus used Dragon Dance.

'Samurott: I don't think he can take a hit! Use a X defend!'

"X? What do they d- oh."

I tapped bag, Battle Items, then… X defend, the only one there.

'Samurott: No, I'm not psychic.'

I used it on Ferrothorn, and it made a really big Defense increase.

And then Ferrothorn used Gyro Ball. And the foe's Haxorus fainted.

'Haxorus: NOOO THE 0FFAH HAS EXPIRED ALL-DEVOUR1NG SOUL 3ATER OF D00M IS NOT RESPONSIBLE NOOO NOW I CANT SELL YOU MY REDUCED RATE CR3DIT CARDS!'

'Ferrothorn: Maybe you need insurance. (…Samurott, you're not fainted, right? Wot's insurance?)'

And with that comment, the most epic music ever heard in a pokemon game came to a close along with the battle.

And so, in a flashy animation, I got a spikey black ice cream cone and the ability to teach a pokemon Dragon Tail Whip. But that's not nearly as epic as a Haxorus battle.

**I**

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	60. Dancing Digitally

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any random dancing, love of snivies, choking, or heart attacks that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Interlude 60: Dancing Digitally

'Unfezant: Yay, an interlude! It's time to dance! EVERYONE DANCE USING THE CHEESE PROVIDED!'

'Samurott: …I don't know about the cheese, but I kind of like the idea of dancing. Musical?'

'Stoutland: But then Kyle won't be able to see it! It's an interlude, he's gone!'

'Lampent: He's gon- hey! He was gone last time, with the X button, too!'

**It's an interlude. It's pretty much random non-plot related things. If he was here, you couldn't do as many things.**

'Lampent: Oh… … so can we do a musical?'

'Unfezant: But how are we going to get there? We can't fl- Aha! I've got it!'

'Ferrothorn: You're going to let us fly on you? Didn't you say that you're not going to do that?'

'Unfezant: No! Everyone aboard the giant numerically named golem rocket ship!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot?'

'Samurott: …?'

'520: *points to self* ?'

'Unfezant: Yeah, you! You must give us all a ride to get to Mean Basin City! NOW! Or else I will Quick Attack you!'

'520: … … …? … *nods*'

'Stoutland: You know? We're like 100 pounds or kilos or something. Or, a lot of weight. How can it carry us?'

'Pansear: As long as it works, don't question it. And besides, we need something to do for a thousand words or so.'

Onscreen, a couple pokemon popped out of their pokeballs and walked behind one of them. The green pokemon turned into a bird, cracked a hole in the ceiling of the gym, and flew away in a burst of feathers to Nimbasa City.

'Unfezant: It's Mufasa! No, wait…'

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The landing was pretty much the same thing: A bird appeared, the bird turned back into a big green golem, the golem landed in front of the pokemon center, and a couple other pokemon appeared around it.

'Stoutland: …for something that's never been done EVER before, that was a pretty smooth ride.'

'520: :D'

'Unfezant: Come on! To the musical! Let's hijack the jelly supplies and take over the tri-region area!'

Unfezant ran off to the right, in a determined rush… before turning around and wondering where the heck everyone was.

And then running crazily upwards in a rush to get back with everybody, who were nearing Big Stadium.

'Pansear: You know… I wonder if anyone's going to try and catch us.'

A football player emerged from the stadium. '?: Hey! Rare pokemon! Go pokeball!'

'520: O_O'

'Samurott: You just had to say it.'

'Lampent: I suggest we RUN FOR OUR LIVES!'

'Stoutland: Wait. We're captured. No one else can capture someone that's captured.'

'Samurott: No, the trainer just blocks…the…ball…so…we can be caught. I think.'

'Unfezant: RUN AS IF YOU WERE RUNNING FROM A PACK OF SNIVIES!'

Almost as one, the group of pokemon ran to the right.

'?: Hey! Get back here!'

With some random person chasing after them.

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After a chase of about five seconds, seven pokemon burst into the pink-carpeted lobby of the Musical Theater or whatever it was called.

'Samurott: Is…that…done?'

'Lampent: I think so… the guy's not here, right?'

'Ferrothorn: He better not. But first… wot's a musical?'

'Pansear: Do I have to be Mr. exposition? It's a form of entertainmen- no, sidequest that involves pokemon dressing up and dancing in front of people. … … …you know on second thought, I'm not doing it.'

'Stoutland: Okay then… for all you guys want a musical so much-'

'Unfezant: Yeah!'

'Stoutland: Have you ever considered how we get in?'

Everyone but Unfezant and Stoutland stopped panting/whatever they were doing and began to look around. They probably did other things too, but at least some of them looked around and saw:

A desk with a couple of doors behind it.

Stoutland charging towards the desk.

The floor.

Stoutland going through the door.

'Stoutland: That's how we get in. Come on!'

'Pansear: Wasn't there a lady behind the desk before?'

'Stoutland: … …nope… … anyway, come on!'

'Unfezant: To the UTTER DANCING!'

'520: *sighs*'

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Behind the door was a plain room, with a salon-style mirror adorning one wall, a coat hook with a couple of hats on it, and a guy in a Indiana Jones had addressing four people in a line, presumably the musical actors or something.

'?: Welcome to the musical! I'm very pleased with your participation! Participants for this musical are: Joey will participate with Ratat! Ali will participate with Ria! Ashley will participate with Electro! Bill will participate with Ripplestar! And the show you'll be performing is Stardo-'

Stoutland arrived in the room, took a look at it, and pushed the first person downwards before taking his place. The person, presumably Joey, did absolutely nothing. Neither did anyone else.

'Lampent: Wait, Stoutland! You don't go pushing people out of lines! It's unfair!'

'Stoutland: They're NPCs that have no reactions programmed. That or the glitch is being lazy.'

An anvil appeared from nowhere, bonked Stoutland on the head, then vanished.

'Stoutland: …OW. Anyway, no repercussions! Do you want to do a musical or no?'

'Lampent: …okay.'

Lampent and Unfezant ran up and pushed the third and fourth person, while Samurott walked up to the fourth, and after a moment's hesitation, pushed it.

'Ferrothorn: Wo- ah, I think I'll watch.'

'Pansear: Me too.'

The announcer guy continued. '-m. Well, without further ado, let's Dress Up!'

The screen shifted to a pink flowery background with tons of accessories arranged in a circle. Below it, absolutely nothing happened.

'Pansear: … … …maybe someone could press OK?'

'Unfezant: Yeah! I'll go!'

Unfezant jumped from her position, flew upwards, tore a hole in the screen and landed on the 'OK!' on the bottom screen.

Which then moved to the left.

'Unfezant: Oh, come on. DIE!'

Unfezant jumped onto 'OK!' again… and fell on top of Lampent.

'Lampent: Hey!'

'Unfezant: Sorry! There was this okay and then a flash and then cheese and-'

'?: I guess everyone is ready. Let's go up on stage!'

'Unfezant: HEY I WASN'T DONE TALKING!'

And then the screen went black.

And then a TV on the wall turned on, showing a stage, and a couple of pokemon jumping to the left.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? How do… whoa! It's moving! It's you guys! How…'

'Pansear: Whuh? Do…they…use A TV? HAHAHA! So that's why the Stoutland and the Lampent look about the same size!'

'Lampent: It's us! Though, the musicals use TVs?'

Everyone turned around, and in a flash of light… jump-turned forward.

Four spotlights appeared on the four pokemon, and they began dancing while techno-ish musicic started to play.

'Samurott: …that seems more like hopping everywhere.'

'Stoutland: Be quiet and enjoy it.'

They jumped left, they jumped right, they tilted and jumped again, and they rolled.

'Lampent: So that's why they use a TV! I wouldn't wanna roll like that.'

A couple grainy chiptune notes mixed into the soundtrack, and the pokemon split up into two groups before recombining, jumping, and doing ANOTHER FLIP IN MIDAIR.

'520: O_O'

The pokemon jumped some more, faced backwards and jumped, and then all the spotlights but the one on Stoutland went out.

Stoutland's sprite jumped to the left,stopped, and did a ROLL ON ITS HEAD back to its original position.

'Lampent: Solos? My turn!'

Lampent's solo was pretty much the same, except at the end of the roll it jumped again. Unfezant did a midair roll, which was quite impressive, and Samurott did a jump roll before all the spotlights went on and everyone jumped around more and rolled before doing a simultaneous roll and ending with a picture perfect shot, which a curtain descended on.

'?: Good job! It was a musical with some very exciting moments!'

'Pansear: Ah! We're at 1300 words! Kyle might be back!'

'Stoutland: Uh oh. Everyone. To the Golurk!'

'Unfezant: Yay! WE get to tear holes in more stuff!'

'520: o_o … … *sighs*'

Everyone's sprites ran from their positions, merged into Golurk's, and flew away to cities of Opelucid.

'?: In fact, I've received some comments from the aud- … where'd everyone go?'

**A/N: Yes, I did ratat. Seriously, the trainers in the musical have horrible nicknames. Tulerie? PEEKS?**

**And it's bad to put your real name on a website and then link to it from a username-based (AKA anonymous) one. Just saying.**

**I**

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	61. The Master of Gossip

_Zzzp2 is not responsible for any choking, heart attacks, or any other laughter-related injures that may result from the reading of this fic. Read at your own risk!_

Chapter 61: The Master of Gossip

(Alternate chapter title: The Master of making a three-minute scene into an entire chapter)

"Whew! It's done!" I said, completely oblivious to the fact that an entire interlude had happened in an alternate universe or a time freeze or… something.

'Unfezant: Yeah! The musical is done, and it's time to go beat more people up!'

'Stoutland: ...maybe not in that phrasing, but yeah.'

'Lampent: So let's take the Shiny Green Portal and get out of here!'

'Pansear: Why'd you capitalize it?'

'Samurott: Who cares, let's get out of here!'

"Couldn't have said it better myself." I said, and walked around Drayden into the Portal and teleported back to the entrance.

'Lampent: See! It's capitalized!'

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I walked outside of the gym to find a random guy… next to professor Juniper.

"Hey, we get a new character?"

'Samurott: No, that guy was there before… doesn't he have anything better to do?'

'Lampent: Or… OHMYRESHIRAM THATGUYSBEENTURNED INTOASTATUE BY… uh, N! Because he's the main evil dude! Obviously.'

The guy took a step.

And Juniper walked towards me. '…Hello! Was Drayden as tough as ever?'

'Lampent: I don't know. The Haxorus soul dude was pretty funny though.'

'Juniper: Oh, I came to report on how to resurrect the legendary Reshiram. I thought it would be better to tell you in person then over the Xtransciever.'

'Light Stone: …oh…really…zzzzz'

'Pansear: Yes, really! Hand over your plot-driving info!'

'Juniper: And as for the conclusion…'

'Pansear: Get on with it!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? You know that the only thing interrupting is you, right?'

'Pansear: And you!'

'Juniper: Well…'

'Pansear: SAY IT!'

'Juniper: I haven't figured it out yet. I'm sure the pokemon will wake up when it deems someone worthy.'

"…"

The screen shook all of a sudden.

'Lampent: Why'd the screen shake?'

'Pansear: …I…think…I…just…broke…seven…teen…bones…or…at…least…data…points…'

'Juniper: More importantly, aren't you amazing! You have all eight of Unova's Gym Badges now, right? You've become so strong!'

"I think the pokemon have. I guess. If your posessions are strong, does that make you strong?"

'Juniper: You probably don't know it, but you've changed a lot since you left Nuvema Town. Well then, I'll show you where such a strong trainer should head next!'

'Samurott: And she shows us the next route. WE KNOW.'

'Unfezant: Maybe some players have jelly beans for kidneys and can't find it.'

'Samurott: Well, then they deserve it.'

Juniper walked up to my right, and we walked right before going up to the terminal.

'Juniper: Pass through that gate, go down Route 10, and you'll arrive at the Badge Check Gates! Once you get through Victory Road, which is past the gates, you're finally at the Pokemon League!'

"And then we beat the ga- league! Finally, after all these gyms. " I said.

'Lampent: I liked them! And there were only three, right? No- did Nimbasa have one? Four. Only four.'

'Juniper: Oh, that just made me think of when I was showing you around the Pokemon Center in Accumula Town. Kyle, do you regret setting out on your journey?'

"Wha-"

'Stoutland: What? That is totally unrelated. The gyms comment. And then the memory. Not the completely random question out of nowher- actually, that could go both ways.'

'Samurott: The question is whether you regret it. I don't know… I certainly don't. Sure, I can't clap, but I GET SAMURAI ARMOR. I think I like setting off.'

'Stoutland: What, are we all doing monologues about it?'

'Samurott: …I think it's a good ide- HEY WHYDIDYOUPRESSNO?'

"Because I don't?" I asked.

'Juniper: Thanks! That's the greatest answer you could give! I was really happy to be able to give you three those pokemon! Because pokemon create chances to meet more wonderful people and pokemon!'

'Pansear: …that sounds odd. Seriously. It needs to be rectified in the third game. Other Golett? If you can hear me, can you look up the English translator? He needs to fix that line of text.'

'Unfezant: Or put with snivies into the game! That would be SO INSANELY AWESOME!'

'Lampent: …isn't it in this game already?'

'Juniper: Kyle, this is a present for you!'

Juniper stepped forward, and the text box popped up with possibly the best text ever.

'Kyle obtained a MASTER BALL!'

'Stoutland: Da na na naaa!'

"Heck yeah!"

'Ferrothorn: …Wot's so special about it?'

'Lampent: Ohmyreshiram! …you…you…AWESOME! It can catch ANY pokemon. ANY. ALWAYS. Unless it's someone else's, but WE HAD STORIES ABOUT THEM! THOSE BALLS ARE LEGENDS! AND KYLE JUST GOT ONE!'

'Ferrothorn: Eee ball eee awesome eee wot?'

Juniper explained. 'This Master ball is the most powerful kind of poke ball. It can catch any pokemon without fail. This is the only way to support you, except to say…'

'The Xtransciever is ringing.'

'Ferrothorn: That's some kind of bad advice.'

'Juniper: Hello? Oh. I see. Thank you. Click! Well, Mako, my lab assistant, has something at the lab for me. I have to go. See you!'

Juniper walked down, and I took the time to save.

'Stoutland: …that seemed OOC there.'

'Pansear: Well, Mako should also be in the next game. Seriously. Someone email the writer person.'

"What's Ook?"

'Stoutland: … it's Out Of Character. '

"Anyway. To route 10!"

I walked upwards, into the gate, when an '!' appeared over the WORKER's head.

'Hi, Trainer! Do you have a minute?'

I walked over. 'I just heard this on the Xtransciever. There's a big storn on Route 7'

'Stoutland: And not on the humongous ticker tape in front of you?'

'Pansear: There, another thing to revise.'

'And the storm seems to be different from a natural phenomenon- no, phenomina- phentominal- phenomon! So strange!'

'Lampent: Maybe the storm knocked out the wires which transmit new data?'

'Ferrothorn: Be quiet.'

"Anyway. I think this is Game Freak saying 'there's a legend for you to capture. So. Let's go capture a legendary!"I said, pressing down to walk out of the terminal.

'Unfezant: Yeah! I bet it's an air golem! With rockets and a giant fish on top of it and it's always with snivies!'

"…I don't know about that last part, but considering we have a lamp pokemon it seems possible."

I said, pressing pokemon, Golurk, and Fly and Flying to Misaltron.

'Pansear: You, readers. I want you to look at Black's credits and find the English translation guy, and email him and tell him to change that text in BW2.'

'Unfezant: And put with snivies in the game! That would be AWESOME!'

'Pansear: …yeah. Great idea.'

**I**

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	62. April Showers Bring Lawsuits

**I have bad news.**

**I just got a take-down request.**

**However, I wish to keep this up.**

**So, for the rest of the story, I will have to use original names for everyone. (And maybe move it to somewhere that isn't blatantly fanfiction)**

**As of now:**

**Pansear = Bob;**

**Oshawott,Dewott,Samurott = Apricot, Doublecot, Cheesecurl;**

**Lillipup, Herdier, Stoutland = Pup, Sheep, Dane**

**Pidove, Tranquill, Unfezant = Energy, Ten, OMGBWAT**

**Ferroseed, Ferrothorn = Seed, Thorn**

**Litwick, Lampent =Unlitwick, Sinnai**

**Golett, Golurk = Golumm, Idunwana**

**With these changes made, I am reasonably confident that I have distanced myself from Nintendo's trademarks. Anyway. On with the chapter!**

Chapter 62: April Showers bring lawsuits

'Bob: [CENSORED] IS SO MUCH BETTER A NAME THEN BOB!'

'Dane: Yeah. And you know I'm still a girl, right?'

'Cheesecurl: …This name is moderately embarrassing.'

'OMGBWAT: This name thing is AWESOME! It's what I always wanted!'

'Sinnai: …I don't know… Will Kyle see it?'

'Thorn: Wot's with all the noise?'

'Dane: THE AUTHOR PERSON CHANGED ALL OF OUR NAMES TO RIDICULOUS STUFF!'

'Thorn: Is that so bad? Come on, we're in Misaltron! Let's go see the legendary!'

'Cheesecurl: That better not be trademarked.'

"What are you guys talking about?"

'Cheesecurl: (you don't see?) …nothing. Come on, let's go.'

I ran around the pokemon center, then up and right before emerging in Route 7. The sky cleared… before it ominously getting darker. And then suddenly: It began raining. Hard.

'Sinnai: Hey! It's seeping in through the [PARTIALLY CENSORED]eball!'

'Bob: It's a storm. What do you expect.'

I hopped on the walkway, and walked over to where the Celestial Tower was.

'Dane: I wonder if the top of the tower's wet.'

'OMGBWAT: Of course not! All the blimps with buckets are below it!'

I walked up and onto the second walkway, and to the right, when the camera shifted to a nearby house.

'Thorn: Wot?'

Then an old lady appeared and stepped outside. 'My, my… that …cuddlemon has come again, too.'

'Cheesecurl: Cuddlemon?'

'Bob: *facepalms*'

I took a step, and an '!' appeared over her. 'Now, now, child, don't you go heading into the tall grass. That cuddlemon might be too much for you. We'll catch cold standin' around talkin' in this wind and rain. It's not much, but stay in my home a spell.'

'Sinnai: A spell?'

'Dane: A period of time. Old fashioned expression.

We walked inside, and sat down at the table. 'Even a young 'un like yourself will catch cold if you get soaked by that cold rain. Sit right down and have some soup, why won't you?'

A Yes/No box appeared onscreen.

'Cheesecurl: It's soup. From an old lady. Can you refuse?'

"I guess not." I said, and pressed Yes.

'That's nice. A young 'un like you shouldn't be shy.'

The lady walked over to the counter and began to tell a story. 'In the YouKnowWhat region, you see, there is a pokemon called Tomatous that causes windstorms. It flies around the region while letting loose winds and pounding rain.

"Tomato-us? Seriously?"

'Dane: I think that that's not the real name.'

She came back over.

'Have some soup now, dear. It'll warm you up.'

After a second, a purple music note emote appeared over my head.

'A soup jam-packed with healthy vegetables. It's delicious!' read the text box.

'The heavy rain is ruining the crops I've worked so hard to raise! What a troublesome pokemon! I thought I would try to catch it, but it flies around so fast that even when I thought I'd found it, it just flew away. In one day, it can make a lap around the entire unova region. It shows up here in the evenings!'

"Well, we got a roaming legendary!" I said, stepping out the door and getting an ! above my head. Enthralled by the powers of cutscene, I walked to the right… and a white and green …cuddle…mon appeared in front of me.

It looked like an angry green Truppish on a cloud, with white hair and a mustache. And a green octopus tail.

'Someone called me Tomatous? Are you this perso- aaah! Evil cuddleballs! Fly away! Sorry about the storm!'

"Cuddleballs?" I chuckled.

The cuddlemon probably not named Tomatous flew away, and the storm began to clear.

'Dane: Tomatous! I think that it's a little funny when it's not you.'

'Bob: …yeah… Anyway, let's head back to Route 10. [Idunwana] ?'

'520: ?'

"Let's fly." I said, pressing …cuddlemon, then Idunwana, then Fly to Fly to Opaque City. A stop to the Cuddlemon Center later, I passed through the gate to Route 10.

Route 10 consisted of one large section to the right, with some tall tall grass upwards. It also had a harmonica tune reminiscent of mothers and bones for music, and it was AWESOME.

The gate emerged in a little outcropping, with some pokeballs in a patch of grass with a trainer. The trainer had a Skinrafty, and a Meanfoo , which were both taken down by Bob and Dane at the expense of a Hyper Potion. This caused Bob to grow to level 42, and Dane to level 43.

'Dane: Did you see that? I fainted it in one hit!'

I switched Cheesecurl and Sinnai into the front of the party and walked to the right, up the stairs, and came to a river. The river looked like it was reflecting light beautifully, flowers adorned the path I was on, and trees in places inaccessible made it look like the landscaper pulled out all the stops here. It was almost beautiful.

'Bob: …wow. The designers outdid themselves here. This place looks like it could be almost real.'

'OMGBWAT: Yeah! It looks like a Mamoswineub ran all over the place and then a Shayman ran all over it after! And then some Snivies came and did other stuff!'

'Cheesecurl: …I'm not going to ask.'

'Bob: Don't bother. We're almost out here; save it for the next chapter.'

'Cheesecurl: That was a rhetorical question!

**For future reference, this chapter was written on 4/1/2012.**

**I**

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	63. Checking Into Victory

**A/N: XD XD XD That was the best April Fools prank I've ever done. AND IT FOOLED YOU ALL! I even got a message that was like 'I HATE U! PUT THE NAMES BACK NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWW!'.**

**No, the names aren't changing. Only for that chapter.**

'Samurott: YES! YES! Finally!'

'Lampent: I don't know… I kinda liked the name Sinnai.'

'Pansear: You didn't get named Bob. Your point is invalidated.'

Chapter 63: Checking Into Victory

'Cheren: Stop! Kyle!'

'Stoutland: Hey! That's no way to start a chapter! You have to describe the area around us!'

**Fine. **I was right at the end of the bridge where all the awesome stuff was, when Cheren …and Bianca walked over the bridge.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Her too?'

'Bianca: Drayden and Professor Juniper told me. You're heading for the Pokemon League, right?'

A yes/ no box appeared, and I pressed Yes.

'Cheren: Since it's Alder… Since it's the Champion, I think it will be all right. Worst-case scenario… you'll be battling Team Plasma's boss. N. I need to know if you can handle it!'

'Pansear: Do…you…think…that's….foreshadowing?'

"No, of course not. It's not like Ghetsis is going to be battled in some huge hall.'

'Samurott: Wait! How do you know tha- oh, the spoiler- nevermind,'

Cheren's method of testing me was to battle, so pillars of water and lava collided again for the most definitely last time, rival battle music started up, and an Unfezant appeared versus Samurott.

'Samurott: Oh. Hopefully not another fast talker.'

'Unfezant: Hehe. HIwhatareyoudoingamI annoyingyouohno Ihavetotakebreath-'

'Samurott: YOU DO NOT TAUNT ME. DIIIIE!'

A Surf took out about two thirds of its HP, and the next one was Detected and avoided. The next one, however, delivered the fainting blow and got Samurott to level 43.

'Lampent: A Serperior is coming in? What's that?'

"I don't know. Why don't you find out?" I said, switching in Lampent to face a giant snake.

The snake had a lime green body, with gold and green markings. At the top it split into two like a hood to reveal a Snivy-ish head.

'Serperior: Hello, little pest. Would you like to be fainted?'

'Lampent: Arrogant [MILD CENSOR]! '

'Pansear: …you…know…you…need…to…work…on…comebacks…'

'Stoutland: Or evolve. Lampents can evolve into chandeliers of doom, you know.'

A couple of Leaf Blades brought Lampent into the yellow health, but type advantages pulled through to get Lampent a lot of EXP.

'Lampent: Take that, smug leaf snake dude!'

'Samurott: I call taking Liepard down.'

Next up was Simipour, a water type, so Ferrothorn got sent out against the water monkey.

'Ferrothorn: Wot?'

The Simipour tried to use Scald, a water move which inexplicably burns, but it did very little damage. A Power Whip was far more effective, and two got Ferrothorn to level 43.

'Samurott: Liepard's next!'

Samurott got sent in, and immediately used Surf.

'Liepard: Ow! Why do you not like my relentless chatter? It's not annoying, it's informative-'

Samurott used Aqua Jet! The foe's Liepard fainted! Kyle defeated PKMN trainer Cheren!

'Samurott: That was totally worth it.'

I returned to the overworld to find Cheren healing me. 'Right now, there's nothing I can do to compete with you. If there is anything I can do to help in the battle with N, just say so…'

'Pansear: Wow. I'm in awe of the Cheren's character development.'

'Bianca: There's not much I can do, but take these!'

'Kyle obtained MAX REVIVES!' read the text box.

"Heck yeah! And more then one!"

'Bianca: Still, it's kind of funny. Everyone's so different.'

'Cheren: Funny? At a time like this…'

Bianca turned to Cheren. 'Come on. Could you just smile for once? Taking everything so seriously all the time isn't going to change anything. You know… since we've met out Pokemon and walked the same roads together… a lot has happened… We've all changed a lot!'

'Stoutland: Read that as: Moral wisdom blah blah.'

'Cheren: …So that's what you mean. …you are right that we're all different and we should do the things that we can do. There are as many truths and ideals as there are people and pokemon.'

Cheren turned to me. 'The most important thing is that we help one another out. That's why people and pokemon are always by each other's side. That's what I've come to think lately…'

'Samurott: Wow… that's moving. '

'Pansear: Amazing what we've come from THANK YOU BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE! , isn't it.'

'Stoutland: There's also A WINNER IS YOU and IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE. TAKE THIS. But not all in the same game. The story is amazing.'

'Lampent: Oh, oh, oh! And there's also NYAN NYAN NYANYA!'

'Stoutland: …That's not a game.'

'Lampent: What about PRESS START?'

'Cheren: Kyle! If anything happens to you or Alder, I will do everything I can to help you. That's why I have to keep training and get stronger. Just… don't be reckless, OK?'

"I don't think I can be reckless here." I said, and Cheren ran offscreen.

'Bianca: …He's gone…. Kyle! Me too! I'll do my best to help if I can! So… um… I wish I could say something, like, totally inspiring, you know? Umm… OK… Best foot forward!'

Bianca walked off and I took the time to save.

'Pansear: I see why the fanbase loves Bianca.'

"Anyway. Let's head right!"

We headed right, past a rocky outcropping, and saw the path end at a building. What I also saw was another trainer see me.

Three faintings,two level ups, and a Hyper Potion later, I headed up and arrived at the Badge Check Gates.

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The badge check gates were a big imposing building… that led to an open plain with no music but rustling wind. At the end was a HUMONGOUSLY BIG DOOR guarded by one guy.

'Pansear: …?'

I walked up to the door and he spoke up. 'Halt! Unqualified ones shall not pass! The key to open this closed gate is the Trio Badge!'

The camera shifted down to give me a view of the door, and with a clank it opened.

'Oh, holder of the Trio Badge! Challenge all that you face!'

And with that, I walked through the door and into a little walkway with two torches, a bridge over a river, and grass on the ground. And drums began playing.

'Stoutland: Variable music? HECK YES! Game Freak, you are awesome.'

'Samurott: We established that a while back.'

At the end of the room was another gate, showing a rectangle on it.

'Halt! The key to open this gate is the Basic badge!'

This door opened as well with a less audible clank. 'Oh, holder of the Basic Badge! Show the knowledge you've obtained!'

And so I stepped through into a maze of grass.

'Lampent: Lame. I mean, who puts just grass in a room?'

"I don't know. The room is just basi- Hey! The rooms match the badges!'

'Pansear: Wow. Such an amazing discovery.'

I approached the next gate, which opened because I had the Insect badge. 'Oh, holder of the Insect Badge! Fight valiantly like an insect!'

"Okay! I'll flip on my back and flail around!"

I walked into the next room, which had a spider or something with a stairway going over it leading to the next gate: the Bolt Badge gate. As it opened, I heard a little bit of 8-bit music play over the drums.

'Stoutland: Yes! Variable music GO!'

'Oh, holder of the Bolt Badge! Unfurl a shocking battle!'

'Ferrothorn: While fighting like an insect? Wot's with these guys?'

The next room had a lot of electrical tubes lighting up the walkway. Awesomely.

"That's cool."

'Stoutland: It's AWESOME!'

The next gate was the Quake Badge, and it opened as well to my… step? Button press?

'Oh, holder of the Quake Badge! Make your foe's hearts tremble!'

I stepped through to a ravine, a little path flanked by walls on both sides.. The bottom part had gems visible, and as I walked through I thought I heard some church bells faintly play. It wasn't as cool as the other ones, but I headed through anyway to the next gate: the Jet Badge gate.

'Oh, holder of the Jet Badge! Blast ahead with tremendous force!'

'Unfezant: You can use jelly to cause electric shocks and bug farts to make your opponents fear your blast!'

'Stoutland: …yeah.'

The next room had a gulf with two ledges on other sides… but no bridge. Some trumpets also began playing a melody faintly, as badd.

'Pansear: What? And why are those pieces of rock flying up?'

'Samurott: …try stepping forward.'

'Stoutland: Maybe he'll fall!'

I stepped forward… and began to bob up and down. IN THE AIR. I WAS WALKING ON AIR.

"Okay, that makes up for all the lameness. That is awesome!" I said.

'Lampent: Whoa, cool!'

Lampent popped out of his pokeball and began to walk around floating too.

'Unfezant: Awesome! Me try!'

Unfezant suddenly flew up from her spot behind me.

'520: !'

'Unfezant: Awesome! Flying! YAAAAY! With Snivies!'

'Pansear: …next room, please. I'm starting to get a bit nauseous here.'

"Um…okay. Unfezant, just fold your wings and plummet downward." I said, and walked to the next gate. It opened, revealing icy ground. 'Oh, holder of the Freeze Badge! Show the sharp end of an icicle!'

In the next room, louder church bells began to play ominously. The ice was periodically blocked with icy spikes, making an ice puzzle.

Solvable by going up, right, up, left, and up to the final gate.

'Oh, holder of the Legend Badge! Pass through Victory Road, which lies beyond here, and head for the Pokemon League. Prove that you, too, can be a legend!'

'Samurott: Yeah! I'm all inspired! Let's do this!'

I passed through, and a synth started playing a melody, pretty much completing the awesome song.

'Stoutland: Heck yeah! THIS IS THE BEST MUSIC EVER!'

'Lampent: Come on! Celestial tower is better!'

'Pansear: And the credits.'

'Samurott: YOU HAVE LISTENED TO THE CREDITS?'

'Pansear: Interlude.'

At the end of the room there wasn't a gate, though. Instead, there was a couple of pillars and a tunnel. When I stepped through…

I arrived in Victory Road, awesome music in full swing.


	64. The Road of Victory

**A/N: Yeah, Virizion would be nice to catch, but I don't think I have enough time. And I know that Lampent evolves.**

'Samurott: What? We totally have enough time!'

**I mean, it would kind of interrupt the flow of events here. I mean, flying down to Pinwheel Forest just doesn't fit about now.**

'Samurott: …but isn't the third on-'

'Stoutland: It's Terrakion.'

'Samurott: Isn't Terrakion somewhere around here? We can't have two out of a trio! …(that you can get all of)'

'Pansear: It is? And yes we can. Now come on and start the chapter.'

Chapter 64: The Road of Victory

Unova's Victory road was not a cave, like every single other one in existence. This one appeared to be built right into a cliff, judging by the fact that there was a mountain with entrance holes carved into it in front of me.

So I walked into the hole.

Inside the hole… was just a cave. So I walked up, and found a metal ant.

'Samurott: Whoa! Big…metal…ant! Seriously, that's the only way to describe it.'

'Durant: Of courssse I'm a metal ant! Itssss obviousss from my name, no?'

'Pansear: …and of course, we have fire-breathing lizards to prey on them.'

'Durant: Do not ssspeak of the Heatmor!'

'Lampent: Oh, COME ON! Why does it always work for him? Does he have snivies or something?'

"Heatmor… fire? A steel and and a fire predator… seems to work." I said.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? How would that wor- ohh, fire beats steel.'

'Durant: Now, are you going to do sssomething for zzeh duel?'

Samurott used Surf! Samurott totally kicked the equivalent of Durant bottom with a one hit KO! Somewhere, Emo used Fume About Others Using Your Phrases!

'Pansear: Fume? Really? I'm not going to ask.'

I headed upwards from there and saw that the cave contained… a lake. And some stairs. And a wild Deino.

"Wh- hey, cool!"

A quick faint leter, I continued exploring the cave. The body of water led upwards, while stairs led to the right. So I called out Samurott to Surf. At the end of the water… was a MAX REVIVE.

With Max Revive in hand, I surfed back down and entered the stairs.

'Stoutland: Wait…THE WATER FALLS FROM THE CEILING AND SPLASHES ON THE GROUND? GAME FREAK YOU'RE AWESOME!'

'Samurott: I think that was almost Unfezant-worthy.'

'Unfezant: NO ONE can match my cheesiness!'

The next level consisted of an upper part blocked by a Strength rock, and a lower part blocked by a Trainer… and a Boldore blocking the trainer.

After that was taken care of (read: ran from), I fought the Trainer. She had a Whimsicott and a Zebstrika, and both of them were level 45. From there, I went outside and left… to find the camera shift above me to two people.

'Listen. You can slide down the cliffs here! Watch me!'

He then… slid down. 'Now, you try it!'

'Aiiieee!' said the second person in a big spiky text box. 'That's a long way down! I can't do it!'

The camera shifted over to me, and I could see that there was a gap in the fence.

"So. Let's slide!" I said, walking down the ledge and sliding to the right of the entrance.

'Lampent: Wheee! That was fun! Hey, is that ground cracked?'

'Durant: Humansss… can you please not ssstep on our colony?'

"Um… sorry?"

'Pansear: Colony?'

I walked to the right… and a Vullaby popped out.

'Other Durant: Sssorry… Vullaby! Come ba-'

'Vullaby: A HEATMOR!'

'Durants: EVERYONE IN!'

'The wild Vullaby fled!' read the textbox, returning to the overworld… only for a red eggplant with arms and legs to appear. And a brownish tip with an eye. And a tail that looked like painted spaghetti.

'A wild Heatmor appeared!'

'Samurott: …what…? Is that possible?'

'Stoutland: We're talking. It's possible. And besides, roaming legends do that. Add that to a cutscene, along with whatever the game uses to show you how to catch a pokemon, and there.'

Samurott used Surf, and the Heatmor fainted, enabling me to head to another hole and go in.

'Durant: We need to go train some more.'

'Durant: But we can't do that; the Queen won't let us. You know how she is.'

'Lampent: Hey! Start a petition or something.'

'Durant: …that could work… All in favor of establishing a democracy, say I.'

'Durant: You can't do that! We don't have Headbook yet!'

# # # _ _ _ # # #

# # / * * * \ # #

# # | * * * | # #

# # | * * * | # #

The next cave area was a path around a little lake…so I surfed across and went up some stairs. Room clear. The next room had a door outside, and some stairs leading up.

'Lampent: Stairs!'

'Unfezant: The one that's more to the right! The wall! Use an AR code!'

'Pansear: …stairs?'

'Stoutland: …aha. The door leads to the entrance. Stairs.'

'Samurott: Where'd you get that from?'

'Stoutland: I explored. What do you think I do in between times when Kyle plays?'

"Wait… but I leave the DS off, right?"

'Stoutland: Most of the time, no.'

The stairs had another door, blocked by both a Durant and a trainer with a Stoutland and a Scolipede. The Durant took down Lampent, and for the battle Ferrothorn came in and defeated both, at the expense of a Hyper Potion. For this he grew to level 45.

'Lampent: Hey…was…that…guy's…name…Dwayne? He's….also…like… an…awesome…basketball…player!'

'Stoutland: I wonder if we're the only ones to catch that. Hmm, maybe more trainers here have famous names.'

I switched Samurott in front, headed outside, and marveled. The area was a big stretch of land that was cut into the side of the mountain. It was:

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/ _/\_/\_ |

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / |

Which meant that there were two doors…past the guy that didn't want to slide down. Heehee.

After a moment's hesitation, I walked over some cracked ground and pressed up to head into the leftmost door.

'Unfezant:Hey! Right is right!'

'520: …'

Inside the cave, there was a fighter running in circles. Past him was a ledge and a pokeball, and some stairs… but while I was looking the fighter saw me.

'Pansear: His…name…is …Tyrone… anyone…know…who…that…is?'

'Unfezant: I think I heard it on TV. And there were moose there too. And a Piplup in a hat. It was awesome!'

'Pansear: They…have…moose…on…TV? What…next…a…show…about…a…school…singing…group?'

The fighter had three pokemon. The first one, a Scrafty tried to use Hi Jump Kick… but failed, doing about half his HP bar in damage.

'Scrafty: Owwie… …. Ah! You didn't hear me say that! Please! Don't tell anyone!'

'Stoutland: (Heehee)'

That opened up Ferrothorn for a Gyro Ball, causing one faint. Next up came a Mienfoo, a yellow Purrloin on two legs. Its arms and legs were red and gave the impression of a cloak. No, it looked like a humanoid cat wearing a cloak.

'

And one Fly from Golurk fainted it.

Tyrone's last pokemon was a Conkeldurr. It looked for all the world like an aged muppet, with a big red nose, faded brown skin, and two huge hands… on top of PILLARS OF STONE.

'Stoutland: You know, it evolves from Gurdurr. Gurdurr has an I beam… where does it get the rocks from? Does it cough them up?'

'Conkeldurr: I do no such thing. I extrude them from my hands. Therefore, they're at the maximum capacity to CRUSH YOU!'

'520: ….?'

Yet for all of its imposing-looking might, two Flys brought the Conkeldurr down and got Golurk to level 44.

On the next floor there was… a doctor!

"Yeah!"

'Pansear: Finally…heal…me…'

'Samurott: Logan… is that a name on a hospital show?'

'Stoutland: Other than a wolverine, I don't think so.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot?'

'Stoutland: Wolverine. Look it up.'

The doctor had a Gothorita, and a Leavanny. Both of them were defeated by Stoutland, and upon defeat everyone got healed.

'Pansear: Oh, good.'

A wild Durant appeared!

'Durant: Essscussse me.'

The Durant used Dig! Pansear Ran from the battle!

The rest of the room was a path leading to some stairs, and a Strength rock that, when pushed, let me go right through next time I came here. I went up the stairs… to find a path split up and down.

'Unfezant: Up! It's righter!'

'Pansear: I don't care.'

"Anyone else? Okay then. Up."

'Samurott: I wanted down! '

'520: …*shrugs*'

I headed up the stairs and emerged in a… area. A trainer passed back and forth under me, and a Strength rock hole blocked the way up. Below the trainer were two holes leading outside, on his left and right.

The trainer himself was named David, and he had a Klang, a Darmanitan, and a Seismitoad. A Klang was a Klink with the bottommost gear attached to another, bigger gear, but it was still steel-type and fainted against Pansear's Fire Blast. The next two pokemon, when crushed, got Samurott to level 45.

'Unfezant: Right!'

I went in the right hole… and saw a pokeball to my left, blocked by a fence. And a slide wall.

So I slid down… to find two more slide walls. I slid down the right one… and arrived on a ledge with a door in it.

'Lampent: Wheee!'

This cave had stairs going upwards, again, and again. There was also a guy, but I avoided him.

'Stoutland: Hey! We need to get his name!'

"Wha-"

Stoutland popped out of her pokeball, ran over to the guy… and an ! appeared over his head.

"Hey! You're low on HP! I avoideded him for a reason!" I said.

'Samurott: Martell… who's that?'

'Pansear: Sounds German. If you're asking about the big blue spiky rock I'm battling, that's a Gigalith.'

Because Pansear was at low HP, I sent in Stoutland. Stoutland used Rock Smash… but didn't do much damage and fainted. Samurott switched in and used Surf, letting Pansear grow to level 43 and learn Crunch, a stronger version of bite.

'Pansear: It takes me this long to get Crunch? Really, Game Freak?'

Next up was an Eelektross, a blue eel with yellow spots, beige fin-like feet, and a big sucker mouth.

'Lampent: Ew…'

Ferrothorn used Power Whip repeatedly to take it down, ending the battle. However, another Durant appeared, and fainted Pansear.

Luckily, no other battles stood between me and stairs, so I climbed it… to find more stairs going down.

"Hmmm…"

'Samurott: But there's a-'

'Stoutland: Don't.'

I walked down… to find myself able to push that Strength rock from before, opening another path to the left... which led to a cave.

And in the cave were a couple of durants… and a brownish pokemon.

'Stoutland: It's Terrakion!'

**I**

**\|/**


	65. Terrakion Trouble

'Stoutland: Waitwaitwait! We have breaking news! Black 2 and White 2 are set two years after B and W, and non-Unovian pokemon are going to make an appearance, including Riolu... and Psyduck. And the Misaltron area is all frozen! Thank you for listening, and now on with the chapter.'

Chapter 65: Terrakion Trouble

'Ferrothorn: Wot? You are telling me that THAT big… thing is a legendary pokemon?'

'520: ! '

'Unfezant: Yeah! Everyone knows that every single rumor in existence is true! I heard there's even an agency that spreads these rumors so that some people know about it!'

'Terrakion: 'nother tourist? Go 'way, I'm teachin' these fellas 'ere to fight.'

'Durant: Wait… that pheremone… Itsss YOU! Hello.'

'Lampent: Whoa! You actually listened to me? Yay! Yay! Yay!'

"…Well… I think I'm here to battle you and catch you."

'Terrakion: …a battle? I'm busy 'ere, with these young 'uns. But Catchin'? No way. And 'sides, how'd ye' find your way 'ere?'

This was kind of a blow to me. Everywhere, pokemon were available for catching because they had nothing else to do. But Terrakion… he was BUSY. I almost didn't want to catch him.

'Samurott: (His accent is so a rip off of the Beartic's one. Or Clay's.)'

'Other Durant: A batttle… that ssseemsss good…'

'Yet another Durant: Yesss… Let usss watch the sssparring!'

'Terrakion: … … …'kay. I 'ccept. Durants, pay 'ttention to th' moves we use.'

And with that… a wild Mienfoo appeared.

After that was taken care of, and a Hyper was used on Lampent, the screen flashed, a sword cut the screen into glass, and the battle began.

'Other Durant: Durant… you ssshouldn't have touched the sssword button.'

'Durant: It was inviting me to presss it.'

'Pansear: But…you've…broken…the…overworld…now…. …Oh…no.'

'Unfezant: WHAAAT? NOOOO THE BLIMPS ARE GONE? NOOOOOOOOOO!'

With the battle underway, I could see that Terrakion was like a grey bull. He had tan boot-shaped things on his feet, and the same color underbelly. He also had black horns like a Haxorus's but cut off a bit, and two black ridges went down his back.

And the music from Cobalion's battle played too.

'Other Durant: Ssseriously… ssstop touching ssstuff!'

'Durant: Hey… theresss a big green dragon here… with a tag of Magic… wait. What did you sssay?'

'Terrakion: … …pay 'attention, ye' two.'

"…anyway. To battle!"

Lampent started off with Will-o-wisp, while Terrakion used Sacred Sword… doing no damage.

'Terrakion: See 'here? Some moves 'ont affect some types.'

'Lampent: Yes, but I got you burned!'

Next Terrakion used Helping Hand… but it failed!

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Why'd you use that then?'

'Terrakion: Wh'... I 'ave to forget that.'

'Samurott: Fail.'

Next was another Flame Burst… and another failed helping hand.

An after that was Rock Slide, shaving off about two thirds of Lampent's HP. Lampent switched out, to be replaced with Golurk. Two more Helping hands later, Terrakion's burn got to it… and he fainted.

'Lampent: Yay! I'm level 44 now!'

'Samurott: That was kind of anticlimactic.

And then the overworld returned.

'Terrakion: Yea… you' got me… Durants… did ye' learn anything from that?'

'Durant: That if you presss buttonsss they do ssstuff?'

'Other Durant: That type advantagesss matter?'

'Yet another Durant: To forget ussselesss moves?'

'Pansear: …to…not…fail…so…bad?'

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With my mind still kind of confused, I exited Terrakion's cave, the Trial Chamber, and headed back up to the stairway room… to find a door which led outside. I emerged next to a big gate, and at the top of the mountain.

I had conquered Victory Road.

*INSERT CHAPTER BREAK HERE*

Inside the gate, the camera descended from the sky to show a temple in the distance, along with four pillars. The music also changed to something foreboding, perfect for the Elite Four.

'Samurott: Okay, everyone. We've made it this far by strength, pure awesomeness, and making 'other' people laugh. It's time… for a motivation talk. The Elite Four in a pokemon game are four ridiculously hard gym trainers; they specialize in a type. In order to get past them, we have to do what we always do. But first, there is an important step. We must heal and stock up on Hyper Potions in the room to the left. Once this is done, we have all that we need for an all-out assault on the pokemon league, culminating in a boss fight with N and-'

The sound of pokemon healing played from a nearby building.

'Samurott: Get back here! I wasn't done!'

"It's OK. So, 10 Ultra balls to catch Reshiram, 10 Hyper Potions, Oh hey, revives! Five of those, and… some timer balls. Oh, and maybe ten poke balls so I can get him in a Premier. Wow, I have forty pokeballs. I'll sell thirty of those, and I'm good."

I ran outside, bumping into Samurott, and ran over to where a guy blocked an entrance.

'Once you start your challenge, you cannot leave until you win against all or lose! Do you want to go in?'

'Unfezant: Of course! Let's do this!'

I pressed Yes and walked into the Elite Four building.

It wasn't a building so much as four roads with a statue in the middle. When I pressed A on it, it revealed that 'There are words written on the statue: "Four great warriors form this League. To the southwest is one who does not fear the Ghost type. To the southeast is one who channels the power of the Fighting type. To the northwest is one who mastered the Dark type. To the northeast is one who knows the mind of the Psychic type."' It read.

"So… let's do Ghost first" I said, walking into the leftmost building.

'Stoutland: Whoa! Lightning to the beat of the music! Cool!'

I walked up and saw a staircase, and some floating books. I walked up some more, and weird blue things came, made rings around me, and began FLOATING ME UP THE STAIRCASE.

'Samurott: AWESOME.'

'Unfezant: I'm so dizzy I could eat some cheese now.'

It lead up the stairs to a platform, upon which stood a woman, a purple Lampent-like flame, and a couple of books.

'Lampent: Wait, he said I can evolve, right? Can we evolve me now?'

'Stoutland: …yeah, with a Dusk Stone. But not now, the chapter's ending.'

**I**

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	66. The ENEMY strikes back!

'Samurott: More people who review by bringing in their own pokemon to fill up space? Really?'

'Pansear: I don't know. Maybe they think that zzzp2 likes it.'

'Samurott: I kinda like it, it's almost ridiculous. Especially SGWAS. That's just pure randomness.'

'Pansear: …I don't know, I think reviewing should be just constructive. Although that's true, my Amplifier pretty much has been mentioned once and that's it. Hint hint.'

'Stoutland: You know, I think we're due for another reference chapter.'

'Samurott: Yeah… we really need to do a Zelda one. Then a final fantasy one I guess… then… uh… sonic? How would a sonic chapter work? Or Harry Potter, that's kind of a classic.'

'Pansear: I don't know, maybe for the pokeathlon if there's a HGSS sequel? I remember there being a running minigame. But already? Since the last one it's been… 23 chapters. Yeah. Let's do this.'

Chapter 65: The ENEMY strikes back!

'Pansear: Well, that's decided. Are we going to evolve Lampent or are we going to battle the ghost person?'

"What's decided? And I kind of want to battle the person."

'Lampent: Can I evolve first? It's a stone, right? Do we have one?'

"I don't think so… let's just battle." I said, pressing A on the person.

'Lampent: HEY! I wanted to evolve! What if everyone else was fainted and I'm the only one left and because I didn't evolve I endangered the mission and thought that 'I should have evolved'?'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's a mission?'

'Samurott: Do you really think that's going to happen?'

'Pansear: Depends on whether we can wait four… parts or not. But probably not. Anyway. On with the battle.'

'"Eyes brimming with dark flame, this man rejected everything other than himself to bring about the one singular justice…"' The elite four member said, almost as if she was quoting from a book.

'Stoutland: That sounds like she's quoting from book on N.'

'That's part of a novel I'm writing. I was inspired by the challenger that was just here, and somehow I got a little sad… Excuse me. You're a challenger, right? I'm the Elite Four's Ghost-type pokemon user, Shauntal, and I shall be your opponent.'

'Stoutland: Hey, a ghost writer! (…I'm stuck on a dog pun. Can you help?)'

'Unfezant: Use the boost! (C )'

'Samurott: Not really… but N came through here? Yay for plot.'

The music began pumping out a beat, the screen flashed, pillars of electricity (what?) carried our images, a VS appeared, and the battle began.

Shauntal's first pokemon was a Cofagrigus, a big coffin. It also had shadow-like hands and looked like a ghost possessing a coffin. At the same time, a synthesizer began playing a tune that was simultaneously creepy and awesome.

'Stoutland: Oh YES! YES! I love this music!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? A big ….box… pokemon? With arms? Wot?'

"anyway- wait it's level 48? Do I have any X special defends? No? Use Will-o-wisp."

'Samurott: You want to do this orally?'

"What's that?"

'Samurott: By saying it.'

"I just think it would be cooler."

Will-o-wisp hit, but Cofagrigus' Shadow Ball was a 1-hit KO. Next, Pansear got sent in so I could Revive Lampent. His Crunch did a sizeable bit of damage before he fainted, and Lampent got sent out again.

'Cofagrigus: Wait, did I not faint you already? My force was strong enough to do that!'

"Yes, you did. Now, Lampent, use Hex!" I said. Because of the burn, Hex did double damage. And it was super effective. And it fainted the Cofagrigus.

'Pansear: …yay…'

Next up was a Golurk, so Lampent stayed in…before switching to Stoutland to avoid a Shadow Punch.

'520: ! … :o'

'666: I thought seeing_Golett[520] = false… but I will defeat you!'

'Stoutland: While I enjoy banter, seriously, we're in a battle here. You can dispense with any pleasantries you may have.'

'520: : l *cheers on Stoutland*'

'666: … lookup (dictionary, "pleasantries") ...'

Golurk used Earthquake, knocking out a sizeable chunk of Stoutland's HP. Stoutland then used Work Up…while Golurk laid a Curse on Stoutland. Stoutland then used a boosted Crunch, getting a level up for her efforts.

'666: NOOOOOOOooooooooo…ow.'

'Samurott: Ow? Really? True, you fall through the floor, but it's an animation. And that wouldn't hurt.'

For the next pokemon, Golurk got sent out against a weird chandelier pokemon. It had two black arms which had two flame holders each, each holding a purple flame like Lampent's. The main body was a glass-like sphere with two yellow eyes and another flame on top of it.

Its name was Chandelure.

'Lampent: Hey! I think I could have evolved into that… … hey… … I think… I remember you…'

'Chandelure: What?'

'Ferrothorn: Wot?'

'Lampent: YOU!'

'520: ?'

'Lampent: No, not you. YOU! I think that guy's my father!'

'Samurott: …have we really ran out of ideas?'

'Chandelure: What? Crazy child, we're in the middle of a battle now. Go away.'

'Lampent: No….wrong attitude… …you know what? Forget I spoke. Please. Just forget it. Just make sure to punch him real hard, Golurk dude.'

'Samurott: …again. I think that entire personality was just for the father line.'

'Stoutland: Well, what do you expect?'

Chandelure started with Shadow Ball…fainting Golurk. Go! Samurott! Samurott used Surf! Samurott did uber haxor leet surf trikz! Shauntal used a Full Restore! Samurott used Surf! Shauntal used ANOTHER Full Restore! Samurott used Surf! Samurott used Aqua Jet! Chandelure fainted! Samurott grew to level 46! Unfezant does not like the exclamation points! Unfezant used Nasty Plot about copying Waluigi time! Unfezant grew a level to level 38 or whatever!

"Next… Jellicent? I guess a water type? Go, Ferrothorn."

'It seems this is the beginning of my final chapter' said Shauntal, proving that this jelly was the last pokemon. It had a big pink sac for a head, with little cloud things around it. Below its oversized head it had two flippers and a group of tentacles looking like a dress.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? That's weirder then the coffin!'

Ferrothorn started out with a Curse, and one Power Whip got Ferrothorn to level 46, winning the battle.

'Samurott: And THAT is how to take care of ghosts when you don't have a vacuum: pound them with elemental attacks out of nowhere until they faint.'

Back on the overworld, I noticed a shining green portal where there wasn't before. I stepped into it…to be teleported back to the main room, with a hole in the ground shining.

"Now. Psychic, dark, or fighting?"

'Unfezant: We're no match against the power of the dark type! We have to ignite Stoutland's evolutionary reactor first!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Doesn't it do neutral damage to all us?'

'Samurott: I'm counting the dark side puns. One.'

'Pansear: …or…we…could…just…do…psychic…and…have…Lampent…power…through…them.'

'Stoutland: Sounds good. Kyle? Do Psychic, please.'

"Okay…" I said pressing A on the statue again to read it. After reaffirming that the Psychic person was second to the right, I walked through.

This room consisted of a yellow levitating path leading upwards. When I stepped up, a whitish yellow light surrounded me, and just like before, carried me up to… a tent?

Which then opened to reveal someone in a bed?

Who walked out of bed and in front of me?

'Ferrothorn: ….seems… like… wot…'

I walked up, and saved. "Oh yeah." And heal Lampent and use a Max Revive on Golurk too. After all that, I pressed A on her.

'Who are you? How impudent are you to disturb my sleep. Hmf… You appear to possess a combination of strength and kindness. Very well. Make your best effort not to bore me with a yawn-inducing battle. Clear?' She said, causing pillars of electricity to appear, the epic music to start, and the battle against Caitlin to begin.

"Hey… I think I know the name…" I said.

'Samurott: There's no chance she was in another game and you're not just having déjà vu. None.'

First up was a Reuniclus, a chibi white duosion surrounded by green gel. And it had a couple of rocks in it surrounded by gel for arms.

'Pansear: …standard…sarcastic…answer…here…'

Lampent used Hex… and then Reuniclus used Psychic, fainting Lampent in one hit. That was bad.

"I'm going to warn you now. I'm going to do something."

'Pansear: I…have…a…bad…feeling….about….this…'

'Ferrothorn: Wot is it?'

I shifted my thumb about an inch downwards and pressed the button there, causing the screen to go white.

I had saved before, and intended to use that to rectify a mistake.

**I**

**\|/**


	67. Rapping the Rest

'Lampent: Yay! Thank you guys for both the compliment and the master ball! There's only one thing: …who are you?'

'Unfezant: They're all pokemon trainers and a Pidove named Steve! Or Chase! Or Hippopottomonstrositidon!'

'Lampent: Steve? And Hippo potto thingy? None of those work. You're bad at naming.'

'Unfezant: Everyone in my line is! We take pride in having the worstly named blimps of all time!'

Chapter 67: Rapping The Rest

I had saved before fighting Caitlin, and really, everywhere I went.

The reason for this was that I can go back to the most recently saved game by resetting it.

I watched as the screen turned from white to black, and from there displayed a star falling down - A -Reshiram's sprite - A - the menu - A – the overworld.

'Ferrothorn: ….seems… like… wot…'

"Lampent? I've come from the future to evolve you."

'Unfezant: Wait, future! THAT'S SO DERANGED! Did you see blimps that are other blimps? Or living cars? Or the Mankeys that inevitably took over the world? THAT IS SO- '

'Unfezant fainted!'

'Samurott: …? Oh, saves. Anyway, let's evolve Lampent then.'

'Pansear: Why, though? Did Lampent fail miserably against Caitlin?'

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." I said, pressing bag, then scrolling down to Dusk Stone and pressing Use. I tapped Lampent, and he appeared in a tube of orange light.

'Lampent: Ow! Hey! Why'd you throw this at me?'

Lampent gave off a flash of light, and the evolution music began with Lampent's body being cut up.

'Lampent: Wait, I failed? Nonowait!'

This then swirled around, and recombined in a flash of light… to reveal a more-powerful Chandelure.

'Chandelure: Woohoo! I evolved! …but now I feel hungry.'

'Samurott: Well, the end of the non-endgame is coming up. Can it wait until then?'

'Pansear: But that's in around two weeks. I think we should just battle her.'

"Well, first I save again… but OK, let's do this." I said, saving, giving Chandelure an Expert Belt, and then pressing A to do that.

'Who are you? How impudent are you to disturb my sleep. Hmf… You appear to possess a combination of strength and kindness. Very well. Make your best effort not to bore me with a yawn-inducing battle. Clear?' she said, causing pillars of electricity to appear, the epic music to start, and the battle against Caitlin to begin…again.

Just like before, Caitlin sent out her Reuniclus. This time, though, I sent out a fully evolved Chandelure.

'Unfezant: Remember not to be too awesome, it's detrimental to a Pidgey's EQ!'

Chandelure started off with Will-o-wisp, powering up a Hex that fainted the Reuniclus, and got Chandelure to level 45. IN ONE HIT.

'Samurott: Moderately impressive. Now, next is… a Musharna.

'Pansear: Musharna?...We…haven't…seen…one …of…those…since… … …have…we…seen…one…since?'

"Since the dreamyard? I'm sure we've seen one in victory road or something. Anyway, Golurk, you're going to fight it."

'520: …:D'

Golurk used Dynamic Punch! The foe's Musharna became confused! It hurt itself in its confusion!

'Samurott: Hey. Two of Golurk's moves are punches. They're GOLURK PAWNCH…es!'

'520: * FALCON TAUNTS!*'

Next, Golurk used Heavy Slam to get Musharna into the yellow… so Caitlin used a Full Restore.

'Pansear:…wait…an…ancient…robot…is…faster…then…a…psychic…?'

'Musharna: I'm sleeping. If I woke up, I'd be fast… but I'm…so…tired… shouldn't have exercised…'

The next Heavy Slam Critical Hit, but next attack, Musharna used Shadow Ball and fainted Golurk. Stoutland came in and quickly Crunched for a faint. Next up was a Sigilyph, one of those odd totem birds. It used Ice Beam, fainting Stoutland. Not good.

"Go, Ferrothorn! Was that a good trainer voice?" I asked.

'Samurott: Kinda… brawl's voice actor was better.'

Ferrothorn first used Curse, then had a Hyper Potion sprayed on him. A few Air Slashes and a Gyro Ball later, the last pokemon of Caitlin, a Gothitelle.

One Hyper Potion and two Gyro Balls later… Gothitelle had a sliver of HP.

Ferrothorn used Power Whip! Gothitelle fainted! Ferrothorn grew to level 47, becoming ridiculously overpowered!

'Ferrothorn: Why do I get the feeling that that took a while?'

'Samurott: It's just you. Now let's Revive Golurk, and go fight the dark dude.'

I took the Shining Green Portal back to the main entrance, used a Revive then a Hyper on Golurk and Ferrothorn, and headed into the rightmost tower.

This tower had a platform with a spinny thing behind it. When I stepped on, the platform began to move, steam shot out, and I ascended spiral tracks. At the top…. Was a boxing ring.

I saved, switched Golurk in front, took Chandelure's Expert Belt and placed it on Golurk, and talked to him.

'Stoutland: Wasn't this the fighting place?'

'Unfezant: NOW WE WILL NEVER SEE THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE! NOOO!'

'Greetings, challenger. My name is Marshal. In order to master the art of fighting, I'm training under my mentor, Alder. My mentor sees your potential as a Trainer and is taking interest in you. It is my intention to test you- to take you to the limits of your strength. Kiai!' said the person, once I talked to him.

'Stoutland: I wonder if he knows that it it's supposed to be hai.'

'Pansear:…it…would…be…confusing…'

The screen flashed, pillars of electricity carried our pictur-'

'Chandelure: Wait, are those orange things his eyebrows or his helmet?'

'Unfezant: The helmet's a part of him!'

-es, and the battle begun. Marshal first sent out a Throh. Golurk used Fly, somehow outspeeding the Throh, and landed with a critical hit for a faint.

Next up? A Sawk.

'Stoutland: How predictable.'

'Pansear:…aren't…you…supposed…to…be…fainted?'

'Stoutland: Oh, yeah…oops…'

Sawk started with Stone Edge, but it missed. Fly also missed, though. Next turn Stone edge hit, but it wasn't very effective. The next Fly hit, causing Sawk's HP to go into the red, and a Full Restore to be used.

Next time Fly hit, the same thing happened.

'Pansear: Its…like…they're…trying…to…troll…us…'

'Stoutland:…but…it…does…explain…why…items…are….banned…in…competitive…battles…'

The next Fly connected, though, causing Golurk to grow to level 45. Next was a Conkeldurr, so the same Flying strategy was used. However, the Conkeldurr used Rock Slide, causing Golurk's HP to drop to red.

"I can haz Hyper Potion!" I said, applying it to Golurk. One more Fly fainted the Conkeldurr, causing it to faint and revealing Marshal's last pokemon: a Mienshao.

'That's my final pokemon! So we're going to use every last bit of our strength!'

'Samurott: So… Mienshaos look like purplish-white grasshoppers on two legs, with whiskers and oversized sleeves on their arms. … …what a weird pokemon.'

'Mienshao: It's not elegant to call someone weird.'

'Lampent: Who cares about elegant when you're in a battle with someone?'

The Mienshao started with Rock Slide… which wasn't very effective. Golurk then came down with Fly for an almost-KO.

'Mienshao: Oh! I must work on my defences in the future. Do I get last words?'

'520: *shakes head*'

Golurk used Mega Pawnch! The foe Mienshao fainted! Golurk grew to level 46! Kyle won won the battle!

'Samurott: Impressive, ghost one. You are strong in your usage of non-lethal force.'

"Anyway. Now we fight the dark guy." I said, taking the Portal and going into the last pillar.

In there, there was a conveyor belt that appeared to lead around a giant cake. As I traveled up, torches around the cake spontaneously turned on, leading upwards, where under a giant chandelier the last elite four member lay.

'Stoutland: Dark is weak to… bug? Yeah… and fighting. I think. So Dynamic Pawnch them repeatedly. But first restore the PP of the move.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's up with the spelling punch as pawnch? Ohh, it sounds good, right? Never mind.'

So I saved, gave Golurk a Hyper Potion, PP up and an Elixr, and gave Chandelure an Exp. Share. Once all that was done, I saved again and pressed A.

'Man oh man… what is going on today? Challengers coming one right after another. Well, no matter. I am Grimsley of the Elite Four, and I will fulfill my duty to be your opponent.' Grimsley said, causing electricity to flare up for the LAST time, and the battle to begin.

'Unfezant: Now we will see the true power of a celery side!'

'Samurott: … …should I count that? Anyway, two.'

Grimsley started out with a Scrafty, a Scraggy wearing a red Mohawk, a longer tail, and a chest that looked like it was wearing an orange jacket.

'Scrafty: Yo dude, you come here for a beatin'? It's not often that I get a meetin', meetin''

'Chandelure: Is he RAPPING? Oh, awesome! I love rap! You should do a rap battle!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's rap? Is it the rime thing?'

The Scrafty used Crunch, but it was avoided. Golurk used Fly! It was also avoided! Scrafty used Crunch! Golurk used Fly! It did damage!

'Samurott: But you know he knows crunch, though, so he's gonna lower your defense, oh. (How was that?)'

'Unfezant: (Needs more caviar!)'

I switched in Samurott to take a Crunch and then Surf, causing the Scrafty to faint.

'Samurott: And that is epicness, right there, so for the rest of Grimsley's team: beware.'

Next was a Krookodile, so Samurott stayed in and used Aqua Jet in a last-ditch effort, fainting. Ferrothorn came in and Power Whipped the Krookodile into fainting.

'Krookodile: Hey, you little metal disk there, you don't let me rap, why, that's just unfair…'

'Ferrothorn: Ohh, the beats? I kinda like this. Wot's stopping me from doing it?'

'Samurott: (Nothing really.) You know, steel doesn't like hot, so send in Chandelure to faint the Bisharp.'

I did so, and watched as Night Slash decimated Chandelure, but got Bisharp burned for its trouble.

'Ferrothorn: Wot's bad about attacking fire, you see, is that doing it burns you and me. Was that good?'

I sent in Golurk, who took a Night Slash and DynamicPunched the Bisharp into fainting.

'Ferrothorn: Oh wot? Nice going, Golurk. I wonder what pokemon next will lurk.'

The screen revealed that next was a Liepard.

"Well, there you go."

I used a Hyper on Golurk, then watched as Night Slash brought its HP back down. So I switched to Ferrothorn and used Iron Defense to try and limit Ferrothorn's HP dropping. It was at 25 HP… and then Ferrothorn used Gyro Ball and won the battle.

'Ferrothorn: And that is why, always, in the end, the good guys win. No contest.'

'Pansear: …oh…good….but…we…don't…have…enough…supplies…for…a…real…battle…'

"Well, I know the battle takes place in a castle, so maybe we can heal there."

'Unfezant: You watched spoilers? MAH BOI, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!'

**I**

**\|/**


	68. OOTCWCBDBAT

'Samurott: A WARNING FOR EVERYONE: The awesomeness in this part is just so much that it could actually leave behind a memory and spoil the game's ending. In short, if you're planning to get the game (which I recommend) or hate spoilers don't read these chapters, as it spoils the ending. This doesn't apply if you don't remember anything, so goldfish should just ignore this message. Thank you, and enjoy the chapter.'

Chapter 68: One Of Those Chapters Which Cannot Be Described By A Title

'Astonishing!' said Grimsley. ' You have defeated every member of the Pokémon League's Elite Four. But it isn't over yet. There is one more opponent against whom you must prove your strength. The pinnacle of the Pokémon League, the Champion, Alder... Or, perhaps, that man called N has defeated him and taken his title. I don't know which one you will face, but check the statue in the central plaza, and continue to the final room.'

"YES!"

'Stoutland: And that… is that. Now, we get to see plot at its best. Let the climax begin.'

'Ferrothorn: Are't you fainted?'

"Oh yeah… we're in no condition to fight N like this. And I don't think we have any Hypers left."

'Pansear: We…can….use…the…master…ball…on…Reshiram…'

"Yeah, that'll work. Let's go fight N!" I said, taking the Portal back to the entrance… where a lot of blue light was. The statue in the middle sparkled with a blue light, and when I pressed A on it, the camera zoomed in FLUIDLY… and the statue began to lower itself into the ground.

'Chandelure: …whoa….'

The statue levitated itself down onto a circular platform in front of some steps. I walked up them, and saw some pillars. Broken.

'Samurott: It's…like…you…can…feel…the…epicness…'

I continued walking up the stairs when a cutscene took hold and made me walk up… with the camera slowly sweeping upward… revealing what was on top of the stairs: a temple-like building.

I walked in… to find N and Alder on a pedestal.

'N: It's over! Never again will Pokemon be made to suffer or be held captive by humans. It's all thanks to my friend, Zekrom!'

'Zoroark: And mee! And mee!'

'Zekrom: And yo- N! That emolga's here! …and the other hero, but that's not important.'

"Wait, emolga?"

Emo ran up from behind and crashed into me.

'Emo: Pant…pant…ow….pant…pant…give…those…pant…cookies…pant…ow…back…pant…'

'Pansear: …I…think….we're…too…late.'

'N: You may have the title of Champion, Alder… But you can't stop me with just a title. Your soft heart has…left you weak. Years ago, you lost your Pokemon, your partner to sickness. In order to forget the pain in your heart, you wandered Unova… Who knows how long it's been since you've had to fight with your full strength? …I actually kind of like that about you, though.'

'Emo: …give…me..my…cookies…now…'

'Zekrom: Oh, those? They're all eaten.'

'Emo: WHAT? DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

Emo ran up to N and began ramming into him repeatedly, causing a mini text bubble to pop up every second or so with [CENSORED] in it.

'Unfezant: Whoa! Maybe he fed the cookies to a random dragon dude causing him to get steroids and evolve early! And then he was all oh no I evolved early I have to take a shower and-'

'Samurott: Be quiet, I'm trying to digest this plot here.'

N stepped up to Alder, causing Emo to slip past him. 'As a Trainer who far outmatches the Champion, I shall issue an order across the world: Trainers of the world, free your Pokemon! And… they will do so.'

'Stoutland: N seems almost out of character here. I thought he was having second thoughts about this thing.'

Alder made an ! appear over him. 'Alder: I beg you! Separating people from pokemon… do anything but that!'

'N: You and I fought with all or our strength. And I won. Do not say another word.'

'Zekrom: N! STOP BANTERING AND PAY ATTENTION! THE OTHER HERO PERSON AND EMOLGA ARE HERE!'

An ! appeared over N's head, and he stepped forward to me. '…I've been waiting. In the future I envisioned, you obtained a stone. And indeed, you have.'

'Zekrom: Wait, what? He has Reshiram? Oh yes. I have a score to settle with him.'

'Light Stone: …what… ….zekrom…here…. … …finally… … … …'

'That Light Stone… Zekrom is responding to it.'

'Stoutland: Well…obviously… …I'm…tempted…to…just…battle…'

'Pansear:…but…the…battle…is…in…a…castle…right…'

"No, this doesn't look like that castle."

'Zoroark: …wha? He knows about the castle?'

'N: **Stop.** You…know about the castle?'

"Well yeah, I watched a video o- THE castle?"

'N: You are expecting me to believe that you know about Team Plasma's castle.'

"Wait, what?"

'N: No… that cannot be… … … because… … … …no… … …'

'Zekrom: …N? Are you okay? I thought the signal's like "Rise up, the castle of Team Plasma!" right?'

The screen darkened… and showed an aerial view of the Elite four and the Champion Temple.

'Stoutland: WAIT…WHAT…THE…STATUE…IS…BACK…?'

The camera zoomed back, and a deep rumbling sounded on the speakers… so the camera panned over to the side of the building, where wilderness lay and storm clouds filled the sky…

And the ground cracked.

And cracked again.

And light shone out of the holes.

And the ground shook.

And on the top screen, a castle appeared.

More cracks grew, and a castle sprouted, encircling the Pokemon League on all sides.

'Pansear:…awesome…'

'Chandelure: Wow….'

'Emo: …I think that just made coming up here worth it.'

'Stoutland: Think…of…the…horsepower…needed…to…raise…that…'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Whoa… ….'

'Unfezant: Needs more blimps.'

The castle rose up, growing ever larger.

The castle was twice the Champion Temple's height.

The castle was about four times the Champion Temple's height.

The camera panned back to give a full shot of the castle, in all its enormosity.

"Wow… Team Plasma has their own huge castle!" I said.

'Zekrom: You figured this out NOW? N, you sure he's the hero?'

The castle opened a compartment, AND SHOT A LADDER OUT OF IT AND STABBED THE CHAMPION TEMPLE IN AN EPIC MOMENT OF AWESOME EPICNESS. 'with…snivies…'

'N: Wh-'

And the cutscene ended with an awesome shot of the dust settling over the Champion Temple.

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Back in the Temple, awesome music was playing, a ladder was right next to N, everyone hadn't moved at all, and the temple was in ruins.

'Chandelure: Wow…imagine…what…everyone…else…will…say…'

'Emo: Wow… I wonder who's going to pay for the damage.'

'N: I…wasn't considering damage in the budget… and without pokemon… … but you were right, what has just appeared is Team Plasma's castle. The king's words will resound from the heights to all below.'

'Pansear: And…it…makes…an…awesome…final…battle…'

'Emo: Wait a sec. Kylethanksbye!'

Emo ran out from behind the ladder and ran up it.

'N: Whether pokemon will be separated from people, or whether pokemon and people will live together… We will see whose belief is stronger… and your result…will change the world. I am waiting.'

N walked up the stairway… and Cheren walked up behind me.

'Cheren: Mr. Alder, you're a wreck. It's not fitting for the Champion.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? That's the first thing he notices?'

'Alder: …I…lost…' 'with…snivies.'

'Cheren: Mr. Alder! Are you all right? I was beating the Pokemon League when I heard something, and I got over here as fast as I could.'

'Alder: Er… congratulations…?'

'Cheren: I became stronger because I understood what I want to do. That's what is important.'

Cheren turned to face me. 'Kyle! Tell N this! He owes me a Casteliacone! And that some people grow stronger by being with Pokemon. My pokemon and I are proof. Together, we learned and became stronger. I know I can't do anything, but if there's any way I can help, let me know.'

'Alder: …I…I…I lost…. … … … …I should have been able to demonstrate the bond between me and my pokemon…that would have shown that brat the worthlessness of his outrageous dreams.'

"It's okay, Alder, N was using a legendary pokemon that probably overpowered your team."

'Samurott:…a…team…of…level….70s…'

'Alder: His convictions were the real thing…. Kyle, be careful. The ones who change the world are always the ones who pursued their dreams. Kyle, I ask this of you.'

'Cheren: Get my casteliacone back! No.'

'Alder: Even if pokemon and people are separated, nothing good will come of it. Please let him know that!'

'Chandelure: sixes?'

'Samurott: Nope…go…Magik- the…exposition's…over!'

"How'd you play Go Fish in pokeballs?" I asked.

'Unfezant: We hired a tardy 'is' and some bagels and programmed it to do the disco!' '…with…snivies…'

The screen panned over to me and I took the time to save, noticed that the Shining Blue Portal was blocked by a convenient rock, and began climbing the ladder… which led to a hole in the wall.

'Stoutland: The MUSIC! It's…all…awesome…and..conveys….a…sense…of…this…is…it… BW2… better…have…this…'

"Yeah."

I continued up the ladder, climbing from a ridiculous height to a more ridiculous height, with more ladders visible below. I climbed up until there was a doorway into N's castle, and there I hesitated.

'Unfezant: GO ALREADY I'M GETTING A WINGACHE FROM THIS!'

I went in.

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Inside N's castle, there was an organ. That organ began playing a sad tune, that managed to be simultaneously sad and epic and final at the same time. In N's castle, there were also six…familiar robed people blocking my path.

A red-robed one stepped forward. 'Those in accord with Fate are preserved, and those who rebel against Fate perish.'

One to the left of him stepped up. 'When the Way is forgotten, duty and justice appear.'

The onr to the right of the first one stepped forward. 'One can lose the forest for the trees.'

The one second from the left stepped forward. 'If you make a mistake and do not correct it, then that is a second mistake.'

The one on the far right stepped forward. 'Superior men understand what is right. Inferior men understand what will sell.'

'520: :D *nods*'

The last one, on the left, stepped forward. 'There are not two suns in the sky, nor two sovereigns over the people.'

They all stepped forward, encircling me.

"Wait, I thought you guys were just going to spout wisdom. I have to battle with N, you know."

'Well…' said the red one. 'If anything should happen to our king, it would be disastrous. It would ruin Ghetsis's perfect plan!'

"Aha! Spoilers don't lie. Generally."

'Our lord N has ordered us not to challenge you, because we would perish no matter what. But you are weak, no? Our lord N will be disappointed, but the six of us shall defeat you here!'

'Ferrothorn: WOT? Quickly, we need a two egg machine!'

'Stoutland: *facepalms*'

The music stopped.

'Ferrothorn: Who are those? Are those the egg delivery people out there?'

'Samurott: Oh…what?... … no…way!'

A text box appeared. '?: Can ya manage this?'

A ? appeared over Red Dude's head… and someone I never expected to see walk in.

'Clay: Here ya' go. One egg beat'r.'

The music changed to the last pokemon music, one that we all knew and love.

'Stoutland: Oh…my….Reshiram… YES! LET…THE…EPICNESS…BEGIN!'

Clay walked in front of the red guy, then turned to me. 'Clay: Still standin', are ya, Kyle?'

All of the Hood Dudes backed up, and the red guy spoke up. 'You… You're Driftveil's…?'

Clay proceeded to say the best words ever. 'Hrrrmph! Ain't just me!'

"NO. Game Freak, YOU ARE AWESOME."

From the ladder-hole came Lenora, Burgh, Elesa, Skyla, Brycen, and finally Iris and Drayden. EVERYONE.

'Lenora: So sorry… Not only are we stronger than you, but there are a lot of us!'

Bluecoat, to the left of Redcoat, did not like this. 'Accursed Gym Leaders! And your little dog pokemon too!'

'Elesa: Ignoring Team Plasma… That would be a terrible thing for us Gym Leaders to do.'

'Burgh: Bianca asked us to come, too.'

'Brycen: …'

'Skyla: I'm fine! Don't worry!'

'Iris: No need to worry! …I just stole someone else's line there, didn't I?'

'Drayden: Holder of the Light Stone, please proceed! We'll keep them here!'

The camera shifted over to me, everyone walked forward, and N's Castle's music started up again, somehow sounding more epic then before.

'Unfezant: AAARGH TOO MUCH EPICNESS!'

'Chandelure: WOW…THERE'S…SO…MUCH…EPICNESS!'

'Stoutland: Now…imagine…what…the…fight…with…N…is…'

I saved, then ran to the left and into more of N's Castle.

Which consisted of a little gap leading upwards. From there I ran right, passing a lot of windows, and arriving at some stairs. I climbed up them… and got assaulted by the Shadow Triad.

'In this castle, you may rest your pokemon and access your PC. Fear not.'

'Samurott: Finally…heal…us…'

He turned upwards, facing a door. 'First, have your pokemon rest in that room. When they are healed, it is our lord N's wish that you be moved to the innermost part of this castle.'

The guy teleported away, and I walked into the room… where two women were, with oddly-colored hair. It was PURPLE AND YELLOW.

The purple-haired one introduced herself as Anthea, and healed my pokemon before saying something odd… 'Trainers battle to practice their skills and to grow in experience, but never to hurt their pokemon. My lord N has realized this, deep down in his heart… but he has spent too much painful time here in this castle to admit it…'

'Unfezant: OH NO THERES A MIND CONTROL RAY HERE AAAAH SOMEONE GET SONIC I'LL GET A SCREWDRIVER AND A VACUUM BACKPACK AAAAH!'

The second person had something different to say.

'I am Concordia. I give peace and comfort to N. N has been separated from people since he was young. He was brought up with Pokémon... Pokémon that were betrayed, mistreated and hurt by bad people... Ghetsis deliberately brought only those poor Pokémon closer to N. N was touched by their plight, and started pursuing ideals, thinking only of Pokémon. N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence...'

'Stoutland: N WAS MANIPULATED BY GHETSIS? Bad Ghetsis!'

"Wow… … I feel kind of sad for N."

I ran out, and climbed up some more stairs… and another Shadow Triad member ambushed me.

'A battle between you and our lord N will reveal whether our lord N is an ideal hero. It will reveal whether you are an ideal hero instead.'

"Well duh, I'm the protagonist." I said, walking up the stairs guarded by the person.

'Stoutland: Wait a minute. Those fountains… how do they get plumbing and electricity in here? If Team Plasma wasn't evil they would be awesome.'

'Pansear: They're awesomely evil already.'

On the next floor, a triad member directed me to a room. When I went in it, the organ stopped… to be replaced with a music box version of N's theme. The creey plasma theme.

The room itself was a playpen, with a train running on dumped tracks, a basketball hoop and ball, and a toy box.

'Samurott: Creepy. And sad.'

Farther up was a pokeball- a Rare Candy- on a skateboard rink, and another toy box. When I pressed A on the basketball, it revealed that Harmonia was written on it.

The entire thing was really sad, mostly due to the guy saying that this was the entirety of N's world for a few years.

'Pansear: Now to think that N was trapped there with mistreated pokemon…'

I exited the room, not wanting to think about it more, and continued running right to the stairs.

The next floor had plasma signs adorning the walls instead of doors, and a really big door in the center of the room.

"So. This is it. Shall we?"

'Samurott: … …yes.'

'Pansear: It's what we've been working towards. And yes, I know I'm going to be replaced with Reshiram. Don't worry.'

'Stoutland: Let's do this. If I came all this far only to not do anything, then it would sure be a waste.'

'Ferrothorn: Yes. Let us show N to think about things thoroughly!'

'Chandelure: Let's do this with snivies!'

'520: *nodded slowly, just like in the Indigo Plateau*'

'Unfezant: What are you waiting for, you big sacks of fried potatoes? Get in there already!'

I pressed up, and entered the stage for the final battle.

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'Chandelure: Wait a minute. If this is the end of the game, then what's going to happen to us? I don't want to go!'

'Stoutland: O_O … … …uh oh.'

'Pansear: It was inevitable that this would happen. It happens everywhere. There's a reason death is so feared by humans. There's nothing we can do now but try as hard as we can, and to end knowing we did something.'

'Stoutland: Or we could pester zzzp2 for a sequel.'

**I**

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	69. IT'S FINISHED!

'Samurott: Well, here we are.'

'Stoutland: The last chapter.'

'Chandelure: This is the last?'

'Pansear: I think. 70 could be the last, though. We've come so far. Now let's do this!'

'Samurott: Why can't I do a motivational speech now?'

Chapter 69: IT'S FINISHED!

I walked inside the arch, to the final battle… to be pushed out by Ghetsis.

'Welcome, holder of the Light Stone. The castle that appeared as if it were enveloping the pokemon league is a symbol.'

'Ferrothorn: A symbol of how humans seem to do impossible things? THEY MADE WATER FLOAT. Wot's up with that?'

'Ghetsis: It means Unova will change.'

"So all of our homes will be enveloped by castles?" I asked.

'Chandelure: And waluigi! He would probably hide in there and be all waa and stuff.'

'Samurott: Now is not waluigi time. Now is plot time.'

Ghetsis gestured with his hand. 'The king of this castle is the fourth strongest Trainer in the world. He is accompanied by the legendary pokemon. He has defeated the Unova Champion. He would not bow to such lowly things as encircling homes. His heart burns with the desire to change the world, for he is a hero.'

'Stoutland: Wait a minute. Cynthia has a 60 Garchomp, Red has his Pikachu over 80, Lance… nope, 50 max. And blue or gary or cheeseball or whatever has level 70s. Wow. Ghetsis is actually accurate for once. And that's not counting rematches.'

'Unfezant: Cheeseball? I like whoever named him!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? Cheeseball? Who named him?'

'Ghetsis: 'Now that the stage is set, we can seize people's minds and hearts. We can bring into being the world that I-no, that Team Plasma-desires more easily than you can imagine! We and only we will use Pokémon, and we shall rule the powerless populace!'

"That's a really bad plan. You're stuttering, and YOU JUST GAVE AWAY YOUR PLAN TO SOMEONE WHO COULD EASILY STOP YOU."

'Pansear: I have to agree. Epic fail.'

'Ghetsis: …Go. Onward.'

Ghetsis walked to the side, and I walked into the arch to the FINAL battle. Finally.

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Inside the arch was a body of land, flanked on either side with sparkling water. I walked forward, and the camera panned forward abruptly… and panned…. and panned some more… and panned more…. and arrived at a throne, lit from the ceiling. And on it was N.

And a gear-like pokemon.

'Klinklang: But I don't want to go! I want to stay with you, Trainer! You've been nice to me, and I want to help you!'

'N: Are you really? This is a full-scale battle, with powerful forces acting. You could get hurt.'

'Klinklang: I'm okay with getting hurt if it means I can stay with you!'

'N: … …. … …very well. There is no time to waste.'

'Zoroark: Yay! Daddy finally listened! Yay!'

'Klinklang: Thank you! I'll fight as hard as I can!'

Klinklang returned to its pokeball, and N walked off the throne.

'N: There you are. It's time to settle this once and for all! My determination is infinite! I WILL prove the value of my beliefs even if it means my friends and dreams get hurt! Since you've come this far, I believe you are equally determined. If that's so, prove it to me! Show me the depth of your determination!'

The camera shifted back to me, and I took the time to save. I walked forward some more… and the menu sprung up without me pressing X.

'520: ? … …*looks at Chandelure funnily*

'Chandelure: Why are you all looking at me funny? Of course I still have that X button! Why wouldn't I!'

'Unfezant: Yes! Now we can search the options menu for a determination meter, which will be there due to the power of plot bunnies, and then we can show him!'

The impossible happened next. Unfezant ran down from her position behind me… and jumped onto the menu, shifting it to the Options screen.

'N: What?'

N shook his head. ' … … … so… … … …Zekrom, I believe the proper term for this is a Boss?'

'Zekrom: FINAL boss. But for wha- …oh. NOW you realize it. It takes a giant floating menu to convince you? And not a stranger knowing about Ghetsis and the castle?'

I tapped Close, then pressed X to close the menu. Then what Zekrom said registered.

"Wait… … but Zekrom's supposed to be outside the wall!"

'Stoutland: And you don't notice that N has FINALLY realized he's in a game. Obviously.'

'Samurott: Wait, he did?'

'N: … …. … … … …very well. In a game, there is no freedom. Fate is predetermined, with the player as victor. Who, as you appear to be the protagonist in this fateful game... …is you. Leaving me no choice but to… lose… …and let you have… fun. It's a strange thing, fun. It's carefree, letting the mind roam. Therefore, I shall attempt to be the best "final boss" ever.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot was that? Wot did the N person say?'

"Two words. HECK. YES."

'520: [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] :D'

'Samurott: YES TO THE HECK YES.'

'Pansear: Best final boss ever, huh… this better be good.'

'Zekrom: So… does this mean I get to do the whole fake electricity thing after all?'

'N: No. Reshiram is not responding. You haven't yet been recognized as a hero yet. Therefore, you have two options. Challenge me to a fight you have a very tiny chance of winning, or leave this place and watch the birth of Team Plasma's ideal world.'

'Chandelure: I'm tired of plot. Can Zekrom come already?'

'Zekrom: Meh, sure.'

As the screen faded to black for another cutscene, I could barely see an Emolga running up…

And the screen showed the camera approach the throne.

And the camera stopped.

And stopped some more.

And then the wall shattered.

And Zekrom flew in amidst the rubble.

And a shadow crossed the floor.

And Zekrom stopped above N.

And landed.

And roared.

'Unfezant: Fuzzy pickles!'

And charged up his spike tail.

Which glowed with a blue light.

And let off a bolt of electricity.

And evaporated all the water in the room.

And stopped and became chibified.

'Zekrom: was that awesome enough?'

'Samurott: …meh. Add more roaring, and have it last longer.'

"…yeah."

The textbox alerted me to the fact that the Light Stone… was trembling inside the bag!

'Light Stone: …Zekrom… … …is…that…you?'

N took a step back. 'Your Light Stone is… I mean, Reshiram is…'

I took a step back, and the Light Stone flew out of me, hovered in the air… and began to draw in a weird white light.

'Unfezant: Use the force, stone dude!'

'Zekrom: Reshiram!'

A sucking noise sounded, and all of a sudden the music STOPPED.

'The Light Stone draws in the aura of its surroundings and converts it into a powerful force, which is… now… being released!'

Another cutscene started.

The Light Stone, hovering in the air, began to spin.

And glow.

And make a whirlwind.

And make a white sphere around itself.

The camera zoomed into the sphere and saw a big blob of white and grey mass.

The grey mass's eyes opened.

The grey mass was Reshiram.

'N: So… the heroes have been chosen…'

'Ferrothorn: Is it going to hit me?'

Reshiram opened its wing-arm-things, shrugging off the light, and alighted on the ground.

And roared.

'Reshiram: ROOOOOAR!'

And charged up its tail with red.

And unleashed BURNING WAVES OF FIRE THAT HAD TO BE DESCRIBED IN ALL CAPS.

AND BURNED UP WHAT WATER WAS LEFT.

AND THE CAMERA PANNED, SHOWING ALL ITS SERPENTINE CHICKEN BODY.

And the cutscene ended, showing Reshiram standing in front of me.

'Pansear: You know, where was everyone during the cutscene? They weren't there.

'Reshiram: You. Person. I need you to make me fight Zekrom. Where is he.'

"Uh, behind you?"

'Reshiram: Not fooling me. I need you to catch me and make me fight him. I have a score to settle.'

'N: Zekrom and Reshiram were once one life. One pokemon. Opposites, yet the same. They appear before the hero they recognize, making you a hero, too.'

'Reshiram: Can you tell the guy behind me to be quiet and let you catch me? I want to battle with you against Zekrom. Try to make me your ally. Just because you can't catch me with one hit.'

'Zekrom: … … (should I tell him I'm here?)'

'N: (wait until both sides are evenly matched. Then. )'

The camera panned back to me, and I saved.

'Emo: Hey! Can you people all hear me? Anyone deaf? Nope? Good. I'm in a little booth up here, and I've got a little surprise. A good surprise, with not that bad consequences. For both of you. Reshiram and N. So… start the battle already, sheesh!'

'Stoutland: battle music?'

'Emo: Yes… wait,HOW DID YOU KNOW?'

'Stoutland: well, for major legendaries, we've always had an explanation for the battle music. Why not here?'

'Emo: …because I decided to do something nice for once?'

'Samurott: Yeah, of YOUR free will. (We never have free will anyway.)'

"Anyway. I'm going to battle with Reshiram now."

'Unfezant: Yay! Let the punching and firing and stuff begin!'

I pressed A, and Reshiram yelled.

'Reshiram: FINALLY. Now catch me, and find Zekrom.'

The screen flashed thrice, a bunch of aura went into the center of the screen, and out, and the battle began… with music with no beat, really fast, and a sound that was almost like a maraca.

'Emo: Sorry about this, Reshiram. This was for Zekrom.'

'Reshiram: No offense taken, random talking voice.'

'Zekrom: WHAT? I DO NOT DESERVE THAT SONG AND DO TAKE OFFENSE!'

Golurk got sent out… and I used a Master Ball. Gotcha! Reshiram was caught!

'Samurott:… that was a waste of a song. Not that big of a waste if you didn't use a master, but still a waste. BW2 needs a sound test, like a certain pink blob's games.'

'Pansear: Wait. If I go now, I get to stay where Unfezant is, right? And not get sent to the PC?'

'Unfezant: Well, I'm up here with Emo sighing the DJ table. It's fun,sighing randomly. It's so fun, it's fun with snivies fun. As in not fun fun. Or cheese.'

'Pansear: So there's an empty spot behind Kyle. I'm going there.'

'Pansear exited the party!' announced the text box, covering the pokedex screen.

The pokedex screen faded, then asked whether I wanted to name Reshiram. No.

'Samurott: Welcome to the party, Reshiram. Now let's go crush everyone.'

On the overworld again, the camera panned over to N.

'Reshiram: WAIT… behind that person: ZEKROM?'

'Zekrom: There you are! I've been waiting maybe a three days for you! Where were you!'

'Reshiram: …in a museum? Anyway. I've been wanting to challenge you to a rematch.'

Reshiram popped out of its master ball, and Zekrom stepped forward in front of N.

'N: Ah… I see. Reshiram, who is said to lend its power to the hero who searches for truth, appears to not care about you. It doesn't matter, as you may beat me yet. But now, it is time.'

'Zekrom: Oh, good. Battle time. Let's do this.'

'Samurott: Yes. Let us do this. The final battle.'

'Stoutland: Let's-a go!'

'N: Now, we will create the future we desire!'

We both stepped forward, and a twinkling sound played, followed by a bass track starting up.

'Emo: And the battle for the world is up and running with good music. Finally.'

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This was it.

N sent out Zekrom, and the music played an epic riff.

I sent out Reshiram, and another epic riff played, almost like it was timed.

'Chandelure: Epic music, Emo.'

'Zekrom: So. Let's.'

'Reshiram: Three.'

'Zekrom: Two.'

'Reshiram: One.'

Two text boxes appeared on the screen at the same time.

'Rock!'

'Scissors!'

'Unfezant: Paper!'

'Pansear: …'

'Stoutland: … … …they had a rivalry of ROCK PAPER SCISSORS?'

'Reshiram: …I lost again…'

'Zekrom: Be quiet, Chekov. You should stop using scissors every single time.'

'Unfezant: But I used paper, so everyone lost one and won one, so it's a tie, therefore you guys battle to see who wins with snivies.'

"…I think Unfezant just made sense."

'Stoutland: Not all of it.'

'Ferrothorn: Is there something wrong with that?'

"No… Reshiram, I'm going to be calling your attacks here, OK?"

'Reshiram: ...a battle? Huh, I trust you a little. I fail so much at strategy.'

First, I took a look at Reshiram's moveset, which consisted of Slash, Extrasensory, a fire-type move called Fusion Flare, and Dragonbreath. And I guessed Reshiram was fire/dragon and Zekrom was electric/dragon, so I used Dragonbreath for a super effective attack, doing about half of Zekrom's HP in damage. Zekrom started off with Fusion bolt, a move that looked suspiciously like Zekrom doing a certain blue hedgehog's signature move. It was weaker, and did about an eighth of damage.

Zekrom fainted! Chandelure grew to level 46 due to an Exp. Share!

'Zekrom: …that…was….fast…good…job….hero…person'

'Samurott: You know, for a legendary pokemon, that was a fast faint.'

'Pansear: N? Type advantages make everything.'

'N: Noted. I should probably begin studying once this is over.'

Next up was a Carracosta, so Ferrothorn came in.

'Ferrothorn: Wot? It looks like a turtle with armor. Or wearing metal armor.'

'Carracosta: It's a SHELL. MY SHELL.'

Ferrothorn used Power Whip! Carracosta fainted… but didn't due to its ability, leaving it with a sliver of HP! Carracosta used Stone edge! It critical hit!

'N: Ah! Here, take this.'

N used a Full Restore! Ferrothorn used Power Whip again! Carracosta fainted!

'Zoroark: Me now? I'll fight as hard as I can!'

'N: If you would like it.'

Go, Chandelure! N sent out a big mass of gears… which was not a Zoroark? Klinklang used Night Slash! Chandelure fainted!

'Chandelure: …can…a…Klinklang…even…learn…night…slash… … …cheater…'

'Klinklang: Yaaay!'

'Klinklang: Good job.'

Stoutland got sent out before I realized I had another fire type- Reshiram. Oh well. Stoutland used Strength, avoiding a Focus Blast… and the Klinklang pixelated, revealing it to be a Zoroark.

'Zoroark: Haha! Fooled you!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? You can do that?'

'Stoutland: Impressive. I was half expecting you to be a ditto.'

'Zoroark: Oh! I can do that too!'

Zoroark's sprite pixelated and transformed into a ditto… and then I tapped Strength and fainted the Zoroark, getting Stoutland to level 45.

'Klinklang: Zoroark, you fooled everyone. That was awesome! Can I go up next?'

I switched in Reshiram, who used Fusion Flare and did a red Spin Dash into Klinklang, fainting it.

'Unfezant: You're too slow! Fail.'

'Klinklang: …at…least…I…tried…'

'N: You did.'

Next up was an Archeops, which I thought might be related to Archen. And it was, being a multicolored bird serpent.

Samurott used Surf! It's super effective and 1-hit KOed!

'Samurott: Insert taunting here.'

N's last pokemon was a Vanilluxe, a two-faced and two-scoop ice cream cone.

'N: My last friend… I'm sorry… for all of you… '

Reshiram used Fusion Flare! Reshiram grew to level 51 and WON THE BATTLE.

I had almost beaten the game.

'Zekrom: Nice battling, Reshiram. I'm proud of you. So would Kyurem.'

'Emo: See there, Unfezant? THAT is how you battle.'

'Unfezant: I can't hear you, I've got a drumstick in my ear.'

'Emo: There are drumsticks up here?'

'N: …and it's over. The dreams I held… all lost… but maybe it was for the better. Maybe.'

Back in the overworld, the camera panned back over to N. 'Your feelings… your friends… they were stronger than mine, it seems. Or maybe it was my error…'

The camera flashed for a split second and showed a closeup of N in front of a blurred hole in the wall.

'N: Reshiram and Zekrom… them coexisting… two heroes… could they both be right? Probably. I have to think over this. It's not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting new ones that a society grows. That…is the formula for changing the world. Yes.'

"There we go. And N? Remember when I said that Ghetsis manipulated you, back then?" I asked.

'N: Yes, why?'

Ghetsis walked up behind me, changing the music to an…evil-sounding one. 'After all of that, do you think you're still worthy of sharing the name Harmonia with me?'

"I wanted to say I told you so."

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**I**

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	70. Fin

Chapter 70: FIN

'Ghetsis: You good-for-nothing boy!'

'Chandelure: Wow! The evil person!'

Ghetsis walked beside me. 'To start with, I spurred N into pursuing ideals.'

'Zoroark: Wait, WHAT? Ghetsis? Are you okay?'

'Stoutland: Oh good, plot.'

'Ghetsis: You were supposed to reawaken the legendary pokemon to give MY Team Plasma more power! Power to control the fearful masses! That at least was well done. But then you had to ruin it all by putting your beliefs on the line! You had the power to rule… and you lost to an ordinary trainer! There is such a thing as being too stupid!'

'N: …'

'Emo: Oh, he's evil all right. Hey, Unfezant, let's make a battle theme for him if he ever battles!'

'Unfezant: But it has to have lots of cymbals because cymbals are evil. THEY ARE EVIL, I TELL YOU! They stole my piece of signature cheese! It had my signature on it!'

'Add it up, and you are nothing more than a warped, defective boy who knows nothing but pokemon. WHO FAILED.'

'N: …'

Ghetsis turned to me. 'Kyle! I never would have thought the legendary pokemon would choose a trainer like you! It caught me completely off guard.'

'Reshiram: Well, he was just standing there, and anyone who helps me beat Zekrom is awesome.'

'Zekrom: …he…is…awesome… …but…not…you…'

'Samurott: Well, if he was off guard, then his plan was really bad. He should at least plan for it.'

'Ghetsis: This doesn't change my goal. My plans have not been disturbed!'

Ghetsis turned towards me. 'In order to rule this world utterly, in order to manipulate the hearts of people who nothing, I was going to have N be the king of Team Plasma. But you were right. It was foolish of me to reveal my plan. For my plan to work, you—the roadblock to power- must be eliminated!'

'Ferrothorn: Wot? We're going to battle him?'

'Emo: Well… …looks like we're battling. Unfezant, can you help me program this stupid keyboard?'

And just when I thought we were battling, Cheren and Alder came up from below.

'Cheren: Rule the world? Wasn't Team Plasma's goal to liberate pokemon?'

"His logic is that if no one but him has pokemon, he can rule unchallenged."

'Ghetsis: And I assume you overheard all that too. But seriously, use your head. What's to be gained from letting go of such useful tools? Certainly manipulating pokemon helps people expand their possibilities. That much, I can agree with. So it naturally follows that only I should be able to use pokemon!'

'N: …'

'Alder: You fool! That's a ridiculous idea!'

'Ghetsis: You can say whatever you want. A pokemon, even if it's revered as a deity, is still just a pokemon. Kyle! So what if it chose you! That doesn't mean you're a threat.'

Ghetsis walked in front of me. 'It means that all that's left to do is to defeat you, and then my plan will have been accomplished!'

'Pansear: Uh oh. We're damaged, right?'

'N: Ah! Kyle! Take this!'

A sparkling noise was heard, and I assumed my pokemon all got healed.

'Ghetsis: I WON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO STOP ME! NO MATTER WHO DOES WHAT!'

'Emo: ready, Unfezant?'

'Unfezant: Let's rock the plac- what's that light mean?'

'Emo: It means it's…ridiculously low on battery. Guess we'll have to improvise. Drumstick drumstick… aha!'

A drum went boom. Boom-boom-boom.

Ghetsis's sprite appeared with the same intro that N did. He was laughing.

'Chandelure: Wow… evil.'

'Samurott: Chaotic evil.'

Music: Boom boom. Boom boom. Boom boom.

'Unfezant: I got a cymbal! DIE!'

Music: Boom boom crash. Boom boom crash. Boom boom crash.

Ghetsis sent out a Cofagrigus.

The drums got more frantic while keeping the beat. Boom. (boom boom boom boom) Boom.

'Unfezant: Whee! Tap dancing on drums is fun!'

I sent out Reshiram and the battle began.

I switched in Ferrothorn so that Cofagrigus's Toxic wouldn't affect me.

Ferrothorn Cursed.

Ferrothorn took a Shadow Ball.

Ferrothorn used Gyro Ball, doing a lot of damage.

'Emo: You programmed the ominous chanting, right?'

'Unfezant: Well, Duh! '

Music: DENNNNNNIS. DENNNNNIS.

I burst out laughing.

Cofagrigus used Shadow ball, got a critical hit, and got Ferrothorn down to 3 HP.

I stopped laughing.

I used a Max Potion.

Ghetsis used a Max Potion.

Music: DENNNNNIS.

Ferrothorn used Gyro Ball, 1 hit KOing Cofagrigus.

'Ferrothorn: Why isn't anyone talking?'

'Pansear: It would ruin the epic mood set up by short sentences.'

I checked who was coming next and saw something bad. Someone who the internet collectively hated.

Hydreigon.

I sent in Reshiram because he was the highest-leveled of the group.

Ghetsis sent out a Zweilous. Flying. With the two heads looking more like arms. And a third head, larger than the other two in the middle of them.

And it was level 54 and Zweilous or whatever it was called evolved at level 64.

'Hydreigon: Hehehehehehehehehe…. MOAR! MOAR POWAH! Need MOAR!'

Hydreigon used Dragon Pulse, taking out a big chunk of HP.

My Dragon attack did about the same amount of damage.

I switched in Golurk.

Hydreigon used Surf for a 1-hit KO.

'Hydreigon: I HAVE THE POWER! BUT I CAN'T GO WITHOUT IT! EHEHEHEHE!'

'520: …O_O….'

Samurott switched in.

Samurott used Surf.

Hydreigon almost fainted.

Ghetsis used a Full Restore.

Never have I been madder.

I switched in Chandelure.

Hydreigon Surfed for a KO.

I switched in Ferrothorn.

Hydreigon used Fire Blast for a KO.

I switched in Stoutland.

Hydreigon used Focus Blast for a KO.

I switched in Samurott.

I used a Max Potion on Reshiram.

Samurott fainted.

I used Dragonbreath.

I used a Max Revive on Samurott.

Hydreigon used Dragon Pulse.

Samurott used Surf.

It critical hit.

Hydreigon fainted.

Never have I been happier.

Mouth curled up in a grim smile, I used a Revive on Stoutland.

Bouffalant used Head Charge.

Samurott fainted.

I used a Revive on Golurk.

Bouffalant used Head Charge for a KO.

I sent in Golurk.

Bouffalant used Earthquake.

Golurk barely hung on.

I used a Max Potion.

Golurk took two Earthquakes.

Golurk used GOLURK PAWNCH.

Bouffalant became confused.

I revived Samurott.

Bouffalant used Earthquake.

I used a Max Revive on Reshiram.

Bouffalant hit itself and fainted.

I topped my record of happiness from a minute ago.

I sent in Reshiram against a blue electric eel: Eelektross.

Reshiram used Fusion Flare.

It critical Hit and fainted.

I switched in Samurott.

I Max Revived Ferrothorn.

The newly sent out Seismitoad used Rain Dance.

Seismitoad used Earthquake.

Samurott had 3 HP.

Samurott used Surf for an almost faint.

Both pokemon had a pixel of HP.

Samurott used Aqua Jet for a faint.

Samurott grew to level 49.

Ghetsis sent in a Bisharp.

Fusion Flare fainted the final foe.

The music changed to a piano sweep, almost triumphant.

After a second, Ghetsis came into the screen.

'My calculations… no! My careful scheme… all gone!'

My suspiscions were confirmed.

I had just beaten the game.

'Samurott: YES!'

'Emo: Wow. That wasn't nearly as much failing as I thought would happen.'

'Pansear: We…are…awesome…that's…why…'

'Stoutland: yes…'

'Chandelure: Yay… … …now…what?'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's the question about? We watch the ending!'

I stuck my fist in the air. "YES!"

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'Ghetsis: What? How could I lose? I created Team Plasma with my own hands. I'm absolutely perfect! I AM PERFECTION! I AM THE PERFECT RULER OF A PERFECT NEW WORLD! AND I LOST! THIS CANNOT BE!'

Alder stepped forward. 'Now, N… Do you still think pokemon and people should be separated?'

N looked away.

'Ghetsis: Ha! Since I couldn't become the hero and obtain the legendary pokemon myself, I prepared someone for that purpose-N! He's nothing more than a freak without a human heart. Do you think you're going to get through to a warped person like that?'

'N: …'

'Cheren: Alder, it's a waste of valuable time listening to him ramble on. He is the one without a human heart.'

'Alder: You're right. He's truly pitiful.'

Alder turned back to N. 'N… I'm sure you have much to think about. I know you weren't pursuing ideals because of Ghetsis's manipulation, but because of your heart. That is why you were able to meet the legendary pokemon!'

N faced down. 'N: But…I have no right to be the hero… '

'Alder: Is that so? I think so. What you and the legendary pokemon are going to do from now on… That's important, wouldn't you say?'

N shook his head. 'Acting like you understand, despite the fact that we've been fighting each other about our beliefs… why? I have a lot to think about now, and yet you think you can understand?'

'N, even if we don't understand each other, that's not a reason to reject each other. There are two sides to any argument. Is there one point of view that has all the answers? Give it some thought.'

'Cheren: Are you done talking, Alder? Let's take this madman away.'

Alder and Cheren walked on either side of Ghetsis, then walked down with him offscreen.

N looked down, then shook his head and walked down to me.

'Emo: What's that, Unfezant?'

'Unfezant: I found this on the internet! It's perfect for a battle theme!'

'Emo: It says N's farewell… Unfezant, what the heck is this and why is "N's castle" in the related videos? And Ghetsis battle theme?'

A somber piano theme reminiscent of a certain Mother's love began to play.

'N: I want to talk to you about something. It's about when I first met you in Accumula Town.'

N walked upwards, dragging me with him, walking onto the walkway to the throne.

'I was shocked when I heard what your Oshawott was saying.'

N turned to me. 'I was shocked because he said that he trusted you.'

'Samurott: …I said that? No, I said something along the lines of this is going to be fun.'

N continued walking up before looking down and shaking his head. 'I couldn't understand it. I couldn't believe there were pokemon that liked people. Because, up until that moment, I'd never known a pokemon like that.'

'Stoutland: Just HOW long were you not allowed to go into the world? You could have gone anywhere that wasn't this castle and found pokemon like that.'

'Zoroark: And I thought he was a pokemon back then! I thought he was my daddy!'

'N: The longer my journey continued, the more unsure I became. Stoutland, you are right. Everywhere I went, I kept meeting pokemon and people who loved and helped one another. That was why I needed to confirm my beliefs by battling with you.'

'I wanted to confront you hero-to-hero. I needed that more than anything.'

N walked up, bringing the hole in the wall into the screen's view.

'And now I'm in a game, at the game's end. There's no way a person like me, who understands pokemon and nothing else- no… I didn't understand them, either. There's no way I could measure up to you, who had so many friends surrounding you in this one world.'

N walked to the very edge of the wall.

'I have a lot to think about, and what I should do now is something I'll have to decide for myself.'

N threw a pokeball, and Zekrom appeared flying in the gap.

N turned down to face me.

'Kyle!'

N appeared in a closeup, with the crack in the wall behind him.

'You said you have a dream… Mine is to survive long enough to think of what I've done. If this is indeed the end of the game… I will vanish, along with Team Plasma. My dream is to survive. Maybe I can get into another game and live on there.'

'Chandelure: I feel like I'm going to cry. N shouldn't disappear!'

'N: Your dream, however… Make it come true! Make your wonderful dream a reality, and it will become your truth! And if anyone can make dreams come true, it's definitely you.'

"N… bye. And don't worry, my world will remember you. I think."

'N: That is…good. Well then… Farewell!'

The screen turned black.

Pokemon Black Version was displayed on the top screen.

Epic music began to play.

People's names began to flash on the screen.

I had beaten the game.

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'Pansear: So. This is the end.'

'Unfezant: Now we can look at all the times that we said Fuzzy Pickles!'

'Chandelure: You only said that once.'

'Unfezant: Then we'll look at that for the credits!'

'Samurott: Yea- is that James Turner in the pokemon design section?'

'Stoutland: I think he designed Golurk and Golett. And there he is again under movies.'

'Unfezant: Ooh! There! Shota kageyama, Go Ichinose, Hitome Sato, Junichi Masuda and Minako Adachi under music. They were awesome with snivies!'

'Samurott: Hey, it shows what music they composed, too! Shota did the ending and route 10? Must like mother. Ichinose did the towns… and Masuda did battle music. Everyone, you are awesome.'

In the background, something moved.

It scrolled up.

'Chandelure: There! English localization, and the only guy that's not Japanese! David Numrich! Get him to oh wait does that say translation down there? Forget David, everyone pester Tim Hove to add 'With Snivies' to BW2!'

'Unfezant: Yeah!'

The camera panned back to reveal the thing that Unfezant said Fuzzy Pickles near.

Zekrom.

'Samurott: Masuda did the plot? He's awesome. Period.'

'Stoutland: And there's a guy named Koga! I wonder if they named HGSS Koga after him.'

The camera zoomed in on Zekrom's blinking eye… before going black again.

'Pansear: And Satoshi Tajiri, the man who started it all. And Satoru Iwata and Ishihara.'

'Samurott: And everyone else we didn't mention. They are all epic, and thank you all for making pokemon.'

The screen lit up to show a serene scene, with water below, and a big black flying arrow… which was then zoomed upon to reveal Zekrom… flying to a distant land…

And the game saved.

And the game displayed two words, famous throughout the world.

**THE END**

**A/N: And… it's done in exactly seven months.**

**This story wasn't originally planned to be like this at all.**

**I wanted it to be "Go through Black pointing out everything wrong with the game".**

**It evolved into "Do the thing above while being as funny as possible".**

**Everything changes from how it's planned. It's a fact in life.**

**I hope you enjoyed this romp through Unova as much as I did writing it.**

**I'd also like to thank a few people. Not many, don't worry.**

**First, a random person whose username is fractalman. He gave me the idea to interact with N, and without him this might have been another playthrough.**

**Second, lots of people I know in real life who supported me through this. **

**And third, you. For reading all this and laughing.**

**Thank you.**

**To finish, I present a link to the credits music. For it is awesome. youtube (dot) com/watch ?v=Z-EJEDwxvd0  
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**And now, I hereby declare this chapter-**

'Pansear: WAIT!'

**COMPLETE!**

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**Okay, what, Pansear.**

'Pansear: Well, this is the end. And… I don't want it to be the end.'

'Ferrothorn: Wot's going to happen?'

**I don't… know, really. This is the first time I've finished a story.**

'Chandelure: Are we just going to fade? Or what?'

'Stoutland: I hope not. Or can we just get a sequel.'

'Unfezant: And it will have pokemon coming out of the DS and evil and going to the pokemon world and weirdness and epic funniness!

… **if I do, it's not going to be how Unfezant says it is. Maybe someone else might write that. I challenge someone to write that. But I can't do a sequel now. Maybe after BW2 come out.**

'Samurott: Is that the best we can get?'

**Yeah. Maybe. But I'll try.**

'Samurott: …that's good enough for me, then.'

'Stoutland: …then…'

'Samurott: *sigh* Yep.'

THE END

'Unfezant: Good. Now let's go get some Casteliacones by climbing on the big robodude again!'

'520: …*sighs*'


	71. ANNOUNCEMENT: And another thing

And another thing…

**Nope, no actual chapter. (Before you wonder where the cast is, they're off trying to find the casteliacone shop. And failing. It's on the right, guys!)**

**The reason for this chapter announcement thing is… I'm not doing a sequel.**

**An integral part of any pokemon game is making a new team from scratch, and short of an anti-leveler, which is kind of expensive, I can't do a sequel with the pokemon that have been with us this entire time. **

**And if I did a sequel without them, then it would be like a separate story. Just the same thing as this one, with slight differences. And that's not a sequel, it's a copy or adaption or something.**

**That, and I can't think of anything else that would make a good plot. The screen was shattered in this story. I can't just do it again, and I can't think of anything else to smash.**

**So I'm NOT writing a sequel.**

**Key word: I'm.**

**FROM NOW ON, WHOEVER READS THIS PARAGRAPH IS NOW ALLOWED TO USE MY CHARACTERS IN WHATEVER THE READER OF THIS PARAGRAPH WANTS, SO LONG AS THEY MENTION THIS STORY AND PROVIDE A LINK TO THIS STORY(and maybe alert me of what they're using them in). If you didn't read this, too bad; no character license for you.**

**I can't write a sequel. Hopefully one of you can.**

**I'm sorry.**

**And thank you.**


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